Stephanie Hayes - Clark is Salon owner and Hair Stylist of Urban Hair and was introduced to me by my dearest friend Jasmine.  Not only do I absolutely love the atmosphere of Urban Hair, I love Stephanies presence and genuine heart.  No matter where I am at, Stephanie has a way of creating space for connecting and being oneself.  

How would you describe yourself?

I'm an optimist ... that's all I can say, every day , all day, I find good in everything. Being anything but is just a waste of time and energy. Life is to short not to be. Don't get me wrong I do have my cranky days, but they don't last long!

What role does creativity play in your life?

I would not be where I am today if I wasn't creative. My job and business depend on me being creative. Being a hair stylist allows me to channel my artistic side through every client that I do whether It be a simple haircut to a total transformation. Being able to make someone beautiful and make them smile , is how I've learned to grow into the self confident woman I am today.

What are you currently working on?

Well my life is about to change drastically . My only daughter is graduating high school and moving away to go to college, so right now I'm working on not crying everyday ( just kidding). I watch a lot of webinars which help me learn and they offer me inspiration into my business. Right now I'm concentrating on helping my daughter prepare for a new chapter in her life and my life. It's a learning experience for both of us!

What was the last book/movie/podcast etc. that left an impression on you?

The Shack!!! I'm not a very religious person but this movie /book touched my heart in so many ways. To see how the character is so withdrawn and full of hate and then is guided by this woman to see the real meaning of his life and how a tragedy can bring such a transformation is beyond inspirational.

What advice would you give to other creatively driven people?

Stay focused and stay on the path that you want to be on. Don't let anyone sway you from where you want to be in life. Learn from your mistakes, make frequent goals for yourself and learn how to achieve them. Don't be afraid to ask For help, but remember they are your goals and only you can turn them into reality ! Oh and one more thing , take pride in what you do, learn to be self confident and never give up on your journey through life.

Top Left - Clockwise: Second hand shirt - from bestie, Darling Magazine Issue #19 - Darling Magazine, White Yoga T - Bavhana Yoga Boutique Halifax, Black pants - H&M, Lace sleeve shirt - Amazon, WE: A Manifesto for Women Everywhere - Indigo , Home is Where the Anchor Drops Pyjama set - La Vie En Rose, Homemade Painted Succulent planter by Nicole Payzant and my daughter, Giving Key : Claim - The Giving Keys, Jean Shorts - Bluenotes, Heels - Call it Spring, Striped long sleeve - Pseudio, 3 sockets - Psuedio, Felt Hat - Indigo

As the season began I realized I needed a few practical items. A long sleeve shirt for the chill that still hung in the air, a light weekend pyjama set that was warm but cool enough for the changing temperatures, and finally, a pair of black heels that I can truly wear and use.  Every woman who wants to add that touch of heels should have a black pair.   Although I do own a pair of black heels they are what theatre would call "Character Shoes".  My character shoes are thicker, with a strap and are perfect for performances but not the type of heels I want to throw on for a classy night downtown.  These new heels are the perfect size for me.  They are not very tall but still add a kick of 'sass and sexy' to my dark jeans or dresses.

Coral has begun to creep into my wardrobe and I am enjoying that pop of colour when I desire to stand out a bit more. 

What isn't pictured here is 4 other sweaters that I have out year round along with 2 pairs of jeans (light and dark), tank tops for wearing underneath shirts and a few other t-shirts that tend to stick around from season to season.  

What I am loving the most lately about my capsule wardrobes is that with every season change I am seeing my needs lesson as I purchase items carefully and complete enjoyment with the clothes that I do wear.  Nothing makes a woman feel more of herself than a well curated wardrobe.  

In this video I share about what items from my closet won't be making the June - September cut. Halifax. Nova Scotia has temps of -20s in the Winter and +30 degrees C in the Summer. Although we fluctuate often in warm and cool, we need various clothing items to match our seasons.

This Summer I am minimizing distractions and focusing in on two specific projects.  This means a lot of time at my desk and a lot of time learning formatting programs and editing skills.  

Both of these projects are women centred and focus on highlighting women through story, history and project creation.

I will be updating on my progress here and starting in July, monthly newsletters.

I am aiming to develop two specific pieces that bring multi-dimensional women to the spotlight and in one project specifically, to give a voice to how personality stereotypes limit our understanding of ourselves and others.  

