For years, I have allowed an inferiority complex to affect my confidence in the craft of playing the piano. After much reflection (I will write on that in upcoming projects), I was able to unearth my very real lack of confidence and belief in my passion for music, the piano, and the art of playing for the joy of it.

In honour of my Baldwin, which I am coming to terms with that needs to be replaced, I have been reflecting on the genuine art and craft of playing piano

Mind

To my second teacher's chagrin, I had mostly skimmed over piano theory as a young child. To her credit, she imparted in me a relentless study of the art of sight reading and although unable to pick up a complex chopin like a professional pianist and play it without hesitation or perfection, I am able to skim play the most simple and complex of pieces for understanding and follow that up to take each bar at a time, each measure, each hand and break it down.
Without this skill, the pieces I play would lack in their quality.

Body

It’s easy to become self-conscious about how you look as you play. When I play at my best, I often find I look ridiculous. To be lost and fully immersed in music is to be free of self, aware only of the notes, the sound, the cadence, and the moment that you are in. For the body as well as the mind, music and playing instruments are a form of meditation, and letting go and letting go of your physical self is half the battle.

Soul

I play not because I am perfect but because I am fed by the playing. There is a room inside al of us that is warm, breezy and free from judgement. This room I find in music, the sound of the ocean and the weightless feeling of a memorized piece of music falling out of my fingertips.
I have always chased the ability to return to this room no matter how many dark hallways life likes to place in my way.

Wabi Sabi | Beth Kempton

A beautiful exploration of the meanings and feelings behind the Japanese concept of wabi-wabi and how we have misunderstood it for years.

A Court of Wings and Ruin | Sarah J. Maas

A continuation of Feyre’s journey. It's not my favourite in the series, but it did its job to move the plot along and bring us to the fourth installment.

TV SERIES / FILMS OF NOTE

Moonshine S01 - because it’s homegrown (filmed in Nova Scotia) & the storytelling stands tall.
Emily in Paris S02 - because it’s perfectly cute, witty, charming and paced perfectly.

Happier Than Ever Vinyl | Billie Eilish

For my Winter record, I chose Billie’s crooning voice mixed with all those intense beats. This is my favourite record of hers so far. She captures that confusion, anger, heart ache and hopeful plot twist in a handful of songs.

Gold Note Pad | Duly Noted

I Christmas shopped around this particular square notepad for weeks. Finally, in the new year, I indulged in purchasing it for my desk.

[EDIT] Magazine Winter Edition | [EDIT]

I appreciate an artistic think piece packaged in a magazine, and [Edit] here in the Maritimes delivers such a thing. I enjoyed slowly reading a copy and encouraged anyone local to order the latest or another magazine that offers a similarly immersive experience in words, images, and culture.

Remedy Kombucha | Sobeys / Local Stores

This became a staple in our fridge during the many weeks of winter while I observed Lent. (this year, I chose to give up alcohol. Other years, social media, etc)
I love the lack of sugar in this kombucha brand, and my favourite flavour is not pictured here: mango passion.

Moleskin Pocket Notebooks | Duly Noted

Although can find these in many places, I like being able to purchase them from a more locally owned store. Duly Noted is a favourite of mine.

Vessels & Muses Oracle Deck | Zoë Pawlak

A Christmas gift from a best friend. These beautiful cards come with engaging journal prompts and thought pieces. Perfect for a creative spirit. I have taken to the habit of pulling a new card every new moon to meditate on and reflect over the month while I work.

The Confession | Jessie Burton

Jessie Burton has a way of weaving secrets and intricacies within characters. It is a fingerprint on all of her novels. This is a story of women trying to find themselves within each other.

Conceal, Don’t Feel: A Twisted Tale | Jen Calonita

I enjoy dipping back into Young Adult fiction from time to time. Disney contracts with various writers to create twisted versions of their stories, which are fun, easy to read, and don’t stray too far from the original's beats. With this one, we see what would have happened if Anna and Elsa had grown up without knowing each other.

