I spent the better of two decades telling myself University was not for someone like me.
I thought finances, intellect, individuality, and worthiness were beyond my means.
Was this because of my conservative upbringing, where women were often pigeonholed as the caregivers of their families while the men worked? Was this because of the teachers who saw my marks and considered me a lost cause? Or was this a lie of my own making?

The unwinding of these self-restrictive thoughts continues, but their hold on me does not.

Sitting in the lecture hall of the Unversity of Kings College on the first day of my master’s education earlier this year, I was struck by how, rather than standing out as an odd duck, I was simply normal.

A storyteller and producer who knew and had honed her craft and was ready to refine it to it’s next level.

“Storytelling is your power and home here.” Gillian Turnbull - Director of Writing and Publishing, University of Kings College

Back to school is not just an ‘era’; it is coming home to the side of myself that I had believed I needed to hide. The side that intuitively knows the heartbeat and cadence of the scene, can break down story and character development without blinking and is more knowledgeable about the craft of the story than she lets on. The side that spins words to find healing and wholeness, the side that digs deeper into the personal to dig deeper in the relational. The side that knows that the craft of writing is a craft that can build bridges as quickly as it can burn them.

To the side of myself I had let collect dust and believed was put to bed for good, I say welcome home.

You belong here.

“It took me way too long to realize that one core thread, was me.” - Amy Grace
A Threads Projects

First Love | Lilly Dancyger

A heart-wrenching book of essays on the true love stories in our lives. Friendship. Specifically Lilly and her relationships with all of the women she has called friends.

The House Across the LakE | Riley Sager

It's a perfect rapid read for vacation. A ‘who dun it’ that turns into something more than that. No need to spoil. If you are looking for a psychological suspense novel - this is it.

Good Inside | Dr.Becky Kennedy

After listening to various podcast episodes by Dr.Becky, I decided to pick up the book. Focusing on the core value that all children and adults are ‘good inside,’ this book helps remind us to take a mindful approach in our parenting to support self-regulation, compassion, confidence and resilience. Highly recommend.

The Soulmate | Sally Hepworth

Another great rapid read: The Soulmate is perfect for summer vacation. It is equally moody, entertaining, and suspenseful.

The Next Mrs.Parish | Liv Constantine

This is the sequel to The Last Mrs.Parish. I read it during vacation and deeply enjoyed how all the characters continued the chess game that made the first book fun. I am amazed this hasn’t been made into a film by now. It's a great read all around.

FILMS/TV SERIES OF NOTE
Baby Reindeer - because it’s a true story that will leave you speechless.
Parent Trap ‘97 - because a rainy day on vacation deserves a great classic film to watch.
Argylle - because it’s a fun play on all the spy troupes one can find. Films don’t always have to be serious.
Physical S03 - because it’s a fun summer watch & I think Rose Byrns makes it. (warning: dysregulated eating is an underlying theme)
Inside Out 2 - because the second is as deep as the first.

The Last Breath | Kimberlly Belle

This is a fun, suspenseful read when one is looking for a distraction. The graphic descriptions of small portions seemed unnecessary to me. Readers don’t need as much gore to buy in as one might think.

The Old Moon in Her Arms | Lorri Neilson Glenn

Hearing Lorri read a small portion of this book on the first day of my degree was a moment I will not forget. Her words and presence are as deep as they are witty, and there is a reflectiveness in her writing that I deeply aspire to. Reading this collection of essays has been a refreshment and a beautiful anchor point in why I wanted to do this master's program.

The First Shot | Liv Constantine

I re-read the prequel to prepare for the sequel to The Last Mrs.Parish. I love the protagonist's twists and turns, and it says enough that I willingly ‘re-read’ this.

Family Trouble | Joy Castro

This book of essays is from the required reading list in my Master's program. It is a collection of essays from those who have written memoirs and writings that reflect their families.

