Have you ever considered that the best of you has yet to be discovered?

We like to think that we can dress ourselves up with our experiences, education and accolades.

That who we are is the sum of our success and ability to dust ourselves off after a string of errors and mischief.

That we possibly can just forge ahead and put the mess of our past behind us.

No burial service, no atonement, no rectification.

Just walking away from the mess and letting the scabs form where they are as we stagger on.

If this is you dear one, then I must urge you… sit down. You are leaving bodies in your wake, and the next one might be yours.

Here’s the thing,

We humans have so much to learn from the digging into our failures, our past and our wounds.

We will repeat what we don’t heal and we will find a new way to ripple affect the damage we haven’t dealt with.

Success is not how many times you are able to walk away from failure and press on.

Success is found within the healing process. How deep you go to find the cause of the wounds of your past and how you carve out time and space for new and more healing ways to continue on.

We like to act like we are above brokenness. That our ability to damage ourselves and others along the way by our own inability to see the next bump in the road is just a simple accident, but the truth is,

without your own self reflection, healing and ability to see that you are just as faulty as the next broken and lonely soul…

you will always pass judgement and assume to know the depths of another person’s pain.

You will continue to walk away from the messes you make, shrug your shoulders and suggest that there is nothing more you can do.

But there is.

Always.

More healing to be found in the cracks of you.

And maybe,

just maybe,

working on healing your own broken pieces will create the safe place for new healing somewhere else instead of the shards you leave in your wake that people will walk on.

As I take on more work and find ways to adapt to the various projects at my desk, I have found the need to practice wellness in my professional life.

This isn’t a call of selfishness. This is a call for excellence.

Over the course of the year, as I have been pursuing excellence, I have realized that it doesn’t come from the work that is perfect.

Excellence comes from the person who has taken great care and thought in the work they do, to make the time and space for it.

This means, not taking on what you cannot follow through on.

It means giving oneself creative space to play and interact with new ideas and not taking the whims too seriously.

It means, that when committing to something of a professional nature, making sure that how you take it on, not only honours you and your work practice, but also the practice of those you will be working with.

The beauty of it all?

Is that the excellence happens while you are following through with these things. It’s not an over night success that speaks volumes. It is the daily , weekly, monthly and yearly care one takes to reassess and find new ways to better honour the work in which they are called to do.

That bit of truth here is:

Wellness has it’s place not only in the personal but also in the professional.

Coming out of our first of a few planned small vacations / staycations I have been refreshed.

I stumbled onto a moment that triggered me to remember a moment almost four years back.  I took a moment to sit down on my regular walk in a little alcove that always seems a bit too magical for the everyday routine.  

As I sat down and looked around me I was reminded of the day that created me to write this: 
 "Wellness Wednesday: Captivation"

"Open your eyes today, this week, this month.  Keep ready for a moment that captivates you, and sink into it.  Sink deep into the waters of your spirit.  Listen to it.  What is the whisper that tries so hard to cry out?"

It is so easy to let the pressures of what we want to see happen, what you thought would happen, what you dream of and how it turns out differently, or even when you are left with nothing to hold on to be the filter in which we perceive our lives. 

Yet when I look at this moment that happened years ago and what I know of now, what I didn't know then.  What I have now, what I didn't have then.  What I lost, what I gained... it all is a captivating and arresting truth...

So I am going into this Summer with my eyes open, personally and especially professionally at what captivates me.  Taking those truths and moving them forward one small action at a time. 

My real work is to stay open to the journey and keep my eyes open to what is around me. 

Attentive. 

What captivates me today?

Deep conversations with creative women.

Raw and exciting story telling with authentic humour that leaks out of it.  

Trying new ideas and learning along the way. 

"Do it when you're ready." 

Simple words sent in an email.  

Simple.  

Empowering.

This isn't a few words on 'self-care'.

This is just a simple quiet moment recognizing that maybe it's not that simple.

Maybe, 
a few more intimate conversations with people who want to hold you.
a few more lonely days working through the pain.
a few more empty conversations of meaningless pleasantries.
a few more journal entries.
a few more deep breathes.
a few more rallying nights wrestling with deep thoughts.

To get to where you need to be.

To do what you need to do.

To say what you need to say.

To be who you need to become.

because the simple truth has always been:

Everything within it's own time.
 

Heres the dang honest truth!

I don't know what I am doing until I am doing it.
Showing up for 'the work' is often how I find out what 'it' is.
If binging on Netflix made me happy for long periods of time, I would do that instead. 

With that in mind, now you need to know:

Making work that is collaborative, insights discussion, and creates vulnerability is my happy place and motivation.  I will do anything to keep on that track.  In fact, when I am not on that track I am miserable.  I get anxious, unhappy, fidgety and restless and destructive.

Thats what you need to know about yourself.  What is your true motivation for anything?  Once you tap into that, aligning your life and decisions with your motivations will create an amazing burst of energy.

Self - awareness is motivations best counsellor.  You can know all there is to know about something, but if you aren't self aware enough to take a step back and see what is taking away your motivation to be enjoying, doing, creating... then you miss out on that boost to go farther.

For me?  I just work on showing up everyday for that time that I have been given.  On a good day, I don't overthink it or get caught up in the "who the heck do I think I am concept."  I just show up and do.  There will always be a little person on your shoulder trying to whisper in your ear that nothing you do is going to create a difference.  Our job isn't to live without that little person, but to acknowledge it's presence and that everyone has one.  Every single person in this world lives with that self-doubt and when we recognize that humanity, we recognize how silly it is to get caught up in our own importance, our own ego and self-bigness.

You are called to show up to what you feel you are called and led to do.  That is it.  Show up, and maintain enough self-awareness that reminds you of your calling and that no matter what part you are playing it is an important part.  

And if you happen to look over your shoulder after a while and see how far you've travelled, do yourself a favour:  acknowledge it, give thanks for it, and then get back to work.