Permission to make. 

This was the main theme I left with after soaking in those five workshops that "Women in Film and Television Atlantic" provided myself and other women.

There is something about women that without even knowing it, we tend to insight doubt, fear and lack of knowledge into our minds as we ponder what it would be like to try our hand at something.

"I didn't go to school for that."

"I won't be as good as her/him."

"They won't understand why."

"I am a fraud."

"I am a mother.  I can't do that too."

Whatever it is we tell ourselves, they can be summed up in a few themes.  

Not our place.  Not our intelligence.  Not practical.  Not believable. 

I sat there in this class with women who act, write, perform, produce, aspire and was told again and again from the women (and one man) who stood and gave us a few tools for our toolkit that we were capable.  

Make something.  Anything.  Seek out the women and others around you who know something.   Maybe they won't help you, and maybe they will.  Maybe all they can do is point you in the right direction.  

By that doing, that showing up for yourself and forging the path, that is the permission.  

I Learned About Myself

I found out that I am an abstract creator.  I think with colour, texture, emotions rather than with words, logic or technical thinking.  I may use the craft of words, but my mind is all contrast, gut and emotions.  I learned I need to work on finding ways to bridge that gap.  The gap between abstract and logic.  I learned that writing will always be my first love, and I learned that editing is everything that would make me want to pull my hair out.  I learned that I knew a lot more about creating online content then I give myself credit for and I learned that playing with other mediums that interest me to produce my work will not only teach me more about myself but open up creative spaces in my brain I hadn't thought about before. 

Ultimately, I learned not to limit myself in capabilities.  That it's really about being able to humble yourself in what you don't know, in order to gain that awareness of what you can learn from and alongside others.  

I am still figuring out how to apply these things into my work and my next projects.  I truly believe this opportunity has been the stepping stone for me for ideas and mediums which before I would have told myself wasn't my place.  

It's time to let go of limitations and be a bit incredulous in my scheming. 

PERMISSION TO MAKE!!!

The Mom Show at the Company House in The Atlantic Fringe Festival 2016

So far in my work, the theme of womanhood has been a common thread.  Maybe its because I am a woman, or maybe it's because I am the type of woman who thrives on the magic that happens when women unite forces.  Either way, when it came to continuing 'The Mom Show' I saw women being the centre of it's continued existence. 

Women coming alongside other women, women collaborating with women and women becoming a stronger voice in the places they hold in this world.  

In saying that, I also believe that my own self-doubt, fear and insecurities are the reasons I feel inclined to focus on women and their experiences.  When we unite as women we create spaces for empathy, courage and strength that didn't exist before.  We create them for ourselves and future generations.  It's not about women who work, women who stay at home, women who have kids, women who don't have kids, women who can't have kids.... It's not about any of that.  

It's about ALL of Women.   Her story, is my story.  My story is her story.

I write from my own experiences and I believe that finding ways to collaborate with other women not only brings unity and compassion but a depth in compassion for each other. 

I focus on women because I am one.  I was raised by one, and I am raising one.

So yeah, I may not be Lena Dunham, Sarah Polley or Marie Forleo, but I am Amy Grace and what I have to say and share with the other women sitting in the arena of vulnerability with me, is sacred, raw and some real deep shit.

___

THE MOM SHOW YOGA FLOW
With Katherine King
37 Shaughnessy Place
Bedford NS
Sunday May 28th
3:00 - 4:30

Heres the dang honest truth!

I don't know what I am doing until I am doing it.
Showing up for 'the work' is often how I find out what 'it' is.
If binging on Netflix made me happy for long periods of time, I would do that instead. 

With that in mind, now you need to know:

Making work that is collaborative, insights discussion, and creates vulnerability is my happy place and motivation.  I will do anything to keep on that track.  In fact, when I am not on that track I am miserable.  I get anxious, unhappy, fidgety and restless and destructive.

Thats what you need to know about yourself.  What is your true motivation for anything?  Once you tap into that, aligning your life and decisions with your motivations will create an amazing burst of energy.

Self - awareness is motivations best counsellor.  You can know all there is to know about something, but if you aren't self aware enough to take a step back and see what is taking away your motivation to be enjoying, doing, creating... then you miss out on that boost to go farther.

