Nicole Payzant Photography

The first six months:

New little family.  New little home.

Being parents to this little fire cracker is the biggest blessing and honour.  

We knew it was going to change us better and new, but we didn't realize how much we would change.  She has changed us.  

Her spirit upon conception filled me.  I felt her before I knew of her.   As her movements became normal to me, I took her in and felt her rythm and pace.  She was her own beat and I knew that this daughter was going to come out different, new and wonder-filled. 

I prayed then, and we pray now as we zip her into her sleep sac, wrap her up in her favourite yellow blanket, kiss her and pass her her beloved 'purple guy' which she grabs and pulls his blanket body over her face. 

"We pray you have a strong voice, an ability to discern and a strong sense of self."

So we parent this daughter who howls at any amount of disgruntlement, keeps eyes wide open for the world around her, and who leaves us amazed at what she is affected by.

It is she who is teaching us.

We are learning daily what it means to be present and aware.  We are aiming to not just suggest a healthy lifestyle, but to model it.  To model it, we have to be disciplined and determined of our own lives. 

Raising her is already days full of laughter, cries and outbursts of singing.  We are blessed beyond belief with her presence and we can only pray and continue to stubbornly demonstrate the life we want her to know.

What we have learned so far is that parenthood is not about you or about us.  Parenthood is about each unique spirit that is placed in the parents hands to raise up in a way that matches the unit that is created.  It is a her, him and I type of journey.  Each child is unique and each little family different.  

May we honour this journey and never take the blessing of her life for granted.  

Emotional / Physical Wellness

We rush and rush.  Our lists are long.  We are either procrastinating or we aren't breathing.

Christmas season is approaching.  Advent is coming.

Do we really want to be stalled on the couch watching commercials of the next meal deal?  Do we really want to be racing through the malls with a list as long as our intestines?

As December is approaching let us take stalk in our pace.

Bring it back, or take a step up.  Either way we need to go, it's our time to be paced with the advent of Christmas.

Where do you need to slow down?  Where do you need to take initiative? 

Spiritual / Social Wellness 

We see it everywhere.

This hashtag 'Authentic' thing.

But are we doing it?

Really?  Are we really being that #authentic living type of thing?

What does it mean? 

Authentic.  adj.  1. of undisputed origin; genuine. 2. (in existentialist philosophy) relating to or denoting an emotionally appropriate, significant, purposive and responsive mode of human life.

When we sit down with our friends and family are we truly being our whole self in front of them?  Are we willing to ask and listen to their whole self in front of us? 

It goes both ways.

We can talk and talk about us but if we are not willing to ask and 'listen' to the authentic across from us then we are just a mouthpiece and we loose our meaning.  

We create depth and unity when there is more then just our own air in the room.  

How are you acting out your authenticy?  Are you taking the time to respond to others 'authentic'?   

We have gotten that crisp Autumn in our veins.  

We went deep.

We gathered small this time.  We gathered with our real and our raw and sometimes that leaves some of us breathless.  

We hesitate with our words, our art hangs in the balance of our honest moments and yet somehow blending it with others interrupts us from our safe place.

We are safe, yet we are in danger.

Us women who gathered were in danger of collapsing into what we are all scared of.

Judgement.

The pain and anguish of releasing ourselves into a wild feminine unknown.  Like lionesses we are barring our proverbial teeth, blood dripping with the kill and we have to protect ourselves from those who want what is rightfully ours to bring to the pack.

This may seem dramatic in words... this imagery of female prowess but in truth? It is not.

We Creatives are powerhouses of creation and the spirits we house are wild, daring, seductive and striking.  

Each woman different and dynamic addition to 'our pack'.  

A creative sits on the divide between pain and ecstasy.  We may differ in how we choose to label it, discuss it or entertain it, but it is there just the same.

This month the creatives entered the divide and we came out on the other side one step closer to comprehending what it is we have pitted ourselves up against.

These are the warrior women I am proud to welcome into my home.  These are the spirits who strive to take the divide and make it seen.

I stand in the elements with these wild ones.  

Emotional Wellness

We live in a world of 'Yes'.  

"You can have it all."  