Women supporting women isn't just a hashtag, it's a force to be reckoned with and I hope that as I bring life to these two pieces I will be able to align this work and myself with women who will breathe life into it and me.  

Heres to the ones who dream.  

No longer teenagers spending a Friday night together, we are adults with careers, a child, two families, a loft condo and all the complexities that those life changes bring. 

We are each others everyday rhythms.  Weaving in and out of lists, expectations and events.  
How do we find each other within the calendar outside of the dailys?

We aim for twice a month.  A bi -weekly affair.  Sometimes its simple, sometimes its extravagant.  

This Spring some of our dates have been:

- Going to the cinema to see Wonder Woman
- Driving to Mahone Bay and walking along Queensland Beach
- An impromptu Lunch at Finbars for Burgers and Beer
- A Breakfast at Portland Street Creperie  

At home, we squeeze in little moments daily.  Nightly showers together before bed.  A TV show we are enjoying together, making dinner with wine and music on... anything to set the ambience and mood for passion and desire to linger with us as we do 'the normal'.

For us, its not about anything out of the ordinary, but those moments that tie us together closer.  
 

In this video I tell my best friend about what shirts I have in my Spring Capsule Wardrobe

I mention
MODCLOTH
PSEUDIO
H&M

In the world of female creative entrepreneurs it can be hard to find and create an atmosphere for coming together in work.  Be it working in different mediums, being in different life stages or how many projects each are balancing.  The struggle is often finding a way to create a space to honour each others work and skills in a productive manner.

I am in the process of learning how to embrace and honour the women around me whom I have fallen into, chosen to and seek out work relationships with.

Honour and grace are two themes I feel have taken root into my heart for these relationships.  I want to honour the skill set of these women.  I want to pass grace when I feel misunderstood or I have mis-stepped.  I want to enter into partnerships that are about depth, growth, building each other up and giving insight into the work we do on a creative and inspiring level.  

It can be a scary journey.  To begin to align yourself with others and combine your skills to make something collaborative or even just to support each others work, but I think thats where the real stuff lies.  Building each other up and not feeling intimidated by the intelligence and creativity of another.  That we all have room at the table together.  

Spring has kept me on my toes and amidst the weeks that have flown by I have found these items have brought joy into my life.  
Clockwise from Middle.

1. Darling Magazine Issue #19. - A gift from best friend Jasmine Alexander.  She knows how much I adore creatively driven work and this magazine does creative women to a whole new level.  

2. WE : A Manifesto for Women Everywhere by Gillian Anderson and Jennifer Nadel -  I purchased this book to read over the Spring months.  It is a beautiful ode to what the elements of living an intentional whole life would look like for any person.  It also specifies  what it means to also carry womanhood along with these values and is a perfect way to drive home how important values of 'honesty, kindness, grace etc' in life and with each other as women.  I will re-read this when I need a boost.

3. Succulent in Mini Planter  - The planter painted by my Best Friend Nicole Payzant and daughter Zoë for my birthday.  It was such a touching item to receive and filled me with joy to know that they both enjoy time together doing various activities.  The succulent is a perfect addition to my spring decor. 

4. White Life Factory Water Bottle - I had a light blue bottle that broke when I dropped it without the lid attached.  They have since come out with many designs and sizes, but I realized that white is just fine for me.  I adore this brand, due to the glass (I don't like metal made bottles that leave an aftertaste of the metal) , and shape.

5. Sephora Face Sheet Masks - A gift from my husband and daughter on Mothers Day.   These masks are fun and good to have around when I feel my skin needs a bit of self care.

6. Essie Nail Polish  - A new shade for every season is a fun thing to look forward to.

7. Fiction by L.A. Eyeworks Eye Glasses - As a first time eye glass wearer I didn't know what to think, but not that I have these I realize how blurred my vision had become for long distance and TV screens.  I love how this pair makes me feel more of myself.  I don't feel different.  Just more of me. 

8.  LA LA LAND Film - Growing up I loved collecting movies.  It's hard in a culture where media is becoming more and more stored electronically to collect copies.  I made the decision as I embraced a more minimalist/intentional life that I would commit to buying and collecting musicals.  Musicals are not only a childhood enjoyment for me, but my favourite art form.  Having a copy of a musical fills me with joy.  

This video is on the pyjamas that Zoë and I bought for this Spring.  Zoës love for whales continues and I couldn't help but follow suit with the coastal theme. Like daughter, like mother. 

