Posts tagged amwriting
WORK | Writers I am Inspired By

We grab our inspiration in various places, here is a sampling of where mine has come from:

Sarah Polley

I think it’s safe to say there is nothing that I have taken in by Sarah Polley that hasn’t moved me. Most notably, Stories We Tell and Take This Waltz. Both of these pieces, one documentary and one fiction, has left me in awe about the complexities of life. I found peace and solidarity with the concept behind ‘Take This Waltz’ as it shows the process of a woman coming to terms with her choices in life, finding out her why’s, her how’s and how maybe life is not as simple as we thought it was. Stories We Tell gave me a deep dive as a human and storyteller how perspective and personality is everything. We are marked by our families, our DNA and our circumstances, no matter how we may fight it all.

Diana Gabaldon

This year I have been quite literally taken by Diana’s Outlander Series. I have only read four out of the eight already published in the series. (apparently there is to be 10 books in total.) What grabbed me with Diana’s writing, is her ability to weave together a time travel concept into history, romance, adventure, and so many more genres. She writes her characters deeper than three dimensional and has a way of making everything mundane in a persons life an integral part of the story. You believe in the characters as much as you believe in yourself, because that is how much she is able to give you in her writing.

Maya Angelou

Although I read ‘I Know Why the Caged Bird Sings’ when I was a teenager, I fell in love with Maya’s words as I listened to her in various interviews. Interviews such as these: ‘Power of Words’, ‘Be a Rainbow in Someone Else’s Cloud’ , Best Advice Given, captivate me & still does. Her words are timeless, empowering and insightful and I turn to them when I need reminders to come back to myself, my values and my worthiness as a human. I will always hold her brevity, sincerity and intolerance for inhumanity close to my heart.

Elizabeth Gilbert

What I love about Elizabeth Gilbert is that not one of her works is remotely the same. Every book she has ever written is a complete departure from the last. It’s as if she shows up for the project and let’s it speak and if anything, the only thing that I can put my finger on about her, is that her own personal physical voice has a distinct soul to it that speaks of raw unashamed re-learned childlike abandon. My favourite of her works: ‘Big Magic: Creative Living Beyond Fear’, ‘City of Girls’ and various of her clippings of words captured on the internet.

This short list didn’t even touch on ‘Anne Lamott, Amy Sherman-Palladino, Shonda Rhimes, The Brontë Sisters, Liv Constantine’…. it’s an endless list.

What writers or people inspire your work?

WORK | Summer Write Nights

Creative writing lends itself well for me to write in the evenings.

In particular, I find there is something magical about writing in the summer evenings. The window by my desk open, allowing any small breeze to come in, a train rumbling by and shaking everything including my heart, the light dimming slowly as the summer sun relents to bed…

I light a candle, put on my twinkle lights, pour some white wine and turn on some music to enter into a state that can only be explained by writers.

If I could, I would stay in that state forever. It is a lot like bliss and ecstasy mixed with a bit of earth to meet you where your feet are. Somewhere in that state you are both high and grounded at the same time.

An excerpt from my write nights:

“Words are like rain.  They pour out of us and seek to cover the dry parts of our lives.  Like rain, words can come in a pitter patter, or a flood.  Like rain, words can be a deluge or a storm or even a simple dewy soft and tender pattern of affection.”

WORK | Mama, Writer, Producer etc.
On set with mama. 2019

On set with mama. 2019

Over the past year I have been on a journey on what it means ‘for me’ to be both my daughters primary care giver and to be active in my chosen career.

What I have found thus far:

I schedule around the time with my daughter.

Before a new work week begins, I sit down and see where the windows of time will be where she is on a visit to a grandparents, will be doing activities with her father or anyone else. Then I schedule in my work after that. (notwithstanding, previously arranged meetings, appointments or filming shoots.)

I honour the work and my daughter.

There are days I would rather just kick it around the house or goof off with a friend, but I realize if I don’t show up for both my daughter and my work I become resentful to whatever has distracted or is keeping me from either.

I grow at my own right pace.

As I grew into this motherhood thing, I realized that I valued my work and wanted to grow and mature professionally in a manner that was steady, healthy and challenging in all the right ways. My pace and someone else’s pace will be different and that’s okay.

What I wish others knew

I work really hard to be present.

