This was an amazing wrap to our year.  This meeting of the regulars with the new.  I have learned these nights have more to do with trusting the process and what needs to happen and come about then the 'too many plans'.  Don't get me wrong, I think this type of thing that we do needs a 'plan' in place, but there has been an environment created over time that has made having an idea capable of landing in the centre of the evening possible.  How that idea unfolds is left to a plan bigger than the planner. 

And thats what happened here.  This night in November.

I truly believe that those who can show up, be them new or regular attenders are meant to be in these conversations that unfold.

An architects manifesto project started us off and changed my heart.  Suddenly the questions and struggles I was working through in my work had come face to face with the humble words she had written.  

Past colleagues of an old life sat on a couch and related in ways that is beyond the plans and they filtered light into places we all needed to see.

We called out a writer to take that time.  That hard decision and struggling realization that there is a need that needs to be met and yet how?  How do we meet the needs of our spirits without crushing the needs of others?  Yet being a maker, an expresser is the most natural and purest form of a person that not meeting those needs of the self is not meeting the needs of those others.  So it's a cycle we have all known, a cycle we face again and again.

And I breathed a sigh of relief at how different and similar these people are.  How one can bring me spun around to a new thought, yet at the same time end up nose to nose with the same emotion I have carried.  

It's a unity thing.

This group.

What was created...It wasn't because of me opening up a home.

I relinquish that concept.

It was because everyone opens up.

And without that humble, open, vulnerable, safe and encouraging atmosphere,

It wouldn't be.

It couldn't have ever been.

So I thank-you, you creative warrior women.  I thank-you for traveling 2014 together and welcoming those who can come by.  I thank-you for teaching me that each step means something, and that it's the coming together that matters. 

Thank-you for all the conversations we have had in 2014 and all the conversations we will have in 2015!  I am humbled and honoured to be apart of your lives.  

For some reason this particular night stands out amongst the many.  It was a night pre scheduled to accommodate the Halloween Friday that was to be our night.  An earlier week in the month than what we are used to.  This was the week we needed this most.

In many ways, all these women are growing from where they started.  They are glowing with progress and even new faces seem to have come from places of experience and an understanding for the 'hard worker' one has to be in this world.

Yet:

As sold out as we all are on our crafts, we sighed a huge relief at the stories that came from around the table.  An architect-to-be made and poured us tea as we realized that it is 'balance' we crave.  And the process to find it is at times, brutal.

"What keeps you motivated to keep going?"  Is all I had to ask.

A deluge of insecurities, rediscovery and self identity was bounced off each other.

A Writer-Mom-to-Be , I soaked in the truth of discovering the self again and again.  

I think we all felt it, because there was something that settled this time around.  Something deep and that resonated with the core of us.  What one shared was like the heart beat of another.  Sometimes, it is possible to sit down and relate.  Sometimes even the pregnant writer can understand the artist.  And sometimes the artist can relate to the photographer.  

It's just how it is when you open yourself up to relating.  

So heres to more relating to each other and more nights of us around the table and trying our hardest to work through finding the rest of us through and around our work. 

In lieu of actual photo from the night : A photo from a Summer Party around the table, 

It's a new season, and everyone arrived with the same relief of getting back into some sort of schedule and life together.  It's a funny thing, this group of women that has collected around my living room over the past year and half.  The group that always swells over the months and yet comes back to the same core women. 

Strong women who push boundaries in their lives and work.  Women who are young, yet somehow taking on the world one month at a time.  The wine glasses on the most part, were left behind as we got into the meat of things.  The food was enjoyed, yet somehow it was left as we heard the adventures of the summer and the challenges of this new season before us.

An artists trip to Spain, a photographers summer of weddings, an Architects summer challenges and a freshman at the beginning of a theatre degree ... all these conversations lead us to discuss what brought us together to begin with.  

Striving to not just do, but do well and do amazing... it is a challenge this journey of Creative & Innovative, but with each other, no matter what stage of life we are in, student, newly independent artist or new mother to be.  

We are makers.

Heres to another season of making!  

In all it's forms.

In all it's and ways. 

Dear Ladies,

Summer is when things mature and grow.