Lessons in Chemistry | Bonnie Garmus

I adored this read. Bonnie’s beautiful writing keeps this story alive and the characters even more. Without spoiling, this book follows a female chemist's struggles and life happenings in the 1960’s. It is as charming as it is pointed. It’s very clear to me why it got picked up for a tv series on Apple TV.

The Last Mrs.Parish | Liv Constantine

In preparation for the second book, I reread the first. Liv Constantine (team of two writers) did not disappoint in this reread. I found it as riveting as the first time. No spoilers. Just read it for yourself.

FILMS / TV SERIES OF NOTE

I am Celine - Her voice and interviews filled a lot of important moments for me, and watching this was as impactful as those moments.
Wish - For the art style alone (& if you pay attention - there is a fascinating narrative woven in regarding those in governance and leadership).
Baby Reindeer Season 1 - Because it claims to be a true story and has been talked about for weeks. It’s FASCINATING.

Our Knots are showing.
A Threads Project

As our little family of three evolves, we have begun to explore what dipping our toes in travel looks like for us and decided to start where are hearts were already, with our best friends.

Visiting Nanaimo, British Columbia, along with other obvious places (Vancouver, Victoria, Coombs, Chemainus etc.), was a no-brainer. Our goal to experience the coast they live on and the landmarks that make up their lives was quite honestly the best place to start.

Standout moments/experiences

• Capilano Suspension Bridge & Walkways

• Lantzville Beach for a dip (it seemed essential to experience the Pacific Ocean)

• Window Seat Books in Nanaimo (beautiful independent bookstore)

• Horang - Korean-inspired restaurant bar - (the food was explosively good)

• Sticky Rice Mango Bowl at Dumpling Drop in China Town in Victora

• Butterfly world (we learned some things)

• A ridiculous souvenir our daughter picked up in Coombs (it became a mascot of the trip)

• The special moments together when we did nothing but talk, read, nap and muddle about.

I don’t need to travel to feel fulfilled or inspired, but I deeply enjoy living alongside those I love, and this adventure gave me all those values and then some.

Starting 2024 with a word like Ace felt like a power move that scared and excited me.

The 2020s have been notorious far for being wild and completely unhinged in what they have brought us, and yet - perhaps that was why I needed to plant my feet firmly on the ground and claim a word that I had already been secretly honing in on.

During the past six months, Ace has taught me…

Ask the Questions

If something doesn’t pass the smell test, you are right 99.9% of the time. Don’t question your concerns after seeing the proof.

Make Your Move

You move how you need to move for yourself and those you advocate for.

Stay Patient

While waiting for things to play out, stay quiet (only after you have made your move), humble, and patient.

Celebrate the Outcomes

When the outcome turns in your favour, celebrate. Your hard work deserves to be relished.

Rise to the Occasion

Hard work doesn’t end at the celebration point. Continue to rise to the occasion.

Looking back at January’s 2024 OneWord Post : A Year of Aces

Summer’s arrival often hits me hard.

There is a headiness to it, the way the humidity falls in the air as the gardens bloom their last flower of the spring and the way the sun raises itself to what seems like the highest point in the sky.

It glares down sharply, and if I am being honest, the first day of it makes me nervous.

Summer’s arrival is a reminder of traumatic memories like a phantom pain.

I may know the pain is from years past, but here I am again reminded of that initial ache—that first bloom of despair.

It happens often during the first few morning walks of the summer season. I have tracked its timing for the past decade and noted how I subconsciously groan, shield my eyes, and catch the skip in my breath as my heartbeat speeds up.

The connection between the mind, body, and soul never ceases to amaze me.
I may always have this reaction to summer’s arrival, and I am learning to acknowledge the phantom pains as they are: phantom. Illusive. Figments. Something I cannot see or touch - but feel is there.

In these moments, I have learned to place my hand on my heart and envision myself standing ankle-deep in the ocean waves. The sharp, cold lick of the Atlantic bringing me back to my center self. I let my mind remind myself of the sound of the ocean waves, and I imagined the coastal fog surrounding me like a protective hug. Only the seagulls can see me, I tell myself.
And then…
Somewhere in the reminder of all that is grounding, safe and true - the phantom passes, and it is just me outside in the summer sun - with plans for the day and hopes for the weeks ahead.