I give you and my life 100% of me, which is naturally just a part of who I am as a person. It also means I can drain my reserves quickly if I am not managing myself properly and keeping margin in my daily life.

I love being there for both my daughter and my work.

There is nothing that makes me happier than having a day with a meaningful activity with my daughter and getting some work done amidst it all.

I need you to reach out to me too.

I take maintaining relationships seriously, and I have realized that although I am the driving force in many relationships, I need someone else to take the drivers seat off and on.

*A Note on ‘Being Busy’ & Celebrating the Exhaustion…

There is this unfortunate celebration of the woman who is balancing everything and continues to take on more and more. We like to enjoy saying ‘look at her, she does it all!’ We don’t take the time to look at how all of those things are affecting her personal and professional life in ways that are unseen. We just see the list of tasks and roles and celebrate , like it’s a ticket to success to be run into the ground with nothing but a few hours to sleep at night.

fyi: that’s not long lasting success. That’s a fast ticket to a burn out. I won’t be boarding that train ya’ll.

WORK | A One Woman Show

Everything in stages

After spending a day story boarding her life, I took another step into the direction of writing a one woman show about my grandmother, Joan Francis Goodday Lugar by beginning that first draft.

Because of her importance in my life and the weight she carries, I have found myself caught between the urge to see this fantastic, complex and very straight forward woman characterized on stage in her many facets and the anxiety that I will get it all wrong and not serve her story properly.

I press on.

Baby steps have been taken to start taking the storyboard onto paper and I have given myself this year to meander in pulling it together. I trust that I will be able to see that final first draft by late autumn of this year and begin to hone it after.

What I see when I look at the photos of her, is a strong capable, woman who was beyond her time. She was sharp as she was tender and quippy as she was also observant.

WORK | Everything is Progress

As work and projects have shifted,

it became very clear that I needed new business cards.

Here is what blew me away about looking at past cards I have had for byamygrace until now:

Every year I become more and more who I am supposed to be.
Every year is a refinement and these little cards are a testament to the journey.

Looking at this business card I feel truly connected to what I am presenting more so than ever before.
That is me and it clearly states what I am about.

It is hard in the moment of the slog of ones own work and creative pursuits to see the story that is being woven together with every action, every day, season and year… but when you pan back and see the progression over years, you begin to see that you have been growing, changing and becoming.

It has led me to the realization that every little thing is progress and there is room for just a bit more growth in every small and simple thing we do.

*“Baby steps and short breaths. Anything is progress. You sustain my every moment.” - Steffany Gretzinger

WORK | Batch Work Learning

I have a confession to make….

Up until this year I have 90% of the time written & done my work on this website / blog in real time. Meaning: you were seeing it right after I typed it up, slapped on an image, and pressed ‘publish’.

I think one of the reasons I have done this for so long, is that in the past I have had a specific writing style that I shared online that this thrived with. It was the times I was the ‘least planned’ and the most ‘unedited’ that it received the most impact and appreciation. I thought that in order for me to remain impactful I needed to remain ‘unplanned’.

& to a certain extent this remains true.

I still continue to have the most meaningful written and in person interactions when the words flow without much forethought. I write my speeches that way, my letters and cards that way …etc.

& yet, as life has evolved I need to learn the art of ‘batch work’ to give room for other things in my life.

Thus far I have been able to deduce this means:

Blog Writing

Setting aside half a day monthly to pre write the next months posts.


Interviewing at least 3 people a session rather than one at a time.

This will hopefully provide me with more time to play in my creative writing projects that aren’t seen here…and allow me some much needed breathing room in my personal / professional life.

*this post is vastly inspired by Jenna Kutcher’s Goal Digger podcast various ‘kicks in the butt’ regarding all things ‘batch work’.

WORK | Bird by Bird
I wrote down this quote to sit at my desk with me to remind me as I squeeze in writing moments over the Winter & throughout 2019.

I wrote down this quote to sit at my desk with me to remind me as I squeeze in writing moments over the Winter & throughout 2019.

An active professional development goal of mine for 2019, is to read at least one book a season (4 within the year) that broadens my mind and skills on my own craft.

Bird by Bird was high on my list and is the first book for 2019 in this category.

Anne Lamott has always captivated me with her words on life, faith and writing & this book is no different.

“This is all we are going to do for now. We are just going to take it bird by bird. But we are going to finish this one short assignment.” - Anne Lamott.

