Winter 2014.  A typical after party morning.

Over four years ago I was going through a transformation.  Personally and professionally.  I believe it was a defining season of time for me.  It was a time in my life I was at a crossroads of who I wanted to truly become.  I could go in many directions and I knew that whatever I did choose, would be a choice that defined me not just at that moment, but for the future.

During that time I bonded with what I assume will be those life lasting friends that you know in every stage of life.  None of these specific friends were new to me at the time, but the journey I was traveling was a defining moment for the continuation of these friendships.

One of these precious friends sent me a song one night that she had been listening to.

She said: "This is for you.  This is how all of us feel for you and what we are doing with you."  I will never forget it.  

The song?  Rally by Allie Moss <--- Click to listen.

I hold that time of my life close because it did define me and my values.  It shaped me into the woman I am today and I am blessed and honoured by those who stood with me while I sifted through the confusion, the heart break and the pain.  

This week I have been faced with a few reminders of what it means to 'rally'.  I have been reminded of what it means to take action and rally around others.  Whether it is at a distance of someone or some cause, or close with someone or something.  

We are called to rally behind those we love, the causes that break us open and we are called to honour that which moves us.  To stay aware of the pain of others and to stay grounded in what we can truly give.  And when you give, give open, wide and free.  Give endless grace and endless love.

Rally.

"Comedy or tragedy, we'll write this one together.  I'll be there for you....We'll rally, rally, around you." - Allie Moss

Having not yet read on everything "Hygge" yet, knowing if I did, I would not stop.  I have captured five ways I have been using the quiet moments of Winter.

These are:  

1. Reviewing unfinished or old piano pieces along with the new to maintain skill and enjoyment.  
Having a baby stopped me from using my instrument fully for over a year.  Getting back into it with new goals and reasons is bringing joy.
What is a skill that you've let slide or could renew?

2. Skate / Winter walks.  
Being outdoors for a walk or skate refreshes me even on the bitter days.  The concept that it is 'too cold' to enjoy moving outdoors is so often, not true.
What is a time of day or activity you could enjoy outside?

3. Bullet Journaling.  
Spending the Winter weeks getting used to a full on bullet journal and all it can offer me, not only feeds my 'plan-happy-soul', but gives me a creative outlet that I enjoy.
What is an activity that would boost productivity but also be a source of enjoyment?

4. Reading.  
Taking the time to read a stack of books not only is rewarding and stimulating for the brain but it is absolutely fun to take the time to choose a group of titles and get to say you read them and share with others how you felt about each of them.  More table talk options.
What are a few titles that would be great to take off of your check list?  Or better yet, wheres your nearest library?  Peruse there.

5.  Podcasts.  
I am burning through my podcast list these days.  Maybe it is all the time indoors or having them on while I work to motivate me through maundane tasks, but I love them.  Right now I am fascinated with : "Missing Richard Simmons" , "The Goal Digger Podcast" , "Someone Knows Something" and "The Minimalists",  just to name a few.
Scroll through the topics on iTunes or other podcast platforms and you are bound to find something in your interests.

Other activities keeping me all 'winter-slap-happy' : renewing my hygiene routine, baths, finding new TV Shows, dreaming on pinterest, curating my Instagram, meal planning for the week and Using Oh She Glows cookbooks.

Relax, Renew, and Refine this Winter.

Spring is only a month away.

Clockwise from the top left:  Stuffed Monkey became this seasons favourite.  (He was a stuffy of mine that I was willing to get rid of and my mother, Zoës Grandma, did not want to see go.  She slyly let Zoë take it home with her on a day she came down with a fever...sneaky grandmothers...), Blue/Grey light jacket | A gift from Auntie from Korea, Grey hair band | Carters, Grey hoodie sweater | Kids Gap, Flower Baseball Shirt | Carters , Duckie/Chick Halloween Costume | Winners, The Secret Life of Squirrels Book | Gift from Great Aunt & Uncle during a visit, it makes us all laugh.  Slip on Shoes | Joe Fresh, Jeans | Second hand from a boy at Church (they are girl jeans).  Girlfriend Jeans | Carters (they did not fit this season due to the width), Plaid Shirt | Carters, Polka Dot Pants | Gift from Auntie from Korea, Grey Flower Dress | Carters, Blue Romper | Joe Fresh, gift from Grandma.

I am finding more and more that no matter how many clothes my child has, it is those few favourites along with the few that work and fit so perfectly that end up being worn over and over again.  