I’ve been picking at the threads…
I didn’t realize there were so many.
- A Threads Project
byamygrace

Run Hide Repeat | Pauline Dakin

In preparation for taking a course from Pauline, I had the foolish idea I could finish this sega before her classes. Clearly, I misjudged my calendar and energy during residency, and I found myself in front of Pauline only 35 pages or so into her memoir, yet riveted by her story already.
I resolved to finish it before the end of her course.
And I did. I couldn’t put it down.
For what it’s worth, Pauline makes space for what so many of us have underpinning our upbringings. “It must be real because they say it is and love me.”
What happens when you begin to doubt the history that made you and find that things might not be exactly as they seem?

The Dead Romantics | Ashley Poston

It is a surprisingly fun read after a month of heavy reading to prepare for residency in my master's program. The Dead Romantics is outlandish in its premise (a woman falling in love with a ghost), yet it gives a light-hearted, meaningful read for a tired mind.

Nine Perfect Strangers | Liane Moriarty

Going against all my values, I watched the Nine Perfect Strangers before reading the book. I am righting this wrong by reading the intense sega that was turned into a limited series and finding it just as enjoyable.

The Tea Dragon Festival | K. O’Neill

Due to it lying about our house, I picked up the second one my daughter had out from the library and let myself enjoy the world she was in.
The Tea Dragon series is imaginative, fun and beautiful to look at.

TV/FILMS OF NOTE
Bridgerton S03 - because everyone needs to eat cake sometimes… this was my cake after a long day of work.
Gilmore Girls S04 - because my brain was too tired to watch anything but comforting rewatches of the Gilmore households.
Inside Out - because I knew it would be a perfectly timed watch with our nine-year-old

Sitting in Alumni Hall, taking notes from brilliant local and national minds, swapping thoughts and texts with fellow writers and students, clicking laptop keys and hastily scratching pens…Residency was everything I could have wanted and then some.

We don’t often consider the true value of an academic journey when we are inside it as a young person. We are too busy striving to succeed and get to whatever we believe that-next-something needs to be.
I am reminding myself to stay in the moment I am in.
Soaking it all in.
One word and one sentence at a time.

Highlights / Notations to remember

1. The chocolate tin was a great idea. (stay stocked up for motivation through the late afternoon lectures.)

2. Keep documenting the little funny things in your path. (The poetic epitaphs carved into desks, the random condom in the back of a lecture hall, and the way your fitness watch alerted you to breathe deeply when you got nervous before pitching to a director)

3. On the ‘day off,’ block off a full morning, afternoon, or evening to rest. (a two-hour nap is not enough recharge time.)

4. Plan to skip something small on day seven. Don’t feel guilty; your nervous system needs a reset by this time.

5. Pre-schedule / book a hot yoga session for your first day back to normal living. (You’ll feel good just knowing it’s coming)

6. Keep up those morning walks, no matter how early you have to wake up for them. (Truly, they kept you sane!)

7. Stay aware and open to the students around you. (reach out to the person overwhelmed in the corner, listen to the project concept of the other writers, ask how others are doing, share insight and ideas where helpful and stay open to what you may not understand.)

8. And document the normal things. (Capture that rainbow on the first evening, the way the rain splattered at your feet, the debrief voice memos with your friends, the lectures, the way your desk looked, and the way the sun lit up the campus.)

9. Do as much as you can. Enjoy the whole process. You’ll only be doing this MFA once.

10. Enjoy every single damn second.

The Old Moon in Her Arms by Lorri Neilsen Glenn | Kings Co-op Bookstore

During Residency, Lorri Neilsen Glenn read from this book a moment that felt like a personal connection. Her unique way of weaving words, a trait only the best writers possess, left me enraptured and filled with anticipation for the two years ahead. After attending one of her classes, it became even more apparent that she continues to masterfully weave in her words and her craft of creation and life.