This simple concept has completely unfolded me. Anne explains in this book that when attempting to write anything, looking at your goal or project in its entirety is an overwhelm. (…believe it or not, many writers are not as confident as they appear on paper…)
One way to tackle this overwhelm is one step at a time.

Experiencing Writing Cramps

Taking on more freelance assignments & active roles in projects where I am producing material means that my creative writing time is more limited and with that has caused some of my own writing cramps of sorts. Tackling my writing goals and concepts with this ‘bird by bird’ analogy has already allowed me to sit down at my desk for short periods of time and see those sparks of real work come alive again.

In Writing & In Life

Her analogy is better explained within the book as to why she calls it ‘bird by bird’, but it has shaken me free of expectations for myself and allowed me more creative play.

What I love so far about this book, is it applies to life as much as it applies to writing.
& that may just reveal why I love writing so much.
The craft itself is as much a craft of realizing life as it is stringing words together.

WORK | Freelance Bit Writer - Eyes for the Job

This past Autumn I began learning and gaining experience as an extended script & bit writer for a television series ‘Eyes for the Job’.

Eyes For the Job is a ‘do it yourself’ television series of two hosts who tackle different projects in and around Halifax.

What I’ve been Learning

Integrated Described Video (IDV)

What is unique about this series is that it integrates from the ground up described video. This is done so that a viewer who couldn’t visualize the show clearly, can still fully apart take in the show and know as much as any fully sighted person what is going on, and how it looks without the typical ‘Described Video’ overtop.

This means I have been learning over the past few months how to write in a way that includes this information. What does the project look like, where are they, what does something feel like?

Having worked four years as an American Sign Language interpreter this type of writing style is a fun challenge and taps into a side of me I haven’t used in a while.


Currently I am working on bit writing. The transition segments that take about 30 - 60 seconds long that tackle a quick tip or project in-between the bigger projects. I am having a BLAST with these. I am verbose by nature, so this work is not only a challenge for me, but a practice I am learning to embrace whole heartedly and find a unique satisfaction in.

The Takeaway

This experience is giving me active feedback on my writing and an active way to grow in this industry that fits where I am in this season of my life. I am learning not only the craft of brevity, but what is required to get a series like this on air.

& in honour of that learned brevity, to sum up:
knowing that the work I am doing here is contributing to a bigger project that gives others more equal access, is a satisfaction that goes beyond the work itself.

WORK | Scheduling

Entering into 2019…

with more to balance and maintain has enforced the need for scheduling and I am working on embracing it in a more effective and succinct way.

What I am Using:

Moleskin Plain Pocket Size

I use these Moleskins to keep track of various aspects of my personal & professional life.
- Movement & Diet
- Inspirations (quotes, ideas etc)
- Seasons (Winter activities, recipes, etc)
- Work Log
- Home Maintenance & visions

Kate Spade Journal

There is a shortage of these journals as Kate Spade is releasing less of them yearly, but I make a point of buying them when I find them & I use a journal for each year for my personal notations / writing about life and thoughts.

Leuchtturmn1917 (A5)

I use Leuchtturmn journals for my yearly bullet journaling. I do not follow the ‘bujo’ method to a ‘t’ but I apply what works for my own methodology and it seems thats what Ryder Carroll was aiming for.

Fossil Watch

New to me this year, for less attachment to my iPhone when checking the time. Doesn’t hurt that I am addicted to metallic tone fashion statements.

Sharpie & Midliner Pens

Knowing that these are the pens I use simplifies the tools I reach for. Decision fatigue regarding finding a new pen: ‘be gone’.


Reducing my scheduling hours and methods is one of my main goals this year. As great as it can be to have time to sit down and schedule the week ahead it can severely stir up anxiety when given too much space to be dwelled on. It also can swallow up much needed rest and quality time with others.

I am giving myself a year to work on the craft of scheduling because I realize it’s a task that I am going to have to unlearn bad habits, try new methods & simplify again & again.

As I hone the craft of scheduling I am keeping these words close to me as a reminder:

Create. Cultivate. Curate. Centred.

Here we go…

WORK | Cue Cards

I saw this post from Elizabeth Gilbert on instagram.

& I realized I was missing this key ingredient. Cue cards. (Or Index Cards). I have tried various forms of this but never with simple cue / index cards.

As a screen writer,

one learns that story boarding with index cards is essential.