PAST BLOG POSTS ON TODDLER WARDROBE

WINTER 2017
AUTUMN 2016
SUMMER 2016

"WRITERS ARE DANGEROUS PEOPLE
Never take a writer for granted.
They are snipers armed with words.
They know how to aim with sentences.
How to fire with paragraphs, and
how to immortalize their kills in verse."
- Nakita Gill

I am heading into a summer of writing and spending a lot of time in here.  

Currently, I am getting it ready so that my focus can be maintained in this space.  Minimizing clutter, reviewing notes and making sure that even the candle I light is exactly the type of scent that will inspire me.  

These may seem like simple silly things, but I am an atmospheric writer.  I write best when I set the stage.  Past posters of two of my plays above me to remind me that I have done a thing or two, pictures of two women who have seen me through the worst and the best, an ampersand ornamental to remind me that there is always more to come and a fluffy mat for my bare feet in the early morning or evening.

For my deep and fun loving toddler, I have an Ikea table and chairs, with various creative elements and toys at her disposal.  The IKEA cart with various supplies 'crayons, play dough, paints, colouring books, etc).  Daily we come in here and practice what it means to give your creative self a ponder.  

Next time, I will show you my desk at a closer look when I have the appropriate camera to capture it.  For now, this will do. 

Gallery wall in living room.

We used starting a family as a catalyst into analyzing our own excessiveness.  As we have progressed over the past two years we have found that a few things for us will always remain true.

We value quality over quantity in every aspect of our lives.

We often regret impulse buys or decisions.   We've never regretted taking our time.

We value fresh air, good food, in-depth story telling, a spacious atmosphere and quality time with those we love.

When we focus more on our values and less on what we can show off of our lives, we have realized that we are able to truly be enjoying and at peace with the lives we lead. 

Your values and life goals may be different than ours and that is okay.   Honouring those values and goals is a sure way to find direction, peace and insight into the life that will bring you stability.  

*Other lifestyle priorities - capsule wardrobes, buying local, reading books, family time, healthy eating, walking and bed time routines.

This video was made for my Best Friend to share with her my new Giving Key and why I chose the word "Claim".

You can Get a Giving Key and find out about their work here

GIVING KEY POSTS FROM THE PAST

2016

2015

2014

I first met Annika while we were co-teaching theatre to a group of children through Neptune Theatre.  We crossed paths again during Women in Film & Television - Atlantic New Waves workshop series.  Annika has always struck me with her insightful questions, presence and depth.  She has a wicked sense of humour that is complimented with a beautiful tenderness.

How would you describe yourself?

I have two speeds. Total neat freak or complete slob; health obsessed or sitting around for days eating nachos; that kind of thing. I've rarely been in a happy medium between the two and that's something I'm trying to work on. 

What role does creativity play in your life?

I believe that as humans, creativity is our life blood. I can't imagine a world in which I can't play and that is what creativity is; it's playing, it's exploring, it's discovering. All of these elements are important as an actor, to allow yourself to be vulnerable and let your imagination run free. 

What are you currently working on?

After being an on again/off again actor for the past several years I have decided to give it 100 percent and see what happens. It's been thrilling, yet so grounding to feel this renewed sense of focus and self-awareness that I don't think I've ever felt quite as strongly in my whole life. It's so exciting to see this part of myself and I'm looking forward to seeing where it takes me.

What was the last book/movie/podcast that left an impression on you?

The Girls by Emma Cline. It's a thinly veiled fictional retelling of the Manson Family from the perspective of a young girl, Evie, who is welcomed into the inner circle. It's beautifully written and though I have no personal experience with cults of any kind, Evie's tale is incredibly relatable to any woman who was ever been a teenager. Cline articulates Evie's experiences and emotions in a way that adds depth to an otherwise trivialized time in a woman's life. Would recommend to all.

What advice would you give to other creatively driven people?

Try, try, try and suck. This has been a tough one for me to learn and I still struggle with it daily. To start writing the answers to these questions I had to stop censoring myself before I even began to type! When I remember that I don't have to be spectacular when performing, I just have to do my best, it really takes the pressure off. I've heard it so many times, perfectionism kills creativity. When we put these crazy, unrealistic expectations on ourselves to be something that really nobody is, it doesn't allow for the wonderful, unexpected discoveries that we can make about ourselves and our art.

Once you get to 'Two Years Old', experiences become not just a moment in time, but a tangible experience that you get to turn over and over again.  Like a smooth rock in your hand, you let the experience rest inside you.  Pondering its shape, texture, edges and feelings.  

