Life is short.
That is what they say.
When we are children, our friends are those we source in the places we find ourselves.
School, lessons, neighbourhood, clubs, other children of our parents friends.
From late teens into young adulthood, this continues in many ways.
Post-secondary education, work, extra classes attended, eventing, friends of friends.
As adults, a shift occurs.
Somewhere between young and full-fledged adulthood, we lose friends, gain friends and find that friends might be farther away. Not gone, but not here.
Job changes, marriages, breaks ups, babies, and work schedules pile on, and all of a sudden, we look around and have to ask ourselves:
Who am I?
Who are you?
It’s a strange place to be when you realize you have grown past the usual way you would have connected with others.
A foreign land with no proper road or directions to tell you, ‘This way to the intellectuals sitting around a table exchanging ideas’ or ‘This way to the new moms who won’t judge you.’
Despite the lack of directions, I believe if you are looking, there is a way to land on finding the ‘ships’ that will keep your metaphorical boat afloat.
Know your own personal values and lifestyle values
Suppose you know your values both internally and externally. In that case, you will automatically know if a ‘ship’ will work because your differences complement each other or the alignment brings out a more profound sense of belonging.
Connect over something
In my closest ‘ships,’ something continues to bring us together. Be that a TV series you watch together, a hobby, the gift and desire of a good gab or work.
Notice the energy exchange.
We all know what it feels like to have the air sucked out of the room. That moment when you realize you are not actively participating in an exchange but rather doing your best to survive it. Although in ‘ships’, the energy exchanges can shift, and everyone takes turns giving more than receiving and vice versa, what should feel and be authentic is understanding how that can naturally ebb and flow without repressing yourself.
Manage Expectations.
Everyone gives and receives differently in ‘ships,’ but you must know and decide for yourself what you expect to get out of the relationship. When it becomes clear that achieving within the dynamic is impossible, either shift expectations or take a step back. Why carry bitterness around?
Notice How you feel after an interaction.
Those who bring out the best in you will make you feel content, blessed and seen.