Remember those good old days in school.  The days when September rolled around and you showed up and your classmates looked different?  Some older, some with different trendy hair styles.  Others with teeth missing, or a new piercing.  Things always stayed the same but somehow changed at the same time. 

I am watching you create, be, expierence and take rests in these glorious few months!  I am so thankful to see the photographs linger on my computer screen as I scan the updates.  These are growth moments.  These are the times of experience that will take hold of your work...

Do not doubt the rest or the work that you feel called to do .  Summer is a season to rest in what is.  And what is, is where you are at. 

Be where you are at.  If you have a job, work for the thrill of an artist with a pay check no matter the occupation.  An artist with money in their pocket is an artist with a secret investment to be made.  If you are in that tough spot of scavagening food and money, don't despair.  There are things growing, things that are growing for you.  Work on your craft, rest from your craft, do both as if it was your living.  When you rest.  Rest.

When you work, work.

You inspire me.

You keep me going.

You remind me to do.

Make.

Live.

I cannot do it without the echo of my sisters making along side.  I hope your summer is teaching you.  I hope you are feeling the summer sunlight soak into your pours and revitalize you.  Because, ladies I have to tell you:

There is a harvest coming.  

A harvest that will bless you, encourage you, move you and bring you into a new place.

I hope you are ready for what this Autumn will bring, because after a summer like this, you can only expect to be gathering and harvesting for a very long time.

Amy Grace 2014

So rest in the summer months of the growth of your work, life and experiences.  Don't beg it to grow faster, because it is at the pace it needs to be.

And while you wait, live and do.

Until September when we toast again over a glass of wine and something scrumptious.

Amy Grace. 

This month was without a doubt, a collaboration of just three minds. 

This is the time of year when artists are coming and going.  They are traveling and amidst multiple different projects.  Ultimatly May was quiet, but three art women sat at a table and started talking.

"What were you going to talk about today?"  One asked.

"Well this... but, it doesn't seem relevant." I indicated at the paper in front of me. 

"Not now, no." She replied.

And thus is the way of collaboration, someone shares, another responds and all of a sudden you are working on a multiple minded project.

This is what the night became.  A conversation of collaboration on 'collaboration'.

"What do you do if collaborating is hard?" I posed

"Where is the commitment to collaborate?" I searched.

These are tough questions and the communication of the answers even tougher.

"Communication." One responded.

"What if communication is disjointed and hard?" I asked

I was throwing questions at two collaborators I hold dear. 

"There are two kinds of people Amy."  this  'photographer-girl-friend' of mine said.  "There are those like you, and those like me."

What she meant:

There are the motivators, the organizers, schedule keeper creatives who spear head projects.

and then

There are the joiners, the sporadic, the follow the muse and follow your nose creatives who join in on projects.

"And isn't that so true." I replied.

"But what happens when you have two Motivators trying to collaborate?"  I wondered

"Two Joiners trying to collaborate?"

And we discussed:

Clear communication on what expectations are, is paramount to maintaing a healthy balance and strong outcome of work.

So this 'Collaberation?' night, became a true and honest "Collaberation" night.

Without these two women, who are both collaborators with me on multiple projects, I would not have come out with a stronger and deeper topic for the month.

Sometimes it is those that join with you, that bring you to that "Titling Project" moment.

"I dont understand why you feel so strongly on collaboration."  one solo artist had said confused.

But I have a better understanding now more than ever.

Collaboration brings a whole new perspective, understanding and expierence.  

Collaboration brings unity, depth and life. 

Collaboration is nothing without honest clear communication.

The struggle of Collaboration is nothing to be ashamed of.  It is a true and amazing journey of multiple spirits working together for an end product.

What a difference a table can create.  After much labour of love "Barkton Place" home D.I.Y. Project was completed and the table with six chairs now was covered in food and glasses of wine and other beverages.  New faces and old faces attended this gathering and we were all relieved to finally share in another friday night together.

This month was the beginning of change in a lot of these lives.  In all this hustle and bustle of creativity, each artist was going through some sort of development in their work.  

Even waiting.

