Part of my job as a writer is to be okay with the parts in-between. 

In truth, I am not the biggest fan of waiting.  Of editing, of asking, of risking.  Can't someone else do that for me?  

Maybe one day, I'll have a life where I can just sit and focus on the creation and let others deal with the 'making-it-have-a-life-off-the-page' stage, but for now, I have to be a leader in that process.  Which means facing fears and being okay with the waiting.

So I wrote a letter to myself over the application I am waiting to hear about.  Knowing I should have an answer soon, the anxiety is rising.  What will I do If I don't get the money I asked for to do this?  What will I do if I don't feel that the association I believe is my only chance, doesn't believe in me?  

And thats when I heard it.

You celebrate. 

You celebrate if you got the funding, and celebrate if you didn't.  Because in the end, it's not about where the funding comes from, it's about the fact that I did something.  I tried.  I put together the best proposal I could, and I know that what I have to offer is worthy despite the results.  

I celebrate either way.  Because I didn't just sit and wish, I got up and I risked failure and I risked disappointment.  

That is worth celebrating as much as any perceived success.