I heard the rumble beneath my feet.
A storm warning.
I think we all heard it.
I think we all knew that 2020 would change us.
I’m not sure that any of us knew how much.

How much wreckage, ache and wounds it would leave in its wake.

The people who died.
The people who suffered.
The people who wailed for a nation and a world to wake up.
The people who lost incomes and opportunities.
The people who were trapped.

2020 was a year I proclaimed boldness over my life. I knew that if I was to continue in the direction I was heading, I would need to harness my fears and daily make choices that went against my own tendencies to anxiety. So with an understanding of what it would mean to be bold, I went into the year asking for the grace to keep space for myself and others as I navigated the unknowns, and the confidence to trust the calling.

And then it began.

My steadfast and strong grandfather being taken by cancer in mere weeks, gripping onto my cousin as we grappled with the loss we just couldn’t comprehend and the realization that we couldn’t hold a funeral. The world announcing a pandemic, and staying home to stay safe. Thirty-three people murdered near our city by a man dressed as a police officer. Watching the outcry of the Black Lives Matter movement and discussing the systemic racism found in every corner of our world, including our own mixed-race family. Finding that our current home might not be the best place for our little family to continue growing, trying to sell our little home and find a new one. Kidney stones. Sending our daughter to her first year of a public school during a pandemic with masks in her pockets. A grandmother diagnosed with cancer….

But I see it there.

Boldness.

It’s a golden thread.

It’s in those quiet moments of attempting to hold each other close in the grief despite past traumas and pain. In that persistence in writing applications despite a lack of work opportunities. In the discussions with those in Women in Film about how to better support our BIPOC community. Trusting that our next home was waiting for us as we did the work of preparing and searching. Accepting sponsorship to take online classes from a producer and writer in England and learning how to collaborate with colleagues in new ways. Advocating for my own physical health in an emergency room. Supporting our daughter through so much change into her first year of school. Pitching ideas to broadcasters and honouring contracts. Finding a new sense of ourselves after so much heartache and pain.

& so,

We’ve suffered, and we’ve come out battered and a bit wounded.

I would also argue, that a lot of that wounding and reshaping…

It was for a way to be made new in this new decade.

We are called to new things.

If we stay the same,

Live the way we always have lived

See-through the same lens we’ve always been viewing it all through,

We’ll never be truly becoming.

Making the bold next right move has transformed the way I look at things. The world is a place full of beauty, and full of pain. How we hold space for both of those truths is something that will define us and those around us.

I want to continue into the next year continuing the work that boldness showed me.

It’s possible to call out what is dangerous, what is systemic and harmful and not lose the grace and perspective that allows us to recognize the pain and wounds that have shaped the situations before us.

Ever complex, ever-evolving, ever-changing and always needing someone to hold space for the next bold right thing.

Autumn 2020 Favourites

As we settle into our new home a few new things have settled in with us….

Denby Plates | William Ashley

For reasons that are overly complicated to explain, we found ourselves many years ago without any real plates. Being a romantic at times in all things atmosphere I let whimsy take the wheel and collected a few second-hand items that gave our apartment some charm. Once in our condo loft, replacing plates never seemed important. This time around, being that we are at home more than usual, it felt that investing in a set we adored was important if we could make it work. We did. I love the coastal colours of this denby set. It invites one to sit down and truly have a meal.

2019 Photo Collection | DeSerres Album

It took longer than I had wanted, but finally, during Autumn, I was able to finish the yearly collection of photos. I try to be minimal, but capture the year for Zoë (and at times, us) to look back on with fondness. The last pages are my favourite. Before the pandemic, with best friends and scheming of what is to come next.

Snowdonia Cheese | Atlantic Super Store

I believe we were introduced to this cheese last Christmas by Jeremy’s parents. We have started a family habit of sitting around and having charcuterie together. I’ll never complain about this new tradition. Snowdonia’s cheese is soft, full of taste and utterly divine. Try it!

Howards End by E.M.Forester | Indigo

I first saw this story in the Starz adaption limited series. A four-part episodic that laid out the characters, the plot and the dialogue in such a vivid manner that I couldn’t stop thinking about it. Finally, after a year of thinking about it I realized it would be best if I just read the darn thing. So here I am. Deliciously enjoying every sentence. The theme and core phrase of this book written in the 1920s about the changing classes in England is “only connect”. A simple phrase and value, but brought to today, still rings true. If our only goal in any interaction was to truly only every ‘connect’, how much more compassion, humanity, empathy, understanding, depth and insight would we see in the world?

