This past Autumn, the beginning of pre-school was an adjustment of weekly colds, new friends and experiences.

Although I am sure we are not free from the colds from classmates, I am so thrilled to see that all of these new experiences have brought our little one, who is full of life, into a new sense of herself.

As she has been adjusting, so have I.

Learning how to capitalize on the time that we have apart and find what works with this new life while also realizing it is just a stepping stone into this coming Autumn when she begins her first year in Elementry School.

What We’ve Been Capitalizing On

Time Apart

While she has been in preschool, I have been embracing the time as admin hours. Catch up on emails, write up interviews, social media for work purposes and get the ball rolling for various projects. I have learned that although I am not able to dig into too many things during those hours, I can get a lot of things moving and addressed.

Playdates

We have begun having meaningful playdates amidst the busy of life and learning what it means to create meaningful and caring friendships. Seeing the connection that has begun to grow between Zoë and one of her friends has brought so much joy and excitement into our lives.

Learning at Home

When at home we are doing our best to create space for her to freely play while also sneaking in some mindful learning. Some of the ways we do this are through a great gift from her Great Grandmother in the Kiwi Crate subscription package she is receiving now which sends you a package of learning and creative activities to do monthly. Learning to follow along with words and pick out / read the connecting words (to, a, and, the), watching a new film monthly, exploring music through playlists, piano, and her new Ukelele, etc.

Weekends

Capitalizing on the weekends in what the season has to offer by exploring the farmers market, going out in the snow and making use of a gift we received in a year pass to the Discovery Centre in Downtown Halifax.

On set with mama. 2019

Over the past year I have been on a journey on what it means ‘for me’ to be both my daughters primary care giver and to be active in my chosen career.

What I have found thus far:

I schedule around the time with my daughter.

Before a new work week begins, I sit down and see where the windows of time will be where she is on a visit to a grandparents, will be doing activities with her father or anyone else. Then I schedule in my work after that. (notwithstanding, previously arranged meetings, appointments or filming shoots.)

I honour the work and my daughter.

There are days I would rather just kick it around the house or goof off with a friend, but I realize if I don’t show up for both my daughter and my work I become resentful to whatever has distracted or is keeping me from either.

I grow at my own right pace.

As I grew into this motherhood thing, I realized that I valued my work and wanted to grow and mature professionally in a manner that was steady, healthy and challenging in all the right ways. My pace and someone else’s pace will be different and that’s okay.

What I wish others knew

I work really hard to be present.

I give you and my life 100% of me, which is naturally just a part of who I am as a person. It also means I can drain my reserves quickly if I am not managing myself properly and keeping margin in my daily life.

I love being there for both my daughter and my work.

There is nothing that makes me happier than having a day with a meaningful activity with my daughter and getting some work done amidst it all.

I need you to reach out to me too.

I take maintaining relationships seriously, and I have realized that although I am the driving force in many relationships, I need someone else to take the drivers seat off and on.

*A Note on ‘Being Busy’ & Celebrating the Exhaustion…

There is this unfortunate celebration of the woman who is balancing everything and continues to take on more and more. We like to enjoy saying ‘look at her, she does it all!’ We don’t take the time to look at how all of those things are affecting her personal and professional life in ways that are unseen. We just see the list of tasks and roles and celebrate , like it’s a ticket to success to be run into the ground with nothing but a few hours to sleep at night.

fyi: that’s not long lasting success. That’s a fast ticket to a burn out. I won’t be boarding that train ya’ll.

Headshot taken by Claire Fraser

Starting Brilliansea with Claire Fraser called for an updated headshot for the both of us & for continuity for our projects.

It’s Symbolism

This headshot marks the start of a new phase in my work. Bringing continuity and a more curated streamline vision for the projects that I work on and do.

Honouring My Motherhood

Motherhood has given me a lot of time to be hands-full with something other than ‘the grind’. I have been separated from the professional field & with that has also given me perspective. Realizing what is worth the work and growth verses what is going to drain and take a toll from being the mother I feel called to be.

Ready to Serve

Over the past decade I have learned that I am at my most joy-filled when what I am creating serves others. This awareness has given me permission to hone in on the projects that serve others and bring others higher. This is my passion and my joy. No matter what I am doing, that it serves others in their journey.

Three Years.

For three years Zoë has been changing the atmosphere around her and it was this past year that she took her expression and communication to the next level.  One day she was saying only a handful of words and still in diapers and the next she was retelling stories with description and using the bathroom like it was no big deal.  

As a parent each of these stages can feel like a lifetime.  Patiently being there for a little spirit with the right balance of encouragement, comfort, presence and peace.

We have always sensed that she held a lot inside and processed internally.  It wasn't until this year that we were able to truly see how beautiful it all was.  Zoë's ability to connect deeply with the world around her goes into a place that humbles me.

