I entered the MFA Creative Non-Fiction program with one project, and then was shaken awake on the first day when they said:

“You are here for a reason. Don’t write the book you can write without us. Write the book you need our support for.”

This echoed in my mind during residency, pitching days, first semester assignments and as I wrote the first pages of my book.

It turns out that once I went deeper into the process of what I wanted to put on paper, I was looking at a memoir. At first, I thought it was a memoir through essays, and now, at about three-quarters of the way through the first draft process, I can see that it is in fragments.

What I am working on isn’t a chronological journey of my experiences and reflections, but a nuanced inspection of my evangelical-influenced upbringing in a Canadian east coast mega church, how that intermingles with inherited family trauma and the struggle to find an identity as a girl through to adulthood. On the outside, this all feels very whitewashed. Very WASPY at its core, and yet with each fragment, I start to understand more and more not just how quiet the damage is but how deep it has gone.

I am not the first who has put pen to paper to try to unravel how a religion was interwoven into every aspect of her upbringing and family, and I certainly won’t be the last. Still, hopefully, I will put words to something that on the outside is passed on with a shrug, but on the inside, for many of us, is the death of a thousand cuts.

So if you need me -

I’ll be on the floor, sorting the shards of glass that once caused incredible pain and finally making them into something worth reading, something worth understanding and something that will provide words for the desire to heal.

*…and if you know me and how I journey through life, there will be winks added - because even in the darkness, there is always just enough humour to flip to the next page.

Onwards,

Personal reflections on the Summer Residency 2025 of the University of King's College Master's of Fine Arts Creative Non Fiction program.

Personal reflections on the Winter 2025 Residency of the University of King's College Master's of Fine Arts Creative Non Fiction program.

Personal reflections on the Autumn 2024 Semester of the University of King's College Master's of Fine Arts Creative Non Fiction program.

As I work on writing a book of essays that touches on a variety of topics, least of all elements of trauma that still lives within my body I have found reminding myself of these approaches helps.
For more on how this broader nervous system works, Crash Course gives a great layman’s lesson.

1. Cold Shower

   It's not one I enjoy or am particularly good at—and yet, despite my lack of skills, this may be the best regulating method I have found to date. I am no professional at Cold showers or plunges, but when I have tried them, I have noticed the profound effects on my brain function and overall regulation.
   *On a small scale, holding ice cubes in one’s hand can help stop an anxiety attack and reorient the body.

2. Walk

   A daily walk for fresh air and movement calms the nerves. I like to say, “I never come back from a walk and regret it.” From time to time, I’ll also use my headphones and record myself processing a work or life issue—more often than not, by the time I have come back inside, I feel more regulated and have solved or brainstormed solutions.

3. Lap around the house

   This may seem ridiculous, but when I have been at my desk or sitting in my reading chair writing on something particularlly triggering or difficult to put into words, just getting up and puttering from room to room and putting something to order in each can help calm the buzzing of discomfort just enough for me to sit back down and write another page.
   *Movement always helps.

4. Meditation/visualizations

   Pop on your headphones and a meditative playlist (no lyrics or simply ocean waves), set a timer, and allow yourself to sink into your body and breath. Often, during this time, I like to ask myself, “Where am I?” and what usually happens is a beautiful spiritual visualization that feeds the soul. Five minutes before writing or starting the day has been a grounding, safe place for me.

5. A Calming Show

   The most prolific and thought-provoking television now tends to be highly deep and at best heavy to process. Finding something that brings one back into their body is a rare and beautiful thing. Examples of these are: Mr.Rogers ’ Neighbourhood, The French Chef, The Great British / Canadian Baking Shows, Best in Miniature, Gilmore Girls, Julia, etc.

6. A Regulating Playlist

   You’ll notice I add playlists to these suggestions because, as I have learned over the years, music and sound are hugely dysregulating or regulating. Using it to your benefit can be helpful. A lot of research has shown that 432 and 528 Hertz sound frequencies have a positive effect on the nervous system. You can find many of these online or on your streaming provider’s playlists.

7. Water

   Simple, understated, but amazing how it wakes one up and freshens the system. Water is proven to help one’s nerves communicate properly, regulate the body and overall brain function. A tall glass of water goes a long way.