It was fun to go out and purchase a halloween costume for her this year and a few Autumn staples like the Plaid shirt and the baseball long sleeve shirt.  It was even fun to have her Auntie to return from Korea with a few clothing goodies.  Polka dots on a toddler girl is immense fun.

The biggest realization after Autumn was over was that it was time to go buy more socks.  Summer, the season of bare feet, is officially over.  After the first few colder weeks I realized four pairs of socks on rotation were not going to cut it.  So we went out and bought a few more pairs and of course are constantly loosing them...

Toddler socks are so so small.

I just love seeing her seasonal life come to a close like this.  

If anything, these are great memories. 

Clockwise from top centre :  Folded a second hand blue dress that has been featured before, Felt hat | Indigo, Cable Knit sweater | Suzie Shiers, Wine Dress | BCBGeneration, Socks | Bluenotes, Prestige Jeux Ginseng D'escargot | Korean Product from best friend, Second Hand Blue sweater | Given by another best friend, Folded Black shirt | H&M, Skinny Jeans | The Gap, Brown Faux leather Jacket | Bootlegger , Folded off white tank top | Forever21, Tufted Quarter Length Sleeve Shirt | Modcloth, Nautical Keds | Keds, Happier at Home by Gretchen Rubin (Because I started reading it first day of Autumn) | Chapters, & Grey Duffle Bag | Hershal

This Autumn I was able to enjoy the results of my capsule wardrobing labour and I loved every minute of it.  Some items are missing from this shot, due to being busy and not carefully gathering every piece but on a whole, these are the main articles from the last season.

Three items pictured here that I am sad to part with after this season:  

Nautical Keds : I wore those beauties everywhere and wore them clean apart.  One shoe is fine, but the right shoe came apart along the sole and sides.  

Leaf Earrings:  Left behind by a friend who said to keep them, I've had these earrings for about two years and have always enjoyed wearing them.  They were old and not in the best condition but I was still sad when I lost it's partner.

Faux Leather Jacket: Bought in 2011 from (I believe Bootlegger), this jacket has been fun to pair with dresses, jeans, black pants, skirts etc.  It was the go to for an outfit boost.  After six years, the faux leather began to flake badly around the sleeves and collar.  Sigh...another one bites the dust.

Three items I am thrilled to have as additions this year:

Hershel Novel Duffle Bag:  I have always wanted a trendy duffle bag since being a teenager.  Sleepovers have a way of making you notice these things. Finally, I felt the time was right and found this lovely grey bag.  I love the style of Hershel, especially the shoe compartment in the Novel design.

BCBGeneration Wine Dress:  Bought from a boutique for my good friends wedding, this dress is perfect for autumn with it's wine tone and ability to pair with black hosiery and boots.  It's an Autumn dream dress.

Eye Cream "Prestige, Beaux Ginseng D'escargot" : Given to me by my bestie from her year in Korea this eye cream is a dream.  It rolls on underneath your eyes and has the perfect cooling affect.  Who knew I'd enjoy putting snail stuff on my face.  Take it from me, the Koreans know what they are doing regarding skin care.

It's been just over a year since starting to curate and develop capsule wardrobes and I am starting to see the benefits and careful deliberation pay off.

When you have less choices it frees you to make choices that are truly and abundantly reflective of you.  Now when I get dressed, I feel as if I am meeting with my true self and love the artistry of getting ready.  Sure, I may lust over the endless wracks of clothes in the mall, but in the end, it is those carefully selected pieces that truly give me joy, a sense of self and of purpose.

So long...farewell....

So epically sad to see these go.... they saw me through postpartum and many blues dances.

This image thrills me.  Seeing my daughters most worn summer clothes displayed and curated as to capture that season of her life, melts my heart.  Many of these clothes won't fit her by next summer, maybe a few will.  It all depends on how her body develops.  Captured here are the clothes I will be packing away in case they either fit her next summer or another toddler appears in our life at some point.

I won't always store these clothes.  At some point I will narrow them down to most likely the yellow dress and those pink Bunny shoes.  A sentiment of her first toddler summer.  But until then these are the clothes that Zoë wore the most Summer 2016.