As a writer / creator,

I hadn’t considered how this may help my practice for other projects, ideas and organizing all their bits and scattered thoughts and ideas.

I am still creating my own method around how to best catalogue my ideas, story arcs, characters etc but I am finding it a mysterious and alluring process.

Will make sure to update on what process I find most productive, fun and agreeable.

If only I had boxes like Elizabeth Gilbert has in that picture to file these cards away….

WORK | Back to School Vibes

As students go back to school there is no reason us adults can’t get a work refresh as well. With new work coming my way, I figure it’s time to recenter and recalibrate.

Here are a few essentials to think about:


Know exactly what materials you need and will create a productive atmosphere for you. For me, this is my MacBook Pro, headphones, notebook & bullet journal, along with whatever beverage I am drinking (water, coffee, tea, etc.).


This is the time of year that colds start getting shared & I am loath to get sick. When I do get sick it’s usually a doozy, so I do everything I can to avoid it, including taking vitamins (specifically, probiotics, garlic tablets, vitamin C and my regular multi vitamin), eating salads, kale smoothies and adding meat to my diet when I feel I need it (I specifically know that I crave and need extra portien when approaching my period).


Getting some sort of exercise is not only known to help with mental wellness, it is key when working at a sit down job. As a writer, all I do is sit down to work. I make a huge effort to maintain an equal amount of moment into my life. This usually means, 20 mins of yoga, 20 mins of cardio and a walk during the day. Extra movement looks like: (skating, swimming, swing dance, nature walks / hikes, hot yoga).


Using the ‘getting ready’ part of the day as a mindful exercise in preparing and choosing items to wear that will help me embrace the work I am about to do is essential. I am highly aware it is a privilege and a luxury to have items to choose from, products to use and the time to set aside to prepare for the day. I mindfully express gratitude as I prepare and never forget that although I may at times believe I want more, that I in fact, have more than enough and am content with the life I am breathing this day.


However you work, it’s important to have what inspires you in proximity. For me this is having a few privately chosen places for knick knacks that are meaningful to me and that only I can see. A tab on my laptop specifically for bookmarked articles, videos relating to my professional development that will help me grow, a background on my laptop I love and music that I can play while I work if the work fits that.

However you refresh your work lifestyle for the Autumn, do take it into account.

There is nothing like realizing you can do something to boost your ‘practice’ to be more full, enjoyable and productive.

eat well.byamygrace
WORK | Interviews
Photo by Steve Rau

Photo by Steve Rau

If you have been following my work over the past two years you will have seen that I have enjoyed producing the "Spotlight Series" where I highlight creative / intuitive women and ask them five main questions.  Initially I started with ten, but as the project evolved I narrowed those questions to five and the project is about to get another revamp in 2019.

More on that to come!!!! 

Along with taking the Spotlight to the next level for 2019, I have also found an incredible outlet in Women in Film and Teletivion Atlantic.  These women amaze me at every turn.  To be given the opportunity to interview women for their newsletter is an honour. 

As I adapt to each project / assignment I aim to hone my craft of interviewing into where it needs to be and identify what I need to grow in.

2 main things I focus on when interviewing:


Each person is unique and that is what makes it all the more interesting to read / hear what they have to say.  You will never get exactly the same answer or exactly the same story to tell.  


Those details in conversation is what colours a person and adds depth to their whole self.  Seeking out those details gives me joy and a big part of my process.  There are always delicious gems to uncover.

WORK | Blog Writer

I started writing a blog on blogspot in 2010 called 'intentionally Amy'.  

I posted on it weekly and through that routine I found a renewed passion for writing.  

My writing and my voice was something that my education in ASL/English Interpreting took from me (I don't say that lightly). As a very young twenty-something I knew my voice mattered but I struggled to find it amidst the rules, the circumstances and the professional boundaries that I was now confined in. 

I needed to find, at least, my written words again.  Somehow.

Blogging became that way for me to to find my words and inadvertently, connect with living a more 'intentional' lifestyle, something I craved.

As the years progressed, I learned that not only my words mattered but my voice did too.  

I made the scary realization that the profession I chose was one that overall, discouraged my young voice and where I often found myself in positions where the rights of others, including myself, were being not only ignored but pushed aside.  

(that being said, I do want to add that towards the end of my short interpreting career I was developing a great relationship with my then, current boss & a few very wonderful mentors whom I know would have continued supporting my growth in the profession.)

