2022 | What Holding & Honouring Space is Teaching Me
I started 2022 out with the word Space as my One word. I have been carrying with me these words to go along with them:
How am I expanding into S P A C E today?
Expand into
Fill Up
Hold
Make
Create
S P A C E
I started the year feeling more empowered to make daring moves. To claim the space, I was seeing before me. It wasn't easy, it was scary, and I continued applying, pitching and finding little wins along the way.
Then I was hit.
Self-doubt.
You see,
Despite a deep belief in a calling that calls me to hold space for others, ask them deep and inspiring questions, capture them and find a way to showcase what I see about the world around me, I also recognize I came into all of this unconventionally.
It wasn't until I made my most daring and scary move thus far in my creative / documentary career yet at the end of May that I realized I was putting myself out there in a way that scared me.
And then S P A C E, meant a totally different thing.
Space became a challenge to remember how to hold space for me when no one else is around to hold me.
When the quiet rages, the lack of response, recognition, and relational interactions persist.
What does it look like to hold space for me?
It has led me back to me.
We believe that we hustle to success.
That we become millionaires from building something from the ground up and never stopping.
We believe that we are the makers of our own designs.
We forget that we are the souls that need our whole selves, not just portions we leave on the shelf because they are too weighty to carry.
I continue to strive to fill up, hold, make and create space that honours myself and those around me, and that may mean that I won't see the bigger picture until much later, but I will not become less of myself in the process. I will not shelf my healing until later, and I will not lose relationships that matter along the way.
I will honour the whole process, not just the portions that look like success. I will also honour the quiet and most mundane and lonely moments.