Future Dew Serum | Glossier

I am still experimenting with this new little friend. I adore it. I do find it works (in giving that glow), but I am working on when it makes sense to use it on my very sensitive skin. Timing in my cycle and weather is everything in regards to skincare.

Balm Dot Calm | Glossier

A lovely gloss to give autumn & winter lips a kiss.

Fall Candle | Okanagon Candle Co.

Trying hard to remember to only indulge in the 100% soy candles. This was an expensive buy (all good soys' tend to be) but it lasted the whole season and I LOVED it.

Nothing Fancy by Alison Roman | Indigo

I admit I have not made anything from this yet, but I will. 2021 is going to see this cracked open and used or I will re-gift/donate. (this is how I roll ya’ll. Use it or give it.)

Amy Trefry

Actor, Producer & Filmmaker

Amy can be found working hard on various projects in both pre-production and production while also making sure to cultivate and continue a supportive collective atmosphere in the Atlantic film and television industry.

Amy is passionate about harnessing her fears through her creative work and has a tenacity that keeps her grounded and open to embracing vulnerability.

She also happens to use her broad experiences in life as a way to connect to the projects and those she works with on a deeper and connective level.

INSTA LIVE INTERVIEW <——

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Top Centre - Clockwise: Blue Jumper with Red/white T | H&M, Aristocats & Lady and the Tramp T’s | H&M, Beautiful and Strong Pyjamas | The Children’s Place, Pink Jumper | Second hand find from Auntie Nicole, Anna & Elsa Art | Etsy, Flower Jeans | Old Navy, Tiger Sweater | Second hand find from Auntie Nicole, Masks | Old Navy & Staples, Black Cat shirt | Second hand find from Auntie Nicole, Snack bag with Teddy Grahams | Super Store, Zoë Apron | Amazon, Etsy & A friends Cricket, Pink Yoga Shirt | Old Navy, Pink Hoodie | H&m, Blue foral & Mustard Long sleeve | Old Navy, Animal upon Animal | Amazon / Watch It Played recommendation, Monkeys in a Barrel | Autumn Weekend gift from Grandma

*Not pictured here: Schoolbag, Lunch Bag & Supplies, Yoga Pants & a few pairs of pants currently in the wash.

New To Her

Disney Graphic T’s

For her first ‘back to school’ capsule. A fun way to start her first year in elementary school. Missing here, 101 Dalmations graphic T. I have kept that one for in the new year for when we watch 101 Dalmations for the first time.

Beautiful and Strong Pyjamas

Like a weed, she grew out of her long sleeve/pant pyjamas and wore a hole through one specific set. I ordered this pair when they went on sale. She ADORES them.

Elsa & Anna Print

A fun purchase for both her and her pre-school friends’ birthday/rooms. Although I don’t want to be that person that gives boring gifts to Zoes friends etc, I also don’t want to be part of the ‘clutter culture’ where what I/we give is meaningless. Who knows how long the girls will be into Frozen, but for this season of their life, a fun print of Anna & Elsa together seemed fitting.

Apron

I ordered this plain apron from amazon, a baking show inspired pin from Etsy, & a friend offered to cricket her name onto the apron & voila, a Great Canadian Baking show costume for Halloween. (she gets such enjoyment out of watching the show).

Yoga Wear

With gym class three times a week and growing out of ALL her pants within a month, we had to scramble to solve the ‘fitness’ wear issue. Thankfully Old Navy has simple affordable athletic wear sets one can quickly order and this top along with the yoga pants (she was probably wearing them when I took this picture) gets worn once or twice a week.

Still Going Strong

Tiger Sweater

First worn last autumn and oversized, this sweater still has a lot of life left with Zoë and it is one of the cutest second-hand items ever.

Pink Hoodie

Purchased for school, we are getting lots of wear with this basic staple.

Long Sleeves

Every kid needs those simple long sleeves to take them through the year.

Time to Go

Pairs of Pyjamas

Not pictured here are 2-3 pyjama sets that she has grown out of / worn through.