The Doll Factory | Elizabeth Macneal

This book kept me glued the entire time. It was strange, alluring and twisted all at once. Set in 1850’s London, it has notes of the gritty, unforgiving world that Charles Dickens so often wrote about. This book is exceedingly unique.

FILMS/TV SERIES OF NOTE

Alaska Daily S01 - because despite of it being cancelled after the first season, it captures the plight and work of those searching for answers regarding Missing Murdered and Indigenous Women.
Upload S03 - because it’s intriguing to see where they will evolve this concept of ‘uploads’ season after season.
Silver Linings Playbook - Mental Health and its various nuances were just beginning to be openly discussed during the early 2010s. This film is a favourite of mine as it tenderly showcases the mess and the beauty of what it means to be struggling and find ‘a silver lining’.

Despite having a close Uncle who makes a living playing board games, I cannot say I have adopted this hobby as part of my everyday lifestyle. This is partly due to my lack of patience to learn more extended gameplay (*said Uncle will happily attest to this), partly due to already having a long list of hobbies I upkeep (reading being top of the list), and also partly due to the stage of life I have been in regarding my career, interests, parenting, etc.

Turning the page from 2023 to 2024, I have a renewed appreciation for what collective gameplay can bring to one’s life. I have begun to incorporate weekly family game time into our routines. *Don’t get me wrong—we have missed some weeks this year (illness, overtiredness, busyness, etc.)

Overall, playing games together has been a grounding act of togetherness.

Adding New Games to Our Collection

Christmas is an excellent time to add a few new games to our collection. I usually note a game we played during the year or a well-talked-about game and ensure we have it included under the tree.

Playing through Our Collection

I am very dedicated to minimalism, not by aesthetics but by the peace of mind. Clutter and collections can quickly get out of hand. We often end up with an excess we don’t use or appreciate collecting dust rather than being enjoyed. This year, I am trying to play every game in our collection to discern if it stays or is time to go. (games for toddlers are an excellent example of what is leaving our house, as our almost nine-year-old is well past this stage)

Board Game Café’s

I first went to a board game cafe in Montreal, and recently, we made a point of going to our local one as a family. This is a great way to play new games and determine whether you like them.

Playing by the Rules

I admit, growing up, I would fudge the rules—not out of a desire but out of pure laziness to take the time to understand the proper gameplay. (There is that lack of patience again.) Taking the time to understand the rules through the game directions or simply pulling up a YouTube video that does a play-through can be the difference between a game of annoying starts and stops or a game of fun.

One Game Session a Week

Life is full. Making a point to look for a window (often at breakfast or dinner time on a weekend) where we can pull out a game and play one round is a bonding practice.

.Watching the resurgence of the vinyl experience come back to mainstream spoke to my cassette tape and CD upbringing. Being a romantic by nature, any chance to luxuriate in the knowledge of art, be it food, dance, music, film, plays, atmosphere, nature - any of it, I will take it.

Since purchasing a flueance turntable, I have followed a few values to keep this hobby intentional.

One New Vinyl a Season.

As with anything in this day and age, it would be easy to begin collecting as many records as fast as possible for the display recognition, as well as the clout, but for me, it’s imperative that each added record has meaning to me, merit musically, adds to my atmosphere and creates conversation. Adding only one every season allows me to think each new one through and enjoy the luxury of each new listen.
***gifted vinyls & an annual Christmas album notwithstanding

The Album must be an EXPERIENCE.

Each new album must be musically and or lyrically an impactful experience. We all have individual tastes in music, and what speaks to one of us may not speak to all of us, but it must at least speak to me and have a throughline that one can follow within the whole album.

First Listening Sessions.

Upon purchase of a new album, the first listen is accompanied by a beverage (whiskey or wine are my favourites), a sit-down, and reading along with the music of the lyrics. These nights open up much discussion about art, life, love and all the natural and raw things music often finds a way to discuss and explore.