For me?  I just work on showing up everyday for that time that I have been given.  On a good day, I don't overthink it or get caught up in the "who the heck do I think I am concept."  I just show up and do.  There will always be a little person on your shoulder trying to whisper in your ear that nothing you do is going to create a difference.  Our job isn't to live without that little person, but to acknowledge it's presence and that everyone has one.  Every single person in this world lives with that self-doubt and when we recognize that humanity, we recognize how silly it is to get caught up in our own importance, our own ego and self-bigness.

You are called to show up to what you feel you are called and led to do.  That is it.  Show up, and maintain enough self-awareness that reminds you of your calling and that no matter what part you are playing it is an important part.  

And if you happen to look over your shoulder after a while and see how far you've travelled, do yourself a favour:  acknowledge it, give thanks for it, and then get back to work. 

What can you expect from this inspiring women-centered special event?

Your Presenters

Amy Grace

by Amy Grace is a writer, producer and performer who is passionate about empowering women through collaborations and various art forms. In the past year Amy wrote and starred in The Mom Show or the Most Boring Show Ever at The Atlantic Fringe Festival. Since 2013 she has been running a monthly collective meet up for creative women in the Halifax area “The Creatives”. She trained at Neptune Theatre's Pre Professional Training Program, is married to her high school sweet heart, Jeremy Lai, an engineer and her online/all things technology right-hand. Together they have a toddler and live in Bedford.

Katherine King

Katherine King is a Registered Massage Therapist, a Registered Yoga Teacher, and a mom to three snarky but loveable tween and teen kids. She believes in living life FULLY and giving out vibes of caring and authentic connection to every beautiful soul she meets. She is THRILLED to be bringing back her signature touch style to yoga practitioners in the Bedford / Larry Uteck area. Currently, Katherine teaches a variety of awesome yoga classes: Flow, Yin, Restorative, Prenatal, and Yoga + Massage at several studios in the Bedford/Hammonds Plains area as well as through private instruction. Katherine's unique style of teaching asana and intention both UPLIFTS your spirit, as she guides you in each practice to become more GROUNDED in mind and body than ever before.

YOUR SHOW

The Mom Show or The Most Boring Show Ever, is an empowering and comedic take and journey through new motherhood from prenatal to postpartum. Using yoga as a platform, along with comedic honesty, Amy performs the journey of a woman becoming mother in todays society and aims to empower by delving into self care, self worth and what it means to see oneself as whole and worthy. The Mom Show isn't just for moms. It's for anyone wanting to take back their worth and have a laugh while doing it.

YOUR FLOW

Your 60 minute Yinyasa practice will bring vitality and nourishment to your body through 30 mins of all-levels flowing standing series asanas linked mindfully with breath, followed by 30 mins of glorious body softening Yin postures (floor series) with Katherine's amazing assists and grounding, soothing massage touch (optional, to each attendees consent).

YOUR VENUE

Enjoy your show and yoga flow in a beautiful sunlit and spacious practice area at 37 Shaughnessy Place in The Ravines of Bedford. A former QEII Show Home, it is situated along a private cul-de-sac where you will find ample and easy street parking.

YOUR TREATS (!)

We want to say "Thank You" for showing up and being involved in women supporting other women!

Every attendee is welcome to a celebratory, complimentary signature bevy post flow.

You will also depart with a truly unbelievable 'SWAG BAG' of awesome items from local Bedford/Hammonds Plains Womenpreneurs . You are not going to believe these goodies!!

A portion of the proceeds will be going to Dress for Success - Halifax Chapter.

Zoë Wing Zhe Lai - Two Years Old.

Coming alongside this little spirit to raise her into her place in this world has created an evolution in us.  Finding more purpose, meaning and intention in the 'dailys'.  Letting go of the unnecessary, making time for what creates a whole, healthy and functioning family, and growing deeper in a sense of individuality within all of that.

Two years of life has uncovered her independent nature.  There is nothing more stunning than seeing a little woman assert herself and her discernment of her own readiness astounds us.  When she has decided she is ready to learn a new skill, word or game, nothing will stop her.  She has also the patience to wait for her own spirit and body to catch up.  She will not be rushed or pushed into anything.

