Heart dropping to the pit of my stomach mid-conversation
Their words felt like shards of glass

Rise of anxiety attack symptoms
Sore Tongue, tingling hands, heart beating while trying to sleep

Patterns / Cycles
I could see patterns repeat themselves

Retreating
Only wanting my safe people

Dysregulation
Overwhelm even when at rest

Distrust
I didn’t feel safe even before I arrived

Distraction Deep Dives
I’d rather be ruminating in the latest world happening

Searching for outside support
Therapist / Counselor dreaming / hunting

They were telling me what I should think
I knew it was my story to process

Professional Confirmation / Affirmations
Finding out my deepest wounds have names.

How I realized it was time to heal… was written out of response to the long journey of seeking and finding a therapist/counsellor that not only could hold space for my specific life and faith but also call out and help me put names to all that has held me, hostage. 

Having a family doctor who helped me identify my generalized anxiety, I was empowered to start the journey to get to the root of where it began. Digging up the roots of childhood wounds, generational trauma, and a spider web of undiagnosed mental health disorders within my family tree is work but work worth doing. 
I am not interested in the blame game, but I am interested in the healing game - and I’ll spend this decade of my life working towards understanding myself and the environment that made me better.

None of us are immune to childhood wounds, trauma and life happenings. To be human is to bleed, and it is also human to seek healing.  Physically, spiritually and mentally.

I Never Promised I Would Stay Quiet About It… is a series of revelations, observations and citations on the topics and concepts often considered taboo.