space | spās | noun
1 a continuous area or expanse which is free, available, or unoccupied
2 the dimensions of height, depth, and width within which all things exist and move
3 an interval of time (often used to suggest that the time is short considering what has happened or been achieved in it)
4 the portion of a text or document available or needed to write about a subject
5 the freedom and scope to live, think, and develop in a way that suits one

This year has sharpened me in ways I was not sure I was ready for or wanted.

For as brave and bold as some may believe me to be, I, too, can cave to the depths of doubt and weakness.

I realized this year that to claim space meant I needed to rise up and hold that space with the confidence I have. To not just fake or pretend but to truly and wholly own.

I was raised in parts but not in whole, on the value of humbleness and meekness within one's womanhood.

Yet something was nagging on me.

Something that brought me to tears when it kept raising it’s ugly head.

It happened simply and quietly when expressing myself around a dinner table.

It went something like this:

"I can give them something unique. I am a skilled storyteller and carry something others don't have. My previous training and way of seeing things make me excellent at what I do."

"You should watch how you say that. That sounds prideful, and it isn't Godly." was the reply.

"It's not prideful at all. If any of the men in this family sat here and said the same thing, I know for a fact they would be praised for their skills and intelligence. The same is true here. I know my skills, weaknesses, and where I need and want to grow. Both can be true." I responded.

It was a simple and symbolic yet crushing moment of realization.

The work was endless.

The struggle might be forever.

I spent months after this exchange navigating my self-doubt and wondering if anything would come of anything.

Yet during that time, I was learning what I was worth and what I was willing to do to make the effort I could make known.

I found that effort and work within a project of holding space for others.

This is my passion, and I have learned this more than any other this year.

I am meant to hold space for myself to do the heavy and essential work of holding space for others.

It won't stop here.

This word.

This theme.

It's a lifetime commitment.

Just because a new year comes and with it a new word,

Space will remain a word that I will hold and continue to strive for.

I pray as 2022 turns 2023 that, our pauses of reflections of the days behind us remind us of the sacred and beautiful art of being wholly and fully capable in our places.

None of it is a mistake.

Every single moment is here for the teaching.

The making and the breathing.

Thank you, 2022, for being the year that reminded me of the true intent behind the work.

Onwards,

Flat-lay of objects on a wooden table: A green box with the words in gold “Writers Tears”, black headphones, a small green book called Rules for a Knight by Ethan Hawke, An illustrations of a girl in a quilt holding her phone outside of herself in one hand. A white gourd. Part of a autumnal floral pattern on a pillow.

I am amazed that Autumn has came and progressed as fast as it has. Here are a few of my favourite autumnal things.

Writers Tears Whiskey | NSLC

I have grown to appreciate sips of Whiskey over the colder months & alongside new episodes of Outlander. It felt timely that I would come across this right after signing a contract I worked hard to get. A truly creamy experience. The box rests in my office bookshelf as a reminder of the work it takes to get where you need to go next.

Sennheiser HD 25 Headphones | Long & McQuade

As I am embracing my passions and work in audio documentary storytelling I figure the headphones good enough for BBC reporters are good enough for me. So far they have been comfortable, easy to use and allow me to hear what I am recording without being too bulky in the filed.

Rules for a Knight by Ethan Hawke | Gift from a Bestie

I am not sure how she knew this book was on my radar, but either way, I adore Ethan Hawke’s take on life and creativity. I found his work and life phlilosohys at just the right time and I am so moved by the projects he chooses. Rules for a Knight is a beautiful little collection of ways to go about life in the guise of a long ago Knight leaving notations for his children in case he passes before he can tell them.

Speak to Me! Beth Freeman Illustration Art | Beth Freeman

Beth illustrated this beautiful image for an article and audio piece I created for CBC & CBC Radio. During such a vulnerable time (year one of the pandemic) I found such peace and solace in Beths imagery. I am finally getting around to framing this gem.

Gourds | Local Purchases

Last year I bought a velvet pumpkin decor item from Winners and returned it after living with it for a week. I personally can’t get around buying decor items that come from nature naturally. Although being a seasonal purchase, these purchases remind me that I am supporting local farms who grow gourds and pumpkins for this very purpose. I love how nature creates the curls in the stems and the shapes of each one.

Autumnal Pillow cover | Chapters

This floral pillow covers are as floral as I get. (outside of real flowers)
I love the autumnal atmosphere of this print and I have been waiting for an autumn pillow cover for my set that I liked enough to purchase.

Another Autumn, another Spotify playlist to listen along to the falling leaves with.

I’ll Be There | Overcoats

How this song is delivered lyrically and musically reminds me of what 'solidarity’ truly means. We all need someone who will be this for us. We don’t need many, but those select few matters.

“The world wants to break your stride, but you are worth every star in the sky….”