Peanut Butter Cupcake Cones - Family Tradition

Two years of solidifying our little family and learning about each other.  Quiet moments before the days end, all of us in the bed, even the cat, snuggled in and we inhale that scent of togetherness.

Two years of uncovering her incredible personhood.  

Thankful for this little spirit full of life, for her health, her nature, her ups and her downs.  Every year with her is a blessing.

It's been over a year since we made this video for Newbirth Doula, Adrienne Kehler.  It feels timely to re-share our love for doulas on our daughters Zoës second birthday and only a few days before we collaborate with the Nova Scotia Doula Association.

Check out their event page for this Saturday May 6th! 
The Mom Show can be attended outside of this workshop.
4:30pm.
Bedford Basin Farmers Market
397, Bedford Highway
$15.00 at the door!
 

Excited to be spending this week preparing for showing 'The Mom Show' in collaboration with the Nova Scotia Doula Association for this coming Saturday!

Having a doula was a huge part of my birth experience and I am proud to be coming alongside them in this workshop!

If you are in the Bedford, NS area and want to see the show you do not have to be attending the workshop to come see it.  Tickets will be sold at the door for The Mom Show so don't hesitate to come by and enjoy 30 mins of comedy and honesty rolled into one!

The Mom Show at the Rebozo Connection: The Gena Kirby Method
May 6th
4:30pm <---- The Mom Show Start Time
Bedford Basin Farmers Market
397 Bedford Highway

FACEBOOK PAGES
The Mom Show
Rebozo Connection Workshop

Malasana Pose / As I like to call it : the natural birthing pose. 

I often get asked 'Why yoga?' when I describe my thirty minute one woman comedy/drama show is me on a yoga mat, doing yoga and using yoga as a platform to share my work.

I wrote The Mom Show or The Most Boring Show Ever at first, as a cathartic exercise.  The only thing coming out after having a baby was 'about having a baby'.  It was natural for me to let the words flow from a true and honest place.  I hope all women believe that what they have to share in their evolution into motherhood is valued and has a place in this world.  We need to hear more from them.

Woman. Mother.
Mother. Woman.

For me, they are one.  Intertwined and equally as valuable.  From my womanhood I am mother, and from my mother I am woman.  
 
Learning how to move my body again post birth by using my daily yoga practice was a healing journey.  My identity had been drastically altered and I was adrift with my own spirit and calling.  We'd all like to be those tough women who say "Motherhood didn't change me!"  But it does!  Anyone who says that it doesn't either has never had a child, been parents for years and blocked that stage of life out, or are trying to sell you something. 

Yoga is the ultimate mind, body, spirit workout.  By practicing it everyday that first month after my daughter was born I was giving myself permission to connect with my breath, my heartbeat, my true core questions and thoughts.  

So when I sat down with all of my thoughts on Mother. Woman.  Woman. Mother.  And began to edit each draft, I was seeing how clearly it all ebbed and flowed.  I could feel the inhale and the exhale in my words and the most natural thing in that moment was to pair them with yoga.

I chose yoga because it doesn't hide the truth about you.  If you are anxious or unsettled it shows, if you are strong and confident, it also shows.  There is a raw and deeply spiritual physical representation of oneself when you move your body and this is why I chose Yoga to be the platform for a one woman show about womanhood and motherhood intertwined.

Attending the  New Waves Workshop Series by Women In Film and Television Atlantic has been an empowering and enriching experience so far.  There are many notes from these classes stowed in a corner of my desk waiting for a more relaxing day in the summer to ponder and make intentional plans with.  Tips, tricks, quippy quotes... amazing things happen when you put creative women around a table and are vulnerable with each others need to learn more.

One of these nights we were able to play around with a tool for Stop Motion Video.  It seemed fitting that I apply it to my upcoming show.

THE MOM SHOW YOGA FLOW
1313 Hollis Street, Halifax. N.S.
10:30am
30 Min One Woman Show
45 Min Yoga Flow
 

Over the past month I made the whimsical decision to try to capture my words on Instagram with these little square note papers I have in my desk.  In truth, I don't have many left and maybe that is what makes them precious.  Over the past six years I have been using them around the house to write down words I have heard or read that motivate, inspire, empower and are insightful to me.