Closer By Sea | Perry Chafe

It is an East Coast tale of a missing girl, a boy who knew her, and all the shrouded foggy mystery surrounding life's heartbreaking happenings. A bit of fog, thoughtfulness, coastal tall tales and the creatures that make us. It is a good read for anyone who wants to smell The Atlantic Ocean in their mind’s eye.

The Crane Wife | CJ Hauser

Initially taken in by CJ’s essay “The Crane Wife,” which came out in The Paris Review, this memoir of essays adds depth and perspective to the whole of CJ. Her writing style has a curt beauty to it and her delivery often leaves you flipping to the next essay with curiosity.

Tiny Beautiful Things | Cheryl Strayed

The book behind the beautiful heart-aching television series where all the ‘Dear Sugars’ are documented. I truly enjoyed each letter and response.

Not a Happy Family | Shari Lapena

Another ‘who dun it’ mystery shrouded in the resentments of a family, the trauma of individuals and the endless possibilities of just one night. It's a great rapid read for those who like good suspense.

TV SERIES / FILMS OF NOTE

Babes in Toyland - Because a nostalgic christmas movie within Disneys first ever live action musical is worth a re-watch.
Darling Lily - because a Julie Andrews film has more vintage sass, humour and quirk than anything that could come out today.
Alaska Daily S01 - because stories featuring the plight of MMIWG have value.

Saje Extra Strength Pain Relieving Remedy | Saje

I often avoid looking at stores where I know I will become addicted to their aesthetics and products. As a reluctant shopper and self-proclaimed minimalist, I take each purchase seriously and have been hesitant to look at what Saje has to offer. My desire to maintain distance became impossible after an employee asked if she could roll this on my neck before I went deep into the city for a book club. I spent the rest of that evening feeling the soothing effects on my neck and shoulders.
I’m hooked.

Sunday Morning Print | Jasmine Alexander

Not yet framed, this print of Sunday Morning by Jasmine Alexander is among my favourites. I adore her new series with the remnants of life, conversation, and flavour hanging in the air between the art and the viewer.

Portraits by Birdy Vinyl | Amazon

Perhaps the most listened-to album of my 2023 year. I have always adored Birdy and found her lyrics hit a deeper spot of truth that only a handful would know and understand. Birdy finds a way to reinvent herself in Portraits yet remains true to her excellent vocal core.
( Raincatchers, Your Arms, Tears Don’t Fall )

The Last Mrs. Parish by Liv Constantine | Secondhand via a Friend

If you’ve talked to me about books, you’ll know one of my all-time favourite rapid reads is “The Last Mrs.Parish.” After reading a library copy, I rushed to my local bookstores to find a copy to add to my shelf of favourite titles, only to find that all the copies printed since were printed with a different cover. For me, it felt like the new covers flew against the whole story experience, and I decided to wait to try to find a copy of the original prints. This was many years ago now.
Cut to this Autumn helping a friend sort through books she was done holding on to, and after I squealed in surprise at finding the original cover, she encouraged me to take it. I look forward to my next re-read of the prequel and this beautiful first edition sega.

Black Blundstones | Soft Moc

For a solid decade, everyone has told me I need to get a pair of blundstones. With their ability to last for what seems to be ‘forever’ and their versatility, it’s a wonder why it took me so long. The price is difficult to swallow, but I can honestly say that it was well spent. I hope NEVER to need to circle back to pick up a pair of walking boots. (At least not for a LONG time)

Life is short.
That is what they say.

When we are children, our friends are those we source in the places we find ourselves.
School, lessons, neighbourhood, clubs, other children of our parents friends.
From late teens into young adulthood, this continues in many ways.
Post-secondary education, work, extra classes attended, eventing, friends of friends.
As adults, a shift occurs.

