pre teen in a sparkly pair of doc marten boots.

It’s been said that you are 100% who you are at your core by the time you're ten years old.

At ten years old, I was falling in love with the role and joys of ‘best friend’, eyeing boys who could hold intelligent conversations, reading stacks of books, writing lists, ideas, and story ideas on scraps of paper, and beginning to develop my love for films, music and playing an instrument.

It is an honour to be a parent of a ten-year-old, to hold space for their interests, whims and desires, and to learn that, in doing so, I am healing parts of myself that went unexplored.

Waiting in line for a Bryan Adams Concert : Roll with the Punches Tour

Doc Martens were not on my radar as a shoe option for myself in the ‘90s and early 2000s. Despite being popular and worn by all the cool kids in the grades around me, I was often relegated to hand-me-down shoes or directed toward more practical, feminine options. I eyed the girls who walked with confidence and recognized the quiet power these boots gave them. I even remember studying my young uncle’s Doc Marten shoes when he came in from university classes. The way he pulled them off without untying them, and the bold stitching they had.

Fast forward almost three decades, and the ten-year-old I am raising, who points out Doc Martens on our outings.

“I love these.” I would love to have them someday.”

Through her eyes, I realize how much I have resisted this option for myself. I had let myself believe that Doc Martens were a shoe for the edgy, grunge emo youth I never had.

Ridiculous.

When we sat down to order her first pair, I decided to pull an ace out of my sleeve and reclaim the ’90s pre-teen youth I might have had if being edgy and cool were welcome in the house I grew up in, and get my own pair alongside hers.

Together, we put on our boots and walked into her first rock concert, where we learned even more about her interests, passions, and her way of processing the world around her.

On the outside, these are just boots.
On the inside, for me, these are steps I am learning to take, one foot after the other, to understand who I and my daughter individually are at our deepest core.

Be it girly, grungy, or everything in between.

Ace of Spades for 2025 played to reclaim the 1990s grunge era I would have thrived in.

Why?

If you are anything like me, I often live in the future. I plan, aim, and predict while life is playing out in front of me.
An act of symbolism and ritual anchors me in the moment.

Setting a wild yet attainable goal often gives me purpose and something to live for in the every day, keeping me anchored. Yet so often, once I have reached that goal, I am busy planning the next one and not savouring the moment as I should.

Leaving an Ace card behind gives me the opportunity to savour what has been achieved. It is a tangible, personal way I can honour the moment without too much planning or fanfare.

How?

Be as simple and understated or as extravagant and bold with your chosen location.

A simple ‘pull it out of your pocket’ and leave it on the seat behind you where your goal/moment occurred, or a lipstick kiss implanted on the card while you slip it between memos for someone to find after you receive that raise…
It’s all up to you.

***I plan to leave one behind at a specific location very, very soon. Although they have been alerted of our plans for change, this is a symbolic gesture that we did what we needed to do for ourselves as a family.
It was an exploration journey of what else might be out there that evolved into a new adventure and an ace card is soon to be played - left behind in a crevice somewhere as a token of bravery and determination.

The Ace Dare
How to Take the Dare
The Ace Dare Journal Prompts

Aces

Aces.

Amy Grace wearing black holding ace playing cards. Font overlay reads: A Year of Aces - 2024 - byamygrace

ace1 | ās | noun

1 a playing card with a single spot on it, ranked as the highest card in its suit in most card games: the ace of diamonds | life had started dealing him aces again figurative.

2 a person who excels at a particular sport or other activity.

3 a service that an opponent is unable to touch and thus wins a point.

PHRASES

an ace up one's sleeve.
a plan or piece of information kept secret until it becomes necessary to use it.
hold all the aces.
play one's ace.

I took unusually long to find a word that would encompass this new year. In fact, I left it until the last twelve hours of 2023. What choosing a word for each new year has taught me, is that they are incredibly prophetic, delightfully inspiring and deeply powerful.

Why Ace?

Too long I have played it safe. I have played the lowest to lower cards in my hand because it kept me safe from criticism, safe from the unknowns and most importantly safe from risk.
I have flirted with playing more risky hands from time to time, but almost always I find my way back to that safe place where I feel sure that I won’t loose anything in the process.

In many respects this has served me well.
My professional and personal growth have all paced at a speed that I can manage, I have been able to maintain bridges with those who have come in and out of my life and for the most part I have been able to maintain my own desired lifestyle in a manageable way.

Yet this pace has become altogether too slow.
I have been holding on to projects, opportunities, ideas, skills, words and adventures as if playing them would risk it all.
Maybe it will.
But
Maybe it won’t.

This year I am going to be watching, learning and discerning how and when to play my aces.

This year I am going to learn to embrace the risks.

& this year, I am going to stop playing it safe.

Onwards,

PREVIOUS ONEWORDS

2023
2022
2021
2020