These squares are different.  These are my own words.  Maybe it was the fact that one of my dearest suggested I should start capturing my words in this way, or maybe it was that not many of these white squares are left.  Either way... it's turned into a project of sorts and I am proud of it.
Each square has a reason for being written and they insight joy and light in me.

WORDS on WHITE has evolved and continues to evolve and I wanted to share it with you this week.

What will the next square be?
 

This Spring the Mom Show is rolling out it's mat to collaborate with Lindsay Umlah to provide "The Mom Show & Yoga Flow".  We're excited to see how this 30 minute comedic show along with a 45 Minute flow will empower, enrich and bring light to mamas, women and anyone wanting to support them.  

FROM THE FACEBOOK EVENT PAGE & EVENTBRITE:

'Amy will be performing The Mom Show or The Most Boring Show Ever, her empowering and comedic take and journey through new motherhood from prenatal to postpartum. Using yoga as a platform, along with comedic honesty, Amy performs the journey of a woman becoming mother in todays society and aims to empower by delving into self care, self worth and what it means to see oneself as whole and worthy. The Mom Show isn't just for moms. It's for anyone wanting to take back their worth and have a laugh while doing it. 

Lindsay will follow up Amy’s performance with an enriching and inspiring yoga flow helping you deeply connect to the message of empowerment and worth strung throughout Amy’s performance. We’ll flow, laugh, and reconnect to our power by moving our bodies with breath. All bodies and levels are welcome, as this is an opportunity to dive in, explore and reconnect to your power and strength by showing up with curiosity and openness. 

This workshop is perfect whether you’re a new mom, expecting mama, or someone who enjoys a good laugh and an opportunity to be empowered and inspired by the fierceness that is woman. You can rest assured that whatever stage of life you’re in, if you show up, you will leave feeling empowered, inspired and a little more connected to your fierce and fabulous self.

We look forward to seeing you on your mat.'
 

Being accepted into the New Waves Program gave the opportunity to attend the Women Making Waves Conference.  Utterly inspiring.

This week I'll be joining eight other women in a five class workshop series through 'Women in Film and Television Atlantic' over the next five weeks.  I feel more than honoured to be chosen for this program and I am inspired to be standing alongside other women in the performing arts industry.

It's humbling to be in a position of learning. In any program here are five things to remember:

1) You Earned It.

It is easy to fall into doubt and comparison when in a position of growth.  It's important to remember that when you have gotten an opportunity to be involved with anything, there was something you did to get you there.  You earned it.  I'll be remembering that I have a seat at this table.  I deserve to sit with these women and learn about writing, directing and editing for film and television and my résumé proves that. 

2) Create space.  

When in a position of learning, learn.  Be open to letting it all in and  sift through it later.  Truthfully, I am not sure how these new skills / knowledge will influence my work.  I know that I want them and I know that this could just be the tip of the iceberg for me. What is important is to create space in your spirit and mind to take it all in.  This is your opportunity to learn something. 

3) See the Beauty.  

Learning is a process and it can be scary, but it can also be incredibly amazing.  I remember being a student in an eight month theatre program and being in complete awe of the atmosphere I was in, let alone the teaching I was being given.  Tall windows looked over the one of citys' main streets and mirrors lined one wall.  Eleven other people sat in various forms of stretching as we warmed up our bodies for a class in acting.  It was beautiful to me,  The whole thing.  Be aware that this process is beautiful. 

4) Be Present.  

Where do I go from here?  That is the hovering question.  You need to let it rest and percolate.  Applying what one learns will happen in it's time.  What is important is to be present in the learning and present in the being.  A watched pot never boils. 

5) Document

As soon as one can, document what you have expierenced/learned/walked away feeling thinking. Capturing these thoughts and processes in the moment is priceless.  To be able to look back even at a month and realize growth, awareness and clarity of questions.  It is an integral part of any process.  Documenting can be stream of consiousness, via a journal, scraps of paper in the written word.  It can be a video diary, a Blog, a Vlog.  Sketches, photos captured, any form of documentation will be incredibly valuable of this time. 

