The Squad Thing
Of the many goals I set on January 2016, 'finding my squad' was at the top of the list. You know, the #squadgoals that you see on instagram? I was drooling over 'young twenty-something-besties' rocking their 'free-life' with their bare legs in a hot tub, their wild hair flying behind them as they ran into nature. I was scrolling and pumping breast-milk while falling in love with girls I hadn't met. Scrolling and pumping. Pumping and scrolling.
I was not lacking in friends. Truly, I had an abundance... but I was pumping and scrolling now. It changes things. Even just a bit...enough to notice.
Becoming pregnant, having besties move away, becoming the first mama of all my friends created an uncertainty within myself of these friendships.
Here is what I have learned:
1. Becoming a 'mom' does not mean you need mom friends.
Make bonds with those that inspire, thrill and enlighten you. Authentic friendships based on true connection will last a lifetime. Mom friends will come when they come.
2. Your squad is closer than you think.
When you go through tough or life-changing times, your women will arise from the rubble. They won't give you everything you need, but they won't criticize your journey and your current status. They will challenge you, support you and not let you wallow too long.
3. Friendships are all about grace, and if grace isn't there...it's not a true friendship.
Being in committed friendships means we are given freedom to say it like it is and in the same breath also take the other as they are. What has kept a lot of my squad friendships alive has been the 'come as you are' attitude that is also graced with a healthy 'say it like it is'.
I am deeply in love with my women. Each and every one has changed me, lifted me up and brought me into deeper connection with God, my spirit and the ground beneath me.
Know your squad, and if you don't... watch who comes into the rubble with you. They are the golden ones.
In alphabetical order, because there is no real order | Beth | Christie | Gillian | Heidi | Jasmine | Nicole | Tasia