Somewhere between young and full-fledged adulthood, we lose friends, gain friends and find that friends might be farther away. Not gone, but not here.

Job changes, marriages, breaks ups, babies, and work schedules pile on, and all of a sudden, we look around and have to ask ourselves:
Who am I?
Who are you?

It’s a strange place to be when you realize you have grown past the usual way you would have connected with others.
A foreign land with no proper road or directions to tell you, ‘This way to the intellectuals sitting around a table exchanging ideas’ or ‘This way to the new moms who won’t judge you.’

Despite the lack of directions, I believe if you are looking, there is a way to land on finding the ‘ships’ that will keep your metaphorical boat afloat.

Know your own personal values and lifestyle values

Suppose you know your values both internally and externally. In that case, you will automatically know if a ‘ship’ will work because your differences complement each other or the alignment brings out a more profound sense of belonging.

Connect over something

In my closest ‘ships,’ something continues to bring us together. Be that a TV series you watch together, a hobby, the gift and desire of a good gab or work.

Notice the energy exchange.

We all know what it feels like to have the air sucked out of the room. That moment when you realize you are not actively participating in an exchange but rather doing your best to survive it. Although in ‘ships’, the energy exchanges can shift, and everyone takes turns giving more than receiving and vice versa, what should feel and be authentic is understanding how that can naturally ebb and flow without repressing yourself.

Manage Expectations.

Everyone gives and receives differently in ‘ships,’ but you must know and decide for yourself what you expect to get out of the relationship. When it becomes clear that achieving within the dynamic is impossible, either shift expectations or take a step back. Why carry bitterness around?

Notice How you feel after an interaction.

Those who bring out the best in you will make you feel content, blessed and seen.

Sound & Color Album by Alabama Shakes | Taz Records

The ultimate favourite thing of the summer is our record player and my first vinyl I purchased for myself ‘Sound & Color’ by Alabama Shakes.

SPF 40 Tinted Moisturizer by Origins | Sephora

I adore this moisturizer and love that I can put it on and know that my face has coverage from the sun before I go out.

Pineapple Street by Jenny Jackson | Chapters

A perfect summer read if you enjoy the intricacies and antics of families. These reads often give me a good laugh, a nod of understanding and if they are done right a sense of solidarity along with entertainment. Jenny did just that.

White Birkenstock Flip Flops | Softmoc

Admittedly I have had the same silly blue flip flops from Old Navy since I was 20. After 14 years I felt it was time to retire them. They were quite literally falling apart. I replaced them with these. Hopefully a solid pair of flip flops for pool / beach days.

T3 Single Pass Curl 0.75 inch Barrel Iron | Sephora

Over the past year I have committed to a shorter hair style. I enjoy the ease and lack of fuss it makes me feel, that being said, it unfortunately meant that my barrel iron I would use for waves or curls was too big for shorter hair. Hopefully this is a one and done purchase.

Pocket Rocks | White Point Beach

Every summer we go to White Point Beach to spend a week in the sand, waves and under the stars of its natural beauty. I always look for a token from that year and these were the precious stones I found and brought back with me to carry for the year.

Being a self-professed type 'A' personality, I have a lot of routines, habits and methods of madness I have collected over the years to keep myself on track.

These routines and habits have been anchor points when life feels out of control, confusing or dull. For better or worse, I have been mostly good at sticking to my guns and following through with things as simple as a daily walk, reaching out to friends, scheduling the week ahead…’

Until last year.

Last year I began the slow unwinding of trying to keep all the balls in the air, specifically with relationships.

I stopped over planning and I just stopped being a leader in correspondence. I was still actively responding and communicating, but my energy to continue being the leader in all my interactions shifted. Rather than taking charge and seeking discourse, I was listening. Rather than holding space for others, I was holding space for myself.

This year I have continued to build upon that more profound and grounded state of being.

And to do that?

I have been breaking many of the routines, habits and methods of madness that kept me in control for years.