8. Physical touch / cuddling with a safe person.

   My first memories of feeling safe were lying close to my mother during naps or other rest times, such as watching films. As an adult, I have found that same self-regulating feeling with only a handful of people. I currently feel this way most often when my daughter is near or my partner. We don’t need to be intertwined. It can simply be the way her pre-teen feet wiggle against my leg as she watches a movie or a show she likes. That physical touch creates a domino effect in my nervous system that cannot be replicated with just anyone.

9. Warm / Hot bath.

   Light some candles, put on a soothing playlist, add Epsom salts or a bath bomb, and allow yourself to be soothed by the warmth surrounding you. It’s hard to feel safe, but for a moment, the water wants to hold you, and you are enough.

10. The voice of a safe person

    Not all of us are privileged enough to live close to or see our safe people often. In lieu of touch and in person, the voice of someone can also help bring us back into a safe place within ourselves. I’d even go so far as to say that when my daughter hums and sings to herself while doing something, I will often lie or sit near her to be soothed by her sounds. I find her a very safe presence to be with and around.

Alongside Accessible Media Inc. and Lynn Matheson, I helped produce this episode of Our Community.

More Than a Drive showcases the tireless and dedicated work of MusGo Rider.

Watch Here.

I spent the better of two decades telling myself University was not for someone like me.
I thought finances, intellect, individuality, and worthiness were beyond my means.
Was this because of my conservative upbringing, where women were often pigeonholed as the caregivers of their families while the men worked? Was this because of the teachers who saw my marks and considered me a lost cause? Or was this a lie of my own making?

The unwinding of these self-restrictive thoughts continues, but their hold on me does not.

Sitting in the lecture hall of the Unversity of Kings College on the first day of my master’s education earlier this year, I was struck by how, rather than standing out as an odd duck, I was simply normal.

A storyteller and producer who knew and had honed her craft and was ready to refine it to it’s next level.

“Storytelling is your power and home here.” Gillian Turnbull - Director of Writing and Publishing, University of Kings College

Back to school is not just an ‘era’; it is coming home to the side of myself that I had believed I needed to hide. The side that intuitively knows the heartbeat and cadence of the scene, can break down story and character development without blinking and is more knowledgeable about the craft of the story than she lets on. The side that spins words to find healing and wholeness, the side that digs deeper into the personal to dig deeper in the relational. The side that knows that the craft of writing is a craft that can build bridges as quickly as it can burn them.

To the side of myself I had let collect dust and believed was put to bed for good, I say welcome home.

You belong here.

Our Knots are showing.
A Threads Project

I’ve been picking at the threads…
I didn’t realize there were so many.
- A Threads Project
byamygrace

Sitting in Alumni Hall, taking notes from brilliant local and national minds, swapping thoughts and texts with fellow writers and students, clicking laptop keys and hastily scratching pens…Residency was everything I could have wanted and then some.

We don’t often consider the true value of an academic journey when we are inside it as a young person. We are too busy striving to succeed and get to whatever we believe that-next-something needs to be.
I am reminding myself to stay in the moment I am in.
Soaking it all in.
One word and one sentence at a time.

Highlights / Notations to remember

1. The chocolate tin was a great idea. (stay stocked up for motivation through the late afternoon lectures.)

2. Keep documenting the little funny things in your path. (The poetic epitaphs carved into desks, the random condom in the back of a lecture hall, and the way your fitness watch alerted you to breathe deeply when you got nervous before pitching to a director)

3. On the ‘day off,’ block off a full morning, afternoon, or evening to rest. (a two-hour nap is not enough recharge time.)

4. Plan to skip something small on day seven. Don’t feel guilty; your nervous system needs a reset by this time.

5. Pre-schedule / book a hot yoga session for your first day back to normal living. (You’ll feel good just knowing it’s coming)

6. Keep up those morning walks, no matter how early you have to wake up for them. (Truly, they kept you sane!)

7. Stay aware and open to the students around you. (reach out to the person overwhelmed in the corner, listen to the project concept of the other writers, ask how others are doing, share insight and ideas where helpful and stay open to what you may not understand.)

8. And document the normal things. (Capture that rainbow on the first evening, the way the rain splattered at your feet, the debrief voice memos with your friends, the lectures, the way your desk looked, and the way the sun lit up the campus.)

9. Do as much as you can. Enjoy the whole process. You’ll only be doing this MFA once.

10. Enjoy every single damn second.

Why?

If you are anything like me, I often live in the future. I plan, aim, and predict while life is playing out in front of me.
An act of symbolism and ritual anchors me in the moment.