This is what thrills me about the new stage we are in.  We get to curate, cultivate and choose moments for each other.  

We've created little moments as we go and now we are getting into new things.

This time:

Our provincial wildlife park.  A place to celebrate local and national wildlife while supporting the rehibiltation of those injured, and in the some cases, give them a perminate home after being badly injured.  While many of these animals have been born into captivity from zoological institutions around North America, what we love about this park is how it enforces to the public that these are animals we are to learn about, respect, rehabilitate and give the appropriate habitats to.  

Introducing Zoë  to and reminding ourselves, how important our wildlife is, the responsibility that we have to conserve their habitats, their safety and their future is a beautiful experience and one we want to continue exploring.   

This was a fun way to spend our Victoria Day and one we'll be revisiting as we grow.

*Special moments: 
Seeing a Canadian Goose all wrapped up.  Maybe warming a nest or just sleeping.  Either way, just as majestic as if it was flying.
Zoës reaction to the Arctic Wolves.  Pure enthralment. 
 

In this video I tell my Best Friend about the products I use in the shower and post shower. 

Featuring GlamGlow , First Aid Beauty, OGYX Shampoo etc.

Permission to make. 

This was the main theme I left with after soaking in those five workshops that "Women in Film and Television Atlantic" provided myself and other women.

There is something about women that without even knowing it, we tend to insight doubt, fear and lack of knowledge into our minds as we ponder what it would be like to try our hand at something.

"I didn't go to school for that."

"I won't be as good as her/him."

"They won't understand why."

"I am a fraud."

"I am a mother.  I can't do that too."

Whatever it is we tell ourselves, they can be summed up in a few themes.  

Not our place.  Not our intelligence.  Not practical.  Not believable. 

I sat there in this class with women who act, write, perform, produce, aspire and was told again and again from the women (and one man) who stood and gave us a few tools for our toolkit that we were capable.  

Make something.  Anything.  Seek out the women and others around you who know something.   Maybe they won't help you, and maybe they will.  Maybe all they can do is point you in the right direction.  

By that doing, that showing up for yourself and forging the path, that is the permission.  

I Learned About Myself

I found out that I am an abstract creator.  I think with colour, texture, emotions rather than with words, logic or technical thinking.  I may use the craft of words, but my mind is all contrast, gut and emotions.  I learned I need to work on finding ways to bridge that gap.  The gap between abstract and logic.  I learned that writing will always be my first love, and I learned that editing is everything that would make me want to pull my hair out.  I learned that I knew a lot more about creating online content then I give myself credit for and I learned that playing with other mediums that interest me to produce my work will not only teach me more about myself but open up creative spaces in my brain I hadn't thought about before. 

Ultimately, I learned not to limit myself in capabilities.  That it's really about being able to humble yourself in what you don't know, in order to gain that awareness of what you can learn from and alongside others.  

I am still figuring out how to apply these things into my work and my next projects.  I truly believe this opportunity has been the stepping stone for me for ideas and mediums which before I would have told myself wasn't my place.  

It's time to let go of limitations and be a bit incredulous in my scheming. 

PERMISSION TO MAKE!!!

Throughout my life I have been told countless times
"You need to slow down."
"Take your time.  Don't rush."   
"Stop doing so much."  
"You need to take a break."  
"Put your life on hold for now."
"Don't expect to be able to do it all right now."

These words suffocate my spirit.  Leaving me feeling misunderstood and unseen.

So I reach for the truth.
Those statements were not the truth of me.  
The truth is what God has been whispering to me this whole year.

"Know your places.  
Claim your ground.  
Sink into them.  
Be so entrenched in it, that what is not for you to carry will fall away."  

This is the lesson of this year.

I still manage to worry again and again.
"What will they think?  
Did I dissapoint them?  
Will they understand?  
How can I fix it?  
What if I am wrong?  
What if I didn't get it right?"

And that's when God fills my lungs with fresh air and reminds me.  

"Just breathe.
Be where you are at.
With me.
With your purpose.
Show up to your living,
I will show you how to navigate.
Just Breathe"

I am learning what it means to be that woman who is busy making art and may not show up to everything.  Who is dedicated to raising her little and yet equally dedicated to the quiet rest it takes to make both words and person.  I am learning to breathe and accept that what some find easy, I will find hard and what some find hard I will find easy.  That I may not be the woman cooking the family a meal, but I am the woman laying in her daughters crib for an hour just to make memories, cuddle and connect.  I may not be the woman who gets every birthday card written, but I am the woman who notices the little things and goes deep quick.  I may not breathe like someone else, but I breathe with the air God has given me, and that is the place I want to be.