And in doing so, I have uncovered the new, re-found the old ways and delight in discovery.

So far, I have

• re-found my love for Hot Yoga and the Modo Yoga Community

• tried out 12-hour fasting.

• Asked for more in my work.

• solidified new and old friendships

• discovered my true love for a more urban lifestyle

• explored academia and its options

• fully embraced the reality and fun lifestyle choice of being parents to ‘one’ child.

These seemingly small things have impacted how I look at life, and I plan to continue breaking habits to find the new and re-meet the old.

Onwards,

Already in full bloom, the muggy, overcast and sometimes sunny days of a Nova Scotia summer are here.

This summer, I am approaching like summer rain.

Sporadic, unannounced and magical.

If you have danced in a summer rain, you know how it smells and tastes.
It’s something different and unique.

My approach this season is to push myself in my thinking and doing.
Rather than keeping the typical schedule, I am asking myself what makes sense today? What needs to be done? What project needs attention? What am I missing?
What am I needing?

It can be vulnerable to be without work, but it is also an invitation.

An invitation to discover and delight in the creativity that has brought me here today.

Onwards I go into these full magical summer moments discussing work, life and learning with family, friends and colleagues while dancing in the summer rain when it graces us with its presence.

My Body | Emily Ratajkowski

This read hit a thousand nerves. Those I knew about and those I didn’t. I would tingle at the end of each segment, knowing that Emily was laying bare the truths so many of us women walk around with, no matter our physical classification. Her obvious ‘hinting’ at various people makes me slightly unsettled. I would much rather her say their names outright since it was so obvious with her descriptions, but perhaps this was changed in edits for legal reasons.

Illogical | Emmanuel Acho

I have admired Emmanuel and his grace-filled way of addressing life and society's circumstances. This book is the same. He so puts, without elevating himself, how he has been able to push beyond the logical limits of his life. There is no trick, simply a way of thought that has helped propel him forward. I enjoyed the reflections at the end of each chapter to help put his ideas into personal perspective.

Home | Julie Andrews

Julie writes and talks in a way that reminds me of my late paternal grandmother. In that classic British way yet with the colour and grit of someone who is not above a dirty joke or can’t see the humour in tragedy. Reading Julie’s reflections on her life makes me feel slightly connected to that crass classy side of my grandmother and to the beautiful makings of who I would say is one of my childhood and adult icons. I admire that Julie has kept onward and upwards in every aspect of her life.

The Awakened Family | Shefali Tsabary, Ph.D.

I have been picking away at this read for several years now. Mostly with my partner, but recently I decided to pick it back up to finish it. Although I found Dr.Sheflai's “Conscious Parenting” book more enlightening, I found nuggets of reflection in this read. It doesn’t read easily, but it is profound in its content.

FILM/TV SHOWS OF NOTE

Ted Lasso S03 - This show has carried us through the worst of the pandemic world, and hopefully, with its end, we will also see a little more light. The type of light it has given us in every uplifting episode where it subverts what our suspicious minds have so easily misread and misjudged.
The Little Mermaid Live Action - A memorable moment in the cinema with my favourite girls & a great elevation of the Disney classic. Prince Eric is now a three-dimensional character. Bravo Disney.
Julia S01 - Quite literally one of the most beautiful pieces of television I have watched. Based on Julia Child’s rise to become a famous television chef, this series was the warm French meal we didn’t know we needed. I shouldn’t have been surprised that the creator behind it was also on “The Marvellous Mrs.Maisel” team—elegance and depth in storytelling echo throughout these projects.
Encanto - Another deep tale centring around Mariable Madrigal and her big magical family and home. In case you missed it, this animation gives light on generational trauma and how it ripple effects into the next generations. It’s deeply compelling and musically excellent.

When I pick a word to walk with for a year, I never know exactly what will happen on that journey. I can only know that the word came to me during reflection and processing of what I wanted for the coming year.