Looking back, I can recognize that in certain circumstances, even as an individual providing a service, I deserved to know that I had autonomy and a voice in the situations I was in, despite being just 'a conduit for communication'.

It has been having a blog space that has allowed me to find my voice in a quiet and yet public manner.  

It hasn't always and still won't always be as eloquent or as thought out as I would like, but blogs have a way of delivering the honest state of a person and I am empowered by that.  To read the honest states' of others and to have a moment to discover my own place in this world.

It's a privilege.  

It's a privilege to have had that tiny little blog which turned into this website format where I can explore my creative and performance projects in a public and yet collected manner. 

I continue to blog as a consistent way for me to conintue my output and growth.  Consistency is important even when we don't feel like it, even when it sucks.

I will always be maintaining a blog because it is a habit that continues my work, my creativity and also in honouring my own unique voice.



WORK | Film & Television Writer

Learning the craft of writing for film & television is a journey.
I still am in the process of attending workshops, studying up, and surrounding myself with like minded people. 

Let's be honest.  

I am doing all of this while being the primary caregiver of a three year old.  It's not as if this journey is going to be completed in a season or two.  

What I am learning so much of right now, is that giving myself grace and space to learn, grow and be inspired is of the upmost importance.  

Grace to not have it all figured out, and the space to take as much time as I need to get there. 

What I have accomplished so far :

- Written and continuing to work on various drafts of the pilot and series pitch of a television series that I alone created.  I have done this with the previous and continual help of various women who are also excited by the concept. (That in itself is amazing!!!!) 

- Written a short film that accurately displays the type of female characters that I am known for writing.  That displays my love of womanhood, friendship and humour. 


I think at this point, to get this far has been a considerable feat and I shouldn't downplay it no matter how I may feel when I look around at the various women slaying their hustle.

 I too, have been doing amazing things.

Here is to the continuation and development of much more!



WORK | Theatre Writer

I am going to level with you.

I am not out to be the next hit Canadian performance.

I think, that itself as the goal, distracts from the whole point of it. 

The pressures we allow to be put on ourselves internally and externally are insurmountable.  They sit on us and tell us how unworthy we are and how our attempts are always going to pale in comparison to anothers.

Here it is:

I want to be so focused on honing my craft, creating true and resonating pieces of work that the distractions fall away.  That I surround myself with what I need to be empowered enough to press in and keep on carving away at something I truly believe in.

I am pursuing characters whom I truly love and adore.  I am their advocate and their biggest champion.  I want to see them breathe in the mediums I have chosen for them and I remain hard at work bringing them into the place they need to be.

That is what it's about.  Not the recognition, not the networking, the support or the lack thereof.  It's about the voices that have been given life through the work and whom made it past the cutting room floor into a place of story. 

WORK | Mindset, Heartset

Getting in the right mindset is essential for me.

Our minds can play the leading role in our day to day and they say it's an 18 inch journey from our heads to our hearts.  

18 inches.

So I only have to travel those 18 inches to get my head and heart aligned together.  

I am very much aware of the disconnect.  I see it in myself, in others and in the world around me.  To do real soul seeking, story unearthing work, I want to be malleable.  Capable of being vulnerable enough to travel the distance from my head and heart and back again without bumping up against my own ego.

And I will.  Bump into my ego.  We all do.  Our ego is our best and worst friend.  It likes to tell us we are right and we know all there is to know here. 

As a trained interpreter I know all too well the 'interpreter-ego' who sits beside me and rolls her eyes at the things people say and their contradicting body language.  Or the way in which what people are avoiding in showing comes out so clearly through their body.  

But the truth is, it's what I studied and what I was trained up to recognize but it isn't fact.  Not in the punitive sense. 

What is fact, is the inner soul journey a person is going through and even then, that is their own reality.  Their own personal journey from their head and heart and back again.  Be it distorted or aligned with the majority.

For me, this all comes back to mindset.

A mindset & heart set

I want my mind AND my heart to be communicating with eachother to bring me to where I need to be in my work and personal life.

It's an 18 inch journey they say, but I think it takes more than just a hop skip and a jump.  I think it takes a desire and a courage that works past what we thought we knew and works towards a more whole and empathetic experience.  For our individual self and for others.


WORK | Projects in Stages

Something clicked just over a month ago.  