Blessings Everywhere | Elevation Worship, Brandon Lake

In a time when this world is more divided, taking time during the autumn season to recognize the good, the blessings and all that is well is a refreshing and healing move. I find during autumn; I crave these reminders.

The Phantom of the Opera | Prague Cello Quartet

I have a secret and deep passion for the Cello. I began learning it years ago but had to return my rental for practical reasons. I am eagerly awaiting the window in life where I see a margin to jump on learning more Cello again. In truth, it is more me than the piano. The Phantom of the Opera is the first musical that I believe I was able to master on the piano with efficiency. Although rusty from being packed away, this specific rendition has inspired me to revisit the sheet music I had in storage.

2:20 - 2:40 gives me the shivers EVERY SINGLE DANG time.

Just Fine | Desiree Dawson

A calming reminder of something more profound. I love finding new voices that speak truth and beauty into the world.

Cheers | Shakey Graves

Another encouraging tune with those deep thoughts backing them.

Image description: Amy in a white tennis dress leaning on the floor in roller skates.

This summer, I focused on something I needed, something I wanted and a memory maker.

I have no regrets about these additions.

Black Weekday Shorts | RW & Co

These shorts are an essential addition to my late spring and summer wardrobe. One doesn’t always want to wear a skirt to meetings. They are airy, tie well and thus far show themselves to be very durable.

White Tennis Dress | RW & Co

I tried on many versions of tennis dresses and had given up hope finding them all very unflattering to my body type. The algorithms must have noticed my searching as this white dress appeared on my feed on sale, and I gave it one last shot. This dress is everything I had been looking for. Built-in shorts, form-fitting but not too tight, a pocket for keys or a phone…you name it.

Blue Hoodie | White Point Beach Resort

We spend our vacations at White Point Beach, and this hoodie is a warm and comforting reminder that our cozy coastal beach vacation memories will come around again next year. A well-made hoodie for all who know what an east coast wind is like.

Rushing and racing and running in circles
Moving so fast, I'm forgetting my purpose
Blur of the traffic is sending me spinning, getting nowhere

My head and my heart are colliding, chaotic
Pace of the world, I just wish I could stop it

- Emmy Rossum - Slow Me Down Lyrics

Since the beginning days of 2022, I have felt this build-up of unrest and concern. Something within was becoming at odds with the world around me. I have learned over the years that this often occurs before or during significant change.

The Summer of Slow is a meditation to remind me of my values in my personal and professional life.

What it looks like:

• Maintaining a strong AM / PM Routine (morning workout, breakfast, journals - bedtime routine etc.)

• Everything between the AM / PM routine is unscheduled (don’t freak out: appts, and contract deadlines still maintain a place in the calendar)

• A weekly beach day or evening

• Write a letter weekly (communicating with those I love slowly)

• Document mindfully (follow the inspirations and whims)

• Read for work & pleasure often.

• Visit the library often.

The world we live in is not a world that is geared to slow, yet the best and most provocative work I have been moved by so often has the story of years of thought and mindful work behind it.

I want to be that type of person.

The one who puts every ounce of insight thought, and curiosity into their work.
One can only do that at a mindful pace and from a place of intentional space.
Yet structure is where the work is honed, which is what I also seek to find in my Summer of Slow.

I seek to mine the gemstones of meditative thinking, processing, being and creating.

The underpinnings of what it means to slow the heartbeat to hear the world around me so that when I speak and move, I am doing it from a place of anchored confidence, compassion and intentions.

Onwards,

The noise of the world is getting me caught up
Chasing the clock and I wish I could stop it
Just need to breathe, somebody please
Slow me down

For almost six years I have documented my seasonal wardrobes.

For one, I was starting from scratch postpartum after donating many of my previous clothes for either their irrelevancy to my new life as a mother and writer, their ill fit (ask any mama with a raised rib from the third trimester…that is a permanent deal) or plain ol’ wear and tear.

I enjoyed making mindful choices about what to add to my seasonal wear and found that living in Nova Scotia really did mean that a four-season wardrobe was necessary.

Now,

I have curated the foundations of what I can maintain, replace when needed and add where I want to.

These little summaries will now highlight the three main outfit additions to the season.
My main goal is to only focus on three areas of need (or want) per season. Keeping minimalism the focus and consumerism at bay, yet still allowing room for changes.

For this Winter:

Christmas Pyjamas | From Victoria Secret. They are loose, comfortable and in a pattern I love. (previous sets are showing age)

Aritzia Lounge Wear | I have long since oogled how comfortable the Aritzias Tna line is. Starting the New Year with this set has been a joy. Many rainy, snowy Scotian storm days in this set.

Queen of Heart T-Shirt | I wanted something pink and fun for February, yet didn’t have anything. Being a sucker for a graphic t, this queen of hearts t from Etsy fit the bill for me.