Lastly

Take yourself seriously and don't take yourself seriously.

Which means,

Honour your value and humble your ego.

In case you missed it...

I am thrilled to announce I will be joining 'The Atlantic Fringe Festival' (September 1st - September 11th 2016) for the second time with a brand new show.  

The Mom Show: Or The Most Boring Show Ever, is the result of the last two years with all of the changes I have personally come to as a woman who desires to maintain individuality, work and authenticity while being a new mother.  With humour alongside raw honesty this show takes place on a single yoga mat and from 'Sukhasana' to 'Shavasana' uncovers the complexities of being a new mom of this generation of mothers. 

Following this post we will be in the process of creating a Facebook Page, Twitter & Instagram to spread the word and also bring you along in the process it takes to take a play from it's early stages to the literal stages.

Currently we are searching for 

1. A director.

2. Sponsers

3. Yoga Instructor Consultants

4. Ushers

Send an email on the contact page to apply/inquire

In creative joy to be working with you again,

Amy Grace | Playwright, Producer, Actor

Limitless | Giving Key 

In the past year, I have had to find myself.  Not because I felt I had changed, or I felt any different but because I felt lost in what the world saw me as. 

Becoming pregnant was the day I lost Amy.  

Amy became, the pregnant one, the new mom, the 'fill-in-the-blank' whatever preconceived notion you have about what it means to have your first child.  I did my best to ignore the endless streams of assumptions, judgements, and ignorance but ultimately my sense of self paid a price.  I became pregnant, had a baby and now...this is how 'you' define me.

Mother to your grandchild, mother to the cute baby in the stroller, mother to your niece...

Mama I am.  And so much more.

Amy never stopped being Amy.  In fact, Amy is still writing words at her desk, intoxicated by music and studiously honing her craft of word, song and dance.  

I told this to my dearest friend and her response.

"As you should, your options are limitless."  

And that has resonated with me.  

27 isn't about proving anything to you that I am more than just a mama.  Because that will happen naturally.  You will see that as I go and no matter how devalued I have felt I am thriving in this deep lovely limitless life.

She turned One.  

One year of learning this vibrant intensely expressive little girl.  One year of being made new as a family.  One year of firsts under her wings.  One year of discovery and adventures.  One year of building relationships with herself, others and the world around her.  One year made better because her life has shot into our orbit and made us spin for days.  

One is not the loneliest number.  One is a notch in a timeline, a success, a chapter and a memory to keep.  One is special, precious and utterable kissable.

One is ready to toddle and waddle.  One is ready to clap and curl up in laps.  One is ready to explore and eat more.  One is ready to play loud and stand proud.

One is wee and still needing to be guarded.  One is impressionable and learning how to handle.  One is sensitive and figuring out boundaries.  One is a bear cub ready to play yet quick to run away.  One is a little bunny hopping and skipping yet fast to jitters.  One is a puppy dog all wild and spry yet ready to snuggle in tender arms.  

One is here, just for this year.  

The air is different and the sun is warmer.  There is a quickening in the beat of my heart that happens this time of year.  It's a knowing that around the bend there will be something that will take my breath away.  

Spring does this to me.  I get all frisky, jittery, hyper, feverish and completely strung out for living.

So I'll let you in on a few things that are making me mad for life.  

1.  A Deadline.

There is a rush of adrenaline that comes when a deadline is nipping at your heels.  Will it devour me before I reach the finish line? or maybe if I just push a bit further I might just make it.  And the thrill of knowing that the deadline is nipping at my heels only because I choose it to be.  Maybe I'll let it pass...maybe I won't.  Only it and I know how this story ends. 

2.  A Podcast.

There has been a burning happening in the depths of mine and another womans heart.  We have been seriously digging in all the rubble of life, art and love and carefully planning a podcast.  The launch date is still unknown, but we have been tending to this gem carefully and making sure we collaborate in ways that brings quality.  This has me on my tippy toes and near tears of joy.

