Walking in New York City
This East Coast small city girl of Halifax, Nova Scotia decided that an adventure to New York City after eight months of theatre training was a necessary check mark. After all the classes, dedicated early mornings and learning, I felt I had to see this shiny city that spurs so many artists into action. It was a necessary and exciting journey to take on.
At first, the plans were with friends. Lovely travelers who bring life to everything that they do, and I was excited...and yet, we all felt that this trip, although necessary for me, was not necessary for everyone.
A family traveled instead.
And walking in New York City was not less glamorous then it would have been with my best lady at my side. I felt her presence on my wrist (a key bracelet) as I journeyed the streets she had walked before.
I walked into Central Park as the first day progressed and with wild-city-wonder took in the nature that contrasted with the sudden city around it. Birds were loud as if demanding attention. Music laced with wind this jungle-city-park was full of moments I had to sink into my thoughts and try to find myself within it all. City. Nature. Nature. City.
I walked through Times Square and felt the hype, the drive for more...and yet my heart wasn't truly wanting 'things'. It was wanting 'stories'. Sifting through stores and although easy enough to release money into a cash register to receive clothes I don't usually allow myself, I was not given happiness, nor did I expect it. I knew the purchase of items was not my bag. I have a gift of saving and the gift of spending. I can save for what I need and I can spend for the sheer response of living a life that needs to be lived. Money is not to be glorified but used, as food is to the stomach, In and out, so money should be. The ebb and flow of receiving and using.
I entered "The Strand" and immediately felt at home. Finally, peace and courage within a simple but complex building of rows and rows of books. I could breathe easy here, it was inviting, normal, clean of thoughts...like one could blank slate and think from the start. There was a canvas bag that said it best for me "She has a way with WORDS, red lipstick & making an ENTRANCE. - Kate Spade"....along with four books I took these with me with pride, thinking I had a bit of my own heart to carry back home with me.
Attending a Broadway show...a dream finally realized with the perfect white dress found for such an occasion. Showering luxioursly and taking my time relishing in the preparation. "Phantom of the Opera" was even more than I could ever hope it to be. The Majestic Theatre presented the show with elegance and standard one could only imagine of. All the mysterious phantom characteristics like a thread that pulled the whole opera together in a seductive and spirit stirring show. I could barely breathe when they sung "Think of Me" , "The Phantom of the Opera" , "Past the Point of No Return" and "Down Once More". It was an evening of swoon, seduction, surrender and ended with appetizers wine and amazing conversation.
Then the Zoo with all it's creatures and awaiting secrets of what animals do. It kept the sacredness of wilderness and space and it reminded me of everything that made it. The One who pieces life together for us one part at a time.
I was moved... I was overwhelmed with joy.
And then it hit.
By a city that didn't give me the time to be me. Or rather, the pressures that built to see it all, and taste, feel, expierence it all. I pushed back. No. I need time to write this out, time to go back home and figure out what it was that I was feeling.
It wasn't for lack of desire to expierence or overwhelming of the culture of the city.
The city and the hustle and bustle was a lot less than my expectations, I was met with what I viewed a normal crowded big city.
Something inside me was upset.
Because the big city adventure girl I thought I could be.
I didn't want this.
The lights, the flickering ads, the sights, the pace... it wasn't me.
And yet, I wanted to want it.
Sure, I was everything dazzled, enraptured and loving the dress up nights and the delicious food at every bite, but there was something missing.
The time I needed.
Part of this, the nature of travel, and the other part... the nature of a Halifax girl being exactly that. A Halifax girl...and she loves her city. Her family, her life.
It can be disspointing to realize that everything you thought you wanted was not what you wanted at all.
What you wanted was right in front of you the whole time.
And isn't that the lesson that I find true time and time again.
All that shiny isn't golden.
What is golden is what stays true and real no matter the circumstances.
The real gold is in you.
The real gold is what you naturally do without the push.
I rest the best in my city.
I love short, quick but high risk adventures.
I am a natural east coast girl.