Every year is a journey. A chapter in our lives.
If I was to sum up this past year I would say:
Wading through wreckage of real. Wonder filled by miracle of birth. Waiting on inspiration.
This year I have learned:
1) Always trust my intuition.
Mama instincts are real, woman intuition is also a very real aspect of female functioning and to top that off with the interpreter training I have had to be highly aware of myself and those around me, I need to stop doubting myself. If I feel strongly something isn't right for me or my family, it more than likely isn't. Spending time feeling guilty for standing up for my instincts is a waste of my joy and health.
2) My body is a temple.
There is nothing like pregnancy, birth and postnatal recovery that brought this discovery. Nurturing my body for my daughters safety and then survival as a newborn has brought me to a place where I am driven by wellness instead of guilt. What I put into my body will come out, and our bodies house our very spirits. I want my whole self to leak light, health and truth.
3) I am intelligent.
I have allowed for too long the idea that what I may lack is a reason for anyone to view me as unqualified, or unintelligent. This is a lie and garbages what I have to offer to this world away. I am a college diploma interpreter, certified and trained in theatre, student of piano for eight years, choir and musically trained vocalist, an intermediate Swing and Blues dancer, a natural baker, a beginner trained figure skater, and after all of that an untaught writer. All of these elements of my expierence have created me to become a person who can speak on many topics and has the ability to create and work in the creative and academic environments that I step into. I am capable and have more than enough to bring to the table.
4) Life is precious.
There is something about birthing a baby that gave me roots. It's not about success, or how hard I have worked. It is not about what I have written or if I sing well enough to move people. It is not about the links, the videos, the pictures or what "I have done". It's about wether or not I was present for the life I am living. Creating a family has done wonders for my heart. There has been a shift. A focus. The sound on my phone is always off and I guard my weeks to be anything but busy. I would rather leave open spaces for the quiet moments and the not so rushed. In the end, nobody thinks about the work they have done, but the people they loved.
5) Food brings me joy.
As with most women, I have had a journey with food. Eating too much sugar, not eating enough, forgetting to nourish my body in the way it needs. Needless to say, the past few years of my life has been a journey back to food in the right way. When I was hit with morning sickness and couldn't eat my normal diet I was crushed. I didn't want any of it. And although I didn't miss it then, a joy I had felt before in eating had left. Recovering from birth Jeremy and I made a mission to introduce new and exciting foods into our diets. And it was a journey that made me love food even more. Food can be the best or worst thing for us. It is all in how we use it.
I will be taking a break this December to fast from media and mindfully consider the projects and work that I am being called to take on in 2016. I sense a deepening and a call on my spirit to find the places and spaces that need me to go further for Grace, truth, inspiration and depth. I am leaving my heart open to receive the inspiration as it filters in this next month and I sincerely hope that you join with me in 2016 to discover what it is that is there waiting.
There is a sparkle in the unknown and I am captivated by it.
May you look for the sparkle trail that is left for each of us like crumbs that leads to a banquet table. May you listen to the Spirit and collapse in understanding when this beautiful life unfolds one precious day at a time.