She is the spirit that deeply sees.

She is the spirit that deeply hears.

She is the spirit that deeply feels.

I am not sure what this all means as she grows, but what I do know it means in part, is that as parents Jeremy and I are called to be more vigilant with our actions and communication with each other and the world around us.  

To model what it means to feel all emotions with acceptance, presence and the knowledge that to live a deep and whole life, one must accept every layer of emotion.

Sometimes, I want to be selfish, have my own pity party and temper tantrum.  Believe you and me...there are days that I have a bubbling up of emotions that need to be dealt with and yet that is where she teaches me.  Her presence is teaching me that I cannot just let my own emotions and issues bubble over onto her, for that would do more harm than good, but that I seek a healthy and true processing release that allows her to witness these emotions in ways that models to her it is okay.

It is okay to be sad.

It is okay to be confused.

It is okay to be angry.

It is okay to be hurt.

It's how we process them, feel them, act on them and experience them within our lives and project them out to others that matters.

In our home I have put words on a wall, tucked quietly beside a light switch a reminder for us and anyone else who feels deeply.

"We have room for all of your emotions here."

I want that to be true for my daughter as she grows.  That her home is her safe place.  That her parents are people who feel lot's of things and who are not scared to process and journey through those feelings.

Three years seems like such a short time, but in three years, she has taught me more about how I express myself than any of the twenty-six years before.

This is important.  It's so easy to breeze past these thoughts and real life living because it's not as glitzy as the 'on the go', sexy snaps of #writerlife or #familylife.  It's the in-between.  The moments that are missed that give the fuller picture. 

Posted on Instagram:

"Here's the real...
.
Nothing worth it comes easy & the juggle is real. It's a toddler table next to the work desk. It's the episode planning on a wall next to a box of play-dough. It's the full time mothering and running out to a meeting with the best partner in crime. It's the struggling with the fear & the pushing and pulling apart of the work. 
I am a full time mother. 
I am a full time writer. 
My brain is going in a million ways daily and I know that I was made for this. 
But the real is that I have had to let go of some wonderful things. I dance less, I miss out on events, I let people down just by trying to be both mother and writer. 
I wouldn't trade it. The exhausting days with a teething toddler & the evenings with glittering lights around my desk begging me to go meet my dreams. Walking to the park in the morning to be spirited and free and then driving out to a meeting to be badass and a bit edgy. 
Thankful for the spirits who come along side my wild and independence and give me the permission to explore, work hard and raise a wild soul. 
This is my real insane happy life."

And I am thankful.  

For the journey.
For the support around me.
For the inspirations.
For the experiences.
For the colleagues.

Staying feet planted on the ground and spirit reaching for the depths.  

I have known Christine almost my entire life and throughout that time I have been in consistent awe of her creativity, her individuality and her abundance of love.  This woman has impacted my life in major ways and I credit her with passing on to me self-confidence, bravery, freedom to belt songs out because I have a voice and can use it, writing words on walls, and even just to let loose and think outside the box.  Christine continues to dig deep and create along the way.  I am THRILLED to share her words with you!

How would you describe yourself?

I would describe myself as classically edgy.  I love wearing ultra short hairstyles, wearing chunky-bling jewelry and looking like no one else.  I love tattoo's you can't see, and being the cool mom who writes notes in lunches everyday.  I am lover, a supporter, a confrontation avoid-er, a survivor and a fighter.  

What role does creativity play in your life?

It plays a HUGE role in my life and I credit my creativity with saving my life.  I am able to think on my feet, I have a solution for everything.  I've succeeded in my career for unique ideas and creativity.  I am a super cool mom because I am creative, Best Halloween Costumes, homemade pencil cases, wicked teacher gifts, and tutus for every occasion fun lunches and Pinterest shaming birthday parties.

What are you currently working / focused on?

I am currently working on some birthday shirts, home reno's, and a matching dress for me and my daughter for an up coming wedding.  I love to use water color at night to relax which watching TV.  I just need to be doing something creative it is a great outlet especially for my mental health

What was the last book/movie/podcast etc. that left an impression on you?

'What the Health' on Netflix scared me and I didn't know what to buy in groceries for a week. 

What advice would you give to other creatively driven people?

Creatively driven people need an outlet.  I suffer with a Mental Health Issues, this is the first time I am admitting it publicly. I need creativity in my life to relax and center me.  I get enjoyment and health from being creative.  Pick up the brush, grab the pen, dust off the sewing machine just let your creative juices flow.  You'll never be upset you did it. 

The Mom Show at the Company House in The Atlantic Fringe Festival 2016

So far in my work, the theme of womanhood has been a common thread.  Maybe its because I am a woman, or maybe it's because I am the type of woman who thrives on the magic that happens when women unite forces.  Either way, when it came to continuing 'The Mom Show' I saw women being the centre of it's continued existence. 

