I spent the better of two decades telling myself University was not for someone like me.
I thought finances, intellect, individuality, and worthiness were beyond my means.
Was this because of my conservative upbringing, where women were often pigeonholed as the caregivers of their families while the men worked? Was this because of the teachers who saw my marks and considered me a lost cause? Or was this a lie of my own making?

The unwinding of these self-restrictive thoughts continues, but their hold on me does not.

Sitting in the lecture hall of the Unversity of Kings College on the first day of my master’s education earlier this year, I was struck by how, rather than standing out as an odd duck, I was simply normal.

A storyteller and producer who knew and had honed her craft and was ready to refine it to it’s next level.

“Storytelling is your power and home here.” Gillian Turnbull - Director of Writing and Publishing, University of Kings College

Back to school is not just an ‘era’; it is coming home to the side of myself that I had believed I needed to hide. The side that intuitively knows the heartbeat and cadence of the scene, can break down story and character development without blinking and is more knowledgeable about the craft of the story than she lets on. The side that spins words to find healing and wholeness, the side that digs deeper into the personal to dig deeper in the relational. The side that knows that the craft of writing is a craft that can build bridges as quickly as it can burn them.

To the side of myself I had let collect dust and believed was put to bed for good, I say welcome home.

You belong here.

Sitting in Alumni Hall, taking notes from brilliant local and national minds, swapping thoughts and texts with fellow writers and students, clicking laptop keys and hastily scratching pens…Residency was everything I could have wanted and then some.

We don’t often consider the true value of an academic journey when we are inside it as a young person. We are too busy striving to succeed and get to whatever we believe that-next-something needs to be.
I am reminding myself to stay in the moment I am in.
Soaking it all in.
One word and one sentence at a time.

Highlights / Notations to remember

1. The chocolate tin was a great idea. (stay stocked up for motivation through the late afternoon lectures.)

2. Keep documenting the little funny things in your path. (The poetic epitaphs carved into desks, the random condom in the back of a lecture hall, and the way your fitness watch alerted you to breathe deeply when you got nervous before pitching to a director)

3. On the ‘day off,’ block off a full morning, afternoon, or evening to rest. (a two-hour nap is not enough recharge time.)

4. Plan to skip something small on day seven. Don’t feel guilty; your nervous system needs a reset by this time.

5. Pre-schedule / book a hot yoga session for your first day back to normal living. (You’ll feel good just knowing it’s coming)

6. Keep up those morning walks, no matter how early you have to wake up for them. (Truly, they kept you sane!)

7. Stay aware and open to the students around you. (reach out to the person overwhelmed in the corner, listen to the project concept of the other writers, ask how others are doing, share insight and ideas where helpful and stay open to what you may not understand.)

8. And document the normal things. (Capture that rainbow on the first evening, the way the rain splattered at your feet, the debrief voice memos with your friends, the lectures, the way your desk looked, and the way the sun lit up the campus.)

9. Do as much as you can. Enjoy the whole process. You’ll only be doing this MFA once.

10. Enjoy every single damn second.

Although I knew the summer semester began at the top of May with incoming assignments, essays, lectures, readings, responses, etc. I wasn’t sure how soon they would kick in before the June residency. Turns out, it started right away.

As I have adjusted to tackling deadlines, readings, lectures, etc., I have identified some things I plan to take with me on my MFA journey.

Changes I am making:

Time Blocking

Rather than freaking out about the reading list, assignments, word count goals and meetings coming in fast, I am taking a day or two to process new information and then carefully break it down into reasonable chunks to tackle each week. 
This doesn’t mean I am not already neck-deep in work, but it does mean I can tread water and still see the horizon ahead.

Within blocking out the time to tackle each new chunk, I am also prioritizing my mind, body and soul.

Prioritizing Mind, Body & Soul

Meals, exercise, alcohol-free weekdays, sleep, quality time with my daughter and partner, meditation, therapy, unplugged moments to exhale, etc., are all being prioritized in advance to protect not only my ability to output work and study but also to honour the open journey I need to protect and maintain.

End Each Semester with an Exhale moment.

Spending a few sessions at a Nordic-inspired spa recently was intensely rejuvenating. From that experience, I identified that I would like to build into each semester's end a session at a hydrothermal spa to celebrate the work done and to empty the mind, body, and soul to prepare myself for another new semester ahead.

* These next twenty-four months have much in store for me, and I cannot imagine how life will have shifted, changed, and evolved by May 2026, when I approach graduation day.
What I do know for sure is that I want to have said that I sunk into every aspect of this journey and left nothing on the table.

****This is my dedication to my practice, my craft and the beloved act of braving the wilderness of one word at a time.