Pair of sneakers / skates

Not pictured here are a pair of Zara sneakers & figure skates that have been outgrown.

A summary of November in a vlog…

Started using monthly vlogs as a practice of learning Final Cut Pro.

Baby steps.

Top centre - Clockwise: Tan Oversized Turtle Neck Sweater | H&M, girlfriend jeans | The Gap, Tan Lounge Set | Ambercrombie & Fitch, Cabin Socks | Roots, Tan Turtle Neck Sweater | RW&Co, Future Dew | Glossier, Balm Dotcom | Glossier, Skinny Jeans | The Gap, Green Knit Sweater | Bootlegger, Pleather Stretch Pants | RW&Co, Brown Silk Shirt | Suzy Shier, Black & Merlot Turtlenecks | RW&Co, Burgundy Sweater Dress | La Vie En Rose, Fall Candle | Okenagon candle co, Femme T-Shirt | Dynamite

*not pictured here: yoga wear, a few casual hoodie/sweaters, pyjamas & footwear/ 2 purses.

Being in a new and more spacious home has meant that I have had to get used to how cold it can get. Quite a difference from our smaller loft condo, where the heat of the winter sun and the surrounding condo units help keep the loft toasty even on the coldest of days.

Sweaters have become my best friends.

New to Me

Lounge / Pyjama Set

After hunting for months for an updated cozy pyjama set that would be comfortable for both sleeping and hanging out, I settled on this set. No regrets. Soft, warm & of long-lasting quality.

Turtle Necks

I purchased these three turtle neck long sleeves end of last winter when they went on a mass sale. I had a black one that I accidentally shrunk and knew that when they went on sale, I would pounce.

Still Going Strong

Oversized H&M knit Tan Sweater

Worn at least 2-3 times a week, this sweater gets me through the bitter cold days. I want a few more of these if I could. Perfect size, perfect quality. Perfect style.

Black Pleather Stretch Pants

I believe I purchased these last year and I have no regrets. I adore the texture difference when pairing these pants to sweaters or shirts and they have the comfort of any other pair of leggings.

Girlfriend Jeans

Although aging, these jeans are my favourite for weekend living. They are well used for every season.

Time To Go

Undershirt tank tops

Not pictured here are three different tank tops I purchased from Forever 21 over five years ago that I use routinely underneath shirts/sweaters etc. They are weekly used on rotation and I have started taking note that it’s time to look for a new set.

Being sponsored through Screen Nova Scotia for the third week of teaching with John Yorke was a surprise. We had all only thought the series would be two weeks altogether.

Fresh off of being short-listed for a producer's program through the National Screen Institute, having yet another week with John Yorke was a great way to jump from one training opportunity to another.

Takeaways from the third week of classes:

Be willing to continue pushing a narrative to its next edge.

It's easy to think you have the narrative down. Here are the characters. Here is their world. There is the arc—the end.
Think more in-depth about subverting expectations, hone in on the more profound meaning and message, and ultimately practice thinking outside the box.

Understand your why's and the characters' why's.

Know why you want to create this story, with these characters, this way and with these people. Consequently, understand why your characters matter and why they do what they do. Know the questions they seek to have answered. Know how you want to answer them.

Work as a team

From day one, we were thrown into groups to create a pitch. We had nearly four days to complete, cultivate, and refine a television series for pitching. I was privileged to find myself in a group with two local writers/filmmakers in my province (a surprise to all of us considering the class was full of others from Europe and other countries.) We worked together efficiently, passionately and in the end, found ways to hone in on each other's skills to create a pitch we were all proud of. Of course, given more time, we would have wanted to hone it in even more, but I would say the three of us were quite proud of each other and the process itself.

If I had anything I wish I could have had more from this series, I have to say it is just more time in class with John Yorke.

He has shown himself to be a passionate, self-aware and authentic filmmaker/storyteller while also bringing all of those elements into his teaching - a rare commodity in this world. Anyone can call themselves a teacher, but few actually create a safe space for effective learning.
To learn from someone who wants to share his knowledge, passion and help cultivate anyone to the next level of their learning and professional growth was a major privilege and honour.

Thank-you to Screen Nova Scotia for the opportunity & thank-you to John Yorke for teaching amidst the chaos we have all found ourselves in this year.

