con·ver·sa·tion | ˌkänvərˈsāSHən |

noun

a talk, especially an informal one, between two or more people, in which news and ideas are exchanged: she picked up the phone and held a conversation in French | [mass noun] : the two men were deep in conversation.

Conversation is happening all around and within us.

What does that look like?

The exchange of news and ideas?

Social Media has given us the licence to sound off. To believe we are carrying a conversation when in truth, it is a sounding board of one.

How often are we genuinely crafting our words to create a dialogue that moves past the 'me vs. you?'

5 Simple ways we can create a safe space in a conversation:

1. Drop and remove any name-calling from referencing a person or group of persons. e.g. clowns, idiots, etc.

When we rely on a caricature of an individual or group, we strip 'others' of their humanity and their identity as living and breathing individuals on this earth.

2. Know your values and realize that others' values will never perfectly align with yours.

When we truly honour our values, it's much easier to relax into the idea that someone else may be different. We stop being so concerned with the differences, become more content with our choices, and get curious about what makes others who they are.

3. Get curious.

When divisive statements/topics arise, realize there is often so much more than the statement beneath what is said. Upbringing, age, culture, personal experiences, and generational wounds are the backing of many of these strong stances.

4. Recognize you cannot change minds.

Instead of trying to convince someone of something, stand by your values and perspective while expressing yourself. Often it's our own calm and unwavering convictions that speak louder than any debate ever could.

5. Never tolerate bullying/racism /hate etc.

Safe space cannot exist within the atmosphere of bullying, racism etc. When this occurs, shut it down, don't negotiate or tolerate it.

I am reminded of Maya Angelou's statements when a racist comment was said in her house during a party she was hosting.

"I'm convinced that the negative has power. It lives. And if you allow it to perch in your house, in your mind, in your life, it can take you over. So when the rude or cruel thing is said—the lambasting, the gay bashing, the hate—I say, "Take it all out of my house!" Those negative words climb into the woodwork and into the furniture, and the next thing you know, they'll be on my skin."

You do the courageous thing, a small one, and you like yourself. And then you do another two, three, and you like yourself better. And before you know it, you are able to say, "Excuse me, not in my house, you don't. You don't paint my walls with poison and vulgarity. You will not do it in my house. Out. Is this your purse? Thank you. Bye."

- Maya Angelou

My Question:

How can we communicate authentically and respectfully?

Communication plays a huge role in most, if not all professions.

Professionally and personally, I take communication seriously. I am hard pressed to not take deep note of how body language and words are presented. Since focusing my work away from the interpreting field, and into writing, working amongst creatives, and the performance industries, I have noticed how the communication style various in huge ways.

This presents itself through email, one on one conversations, social events in a crowded room or even just a glance as we pass eachother in the street.

There is no one size fits all in the performance / artistic industries.

The biggest thing we can ever do for each other professionally and personally is to seek clarification when there is a shimmer of confusion or doubt on the intent of a communication, be it verbal or physical.

Especially as a woman, we are in a world today where miscommunication can be the complete break down of a professional / personal experience.

What I wonder at and am theorizing, is how good we are at accepting that someone was put off, hurt or misunderstood by our own intent? How they might have got it wrong, and we also might have communicated wrong?

We can’t get it right 100% of the time, we are human after all. What makes us think that we are above that?

I ask this question not because I seek to create positive and empowering experiences with those I communicate with and I know that I won’t get it 100% right all the time. There is no world in which I will, and I would hope and trust, that those around me would be capable and empowered enough to seek that clarification from me, challenge me and continue to pass me grace for when I didn’t have the words or ways in which they needed.

Personally and professionally, this is what I desire.