Waiting in and of itself is development.  What develops while you wait, for one soon to be architect student, is the growth of what that outcome will have.  

Interested to see how these women were dealing with their need to hold in / share / communicate their work or lack thereof , a question was posed.

"As an Artist/Creative, what does it mean to have a safe person to share with?  Do you have one?"

Mostly stemmed from my own discoveries and revelation from Julia Camerons' "Walking in this World" 

"One of the trickiest issues in a creative life is the issue of private support and encouragement for our creative leaps - no matter how they are received.  As artists, we do not need private adulation, but we do need before, during, and after friends, those people who love and accept us no matter what our current creative shape and size.  We need friends who understand that a creative success may bring an onslaught of pressures nearly as devastating as a creative failure."

The responses:

• "I have a safe few people but it was a journey to discover who is enriching to your life and who isn't.  For me, It's more about who is a positive more than a negative."
• "Having a safe person to talk to, is as simple as life or life.  Death perhaps not in a physical sense, but mentally, emotionally...it allows you to keep moving - When you would otherwise be stuck.  Without movement in the creative mind, there can be utter confusion and stagnant waters.  Having a safe person continues the ebb and flow of the creative tide."
• Having someone to share your ideas and be confident that they will be honest with their opinions.

Our discussion weaved in and out of topics and we agreed that being able to vent when confusion comes while having someone who will give advice to get you back on track is imperative.

It is in the knowing who to go to.  You don't need to get all from one person.  In having 'safe people' to go through the process of being a creative, is taking the time to know yourself and know who you need to talk to in the moment. 

The thing with unsafe people who can say damaging things to our inner artist child, is that they are not being deliberate (for the most part).  Most of those lovely people, are simply not equipped or made to be aware or sensitive to the process that we are going through in that moment. 

It was comical.  To have a small group of women and no real voice to use to communicate with them.

It was that time of year.  When spirits start to sag, immune systems go down and suddenly, although Spring has arrived the weather has not yet fully turned and we are anxious.  

For myself, attending a film workshop the day before and being sent home due to not being well enough to be in front of a camera.  Debilitating.  An artists spirit is to work and when work is like a slug how do we cope?

I laid the question on the table.  Knowing they would see.

"What are the struggles so far in 2014?"

Each arrived and suddenly I heard a quip.

"Do you want me to write an essay?"

It seemed the timing was right on mark with these Halifax Creatives.

The answers?

• Comparing myself to others
• Accepting, transisiotning out of things and into new things
• Feeling inspired, yet lacking the desire to follow through
• Self Doubt
• Physical distractions (Sickness etc.)
• To be clever
• Money, or lack thereof 
• People
• Condifence

And as one so perfectly put it:  "Well, theres the whole 'life' thing..."

How do we overcome our personal issues and use them to benefit our work and energy rather than getting bogged down by them?

Simply that

Use it.

Take the lack of confidence and turn it into a piece about 'simply that'.

Get at work whether it feels good or not.

Creatives are not brilliant because every piece they create is brilliant.  No,  they are brilliant because they work at their craft whether it is understood or not.  Whether it is appreciated or not.  Whether the pay is there or not.  Whether they are healthy or not.  

Creatives create because they were called to.

We began to listen to one another, and listening during a season of 'lack' can be exactly what a spirit needs.  Listening to the heart beat of another, the doubts of your inner self...

"Doubt is a signal of the creative process.  It is a signal that you are doing something right - not that you are doing something wrong or crazy or stupid.  The sickening chasm of fear that doubt triggers to yawn open beneath you is a huge abyss into which you are going to tumble, spiralling downwards like you are falling through the circles of hell.  No, doubt is most often a signal you are doing something and doing it right."  - Julia Cameron 'Walking in this World'

February brings us a full two months into the new year and many who attended have multiple projects beginning.  I opened the night up for those who could, to bring their work to share.  The results of the discussion and sharing was inspiring.  I believe that I was so moved after this night, I found it hard to commit the time to attempt at capturing how this evening went.

Grab a treat & answer a question...

This month, the focus was on how to find the right time and atmosphere to match the needs and desires of each individual 'creative' in the room.  Each of us have different lives and different ways we focus in on our work.