Resonance

came to me out of a deep desire to sink deeper into a medium and craft of audio storytelling I hadn’t let myself consider or even believe was possible for me. And yet, as 2022 ended, I found a new side of myself. A shiny new side that was there all along.

As I have worked the past six months to align myself with those that would help me develop quality, deep and evocative work and life, I have found something else. Something I didn’t expect.

I wasn’t only finding the fullness of others and the projects but a fullness in myself.

A deepening and broadening of horizons and. The point that I have had a hard time swallowing it all because everything up until this point has told me

• There is not enough money for you.

• You don’t have what it takes.

• Your role is ‘this,’ not ‘that.’

• You thought you were good at this, but you are not.

Etc.

Over the past two months, I have started to implement the concept of seeing what aligns with my values as a whole person. Not just as the person who pitches stories… but also as the woman.

The Amy Grace.

What does she want?

What is she capable of?

*it seems so silly to admit to these things… Haven’t I been doing this all along?

Yes & No.

The revelation is that I have been trying to be myself in a box. A box I still desperately wanted to fit.

I was never supposed to fit that box.

With this new understanding, I take resonances hand and explore what is outside the box and what is possible with the me that I am and the me I continue to find out I can be.

Bug off Collection | Bloom Greenhouse & Garden Centre

This collection of plants was put in a shallow terra cotta bowl to ward off bugs. All plants that mosquitos and other pesky bugs don’t like. I liked the idea, and although I may buy these plants individually next year, I thought it made sense to give the collection a go.

White Leather Kids | Softmoc

Keds are my go-to shoes. Over spring, I picked up this pair for work days while in the house and using my standing desk.

Glossier You | Gift from the best friend

Sweetly given upon her arrival back to my province. On my first application, I was sent back to a time when the store JACOB used to be in Nova Scotia and how they would sell and give their fragrance. It was my favourite until the chain folded/moved out of every province. I remember being disappointed over it. This scent reminds me so much of that fragrance, and I love it.

Cannon 16 mm Lens | Birthday gift

The kit lens that came with my Cannon ER0S went with a 24 - 105 kit lens which, although significant, is a lot to tote around. This new lens captures a master-wide shot and gives a sense of intimacy. It provides a perspective that the other one can’t.

Jane Eyre by Charlotte Brontë | Chapters

Although I had a copy given to me years ago, it had baggage with the history of it. I decided this beautiful edition would be its replacement. I love the brush strokes and how it almost seems wet in appearance—art in its purest and raw form.

Anchor Paper Clip | Gift

A sweet gift from a friend away.

34 notations, lessons, observations and gold found.

*In no particular order.

1. Pursue the deep, the wonder and the voiceless…there is always gold in what has not yet been given light.

2. Anyone that leaves you behind has lost the plot. Their time in your story has passed and if they resurface, only you can say if they belong in the new pages of your story or not.

3. Resist the temptation to repeat old patterns / ways of connecting. You do it different.

4. No one wants to leave you. They simply haven’t healed themselves enough to stay.

5. You have the strongest ties to the ones that will be there for the worst of it all. Give those ties a tug when needed. They’ll be there.

6. Your bit of earth is rich and vibrant. Watch it grow and cultivate it during the quiet seasons. Quiet doesn’t mean fallow.

7. Everything that is inside you that tells you are unintelligent is a lie. Your intelligence moves mountains not only outwardly but on the insides of others. Don’t hide your processing and thoughts. It’s your calling to share.