I can and should have multiple different projects on the go in various stages of development at all times. 

This has been true for me at different times in my work, but never intentional.

It hit me while sitting and listening to women in the storytelling industry.

It is normal and in fact, part of the creative industry to be multitasking with various projects.

You see, that is not in my nature.  I am a multi-tasker in my day sure, but not in how I live my overall life.  If I want to do anything, I am guns blazing from start to finish.  I want to start at the beginning and get to the end, as fast as I possibly can.  

That is not how it works in the theatre, film and television industry.  

It takes Months.  Seasons.  YEARS even.

This realization is blowing my mind and still a challenge to comprehend.

At this point, all I can truly say, is that I am learning how to be more comfortable and capable with balancing this reality.  Having four projects this season seems daunting and overwhelming and yet, it also seems absolutely possible and motivating. 

As my awareness and understanding of how this works develops for me I will definitely be documenting and sharing my process and learning.  

Until then,

With various projects I go....




WORK | Spring 2018

Thank-God for Spring!  Everything comes up new.

And that is exactly how it feels professionally for me right now.

Attending Women Making Waves 2018 was a reminder that my courage and ambition are rightly placed and well timed.  That my projects have merit and my stories have a voice.

Since that conference I have embraced what it looks like to be a professional writer in the performance industries.  It means a lot of hard and well though out solo work.  A lot of applications, a lot of socializing and finding those whom click with your own work ethic and values.  

It means patience, perseverance, and a lot of play time.

This Spring:

I anticipate announcing a few new and exciting projects.

Introducing new and inspiring women via Spotlight posts.

Continuing to share my learned experiencing in life and work.

"My mission in life is not merely to survive but to thrive, and to do so some passion, some compassion, some humour and some style." - Maya Angelou


WORK | Women Making Waves 2018

Over the weekend I attended the Women in Film and Television Atlantics (WIFT-AT) yearly conference 'Women Making Waves' at the Lord Nelson Hotel in Halifax.  

I attended last years' due to being accepting into the New Waves Program where WIFT-AT accepts emerging and exploring film-makers into a five class workshop series.  Needless to say, I LOVED it.

Since the New Waves program I have been working to hone and focus my writing into the performing arts (learning screenplay writing and culture etc) and it was exciting to attend this years conference knowing that my projects and visions were even more aligned with the industry.

 Re-connecting with peers, hearing from other creators and celebrating the work that comes out of women who are aiming to collaborate, work, and essentially make a difference through their medium of passion was the refresh I so desperately needed.

It was hugely inspiring to be able to hear from Carmillas co-creator Steph OuaknineMohwak Girls Creator and director Tracy Deer, Ava creator and director Sadaf Foroughi and 'Bens at Home' creator and director Mars Horodyski about how they created, were impassioned to pursue their work and how they pushed through to get them where they are today.

This weekend I learned these things:

1. Keep showing up for your work and always put it out there.

2. What you are passionate about has a niche.

3. Find that niche and hone it.

4. Work with those whom you click with.

5. Know why you do it. 

6. Anyone who attempts truth telling is extrodinarily brave.

I am so thankful for the journey I am on and the opportunities I have along the way that connect me with passionate women, remind me of why I do what I do and keep my feet planted on the ground. 

UPDATE | Celebrate Because You Did Something

Part of my job as a writer is to be okay with the parts in-between. 

In truth, I am not the biggest fan of waiting.  Of editing, of asking, of risking.  Can't someone else do that for me?  

Maybe one day, I'll have a life where I can just sit and focus on the creation and let others deal with the 'making-it-have-a-life-off-the-page' stage, but for now, I have to be a leader in that process.  Which means facing fears and being okay with the waiting.

So I wrote a letter to myself over the application I am waiting to hear about.  Knowing I should have an answer soon, the anxiety is rising.  What will I do If I don't get the money I asked for to do this?  What will I do if I don't feel that the association I believe is my only chance, doesn't believe in me?  

And thats when I heard it.

You celebrate. 

You celebrate if you got the funding, and celebrate if you didn't.  Because in the end, it's not about where the funding comes from, it's about the fact that I did something.  I tried.  I put together the best proposal I could, and I know that what I have to offer is worthy despite the results.  

I celebrate either way.  Because I didn't just sit and wish, I got up and I risked failure and I risked disappointment.  

That is worth celebrating as much as any perceived success.