These are the women who catch my breath every time. I find their appearance and approach magical, mystical, and otherworldly.
I am honoured that she signed it, and I am so excited to read it officially over the summer.

Stoic Reminders Cards | Intelligent Change

I love quotes and reminders in life, and these packs of historically evergreen quotes alight my desk from week to week, helping me to stay mindful, present and awake in all of life's ups and downs.

Black Backpack | Lo & Sons

A friend asked me if I would get a backpack for my new journey as a master's student, and I laughed at first. Yet, realistically, it was the smartest choice. Over the last decade, I have made do in all my work adventures with three or more bags. I need a bag for my laptop, a bag for my notebooks and books, a bag for my gear, and a purse. Also, a lunch bag if needed. All of these bags have led to a very heavily laden me. Considering this year's life changes and adventures, I felt that purchasing a backpack that could be both work and air-travel-efficient is a great ‘all in one.’ Having it during residency proved to be exactly what I needed. I am so happy with it. It is worth all the shipping and currency costs.

Lindtt Chocolate Bars | Lindtt

During my first residency, I found motivation and energy by having a square of chocolate per session on any given day, which could be four to six sessions of taking in material, feedback, etc. I toted my tin around with broken pieces of this chocolate and shared it with my new residency friends when they, too, needed a ‘pick me up’.
Carrying these squares with me as I proceed to work on my book.

A La Sala by Khruangbin Vinyl | Taz Records

After having May Ninth sent to me by my best friend in amusement over its title being my birthday day and the lyrics having my favourite weather embedded in them, it felt fitting that this record arrived for my birthday after my partner heard the lyrics and agreed with her that it felt very much like a song made just for me.

The Umbrellas of Cherbourg Vinyl | Second Hand

Not in make anymore, we could find a copy second hand over the various vinyl stores on the internet, and this addition makes rainy spring days feel even more magical. The Umbrellas of Cherbourg is one of my favourite musicals of all time. Its bittersweet story speaks of more than sure sugar-sweet. It’s real, it's raw, and it’s ever so rainy. My favourite thing.

University of Kings College Hoodie | Kings Co-op Bookstore

Making sure my first semester of a master’s degree has a hoodie to do during late-night edits and early-morning writing sessions.

Why?

If you are anything like me, I often live in the future. I plan, aim, and predict while life is playing out in front of me.
An act of symbolism and ritual anchors me in the moment.

Setting a wild yet attainable goal often gives me purpose and something to live for in the every day, keeping me anchored. Yet so often, once I have reached that goal, I am busy planning the next one and not savouring the moment as I should.

Leaving an Ace card behind gives me the opportunity to savour what has been achieved. It is a tangible, personal way I can honour the moment without too much planning or fanfare.

How?

Be as simple and understated or as extravagant and bold with your chosen location.

A simple ‘pull it out of your pocket’ and leave it on the seat behind you where your goal/moment occurred, or a lipstick kiss implanted on the card while you slip it between memos for someone to find after you receive that raise…
It’s all up to you.

***I plan to leave one behind at a specific location very, very soon. Although they have been alerted of our plans for change, this is a symbolic gesture that we did what we needed to do for ourselves as a family.
It was an exploration journey of what else might be out there that evolved into a new adventure and an ace card is soon to be played - left behind in a crevice somewhere as a token of bravery and determination.

The Ace Dare
How to Take the Dare
The Ace Dare Journal Prompts

Monsters, Martyrs, and Marionettes | Adrienne Gruber

This book gutted me in all of the ways impactful words should. Adrienne takes us on a visual journey through essays and short windows into the realities of women and motherhood.

No Place to Go | Lezlie Lowe

Having Lezlie as a mentor for the year made me turn quickly to the words she had written. A friend had No Place to Go sitting in her bathroom and thought I would find it a great first read of Lezlie’s works.
Lezlie opens up the ‘lid’ on how culture and society have failed to meet the necessary needs of all persons.
No Place to Go is as funny as it is real, raw and sharp on matters of equality, equity and common decency.