Women coming alongside other women, women collaborating with women and women becoming a stronger voice in the places they hold in this world.  

In saying that, I also believe that my own self-doubt, fear and insecurities are the reasons I feel inclined to focus on women and their experiences.  When we unite as women we create spaces for empathy, courage and strength that didn't exist before.  We create them for ourselves and future generations.  It's not about women who work, women who stay at home, women who have kids, women who don't have kids, women who can't have kids.... It's not about any of that.  

It's about ALL of Women.   Her story, is my story.  My story is her story.

I write from my own experiences and I believe that finding ways to collaborate with other women not only brings unity and compassion but a depth in compassion for each other. 

I focus on women because I am one.  I was raised by one, and I am raising one.

So yeah, I may not be Lena Dunham, Sarah Polley or Marie Forleo, but I am Amy Grace and what I have to say and share with the other women sitting in the arena of vulnerability with me, is sacred, raw and some real deep shit.

___

THE MOM SHOW YOGA FLOW
With Katherine King
37 Shaughnessy Place
Bedford NS
Sunday May 28th
3:00 - 4:30

It's been over a year since we made this video for Newbirth Doula, Adrienne Kehler.  It feels timely to re-share our love for doulas on our daughters Zoës second birthday and only a few days before we collaborate with the Nova Scotia Doula Association.

Check out their event page for this Saturday May 6th! 
The Mom Show can be attended outside of this workshop.
4:30pm.
Bedford Basin Farmers Market
397, Bedford Highway
$15.00 at the door!
 

Excited to be spending this week preparing for showing 'The Mom Show' in collaboration with the Nova Scotia Doula Association for this coming Saturday!

Having a doula was a huge part of my birth experience and I am proud to be coming alongside them in this workshop!

If you are in the Bedford, NS area and want to see the show you do not have to be attending the workshop to come see it.  Tickets will be sold at the door for The Mom Show so don't hesitate to come by and enjoy 30 mins of comedy and honesty rolled into one!

The Mom Show at the Rebozo Connection: The Gena Kirby Method
May 6th
4:30pm <---- The Mom Show Start Time
Bedford Basin Farmers Market
397 Bedford Highway

FACEBOOK PAGES
The Mom Show
Rebozo Connection Workshop

In this Episode Zoë and I show and discuss her dresses.  

Malasana Pose / As I like to call it : the natural birthing pose. 

I often get asked 'Why yoga?' when I describe my thirty minute one woman comedy/drama show is me on a yoga mat, doing yoga and using yoga as a platform to share my work.

I wrote The Mom Show or The Most Boring Show Ever at first, as a cathartic exercise.  The only thing coming out after having a baby was 'about having a baby'.  It was natural for me to let the words flow from a true and honest place.  I hope all women believe that what they have to share in their evolution into motherhood is valued and has a place in this world.  We need to hear more from them.

Woman. Mother.
Mother. Woman.

For me, they are one.  Intertwined and equally as valuable.  From my womanhood I am mother, and from my mother I am woman.  
 
Learning how to move my body again post birth by using my daily yoga practice was a healing journey.  My identity had been drastically altered and I was adrift with my own spirit and calling.  We'd all like to be those tough women who say "Motherhood didn't change me!"  But it does!  Anyone who says that it doesn't either has never had a child, been parents for years and blocked that stage of life out, or are trying to sell you something. 

Yoga is the ultimate mind, body, spirit workout.  By practicing it everyday that first month after my daughter was born I was giving myself permission to connect with my breath, my heartbeat, my true core questions and thoughts.  

So when I sat down with all of my thoughts on Mother. Woman.  Woman. Mother.  And began to edit each draft, I was seeing how clearly it all ebbed and flowed.  I could feel the inhale and the exhale in my words and the most natural thing in that moment was to pair them with yoga.

I chose yoga because it doesn't hide the truth about you.  If you are anxious or unsettled it shows, if you are strong and confident, it also shows.  There is a raw and deeply spiritual physical representation of oneself when you move your body and this is why I chose Yoga to be the platform for a one woman show about womanhood and motherhood intertwined.

Attending the  New Waves Workshop Series by Women In Film and Television Atlantic has been an empowering and enriching experience so far.  There are many notes from these classes stowed in a corner of my desk waiting for a more relaxing day in the summer to ponder and make intentional plans with.  Tips, tricks, quippy quotes... amazing things happen when you put creative women around a table and are vulnerable with each others need to learn more.

One of these nights we were able to play around with a tool for Stop Motion Video.  It seemed fitting that I apply it to my upcoming show.

