Coming out of our first of a few planned small vacations / staycations I have been refreshed.

I stumbled onto a moment that triggered me to remember a moment almost four years back.  I took a moment to sit down on my regular walk in a little alcove that always seems a bit too magical for the everyday routine.  

As I sat down and looked around me I was reminded of the day that created me to write this: 
 "Wellness Wednesday: Captivation"

"Open your eyes today, this week, this month.  Keep ready for a moment that captivates you, and sink into it.  Sink deep into the waters of your spirit.  Listen to it.  What is the whisper that tries so hard to cry out?"

It is so easy to let the pressures of what we want to see happen, what you thought would happen, what you dream of and how it turns out differently, or even when you are left with nothing to hold on to be the filter in which we perceive our lives. 

Yet when I look at this moment that happened years ago and what I know of now, what I didn't know then.  What I have now, what I didn't have then.  What I lost, what I gained... it all is a captivating and arresting truth...

So I am going into this Summer with my eyes open, personally and especially professionally at what captivates me.  Taking those truths and moving them forward one small action at a time. 

My real work is to stay open to the journey and keep my eyes open to what is around me. 

Attentive. 

What captivates me today?

Deep conversations with creative women.

Raw and exciting story telling with authentic humour that leaks out of it.  

Trying new ideas and learning along the way. 

Heres the dang honest truth!

I don't know what I am doing until I am doing it.
Showing up for 'the work' is often how I find out what 'it' is.
If binging on Netflix made me happy for long periods of time, I would do that instead. 

With that in mind, now you need to know:

Making work that is collaborative, insights discussion, and creates vulnerability is my happy place and motivation.  I will do anything to keep on that track.  In fact, when I am not on that track I am miserable.  I get anxious, unhappy, fidgety and restless and destructive.

Thats what you need to know about yourself.  What is your true motivation for anything?  Once you tap into that, aligning your life and decisions with your motivations will create an amazing burst of energy.

Self - awareness is motivations best counsellor.  You can know all there is to know about something, but if you aren't self aware enough to take a step back and see what is taking away your motivation to be enjoying, doing, creating... then you miss out on that boost to go farther.

For me?  I just work on showing up everyday for that time that I have been given.  On a good day, I don't overthink it or get caught up in the "who the heck do I think I am concept."  I just show up and do.  There will always be a little person on your shoulder trying to whisper in your ear that nothing you do is going to create a difference.  Our job isn't to live without that little person, but to acknowledge it's presence and that everyone has one.  Every single person in this world lives with that self-doubt and when we recognize that humanity, we recognize how silly it is to get caught up in our own importance, our own ego and self-bigness.

You are called to show up to what you feel you are called and led to do.  That is it.  Show up, and maintain enough self-awareness that reminds you of your calling and that no matter what part you are playing it is an important part.  

And if you happen to look over your shoulder after a while and see how far you've travelled, do yourself a favour:  acknowledge it, give thanks for it, and then get back to work.