8. Celebrate every win. Don’t shy away from being proud.

9. Listen to your gut. It has never steered you wrong.

10. If you thought ‘family’ was a word to pitch your tent to, think again. Learn. Connect and learn again.

11. Lean not on others, but stand upright on the two feet you were given.

12. Take up space and hold space in every room you walk into.

13. Reject every 'othering’ narrative that seeks to control a room.

14. Embrace the woman and mothering ways that only you uniquely inhabit.

15. Work on what you are aware of, stay learning and work some more.

16. Be the friend you need and want… but draw the line at being used and sucked dry.

17. Process every wound and give it air. Work to find it’s best healing and do not deny its presence and process.

18. Expect more from yourself. You are already capable of more than you realize.

19. If you were told to let someone else do it in your childhood / young adult years, give it a go alone. See if you are capable. (you probably are.)

20. Drive. Stay independant. Never let fear drive the car.

21. Dress to please you and how you want to present yourself. Not for anyone else.

22. When faced with misogyny / sexual misconduct, do not accept the blame. Call out the toxic patriarchy and let your words speak for themselves.

23. Stay courageous, vulnerable and open….and share when you feel safe.

24. Rather than letting them define you, define yourself.

25. Travel when it suits you. If it doesn’t, don’t. If it does, do.

26. You always know when it’s time for a change. Your restless heart beat will let you know.

27. Others won’t be ready for your changes, but you will be. Let that be enough.

28. Protect your independence and ability to stand on your own two feet. Question anyone who wants to make you dependant.

29. Question anyone who puts you on a pedestal.

30. “Just between us” is a death sentence.

31. Move your body. You will always feel better after.

32. Anyone you have loved has gotten a glimpse of heaven through your love…don’t discredit your heart and what you have given.

33. Stay witty. You are a firecracker and they love that about you. (& it keeps you alive for yourself)

34. Stay you. Stay Amy freaking Grace.

The Further Tale of Peter Rabbit | Emma Thompson

Emma Thompson is not just an actor, she is also a beautiful story teller. I love her wit, her groundless and especially this special addition to a beloved character. If you come across this sweet children’s book, please give it a read.

The Penderwicks on Graham Street | Jeanne Birdsall

Another children’s book in the form of a group of sisters who are despairing their fathers potential courtships years after their mothers death. Each character gives a sweet image of girlhood, sisterhood and all that makes childhood entertaining, despairing and utterly dramatic.

A Court of Mist and Fury | Sarah J. Maas

The second in A Court of Thorns and Roses series. Being an avid studier in storytelling and all that makes a series work, this second novel didn’t disappoint. I could see the reveals that were coming and yet even still they were expertly places and beautifully executed. It’s no wonder it will be turned into a television series adaptation. And if anyone is wondering, the heroine remains as riveting as ever.

Films / TV Series of Note

CODA - Because he needed to see it, and the second re watch was just as moving. Makes me miss the friendships and connections made through my first career as an American Sign Language Interpreter…. I don’t think I’ve ever seen my partner cry as hard during a film as he did in this one.
Game Night - Anytime I thought the twists were done, there was another. Impressive.
Succession S04 - For the incredible Shakespearian style storytelling paired next to modern day ridiculous behaviour that… unfortunately is more relatable than we’d like to admit.
The Marvellous Mrs.Maisel S05 - Drawing out each and EVERY episode.

Flatlay of three books: The Further Tale of Peter Rabbit, The Penderwicks on Graham Street, A Court of Mist and Fury

Releasing Expectations & Rejecting Scarcity - byamygrace

expectation | ˌekˌspekˈtāSH(ə)n | noun a strong belief that something will happen or be the case in the future: reality had not lived up to expectations | there is the expectation that some individuals will do better in the program than others | he drilled his men in expectation of a Prussian advance. • a belief that someone will or should achieve something: students had high expectations for their future. • (expectations) archaic one's prospects of inheritance.

scarcity | ˈskersədē | noun (plural scarcities) the state of being scarce or in short supply; shortage: a time of scarcity | the growing scarcity of resources.Last Year I made an active decision to step back from my own perception of ‘expectations’.

A year ago

I began letting go of the expectations and uncovering the root of scarcity as a belief system. Be it perceived expectations by myself or real expectations from outside myself; I had been carrying a weight I identified would not allow me to grow further.