Clockwise:  Blue Summer hat: Carters, Tropical Short Overalls: Carters, Pink T-Shire onsie: Carters, Blue Birdie Patterned Romper : Joe Fresh, Jean Shorts : Carters (Size: 3 months, Zoë although long, is small in her mid section and still fit into the same shorts she wore as a 2-3 month old baby.)  Ice Cream Cone covered Swim Suit: Carters, White T-shirt with design: Gift from Grandparents from Hong Kong, Yellow Dress hand made from Great Aunt Shelley, Candy Striped pants also from Honk Kong, Yellow Shirt : Baby Gap, gift from Auntie Heidi, White Eyelet T-Shirt : Gift from Auntie Jasmine from Korea, Folded: Summer sleeve and pantless romper : Carters (Used as pyjamas) , Pink Bunny Shoes : Baby Gap.  In the Middle: Striped dress : Baby Gap.  On the side: Folded up Pink & White childs blanket gifted from Auntie Heidi from Kids Pottery Barn. (Given during the summer and dearly loved) 

I didn't write a play about new motherhood and yoga for kicks and giggles.  I wrote it because  I want to see new mamas well, happy and thriving.

1. Mama comes first.

In order to be the 'mama' you deeply desire to be, you have to feed yourself first.  Not just physically, but mentally, emotionally, spiritually etc. etc.  Fill your cup so that it can overflow first  to your child/children & then the others.  (If you have a spouse/partner, may your full cup overflow first, to create a healthy partnership, and then, into your child/children).

2. Hydrate with H2O & fill your plate with whole foods.

Give your body what it craves past the empty calories.  Bread looks great, but it doesn't give you full nutrient calories that will supply you with what you need to be strong, happy and healthy.  And water?  Water can only help your system.  What you give your body, it gives back.  

3. Unplug & write it out.

Take a break from the outside world.  Turn the phone etc. off and get real with who you deeply are.  It is easier to prioritize when there is silence.  Be it in the middle of the night, or stepping out to sit at a park and reflect.  Take that time.  No one but you will give it to you without strings attached.

4. Walk walk walk.  

When in doubt, walk.  Baby is fussy? Stroller & walk.  It's raining? Raincoats & walk.  Feeling anxious?  Walk.  Walking is your body's way of meditation, releasing stress, hormones and of course, nothing is better than a breath of fresh air.  Walk even when it feels like a chore.  No one ever feels fully tired from a walk.  It's a natural energy booster & is a great way to get out of the house.

5. Only wear clothes you love. 

Mamas havn't lost their womanhood.  So dress in however makes you feel like the most of you.  Get rid of EVERYTHING that doesn't feel thrilling to wear. (Donate clothing that is still in good condition.)  Curate your wardrobe to say exactly what you want to say to yourself.  For me?  "I am   alluring, I am a writer, I am athletic, I am relaxed, I am sophisticated, I am well-read."  For you?  You decide. 

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Of the many goals I set on January 2016, 'finding my squad' was at the top of the list.  You know, the #squadgoals that you see on instagram? I was drooling over 'young twenty-something-besties' rocking their 'free-life' with their bare legs in a hot tub, their wild hair flying behind them as they ran into nature.  I was scrolling and pumping breast-milk while falling in love with girls I hadn't met.  Scrolling and pumping.  Pumping and scrolling.  

I was not lacking in friends.  Truly, I had an abundance... but I was pumping and scrolling now.  It changes things.  Even just a bit...enough to notice.

Becoming pregnant, having besties move away, becoming the first mama of all my friends created an uncertainty within myself of these friendships.

Here is what I have learned:

1.  Becoming a 'mom' does not mean you need mom friends.

Make bonds with those that inspire, thrill and enlighten you.  Authentic friendships based on true connection will last a lifetime.  Mom friends will come when they come.

2. Your squad is closer than you think.

When you go through tough or life-changing times, your women will arise from the rubble.  They won't give you everything you need, but they won't criticize your journey and your current status.  They will challenge you, support you and not let you wallow too long.

3. Friendships are all about grace, and if grace isn't there...it's not a true friendship.

Being in committed friendships means we are given freedom to say it like it is and in the same breath also take the other as they are.  What has kept a lot of my squad friendships alive has been the 'come as you are' attitude that is also graced with a healthy 'say it like it is'. 

I am deeply in love with my women.  Each and every one has changed me, lifted me up and brought me into deeper connection with God, my spirit and the ground beneath me.

Know your squad, and if you don't... watch who comes into the rubble with you.  They are the golden ones.

In alphabetical order, because there is no real order | Beth | Christie | Gillian | Heidi | Jasmine | Nicole | Tasia