Setting a wild yet attainable goal often gives me purpose and something to live for in the every day, keeping me anchored. Yet so often, once I have reached that goal, I am busy planning the next one and not savouring the moment as I should.

Leaving an Ace card behind gives me the opportunity to savour what has been achieved. It is a tangible, personal way I can honour the moment without too much planning or fanfare.

How?

Be as simple and understated or as extravagant and bold with your chosen location.

A simple ‘pull it out of your pocket’ and leave it on the seat behind you where your goal/moment occurred, or a lipstick kiss implanted on the card while you slip it between memos for someone to find after you receive that raise…
It’s all up to you.

***I plan to leave one behind at a specific location very, very soon. Although they have been alerted of our plans for change, this is a symbolic gesture that we did what we needed to do for ourselves as a family.
It was an exploration journey of what else might be out there that evolved into a new adventure and an ace card is soon to be played - left behind in a crevice somewhere as a token of bravery and determination.

The Ace Dare
How to Take the Dare
The Ace Dare Journal Prompts

Although I knew the summer semester began at the top of May with incoming assignments, essays, lectures, readings, responses, etc. I wasn’t sure how soon they would kick in before the June residency. Turns out, it started right away.

As I have adjusted to tackling deadlines, readings, lectures, etc., I have identified some things I plan to take with me on my MFA journey.

Changes I am making:

Time Blocking

Rather than freaking out about the reading list, assignments, word count goals and meetings coming in fast, I am taking a day or two to process new information and then carefully break it down into reasonable chunks to tackle each week. 
This doesn’t mean I am not already neck-deep in work, but it does mean I can tread water and still see the horizon ahead.

Within blocking out the time to tackle each new chunk, I am also prioritizing my mind, body and soul.

Prioritizing Mind, Body & Soul

Meals, exercise, alcohol-free weekdays, sleep, quality time with my daughter and partner, meditation, therapy, unplugged moments to exhale, etc., are all being prioritized in advance to protect not only my ability to output work and study but also to honour the open journey I need to protect and maintain.

End Each Semester with an Exhale moment.

Spending a few sessions at a Nordic-inspired spa recently was intensely rejuvenating. From that experience, I identified that I would like to build into each semester's end a session at a hydrothermal spa to celebrate the work done and to empty the mind, body, and soul to prepare myself for another new semester ahead.

* These next twenty-four months have much in store for me, and I cannot imagine how life will have shifted, changed, and evolved by May 2026, when I approach graduation day.
What I do know for sure is that I want to have said that I sunk into every aspect of this journey and left nothing on the table.

****This is my dedication to my practice, my craft and the beloved act of braving the wilderness of one word at a time.

They arrived!

Not all, but many books from the required and suggested reading lists for my master's program have arrived.
It’s time to get down to business!

My Goal:

To read every book suggested, mentioned or referred to in passing within my master’s journey.

Why?

When else will I have this excuse to trip over myself reading book after book?

How?

I will prioritize the required reading books and follow them with whatever seems more pressing. I aim to highlight and take notes as I go (which I am apt to do with books I own / study) and input those highlighted quotes/sections into a chart for reference.
When a quote or passage deems itself a lifeline, I will write it down to keep it in a visible space in my office to be reminded of.

If you need me, I’ll be reading.

Prompts to help guide you towards your most daring, whimsical, enticing, enraptious goals.

What were you like as a child? What interests, hobbies, obsessions, play, ideas, and desires did you have / engage in?

How would those who know you describe you today? What would they say about your Personality, work, LIFESTYLE, AND hobbies?

How would you describe yourself today? What would you say ABOUT YOUR Personality, WORK, hobbies AND YOUR LIFESTYLE?

Of those three different descriptions of you, Circle the ones that feel the most like You.

What would you add to that list of descriptions today if you could?

How do your chosen descriptions for yourself make you feel?

With those descriptions in mind - consider ways you could sink in deeper into those parts of yourself.
e.g. :

Bookworm - Sunday Morning Library Coffee Date with a book for six months.
Freelancer - Schedule a meeting once a month with an Editor / Producer.
Fitness lover - Use weight training videos to go up 5 pounds in weights.
Social - Schedule bi-weekly in-person hangs with friends and colleagues.
etc.

Narrow in on one of these action items and calim it as an ace dare.

begin secretly picking away at your challenge.