I am starting to see a trend…the busier I get, the more books I read….
A coping mechanism for stress.

Felicity | Mary Oliver

Beautiful poems capturing love, life, loss.

The Art of Making Memories | Meik Wiking

A bit repetitive and dry, but an overall pleasant read about why we should think more mindfully about the moments we are in.

The Grace Year | Kim Liggett

A dystopian novel about a year in a girl’s life where she joins her peers in a secluded and remote space, guarded by guards to rid themselves of what is to be believed as the magic that they withhold. A bit of Animal Farm twisted with feminism.

A Prayer Journal | Flannery O’Connor

A literal journal of Flannery O’Connor transcribed from her handwriting. Her awareness of faith, desire to be an artist that provokes thought and meaning along with the self-awareness of one who knows they still have so much to learn and do. I relate a lot to her written down prayers.

The Ride of a Lifetime | Robert Iger

A fascinating look at Robert Iger and his time at Disney. I thoroughly enjoyed his candid look back at his career and honouring those who gave him the leg up in times that provided him opportunities to grow.

Miracles and other Reasonable Things | Sarah Bessey

Sarah Bessey first captured me in her book Jesus Feminist where she challenged the church on how it has treated women historically. She brought to light many deep and beautiful insights on how Jesus treated and looked at women. Quite the opposite of how the North American church has done so over the years. In this book, she tells us of her journey through a horrific car accident that debilitated her and left her having to face her own humanity, purpose and reasons for doing what she does.

Lock Evert Door | Riley Sager

a simple mystery rapid read. A hint of Agatha Christie vibes in the authors’ style.

at Lightfoot and Wolfville, Nova Scotia

Over the past few years, I have been working on a writing project and although I am by no means ready to share it publicly I can say that the heart of it is woven into everything I am and do.

It’s about what one does with a calling.

And how a calling generally doesn’t just come up out of nowhere.

It is asked for to some degree, and then in some way, shape or form, it is provided in a small way.

Something to create. Something to cultivate.

How do we tend to what we are given?

How do we create space for what something needs to be.

Like raising a child.

Or growing a garden.

It takes work.

It takes time and space.

Space to step back, take in all that it is becoming and trim and refine the edges.

To hem in where needed and to let go wild when possible.

This is the creative journey,

It is also the soul journey.

I am interested in that.

What it means to become.

There are many ‘becomes’.

We are not just one layer, but many layers.

We make choices of how we become.

I’d like to think that the years of cultivating and creating has been working to develop and ‘become’ a better version of me.

A version that will produce not just once, but over a lifetime.

A version of me that has roots deep down and brings out the best in others.

A version of me that can weather the storms and shine bright in the sun.

It takes work.

It takes vulnerability.

& this is why I share these thoughts.

I share because I know I am finding the heart of something in all of this private writing and sharing with a select few talented writers.

White Point Beach Resort | An Autumn Cottage Weekend

*as I post this, I recognize our province could announce a second lockdown at any moment. That being said, there are skills and a renewing of the mind that has occured, that even if that has to happen, we are better equipped to handle what it means to create a rhythm inside the home.

March 2020 was a month none of us will forget.

For some, the worldwide pandemic was already at their door. For us in Nova Scotia, it was March when the reality provincial state of emergency was announced.

We changed everything in our lives in a matter of 24 hours.

A bit like being in a snow globe and having everything you knew being shaken and tipped upside down and then right side up again to only wonder how everything will fall into a new place. Or if it ever will stop spinning?

That has left some effects on us.

In our coming and going, we are still living in a state of unknown, of work and life colliding in the home and of many things being delayed or put off indefinitely.

This Autumn, one of my goals was to find some semblance of ‘weekdays’ and ‘weekends’ again.

Having a daughter go to grade primary was a marker for us as a family, and despite the pandemic, it has renewed many things in our lives. We hope she can remain in school l her whole primary year, but we embrace it for what it is for now.

Week Days

Morning routines are back. An alarm goes off, and it isn’t helpful to ignore it in the least.

Work hours are evident in some respects.

The school hours mean we are bound to drop-offs and pickups.

Weekends

time for the home DIY projects

the seasonal activities ‘pumpkin carving, fall walks’ etc.

Errands and household logistics.