Madness, Mayhem & Murder | Dean Jobb

As Dean Jobb is my professor for the next two years, I went all out and ordered all of the books I could find in my local library he had published. The first of them is this one. Entertaining tales of long-forgotten crimes that happened right here in Nova Scotia, Canada.

The Business of Being a Writer | Jane Friedman

A required book for the master’s program. Although I ‘read’ this book, I quickly skimmed through many sections, knowing that I would come back to it as a reference guide over the next two years.

Story Craft - Second Edition | Jack Hart

I underlined so many sections of this book.
Although not new information to me, Jack breaks down the art and mediums of storytelling in a way that packs a concise and digestible punch. I enjoyed each chapter thoroughly.

Jane Eyre | Charlotte Brontë

I have no recollection of what number of ‘re-reads’ this would make it, but I return to Jane repeatedly. Charlotte Brontë was wickedly good at telling tales. I wish she had more time on this earth to have done more.

The Tea Dragon Society | K. ONeill

Originally ordered from the library for the nine-year-old, I fell down this sweet rabbit hole as a distraction from the more serious reads. The artwork and thought behind this graphic series is so well done.

FILMS / TV SERIES OF NOTE
Bridgerton S03 - Because it’s cake. (everyone needs a slice of cake, now and then.)
Traitors Australia S01 - Because when work is busy, a fun murder mystery reality TV show is all one needs to exhale at the end of the day.

Although I knew the summer semester began at the top of May with incoming assignments, essays, lectures, readings, responses, etc. I wasn’t sure how soon they would kick in before the June residency. Turns out, it started right away.

As I have adjusted to tackling deadlines, readings, lectures, etc., I have identified some things I plan to take with me on my MFA journey.

Changes I am making:

Time Blocking

Rather than freaking out about the reading list, assignments, word count goals and meetings coming in fast, I am taking a day or two to process new information and then carefully break it down into reasonable chunks to tackle each week. 
This doesn’t mean I am not already neck-deep in work, but it does mean I can tread water and still see the horizon ahead.

Within blocking out the time to tackle each new chunk, I am also prioritizing my mind, body and soul.

Prioritizing Mind, Body & Soul

Meals, exercise, alcohol-free weekdays, sleep, quality time with my daughter and partner, meditation, therapy, unplugged moments to exhale, etc., are all being prioritized in advance to protect not only my ability to output work and study but also to honour the open journey I need to protect and maintain.

End Each Semester with an Exhale moment.

Spending a few sessions at a Nordic-inspired spa recently was intensely rejuvenating. From that experience, I identified that I would like to build into each semester's end a session at a hydrothermal spa to celebrate the work done and to empty the mind, body, and soul to prepare myself for another new semester ahead.

* These next twenty-four months have much in store for me, and I cannot imagine how life will have shifted, changed, and evolved by May 2026, when I approach graduation day.
What I do know for sure is that I want to have said that I sunk into every aspect of this journey and left nothing on the table.

****This is my dedication to my practice, my craft and the beloved act of braving the wilderness of one word at a time.

Chapter Thirty-Five

An invitation to turn the page.
An invitation to press the plot forward.
An invitation to open up and uncover even more.
What twists are before me?
What revelations are around the bend?

I am more whole and healed than I was last year.
I am more engaged with the underlayers of what has caused generational trauma in my family.
I am more awake to manipulative behaviours and how they manifest themselves within each person.
I am more alive to my intellect and depth of thought.
I am more aware of when and why I experience nervous system dysregulation.
I am more in tune with my core family unit and the few friends that last a lifetime.

I am more of this version of me.
& I am saying yes to this invitation to turn the page to enter the new turns in chapter 35.

They arrived!

Not all, but many books from the required and suggested reading lists for my master's program have arrived.
It’s time to get down to business!

My Goal:

To read every book suggested, mentioned or referred to in passing within my master’s journey.

Why?

When else will I have this excuse to trip over myself reading book after book?

How?