I have been actively letting go of:

• Being the sole organizer and leader for family and friendships.

• The belief system in the traditional path into media and creative writing is the only true path.

• Our small family and personal life choices will match those we interact with.

• The belief in exactly who would/will be in my corner when the chips were down, and real life was crashing in.

• Our ability to enjoy ourselves is limited.

• Certainty.

Since actively working daily on letting go of expectations from myself and society/others, I have realized that so much of my pain is self-induced and has also been permitted by me.

I am actively embracing:

• Engaging in in-depth and connective family and friendships that go deep.

• Sinking into a documentary journalism career that I love, am excellent at and continue to thrive and grow in.

• Celebrating our unique choices and options as a small family to engage with each other and the world around us.

• Enjoying deepening the small collective of friends, family and colleagues who continue to show up for me/us.

• Identifying the trauma and roots of scarcity within my family and society.

• Looking ahead to the future with curiosity and wonder rather than with fear and scarcity.

Releasing expectations and rejecting scarcity is not a practice I will be automatically able to step away from. This is a practice I will have to remain mindful of and continue the self-reflective work to find the roots of fear and continue pulling them out one at a time.

Onwards,

IMAGE DESCRIPTION: Tulips sprouting from garden earth. Text: Spring 2023 - byamygrace

When Spring arrived on March 20th, I was ill-prepared.

I felt the heaviness of the project I was working on (a project that highlighted the severe plight of paramedics in my Province) and the lack of connection to my faith, which usually feels closer during the Lent season. I felt the pressing in of my life and business partners' trip in early April coming all too fast.

I decorated for Easter with lacklustre. I found agony in how other families gathered and celebrated bunnies, eggs and cute family photos in a way I have been unable to make happen again since childhood.

Yet as the sun begins its descent each evening, I have felt a promise of a world opening up. A new birth to a new version of the life we have been living.

And isn't that the promise of Easter in the first place?

New life, a rebirth.

The broken, the perceived dead could be risen out of the ground and made into something we couldn't have imagined.

This Spring, I am actively sourcing a new way, a new life, and the renewed soil ready for me; for us.

Enough of this life I thought would be.
Enough of this old narrative and the old way of doing things.
It is time to embrace the miracles. The right now moments are rich with potential and joy.

This Spring, I will leave behind

• Surface small talk to get me by

• Hesitating in scarcity mentality in my work

• Staying street bound in family movement

• Sinking into the weight of death.

This Spring, I will be

• Welcoming deep, intelligent connections and conversations

• Investing back into the work, I am driven to create

• Embracing collective family movement

• Celebrating life.

Virgin River | Robyn Carr

I picked this up on a whim, hoping it was as comforting a read as it appeared. It is precisely that. City Nurse Practitioner / Midwife looking for a new life in a small country town. It’s a story of the ages and delivers with every page.

Fall On Your Knees | Ann Marie MacDonald

I remember feeling jealous of the other High School English classes having this as required reading. My specific class did not. I am finally getting to it, and it did not disappoint. It’s heavy. It’s tragic. It’s complex. It’s deep. It’s real. I sincerely appreciate the work and craft behind this book.
I grew up in a white-washed culture and perspective. No one is to blame for that. It just was. Fall On Your Knees was a deep dive into multiple cultures, women coping with their circumstances and the nuance of immigrant families that have existed for decades in Canada.

Good Girls Lie | J.T.Ellison

A fun, mysterious rapid read ‘who done it’ with enough twists and turns to keep one intrigued and flipping the pages. Great for those who love a good ‘elite private school’ mystery.

TV / FILMS OF NOTE:

Why Women Kill S01 - For the mystery, the surprise and the fun.
Coco - A great cultural look at Mexican culture, family and identity.
Downton Abbey A New Era - The best Downton Film thus far. Fun and profoundly moving in its own right.