expectation | ˌekˌspekˈtāSH(ə)n | noun a strong belief that something will happen or be the case in the future: reality had not lived up to expectations | there is the expectation that some individuals will do better in the program than others | he drilled his men in expectation of a Prussian advance. • a belief that someone will or should achieve something: students had high expectations for their future. • (expectations) archaic one's prospects of inheritance.

scarcity | ˈskersədē | noun (plural scarcities) the state of being scarce or in short supply; shortage: a time of scarcity | the growing scarcity of resources.Last Year I made an active decision to step back from my own perception of ‘expectations’.

A year ago

I began letting go of the expectations and uncovering the root of scarcity as a belief system. Be it perceived expectations by myself or real expectations from outside myself; I had been carrying a weight I identified would not allow me to grow further.

I have been actively letting go of:

• Being the sole organizer and leader for family and friendships.

• The belief system in the traditional path into media and creative writing is the only true path.

• Our small family and personal life choices will match those we interact with.

• The belief in exactly who would/will be in my corner when the chips were down, and real life was crashing in.

• Our ability to enjoy ourselves is limited.

• Certainty.

Since actively working daily on letting go of expectations from myself and society/others, I have realized that so much of my pain is self-induced and has also been permitted by me.

I am actively embracing:

• Engaging in in-depth and connective family and friendships that go deep.

• Sinking into a documentary journalism career that I love, am excellent at and continue to thrive and grow in.

• Celebrating our unique choices and options as a small family to engage with each other and the world around us.

• Enjoying deepening the small collective of friends, family and colleagues who continue to show up for me/us.

• Identifying the trauma and roots of scarcity within my family and society.

• Looking ahead to the future with curiosity and wonder rather than with fear and scarcity.

Releasing expectations and rejecting scarcity is not a practice I will be automatically able to step away from. This is a practice I will have to remain mindful of and continue the self-reflective work to find the roots of fear and continue pulling them out one at a time.

Onwards,