Scheduling an event that is safe and within guidelines that provides an exhale.

Life still has been shaken like a snow globe.

Stores don’t open until 11 am.

Extra circular activities are limited and harder to get into

parties, celebrations and events are generally prohibited unless adequately managed.

Planning ahead is difficult.

Yet, somehow we are starting to feel our weekdays and weekends again. I hesitate to say it, but there it is.

We are finding our way back to a right-side-up world, even if the right side to us now was upside down to us before.

We adapt and start realizing the world will always keep spinning, but we can remain standing still amidst it all.

Justine Gelevan

Certified Professional Coach & Consultant

Justine can be found coaching others by meeting them where they are at while also working on building programs that are versatile, relatable and impactful.

Justine is passionate about creating a community of self-improvement junkies and finds fulfillment bringing herself within conversations and digging deep to affect change in another person’s life.

She also has a way of keeping things fun, engaging and relative in all aspects of her interaction with others.

INSTA LIVE LINK <——

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A snippet of our October.

White Point Beach Resort

Working

And the moments in-between.

A new habit I have begun implementing has been taking in the news once a week for an hour as part of my workday.

As a writer and producer, being up to date with my community, province, country and the world is more than helpful. I would consider it part of the job as a storyteller and content creator. To have a pulse on the heartbeat of others, invaluable.

Years ago in Interpreting training, we were taught to stay current with the news and the world around us. I always found this a practical and helpful tool, but with the rise of social media and lack of access to ‘paper’ read news (I prefer to read over watching daily news programs) I found myself only ever checking in during a catastrophic event.

Because news is a constant, overwhelming and often oppressive presence, taking the time in my work week to consume one hour of it intentionally has helped me immensely. It has changed how I view it and has made it less of an emotional journey, and more of intellectual practice.

I have also started doing this to be better equipped to speak to those I interview, to ask the right questions and also, to control how much I allow the '24/7’ news to infiltrate my life.

Obviously, this previous week has been heavy with news updates and current events unfolding.

I can only hope that as I move forward with this habit, I will find ways to continue consuming the news with a mindful, thoughtful and open spirit.

Compiled here on Spotify is a playlist I made for this autumn.

After committing to a subscription, I have been revamping my playlists, which already feels old.

It was a compilation I put together in September.

Stand Out Tracks

ily (I Love You Baby) | Surf Mesa

There is something about this cover that makes me find motivation in the corners of the day.

Forever Young | Rhiannon Giddens and Iron & Wine

This track is special to me for many reasons. In part, it was made for the finale of Parenthood, a show that helped shape my marriage and desire to continue developing healthy relationships with my family. Forever Young was the opening title song, and this rendition happens to be my favourite. It reminds me of why it’s worth it to be there for those you love.

As the Autumn has progressed I am finding the pulse of truth become known to me.

It’s not a new concept by any means.

But it is a practice. A consistency. Meditation in the form of trust and gut.

It’s showing up to serve the work to move it forward.

Moving a project forward can feel invigorating.
It can feel like one is wonder woman and literally saving the day.

It can also feel like monotony.
The dirty work.
The scrubbing the floor just to have millions of feet walk all over it again.

And there it is. That pulse. It is steady and true.

Although one may feel that there is nothing to show for what one did to ‘move it forward’ today. There is an accumulation of days that can bring ‘it’ to the light.

It is something that only tenacity, grace and a bit of a stubborn nature can produce.

May we not discredit our work, no matter how big or how small.
How much the paycheck is or isn’t.
How many likes we receive or don’t.
How loud the applause or how quiet.

May we be more focused on serving the work before us and moving it forward to its next right place, even just a smidge more.

Eventually, we’ll look behind us and realize we climbed a mountain and despite the results and how many people saw,

we did it.

As evident, I may have gone a bit crazy and ordered too many books from the library.
Although I would argue, one could never order too many books from any library.
That being said, it means that these pictures are done haphazardly as I blazed through these reads in order to get them back to the library in time.

The Glass Hotel | Emily St.John Mandel

A story about a money mogul and a few that surrounded him. The way this was written, I just couldn’t get into it the way I had hoped. Not my writing style. I wanted to like it. I struggled with the delivery.

