Motivation became a middle name for me. It was the rope that dangled down in the dark places offering a lift out. It was the single solitary coloured balloon that floated in my sky.
Motivation became a way of life, and the more I lived it, the more I lived fully.
Motivation is such an overused word that we often scoff at the notion.
"Heres another Motivational youtube video put together with instrumental music and images of sick children. Another typical "I beat the odds survival video". "
So I guess, I was the cliché-girl who found herself at the end of a heart break and on the beginning of a motivational kick.
And the kick hasn't left. Two years later I aim to consistently spew out motivational words and projects. Because somewhere amidst all that cliche mambo jumbo I found some real stuff.
I found words that weren't just.
"If at first you don't succeed..."
"You can do it."
No, I found brilliant shiny words.
"Love yourself out."
"Blessings can come out of the mistakes."
And so I chew on motivation like a vitamin because I needed it. Still need it.
Weeks of illness and I claim motivation now more than ever. This isn't a time for me to crumble and despair. My life isn't over and my life is so rich and full, that even the weight of sickness cannot stop me. There is nothing more brilliant and sexy than a woman who values herself more than her fears.
And my fears have been at war with motivation.
And motivation wins again and again. Because there is always more words and always more inspiration. But the fear...it cannot become more if I am staring it straight in the eyes and watching its every move.
I am a sniper for fear and I aim well and strong.