A Confession: Why I havn't attended Musicals or listened to Accapella
I am a self proclaimed musical promoter. I grew up on musicals, swing dance, broadway and old black and white film classics. If someone started singing "Good Morning" I would chime in and fill in where they left off.
No, the song was not made for a viagra commercial. (insert eye-roll here)
I remember the Christmas my sister and I received VHS tapes of "The Sounds of Music" with Julie Andrews and "My Fair Lady" with Audrey Hepburn. That winter those two musicals played one after the other. On repeat. The dancing, the singing, the corepgrahy. We soaked it in.
I have introduced many people to the classics. To the new and the old of the triple threat world. Song, dance and act.
I have a confession...
I haven't been watching musicals (albeit once in a while) or listening to my adored accapella music for almost two years. I have a lingering fear I will never sing, dance or act again. That every time, is my last time.
When I was pregnant I had to stop swing and blues dancing. Nausea was my main symptom of pregnancy and when it did let up, my body still heaved at the thought of too much up and down.
Somewhere in the pregnancy I began to avoid musicals, show tunes, and deep deep blues and jazz music. It cut into me like a knife. Like watching a lover be with another. It was impossible for me to witness. So I avoided my favourite city theatre, took all musical music off my iPhone and instead focused on reruns of Gilmore Girls. Let it be said, Gilmore Girls is amazing. Their references are on point and the ease of the narrative was perfect for me to rest to.
I avoided the stage like the plague. All for jealousy sake.
This is what happens when we have a passion for something and push it to the side.
It was fear.
Fear that I wouldn't ever sing, dance or act again.
This year I am getting back into it. It doesn't have to look like me moving to New York and pursuing the triple threat, it is me embracing this side of me and not feeling intimidated by that which also thrills me.
So far in 2016:
- I have joined a once a week intermediate Swing Dance Class. The Follow Teacher is one I have not learned from before. She is from another country and is bringing more skills into my dance repetoir.
- I have joined a community choir to raise money for a Syrian refugee family. They are singing through a famous musical and it is refreshing me on the technique of harmony and the rehearsal process.
- I have picked out pieces and theory to work on the piano this Winter. Finger excercies, Scale work, a contemporary piece, a worship song, & 2 classical pieces from a book I played years ago. Going back to the basics.