We are going to let out some of those unpretty words you got there in your hands.
People have words hanging in their closet that they dust off for rainy days to remind you of things you thought you had sorted. It's not that they knew they would use those words at you, it's not that they dusted them off and said "this is just the kind of kick in the face type of thing I want to say to her next time." Seriously, they didn't think that hard about it, but, it's still a thing isn't it? That when you feel like you got it handled and settled someone always has to show up and throw some more of those unpretty words your way.
Whats worse? They have no idea that's what they did.
Some people are born cynics.
Some people are born motivated.
Some people are born worry warts.
Some people are born free spirits.
All people are born.
Since you were born and you might actually want to live a life that isn't weighed down by anothers words all tumbled out because they thought they were helping, sharing, communing...
You can say 'no'.
It's hard sometimes.
Saying 'no' to words that were well meant but ill regarded.
It's not that you want the person to zip up their words, but you want those unpretty words to change. Because those words seep into your skin like water to your spirit and they feed you.
You notice the 'It was rough', 'It wrecked me.' and the 'It's okay." when actually, your spirit needs it as 'It was real', 'it made me' and 'it will become clear in time.'
But you can't tell words to change.
You can't blame anyone for your word needs.
But you can say no. And it won't be pretty, it won't come out smooth and pretty as you imagined it, because whenever you need to keep the positive going, there is never an easy way to do it. It's like turning on a bright light after being in the dark for too long. Your eyes can't adjust fast enough and you are left blinking.
You are blinking.
They are blinking.
So accept that it can't be an easy process when you are fighting your insecurities and your negative monsters.
You know what YOU need, and just because someone else thinks you need some good ol' fashion 'This is how it is' talk, you are the only one who knows if and when you need to hear it.
And us listeners who see that another is affected by our narrative, we need to back those words up!
We need to back up and breathe because the last thing we want to do is send someone off with a version of our words that didn't leave them with truth that softened and not truth that stung.
Truth doesn't sting it heals, so the truth of your story should be to heal and bring salve to a wound. Words have power and we can't be so concerned that someone isn't 'getting it', when really...it's us.
Our communication, our narrative, our words that we think are just normal, may actually have a side to them that are unpretty, unwelcome and unhelpful.
And if truth words heal, then our receivers should be healing along with us as we share.