Here.
Just breathing. 

The Mom Show at the Company House in The Atlantic Fringe Festival 2016

So far in my work, the theme of womanhood has been a common thread.  Maybe its because I am a woman, or maybe it's because I am the type of woman who thrives on the magic that happens when women unite forces.  Either way, when it came to continuing 'The Mom Show' I saw women being the centre of it's continued existence. 

Women coming alongside other women, women collaborating with women and women becoming a stronger voice in the places they hold in this world.  

In saying that, I also believe that my own self-doubt, fear and insecurities are the reasons I feel inclined to focus on women and their experiences.  When we unite as women we create spaces for empathy, courage and strength that didn't exist before.  We create them for ourselves and future generations.  It's not about women who work, women who stay at home, women who have kids, women who don't have kids, women who can't have kids.... It's not about any of that.  

It's about ALL of Women.   Her story, is my story.  My story is her story.

I write from my own experiences and I believe that finding ways to collaborate with other women not only brings unity and compassion but a depth in compassion for each other. 

I focus on women because I am one.  I was raised by one, and I am raising one.

So yeah, I may not be Lena Dunham, Sarah Polley or Marie Forleo, but I am Amy Grace and what I have to say and share with the other women sitting in the arena of vulnerability with me, is sacred, raw and some real deep shit.

___

THE MOM SHOW YOGA FLOW
With Katherine King
37 Shaughnessy Place
Bedford NS
Sunday May 28th
3:00 - 4:30

Heres the dang honest truth!

I don't know what I am doing until I am doing it.
Showing up for 'the work' is often how I find out what 'it' is.
If binging on Netflix made me happy for long periods of time, I would do that instead. 

With that in mind, now you need to know:

Making work that is collaborative, insights discussion, and creates vulnerability is my happy place and motivation.  I will do anything to keep on that track.  In fact, when I am not on that track I am miserable.  I get anxious, unhappy, fidgety and restless and destructive.

Thats what you need to know about yourself.  What is your true motivation for anything?  Once you tap into that, aligning your life and decisions with your motivations will create an amazing burst of energy.

Self - awareness is motivations best counsellor.  You can know all there is to know about something, but if you aren't self aware enough to take a step back and see what is taking away your motivation to be enjoying, doing, creating... then you miss out on that boost to go farther.

For me?  I just work on showing up everyday for that time that I have been given.  On a good day, I don't overthink it or get caught up in the "who the heck do I think I am concept."  I just show up and do.  There will always be a little person on your shoulder trying to whisper in your ear that nothing you do is going to create a difference.  Our job isn't to live without that little person, but to acknowledge it's presence and that everyone has one.  Every single person in this world lives with that self-doubt and when we recognize that humanity, we recognize how silly it is to get caught up in our own importance, our own ego and self-bigness.

You are called to show up to what you feel you are called and led to do.  That is it.  Show up, and maintain enough self-awareness that reminds you of your calling and that no matter what part you are playing it is an important part.  

And if you happen to look over your shoulder after a while and see how far you've travelled, do yourself a favour:  acknowledge it, give thanks for it, and then get back to work. 

Birthday Rosé

Clarity.

There is something about this birthday, this year, this moment in time where I am stepping into a new clarity.  A clarity I haven't been able to grasp onto before.  This is different.

If anything 27 taught me, it was to make.  Make with abandon and without reason.  Good things come from making and clarity comes while one is in absolute abandon to their own inhibitions.  Deciding to write and produce 'The Mom Show' has delivered me into a new comprehension of my own skills, worth and passions.

28.  It's a year I feel called to be incredulous with my work and my reach.  I can clearly see the time in which I need to set aside to pour into projects and I can clearly see how my focus will not only bleed into my own joy and peace but also into the atmosphere around me.  

It is daunting to know that when I toasted 28 I was also welcoming in a new sense of 'limitlessness'.  The word of my 27th year has journeyed with me and now I have come to a new word.  

Claim.  Alongside Incredulous.  To believe that what I have been given, no matter how incredulous it may seem, has a life in this world.  Call it daring, call it wild, call it whatever you will.  

Whatever 'this' is, this is what I was made for.