THE MOM SHOW YOGA FLOW
1313 Hollis Street, Halifax. N.S.
10:30am
30 Min One Woman Show
45 Min Yoga Flow
 

This Spring the Mom Show is rolling out it's mat to collaborate with Lindsay Umlah to provide "The Mom Show & Yoga Flow".  We're excited to see how this 30 minute comedic show along with a 45 Minute flow will empower, enrich and bring light to mamas, women and anyone wanting to support them.  

FROM THE FACEBOOK EVENT PAGE & EVENTBRITE:

'Amy will be performing The Mom Show or The Most Boring Show Ever, her empowering and comedic take and journey through new motherhood from prenatal to postpartum. Using yoga as a platform, along with comedic honesty, Amy performs the journey of a woman becoming mother in todays society and aims to empower by delving into self care, self worth and what it means to see oneself as whole and worthy. The Mom Show isn't just for moms. It's for anyone wanting to take back their worth and have a laugh while doing it. 

Lindsay will follow up Amy’s performance with an enriching and inspiring yoga flow helping you deeply connect to the message of empowerment and worth strung throughout Amy’s performance. We’ll flow, laugh, and reconnect to our power by moving our bodies with breath. All bodies and levels are welcome, as this is an opportunity to dive in, explore and reconnect to your power and strength by showing up with curiosity and openness. 

This workshop is perfect whether you’re a new mom, expecting mama, or someone who enjoys a good laugh and an opportunity to be empowered and inspired by the fierceness that is woman. You can rest assured that whatever stage of life you’re in, if you show up, you will leave feeling empowered, inspired and a little more connected to your fierce and fabulous self.

We look forward to seeing you on your mat.'
 

I have listened to Ellie on her podcast 'Atomic Moms' ever since I gave birth to my daughter almost two years ago.  This woman is the real deal.  She is everything real, raw and fun.  Ellie and I have been in touch off and on over the past two years and I have always enjoyed how she is consistently herself and a grounded human being.  Find Ellie and her work : on iTunes & the Atomic Moms Website

How would you describe yourself?

My toddler would describe me as her personal assistant, my husband would call me his "manic pixie" pain in the butt, and I would describe myself as a sloppy perfectionist.  (But hey, aren't there studies out there saying that messy types are more creative?) I have to admit I spend a lot of time in negotiations with my critical thoughts, or what I like to call the Tribunal of A**holes in my mind.  And as much as I struggle with self-judgment, I am extremely empathetic towards others.  I am learning to accept that I'm definitely at my worst when I'm "over-prepared" and at my best when all my ducks aren't in a row, when I just have to let my instincts kick in.  Also, I'm pretty goofy and I laugh a lot. 

What role does creativity play in your life?

Excuse me while I get melodramatic for a moment: without creativity, WHAT IS THE POINT?!!! Creativity is the magic of life.  I love creating my podcast every week but never have I ever had to be more creative than in my role as mother.  When you forget to bring diaper wipes on a cross-country flight, you've got to get creative.  When it's been raining for three days straight and you're home with a kid who can't read yet and who shouldn't watch hours of television, you've got to get creative.  When you realize that you've been so consumed by the other creative aspects of your life that you haven't gone to the grocery store and now you have to pack a school lunch at 11pm, you get creative.  

What are you currently working on?

I'm in the middle of researching, recording, and editing our upcoming episodes of Atomic Moms Podcast.  On the show, we explore the joys and complexities of caring for our children and ourselves.  I interview best-selling authors, parenting experts, and moms around the world.  It's really important to me that each show feels fresh and honest.  Celebrating the messiness of motherhood is a very big deal to me.  And our international tribe of mom listeners keep us accountable.  If it were just up to me, I'd spend my whole life writing and never showing anyone any of it.  It's imperative that I be accountable to others and have a deadline.  That's when I'm most creative.  

What was the last book/movie/podcast etc. that left an impression on you?

I have a New York Times magazine clipping taped to my desk that I'll slap on a vision board if I ever get around to making one.  Sarah Jessica Parker says: "I have always loved to read for the same reason I love to act, which is that other people's stories are more interesting than my own."  While I think there is enormous value in exploring one own's story, this quote always propels me forward when I'm feeling a bit self conscious about sharing on the podcast.  It reminds me that the process of creation is so much bigger than any one of us.  And it reminds me of the Meisner acting technique:  "Put your attention on the other person."  When we do that, in acting, or in conversation, we drop our self-consciousness and end up revealing a much more authentic part of ourselves in the process. 

What advice would you give to other creatively drive people? 

Fill your creative tank every single day.  Befriend artists in different creative fields.  Some of us "creatively driven" types are so damn serious.  Use every excuse you have to PLAY.  And take more showers than is good for the environment...That's where I get my best ideas.