Video of Amy & her seven-year-old daughter climbing the rocks at Peggys Cove, Nova Scotia.
Episode VII - A simple study on how becoming a mother alters a woman's life. Every decision, every movement is factoring in someone else.
Creative Field Notes is a series that studies the way creativity weaves itself throughout and communicates with all aspects of the natural rhythms of life.
Growing up, my sister and I didn’t have Cable with the endless channels and tv shows to watch. What we did have were parents who curated and created an experience around watching films. VHS tapes were aplenty in our house and if there was a TV movie or Hallmark special on, my mother would take a VHS over to my grandparent’s house and get it taped so we could watch it later.
As a rule, growing up, we watched films together first. Usually, it was over a pizza, a special dinner or dessert. Some sort of treat (even if just a bowl of ice cream) and we would all share in the experience. Once we had all watched the film together we were free to re-watch on our own time, but always, as a rule, we watched movies together first. Bonding over stories, the comedy, and quotes of films became a love language for my family. (I can, if needed, quote the entirety of ‘The Emporer’s New Groove’ on demand.)
I adored that tradition and this year we start a version of it ourselves with Zoë. We haven’t watched many films with her until now, partly due to her personality not being ready and another, in part, knowing that she has her whole life to catch up on all things ‘screen related’.
So far we have watched:
JAN: Frozen
FEB: Lady and the Tramp
Projected:
MAR: Mary Poppins
Although I am sure we are not free from the colds from classmates, I am so thrilled to see that all of these new experiences have brought our little one, who is full of life, into a new sense of herself.
As she has been adjusting, so have I.
Learning how to capitalize on the time that we have apart and find what works with this new life while also realizing it is just a stepping stone into this coming Autumn when she begins her first year in Elementry School.
Time Apart
While she has been in preschool, I have been embracing the time as admin hours. Catch up on emails, write up interviews, social media for work purposes and get the ball rolling for various projects. I have learned that although I am not able to dig into too many things during those hours, I can get a lot of things moving and addressed.
Playdates
We have begun having meaningful playdates amidst the busy of life and learning what it means to create meaningful and caring friendships. Seeing the connection that has begun to grow between Zoë and one of her friends has brought so much joy and excitement into our lives.
Learning at Home
When at home we are doing our best to create space for her to freely play while also sneaking in some mindful learning. Some of the ways we do this are through a great gift from her Great Grandmother in the Kiwi Crate subscription package she is receiving now which sends you a package of learning and creative activities to do monthly. Learning to follow along with words and pick out / read the connecting words (to, a, and, the), watching a new film monthly, exploring music through playlists, piano, and her new Ukelele, etc.
Weekends
Capitalizing on the weekends in what the season has to offer by exploring the farmers market, going out in the snow and making use of a gift we received in a year pass to the Discovery Centre in Downtown Halifax.
On set with mama. 2019
Over the past year I have been on a journey on what it means ‘for me’ to be both my daughters primary care giver and to be active in my chosen career.
Before a new work week begins, I sit down and see where the windows of time will be where she is on a visit to a grandparents, will be doing activities with her father or anyone else. Then I schedule in my work after that. (notwithstanding, previously arranged meetings, appointments or filming shoots.)
There are days I would rather just kick it around the house or goof off with a friend, but I realize if I don’t show up for both my daughter and my work I become resentful to whatever has distracted or is keeping me from either.
As I grew into this motherhood thing, I realized that I valued my work and wanted to grow and mature professionally in a manner that was steady, healthy and challenging in all the right ways. My pace and someone else’s pace will be different and that’s okay.
I give you and my life 100% of me, which is naturally just a part of who I am as a person. It also means I can drain my reserves quickly if I am not managing myself properly and keeping margin in my daily life.
There is nothing that makes me happier than having a day with a meaningful activity with my daughter and getting some work done amidst it all.
I take maintaining relationships seriously, and I have realized that although I am the driving force in many relationships, I need someone else to take the drivers seat off and on.
There is this unfortunate celebration of the woman who is balancing everything and continues to take on more and more. We like to enjoy saying ‘look at her, she does it all!’ We don’t take the time to look at how all of those things are affecting her personal and professional life in ways that are unseen. We just see the list of tasks and roles and celebrate , like it’s a ticket to success to be run into the ground with nothing but a few hours to sleep at night.
fyi: that’s not long lasting success. That’s a fast ticket to a burn out. I won’t be boarding that train ya’ll.