Of Mess and Moxie | Jen Hatmaker

A comedian of sorts, Jen gives her antidotes about life and faith. Some of it felt unoriginal, yet I kept reading because there were a lot of beautiful gems of thoughts tucked in the typical comedian’s rants. It did pack a punch where it mattered.

Road to Riverdale | Various authors

Always interested in adaptations etc. This was another look at how graphic novels/comics often are all done by various artists and storytellers using the characters and world provided. Enjoyed it.

The Lies that Bind | Emily Giffin

The best part of this novel, for me, was the first chapter. It was riveting. I could picture it completely and wanted it to continue as such. Of course, the story weaves out from there but in my own perfect world, we’d capture whatever that first chapter had and make it into a short film or film.

Dear Edward | Ann Napolitano

A heartbreaking and heart inspiring tale of what it means to be the sole survivor of a mass tragedy and grow into yourself and find meaning to continue living despite the loss. I enjoyed this read. Tears at the end.

The Ballad of Songbirds and Snakes | Suzanne Collins

This had to be my favourite of this month. I am utterly reticent about prequels. Ballad of Songbirds and Sakes is the prequel to the Hunger Games Series and it blew me away. To take a character like “Snow” and find out what he was like as a child, where he came from and how he rose to power. Incredible. It also gives incredible insight into the society that we are welcomed into for the Hunger Games Series and it also feels a bit of a warning at times for our own present-day world.

****NOTE: due to technical difficulties Noor’s interview did not come out as clear as we would hope. We look forward to a redo & time we can even welcome her into our studio.

Noor Aubaid 

Brand & Digital Strategist
Creator of the She + Me Podcast

Noor can be found working with others as a Brand & Digital strategist, while also interviewing and celebrating female founders in their journey, lives and work through her podcast She + Me.

Noor is a compassionate and passionate woman who has been actively creating content to show that success doesn’t need to look anyone way and that creativity and inspiration can start from anywhere. 

She also has the insight into what it means to be a creative entrepreneur that enables her to leverage that knowledge and lift up others through all aspects of her work.

Insta Live Link <———

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Podcast

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A little summary on September.

Over the years, we have found a spark of joy in having a lunch date during a typical work week.
In many ways, this is not that special.
Two people going out for just under an hour, to have a meal and then get back to it.
We are one in millions who do this.
But I would argue there is something incredibly inspiring, memorable and empowering about this when done in a way that creates connection and support.

In the run of a week, the amount of time we spend (as parents) telling each other about our work is minimal. There just isn’t enough time, and quite frankly, at the end of the day, who wants to talk about work?

A work lunch date has been our opportunity to share what is going on in our work lives, pitch ideas to each other, be them in literal or abstract forms and generally speaking, find new ways to support each other.

For us, this generally looks like going to our favourite local restaurant, asking each other about our work and genuinely listening. It’s the listening that sparks ideas even in the subconscious. We let our work thoughts flow in and out of the conversation without expectation.

What do an engineer and a writer/producer have in common?

On the surface, nothing.
Nothing at all.

But so much of our work is creative and collaborative in ways that we can both relate and find ways to support each other in the midst of the differences.

dinner with family friends.

Seasons come and seasons go.

Our world is in a season of needing to maintain distance.

It’s crushing.
No matter who you are, true connection is what serves the soul.

I realize that not everyone is going to be able to spend Thanksgiving with others this year.
We are privileged in Nova Scotia, Canada, to have only three active cases and no new cases of COVID in a week, at the moment.

This means we can gather in groups of 10 close people to celebrate.

Settling into a new home means that we are working hard to maintain a new property and revive what we had to set aside for a season of our life.
In many respects, our little shore loft was a haven. A place of refuge as we became new sides of ourselves. As parents, new career paths and new jobs/projects.

Now, it is as if our new home is opening up space for more again.

It could be the restrictions we face, or the lack of communing the past few years of hard work has provided, but either way,

this thanksgiving

I am most thankful for the table.

The opportunity to connect, nourish and revive the soul.

And life is fleeting.

The moments around a table with those you love and learn to love are numbered.
We don’t know when they will end.
We don’t know when the last time we will pass a plate to that person.
We don’t know if they will sit there again or be a bittersweet memory.

This Thanksgiving, however, we sit and eat, I will be relishing and making an effort to harness these table moments into my everyday life.