Is this truth?

Everything comes with perspective.

What happens in a world of 'yes', when we say 'no'? No to the pressure, no to the perfection, no to the impatience and no to the expectations?

There is resistance in 'No', in this world of 'Yes'.

What if 'No' was good for us?

What if a 'No' was the word that was going to keep us from the next meltdown, car accident, overtired day, extra weight on the scale?

Is there value in saying 'no'?

Discipline and boundaries dare you to try it.

Saying 'no'  doesn't have to be the cringing word that slinks away after a guilt trip.  

Saying 'no' could be an empowering tool to keep us truthful.  Honest.  Real.

What have you said 'yes' to that you should have said a truthful 'no' to?  Have you been lying to others and yourself by saying 'yes'?  

Physical Wellness

Just when you thought it couldn't get anymore green with avacodos in our supermarkets ...Kale made it's grand entrance.

I am so glad it did.  

With its cancer fighting contents, anti inflammatory and detoxification goodness this green leaf has the power to punch a healthy streak into your diet.

I wasn't a Kale fan at first.

Bitter.  Blech.

And then during postpartum we found Kale Smoothies.

A beautiful way to blend it up and get all that green goodness. 

So join us in Kale-ing it out.  (We find protein powder, cold bananas and ice cubes are essentials for our favourite K-Smoothie bliss)

What green have you been ignoring?  Have you tried a Kale smoothie recipe before? How can you put Kale into your diet?

Emotional/Spiritual Wellness

During Thanksgiving weekend (for us Canadians) we can know we are thankful but may not feel thankful.

Knowing is important.

Feeling is also important.

Some may say feelings are unnecessary but in fact, feeling is a very important aspect to being human.  

Identify what we are feeling.

I felt. 

Nothing.

I could see the blessings.

But could not feel the blessings.

So we counted.

We counted to a hundred of our 'Thankful Things' and found the feelings in the counting.

We smiled as we thought of what blessings we have encountered and have in our lives.  We were made fresh in our joy and our thankfulness.

What are you feeling lately?  How can you identify your feelings in a healthy way?  Pick a number and count it out.

1) Zoë.  

I am learning her everyday and although she is fifty percent me, and fifty percent him, she is one hundred percent her own person.  She beats to her own drum and I love that.  I love her expressions, her ability to make herself known and her unique voice.  

2) Mom.

The ease in which I have been able to become 'mama' in front of my own mom.  It was that first moment when she walked into the hospital room and saw us together.  New mama and babe.   "How are you?"  Those first three words although so simple in the midst of her 'New Grandmother' role, created space and room for us to grow as Mother and Daughter with Daughter.   

3) Nature.

We prayed for nature at our new home.  We craved it.  I, especially, felt the call to the ocean.  I did not know why, or how it would be possible but the ocean was in my heart.  Now, moved and still in the midst of renos and settling, we are blessed with the atmosphere around us.  Daily hour long walks along the ocean have given my spirit a whole new resting place.

4) Inspiration.

The muse comes and goes.  All creatives know this struggle.  How to wait and be patient before the next project alights on us.  I continue to dabble and work on the side projects that keep me alive but have 'heard' my next long term project and it changes me.  It gives this new stage a purpose beyond the present.  I am inspired.

5) Jeremy.  

The past few months of our lives as a couple have been some of the toughest to date.  A marriage that works is one that takes communication, sacrifice, forgiveness and overflowing grace.  We have been passing the grace cup between us for months now.  Urging this season forward and putting boundaries down where we have needed.  What may look like us being overly private and especially quiet has been months of hard and solid work to keep our marriage and little family alive.  Never underestimate the time it takes to feed into a real life.  Jeremy is a man who dedicates not just his physical presence into our marriage but his emotional presence.  I am so thankful for our growth, discovery and journey together. 

Emotional Wellness

Becoming a mama only put "multi-tasking" on overdrive. 

Was this necessary? 

Yes.

Is this maintainable forever?  

No.

It is time to take a step back and "mono-task".

One thing at one time.

It means I will be even more slow at responding to emails, more unavailable to social media and more hard to pin down.