*Only play your ace (leave it behind) when you feel you have reached the goal you set for yourself.

Creating is a unique art where tools and methods are used seemingly at random but all have their place in the inner workings of an artists tool kit.
For me, I find it is the unique journey of each project that tells me which tools I need, which tools I can let go of and which tools I have that I will reach for again and again.

Here are this years current items:

Writing

Grammarly

Although expensive as all get out, I find Grammarly, the hard-working editor, behind my shoulder that I can’t afford to pay. She runs alongside me, catching tone, word choices and structure issues without much effort and as far as AI tools go, she’s one I can live with.

Pages

Being an Apple product user, I pages the app I write documents on.

Final Draft 12

Although screenwriting and playwriting are not mediums of writing that I have spent much time in the past few years, Final Draft has allowed me to dip in and out of the medium with ease and practicality. It easily formats scripts and keeps all notations and edits at your fingertips.

POCKET-SIZED Moleskin Notebooks

Being a highly analoge focused, I keep these pocket-sized notebooks close to organize project notes on the go, various themes of life and work, etc.

Leuchtturm1917 Notebooks

I design these notebooks every year using the Bullet Journal Method. It took many years to get the layouts the way I wanted. Using this method takes the yearly changes and adjustments of a new day planner out of the equation and keeps me flowing in productivity from one year to the next.

Sharpie Pens

I was raised by someone who sold pens for a living (among other things), and the number of pens that multiplied in our home was unreal. It made me want to live a less cluttered ‘pen life.’ Once I found the Sharpie pen, I never looked back. It’s the only pen I will use. It's simple and understated.

Producing

Final Cut Pro

Essential for editing film footage of any kind. Final Cut is UI-friendly, with many features and tools to discover.

Garage Band

For basic sound needs, Garage Band keeps serving. A quick tutorial can give you the basic vocabulary of how to use it, and it does the trick for about eighty percent of my audio needs.

Audacity

Audacity does what Garage Band can’t. It’s not as UI-friendly, but a few tutorials gave me the tools to help fine-tune my files.

Cannon Camera EOS RP

Having a camera, which I can use for any project, both personal and professional, is essential. I am not a professional photographer or cinematographer, but it gives me the ability to point, shoot and capture what needs to be done.

Recording

Zoom H4N Pro

Compact and an excellent quality recorder for in-the-field documentary/reporting work.
If you live in windy locations like I do, you should invest in a wind sock.

iPhone 13

In the multi-media creative industries, a smartphone is a must.
No explanation at this point in time should be needed for why.

Late last year, I began to work alongside Lynn Matheson and Accessible Media Inc. to help produce an episode of Our Community on MusGO Rider, a rural transportation association serving the Eastern Shore, Valley, and Sheet Harbour areas.

What is AMI?

Although not my first time involved in an AMI production, it has been many years, and I am reminded of the impact their not-for-profit platform provides, specifically in their work in Integrated Described Video, which is an art in and of itself. Their mission is clear, and their delivery and innovation are inspiring.

What is Our Community?

Our Community is a series that highlights the people, places, organizations or things that have made life more enjoyable for Canadians with a disability.

What’s Next?

With just weeks to go before production, we are pleased to see this project moving forward and excited to continue the work until it makes its last pass before airing.

****It’s never a waste of time to come alongside someone with a passionate heart and a keen eye for the story behind an organization. I am thrilled to be behind Lynn Matheson and her careful, mindful work.

Over the past few years, working on audio documentaries has become a passion and a joy. Being freelance has allowed me to source stories, serve unheard voices, and create a systematic and holistic approach to my craft. Rather than churning out content week by week, I can go deeper into my research and sources and take the time with each voice rather than hurry the scripts into production.

On the other hand,

I have no idea where my next documentary will come from. The ideas, leads, questions, and curiosities that develop into a story worth hearing and telling do not just suddenly land on my desk, ready to go.

I Listen & Watch

I pay attention to everything around me. What are people going through? What topics are rising to the surface? Who is not feeling heard? What is surprising? What is unsurprising? Who is angry? Who is hurt? Who is heard from often? Who is heard from rarely?

I discern

Often, a story that needs to be told will become something I have underlined repeatedly. A collection of screenshots on my phone or a thought I have written down more than once. It becomes louder in my head until I intuit deeply there is something there.

