As I work on writing a book of essays that touches on a variety of topics, least of all elements of trauma that still lives within my body I have found reminding myself of these approaches helps.
For more on how this broader nervous system works, Crash Course gives a great layman’s lesson.
Cold Shower
It's not one I enjoy or am particularly good at—and yet, despite my lack of skills, this may be the best regulating method I have found to date. I am no professional at Cold showers or plunges, but when I have tried them, I have noticed the profound effects on my brain function and overall regulation.
*On a small scale, holding ice cubes in one’s hand can help stop an anxiety attack and reorient the body.Walk
A daily walk for fresh air and movement calms the nerves. I like to say, “I never come back from a walk and regret it.” From time to time, I’ll also use my headphones and record myself processing a work or life issue—more often than not, by the time I have come back inside, I feel more regulated and have solved or brainstormed solutions.
Lap around the house
This may seem ridiculous, but when I have been at my desk or sitting in my reading chair writing on something particularlly triggering or difficult to put into words, just getting up and puttering from room to room and putting something to order in each can help calm the buzzing of discomfort just enough for me to sit back down and write another page.
*Movement always helps.Meditation/visualizations
Pop on your headphones and a meditative playlist (no lyrics or simply ocean waves), set a timer, and allow yourself to sink into your body and breath. Often, during this time, I like to ask myself, “Where am I?” and what usually happens is a beautiful spiritual visualization that feeds the soul. Five minutes before writing or starting the day has been a grounding, safe place for me.
A Calming Show
The most prolific and thought-provoking television now tends to be highly deep and at best heavy to process. Finding something that brings one back into their body is a rare and beautiful thing. Examples of these are: Mr.Rogers ’ Neighbourhood, The French Chef, The Great British / Canadian Baking Shows, Best in Miniature, Gilmore Girls, Julia, etc.
A Regulating Playlist
You’ll notice I add playlists to these suggestions because, as I have learned over the years, music and sound are hugely dysregulating or regulating. Using it to your benefit can be helpful. A lot of research has shown that 432 and 528 Hertz sound frequencies have a positive effect on the nervous system. You can find many of these online or on your streaming provider’s playlists.
Water
Simple, understated, but amazing how it wakes one up and freshens the system. Water is proven to help one’s nerves communicate properly, regulate the body and overall brain function. A tall glass of water goes a long way.
Physical touch / cuddling with a safe person.
My first memories of feeling safe were lying close to my mother during naps or other rest times, such as watching films. As an adult, I have found that same self-regulating feeling with only a handful of people. I currently feel this way most often when my daughter is near or my partner. We don’t need to be intertwined. It can simply be the way her pre-teen feet wiggle against my leg as she watches a movie or a show she likes. That physical touch creates a domino effect in my nervous system that cannot be replicated with just anyone.
Warm / Hot bath.
Light some candles, put on a soothing playlist, add Epsom salts or a bath bomb, and allow yourself to be soothed by the warmth surrounding you. It’s hard to feel safe, but for a moment, the water wants to hold you, and you are enough.
The voice of a safe person
Not all of us are privileged enough to live close to or see our safe people often. In lieu of touch and in person, the voice of someone can also help bring us back into a safe place within ourselves. I’d even go so far as to say that when my daughter hums and sings to herself while doing something, I will often lie or sit near her to be soothed by her sounds. I find her a very safe presence to be with and around.