Ladies and gentlemen of the jury.  We are all guilty of saying 'yes' to much and 'no' to little.  We are all guilty of scrolling through our latest 'feeds' while sitting next to a loved one when they were watching us...waiting for the next moment we would (maybe) tune in.

I am tuning in.

We need to tune in.

This multi-tasking life is taking over our lives.  

The TV flashes with the news blaring when family is visiting, the phones dinging with 'notifications' in the middle of a conversation, the minds running over lists and lists of to dos while a child twisting and turning, learning how to move and we are too busy 'catching up' with the world to be present in our own.

Mono-Task.  The ability to do one thing, at one time.

Try it.

When have you caught yourself checking out of your present life to check into places you are not actually 'in'?  How can you tackle your day to day being present in one thing at one time?

A new location by the water.

Connected and reconnected.

We began the night by gathering in the kitchen and sharing in introductions, catching up and getting comfortable.  It's the way of gatherings.  First, you gather.  Then you can go deep.

"Why do we hermit?  Good or bad?"  I asked.  The night unfolded.

We've been hermits in our work or from the outside world for various reasons.  No matter the reasons, we often fall into prolonged hermitting due to the fear we have allowed in our lives.

The labels we have allowed and are working to scrub off.  We are actively choosing to be who we believe we are.  Who we were called to be.  And yet we walk everyday in atmospheres, clothes and maybe even relationships that feel old and stuffy.  

Questions swirl:

Where are my real friends?

What is my real job?

What is my 'thing' right now?

Does it matter?

???

In a way, yes, it matters very much.

In another way.  It doesn't.

Who we are in this moment, today, is what matters.

As one smart woman put it: "Confidence: if you are something, you just are.  This is what I am."

Taking the time and space to begin to connect with our spirits and hearts to find out who it is we feel called to be will create that confidence.  It's an inner knowing that surpasses any judgement, label or preconceived notion of who we are.

Creativity is all around us, and we want to go to the next level.

Join the Creatives in October to level up with us!

Intellectual Wellness

Sometimes the well is dry.  There is a drought and we are thirsty.  

Thirsty for a new move.  Thirsty for more than just a new episode of jeopardy to keep us lively.  A new episode of anything is the least of what we should be living for.

And yet.  Our land is dry.  We are the dry land.  Listless, bored and tired of seeing pictures of someone elses' life that we think we want.

We THINK we want.  Really...we want our life.

A life we have been given for a purpose.  A life full of what we were made for.

Let's dig into the earth around us and open our eyes to what can inspire us to dance again.  There is a reason why we are surrounded by these things, those people and live in that place.  Dig into it.  Maybe you'll be inspired to let your roots grow deep where you stand.  And maybe you'll be inspired to pick up your leaves and walk.  Either way....dig deep.

Go past the bottom of the well and into the damp rich soil around you.  It was put there for you.

Be inspired and let it spring you forth out of the chair and into living a life that was made for you.

What atmosphere can you sink into that will inspire you?  Where are you dry?  What excites you?  What habit have you let into your life that distracts you from being inspired with living?

Emotional / Relational Wellness

When life goes awry what do we reach for?

I was thrown into the thick of things the last few months.

Sometimes we need space.  Sometimes we need help.  And all of the time, we need a good dose of positivity.  

Surrounding ourselves with that and those who feed into a positive life is essential to maintaining balance during a turbulent time. 

On our own, we are enough negativity.   We hold all the worry, negative thought process, guilt and shame.  It's time for us to open our eyes and seek out that and those around us who will feed into us positively.  

Empathy and a listening ear are priceless, but our need to rehash and retell the negative to hear it is a selfish act.

We are caught in a vortex that speaks death over our lives and it feels good.  A catharses for our 'pride'.   "Look at me, see me, notice little me." 

We are called to be more.

We are called to : Speak real.  Speak truth.  Speak out of the pit.  

May we be that for those around us, and have the discernment to know when we should be reaching for the light in the dark.

Positivity doesn't mean ignoring the brokenness, it means hearing the broken and feeding into the life.

Where can we act in positive ways this week?  Who has spoken life into our lives?   

Speak out of the dark and into the light.