I listen again

I go back to my notes and screenshots and re-read and observe the snippets of a story I have accidentally collected over time.

I Get curious

I wonder aloud to myself, the internet, and books at large if other people know about ‘this.’ I write down what I believe would give me answers. I drop the topic in relevant conversations and see if it raises more thoughts. I consider what the format might be, stumble into voices, and start to ask to talk to them to approach this new story.

I ask questions

I ask more questions and begin to discern which voice has the answers, perspectives or ideas I still need to include.

I listen again

I listen to them and set up times to record.

I record.

I hold space for their story.

I listen again.

I listen back, transcribing on my laptop as I go.

I highlight

I print out the transcription and read back, highlighting what is essential.

I Lay it all out.

I lay out all the transcriptions, focusing on the highlighted portions to find the story.

I listen & piece it together.

I begin to put the story together, listening back to each segment as I go, confirming each voice's pace, accuracy, and intention.

I listen again.

I listen to each portion in order, confirming continuity and maintaining accuracy.

I double check.

I circle back and ask questions about lack of clarity and confirm simple but essential things like pronunciation of names.

I listen again.

I listen to my finalized draft/audio.

I submit the final script

I let it go, applied incoming notes from executive producers, and often adjusted the scripts the day of recording, adding, removing, and making on-the-spot adjustments as needed.

In the late spring of 2023,

I began to stumble upon the growing desire to dig deeper into my craft of documenting and writing. As with anything, there is a point where you realize you can continue as you have been or dig in deeper and search for a type of growth that will genuinely grow and challenge you.

With the encouragement of a handful of close and trusted colleagues, friends and family, I began asking what it might take for someone like me to seek a place in a master's program. I expected the doors to be firmly closed and locked in place. Yet, it was in this process that I discovered something else.

I discovered that the more I asked questions, the more doors opened. The more I tip-toed near the edge of possibility, the more the call from the unknown beckoned me to jump.

So jump I did. I spent the summer and early autumn preparing and finishing my application for this master's program. It was a labour of love over the project I am going forward with and, most importantly, a labour of love for myself.

I am worthy of a higher education, worthy of taking myself seriously, and most certainly deserving within my craft.

Get a stack of playing cards

Any set will do. If it’s fun for you, do research and take the time to find a set for your year that reflects your personal aesthetic or vision for the year. My set for 2024 was the Esoteric Playing Cards.

pull out the aces

Open the box and remove the aces, keeping them with you daily.

Meditate and reflect on goals, dreams, and risks you could take

Take time to journal, reflect and take stock of where you want to go - think big and small.

Quietly create a plan to reach a goal, take a risk, make progress on a dream

Create a reasonable and attainable plan within a year to reach a goal, outcome, or way to accomplish progress. Work quietly on this.

When you decide you’ve reached YOUR goal, took a risk, made progress on your dream…

Only you know what that end outcome is.

Leave an ace behind as a calling card.

Wherever you have accomplished a goal, dream, or risk - leave your ace behind. Take a picture. Hold a ceremony and celebrate the work you did to get you there.

JOIN / FOLLOW THE JOURNEY

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#playedmyace #playyourace #theacedare

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The Ace Dare

creativity | ˌkrēāˈtivədē | noun the use of the imagination or original ideas, especially in the production of an artistic work: firms are keen to encourage creativity.

Creativity, alongside its necessary partner' curiosity,' has been the foundation of how I have developed and honed my craft over the years.

Because of this passionate love and pursuit of creativity, I have found myself in various creative industry mediums (radio, scriptwriting, playwriting, comedy writing, film, articles, and web multimedia). It continues to be the heartbeat behind all that I do.

Creative Writer

A Creative writer approaches each writing piece or project with the concept that they discover the authenticity and strength of the material as they go along. They bring not only what they understand about the subject but also all the elements of life around them to fully develop a narrative and paint a picture for the readers of what they desire to communicate.
Creative writing is less about proving a point and more about showcasing an idea, belief or feeling through the art of words.

Creative Producer

A producer can be many things depending on the project they are working on, but in this case, my approach in creative producing has been and always will be as a vision advocate. Every project has its own unique tone, voice, narrative and hook. Taking the time to come alongside a story/project and help shape it and walk it into its fullness is an act of being able to honour it through all its needed changes while also intuitively knowing what is non-negotiable in its creation.
Creative Producing is, in its entirety, a position of intuitive discernment and advocacy for the overall project.