I will prioritize the required reading books and follow them with whatever seems more pressing. I aim to highlight and take notes as I go (which I am apt to do with books I own / study) and input those highlighted quotes/sections into a chart for reference.
When a quote or passage deems itself a lifeline, I will write it down to keep it in a visible space in my office to be reminded of.

If you need me, I’ll be reading.

Gathering Blue | Lois Lowry

Another banger from Lois. Having only read The Giver, this book gives another shade of things. A must-read for anyone who enjoys thinking deeper than just current reality.

Hidden Potential | Adam Grant

Having loved Adam Grant from his Ted Talks and Podcast Re: Thinking, I was sure I would enjoy Hidden Potential. This book provides tips on unlocking one's hidden potential and the science behind what makes a successful person. *Spoiler alert: It’s not what you think. That first chapter, “Creatures of Discomfort,” gave me a great reality check on my understanding of the brain and what we are all capable of if we are open to it.

Ducks | Kate Beaton

Lent to me by my aunt, it took me forever to read it, but I am so glad I did. Kate Beaton gives us such a raw look at what it is like to be a woman working in the oil sands of Alberta. I loved her visuals, her raw honesty, her sense of humour and her grit. This woman has GRIT.

TV/FILMS OF NOTE

Regime S01 - Because this was just a whirlwind & we are still processing it!
Wednesday S01 - Because this series captured the essence and vibes of Wednesday Adam in every single possible wonderful way. (& who best to do it, than Tim Burton?)

Prompts to help guide you towards your most daring, whimsical, enticing, enraptious goals.

What were you like as a child? What interests, hobbies, obsessions, play, ideas, and desires did you have / engage in?

How would those who know you describe you today? What would they say about your Personality, work, LIFESTYLE, AND hobbies?

How would you describe yourself today? What would you say ABOUT YOUR Personality, WORK, hobbies AND YOUR LIFESTYLE?

Of those three different descriptions of you, Circle the ones that feel the most like You.

What would you add to that list of descriptions today if you could?

How do your chosen descriptions for yourself make you feel?

With those descriptions in mind - consider ways you could sink in deeper into those parts of yourself.
e.g. :

Bookworm - Sunday Morning Library Coffee Date with a book for six months.
Freelancer - Schedule a meeting once a month with an Editor / Producer.
Fitness lover - Use weight training videos to go up 5 pounds in weights.
Social - Schedule bi-weekly in-person hangs with friends and colleagues.
etc.

Narrow in on one of these action items and calim it as an ace dare.

begin secretly picking away at your challenge.

*Only play your ace (leave it behind) when you feel you have reached the goal you set for yourself.

For years, I have allowed an inferiority complex to affect my confidence in the craft of playing the piano. After much reflection (I will write on that in upcoming projects), I was able to unearth my very real lack of confidence and belief in my passion for music, the piano, and the art of playing for the joy of it.

In honour of my Baldwin, which I am coming to terms with that needs to be replaced, I have been reflecting on the genuine art and craft of playing piano

Mind

To my second teacher's chagrin, I had mostly skimmed over piano theory as a young child. To her credit, she imparted in me a relentless study of the art of sight reading and although unable to pick up a complex chopin like a professional pianist and play it without hesitation or perfection, I am able to skim play the most simple and complex of pieces for understanding and follow that up to take each bar at a time, each measure, each hand and break it down.
Without this skill, the pieces I play would lack in their quality.

Body

It’s easy to become self-conscious about how you look as you play. When I play at my best, I often find I look ridiculous. To be lost and fully immersed in music is to be free of self, aware only of the notes, the sound, the cadence, and the moment that you are in. For the body as well as the mind, music and playing instruments are a form of meditation, and letting go and letting go of your physical self is half the battle.

Soul

I play not because I am perfect but because I am fed by the playing. There is a room inside al of us that is warm, breezy and free from judgement. This room I find in music, the sound of the ocean and the weightless feeling of a memorized piece of music falling out of my fingertips.
I have always chased the ability to return to this room no matter how many dark hallways life likes to place in my way.