"What is your best creative time of day / atmosphere?" 

Creative Time of Day

• A solid section of time (Full Morning, full afternoon, or full evening)
• Late late late in the wee hours of 12am and on
• Late 10pm - midnight/wrapping up at two or three am

Creative Atmosphere

• Pinterest
• Music
• Working outside
• Driving time in car alone
• Bathtub alone and quiet
• White noise
• Dead quiet
• Food

It became very clear that a lot of 'creatives' feel an inspiring connection to the night hours and are 'for the most part' all living in a 'Day Persons World'.

Crayons for the multi-taskers in the room. 

Navigating this, while knowing our most individual natures of how each 'creative' creates is critical to getting plans and dreams into action. Some rebel at deadlines and feel if we are 'told' to do something we become lethargic and care a less, but if we take ownership over our own work the desire never leaves.  

Everyone has there own ticks and tocks to what makes us work.

After discussing these things the conversation was directed into how to take work independent after 'school' structure is over.  The advice from one woman who has been balancing an intense career, along side her art career, expressed the concept of blending the two when neccessary. 

All 'creatives' need to eat, but worrying about it is only a waste if you don't make a plan.  "At a young age and an early start, she encouraged "'creatives' have more control on how they want their paths of work and art to go.  Always be true to your self."

Taking the time to see the work of the women who attend is an incredible treat and a reminder of the amazing talent that sits in the room.  

Having a belief system that everyone is an artist/creative/innovator at the core, only opens the mind to the type of work that one could do.  Seeing the paintings, portfolio, and quick peeks at their work is an underlining moment to the truth of art.  It comes from each individuals heart and spirit, and that is why it is worth doing.

"You know the marble game?  I feel like the marble on the top." - A quote from a creative 'describing where she was at in her projects & journey'.

Goal: An open invitation to all Creative and Innovative Women. An open space for artists to share, be inspired and have a safe place to be surrounded by like minds.

We started out with this goal last January and now this year we are taking that goal into a new form. A form of intentionally 'led' discussions and more structure to give a better space and time for the more unstructured tangents that creatives can fall into.

©2014 Nicole Payzant

The Rabbit Hole of Wonderland is often how I describe these tangents to myself. They are everything we should want to fall into as artists, to capture the magic of thought, discussion, ideas and projects. The question of Rabbit Holes, is how to take the time before the fall, to enhance the wonderland experience by allowing intentional discussion?

We opened up the night with a question. "What gets you off the couch/inspires you to create?"

View fullsize

©2014 Nicole Payzant

The answers we found were varied and many:

• Group projects, collaboration inspires: Sharing what is learned. 
• Words of Inspiration 
• Music, mood music
• Coffee! Talking with people about ideas, helping me develop them.
• Being around passionate people.
• Relating to people
• Changing it up: Challenging self in different styles/ventures
• Meanings not yet quantified, the journey to understand the not understood. 

©2014 Nicole Payzant

Creative and Innovative women/people and even those who haven't identified themselves as such yet, all have dreams, goals and visions. Those things may be identified and at other times may be somewhere inside yet still unknown.

Setting aside the time to work on one of those few things can be the ultimate gift for your inner-self. Even if you don't have a vision yet, taking that time, to write, paint, doodle, list, bake, sing, etc more routinely is an excellent way to spark the energy of the goal. 

We ended with a challenge. The challenge to dig deeper into dreams and visions and write them down. Putting words to your own goal or project, 'Titling' as I called it in an earlier article is exactly what will kickstart creatives and innovators to working and producing.

We delved into sharing and had a wonderful time of honest reflection on each woman's work. Some of us are studying, others are grappling with the inner-creative, and others are coming upon projects that need to be named and focused in on.

What I have learned from this month, is that no one can predict what will happen when you get creative women in a room and start discussing and asking. Falling down the Rabbit Hole to Wonderland is inevitable. My challenge and question now for this group, will be how to direct these evenings in a way that makes the Rabbit Hole to Wonderland a productive journey for all those in the room.

Setting up a flexible structure that every woman will feel safe, challenged, supported and uplifted.

©2014 Nicole Payzant