3.  All the ladies.

I love women.  I am a complete feminist and love it when a woman rises strong amidst the rubble.  We were made to be strong warriors.  It's not a mistake that we are tasked with bringing forth new life.  Men are not built for that kind of stamina.  I have women who filter in and out of my everyday life who are beacons of warriors in heels, in shoes made for men, in  barefeet and in old socks.  I love their bodies, their minds and the way our laughter rings out in the night air.

And Spring days have a way of unfolding like a flower... here are a few I am all ants in my pants about:

1. Zoës first birthday.

Her first year of life has been a roller coaster of growth, change and events for all of us.  Celebrating this little golden arrows first birthday takes my breath away at the thought.

2. Mama & Zoës first road trip.

While Daddys away the girls will play.  We are making the most of the time alone together while Daddy is away this season and have planned many adventures to keep us loving and living life to the fullest.  

3. Les Miserables - A Choir Fundraiser

I joined a spectacular ensemble at Bedford Baptist to raise money for Syrian Refugees.  After almost two years off the 'theatrical' stage this thrills me to no end.  I leave rehearsals with goosebumps every time and cannot wait to spend a day performing these beautiful songs. 

Dearest Creatives everywhere,

I see potential in you.  I see you with your pocket full of creativity and I have a hard time containing myself.  I believe that everyone has a pocket of creativity and I believe it is those of us who dare to take what is in our pockets, look at what was inside, blow on it into the world who will flourish.

It is not about wether you can paint, write, draw, dance or sing.  Those are the words we have tagged on to a creative act, yes, but that leaves out other words.  There are words like, home, organize, engineer, lawyer, fashion, and cook.  These are also creative acts.  In fact, look at your life.  Your life is a creative act.  Because your life is making something.

So this 2016, I am taking a simple concept of what started as a group of women who met up once a month to share good food, wine and conversation about their creative questions, theories, work and more and I am blowing on it as if it was glitter in my hand.  

The Creatives is now not just a meet up, but a concept for a way of life.  This year I will be offering:

• Monthly Meet Ups: A monthly gathering of creative minded women to meet, listen and share. 
• A Book Club: A monthly book club meeting based on living creatively.  (4 books over the course of the year.)
• Seasonal Workshops: Four workshops led by creative and inspirational women. 
• A Retreat: Info TBA (Mid to late 2016)

And 

• Creative Mentoring Services: A four-step one-on-one program for those who want to boost their creative discovery, life and visions.

The Creatives started small, has grown, became small again, changed and evolved.  The size is not the point.  The point is for us to take what sparkle of creativity we have in our pockets and blow on it.  Give it the chance to catch a breeze and watch it land in a new and exciting location.

Join with me in the chrysalids of "The Creatives".

Amy Grace

Nicole Payzant Photography

The first six months:

New little family.  New little home.

Being parents to this little fire cracker is the biggest blessing and honour.  

We knew it was going to change us better and new, but we didn't realize how much we would change.  She has changed us.  

Her spirit upon conception filled me.  I felt her before I knew of her.   As her movements became normal to me, I took her in and felt her rythm and pace.  She was her own beat and I knew that this daughter was going to come out different, new and wonder-filled. 

I prayed then, and we pray now as we zip her into her sleep sac, wrap her up in her favourite yellow blanket, kiss her and pass her her beloved 'purple guy' which she grabs and pulls his blanket body over her face. 

"We pray you have a strong voice, an ability to discern and a strong sense of self."

So we parent this daughter who howls at any amount of disgruntlement, keeps eyes wide open for the world around her, and who leaves us amazed at what she is affected by.

It is she who is teaching us.

We are learning daily what it means to be present and aware.  We are aiming to not just suggest a healthy lifestyle, but to model it.  To model it, we have to be disciplined and determined of our own lives. 

Raising her is already days full of laughter, cries and outbursts of singing.  We are blessed beyond belief with her presence and we can only pray and continue to stubbornly demonstrate the life we want her to know.

What we have learned so far is that parenthood is not about you or about us.  Parenthood is about each unique spirit that is placed in the parents hands to raise up in a way that matches the unit that is created.  It is a her, him and I type of journey.  Each child is unique and each little family different.  

May we honour this journey and never take the blessing of her life for granted.