As 2020 came to a close I began to feel a desire to well up within me.

She was whispering to me from a drawer.

I put on music to drown her out. I tried distracting myself with meetings, with the trappings of Christmas and the approaching new year to ignore her.

I caught myself thinking about the last time we sat across from each other.

Humilation, tears, disappointment and misunderstandings.

A gulf between us.

The louder I tried to turn up my world, the more persistent she has become from her spot in that filing cabinet drawer.

This is the way it is with projects and their creator. They don’t just come easily. They are an investment and sometimes they mean more to you than you’d like to admit.

Like an ex-lover who proved to be someone who couldn’t stick around when times got tough. Who just couldn’t explain themselves honestly and true enough for the world or you to understand them. They disappeared in the fog and stayed there while you floundered trying to fill a void.

It’s a bit like this for me and her.

We needed each other and then when I thought it was our time, she made herself scarce.

So I slipped her into a big fat file folder where she has been sitting and almost busting out of and for some reason she is choosing now to make noise about it.

This year, of 2021 to raise her voice and try to come back to me, in some strange and unknown format.

I am not sure whether I should serve tea when we meet again, or perhaps I should just uncork a wine bottle and pretend to have forgotten the glasses. See how she manages that.

Should I play Kanye West rap or Taylor Swift’s folklore?

Should I wear a revenge dress like Diana or just show up in sweats like Meredith Grey?

You might laugh at this. You might even call me fickle, but the truth is,

she was something. She was my proof that I understood the pulse of the creative world and to meet with her again, to look her in the eyes, means I have to open myself up to possibly see that she isn’t as perfect as I have remembered or that maybe we weren’t supposed to go the distance and that is that.

But there she is, making a fuss about being relegated to a file in a cabinet.

So off I go…

I think I’ll wear my oversized sweater and let my hair down.

What a whirlwind.

Not much time to hone my filming/editing skills but sticking to the monthly summary for the discipline and the slow learning.

I wonder what this Autumn will bring in terms of time and creative moments?

I have a confession to make….

Up until this year I have 90% of the time written & done my work on this website / blog in real time. Meaning: you were seeing it right after I typed it up, slapped on an image, and pressed ‘publish’.

I think one of the reasons I have done this for so long, is that in the past I have had a specific writing style that I shared online that this thrived with. It was the times I was the ‘least planned’ and the most ‘unedited’ that it received the most impact and appreciation. I thought that in order for me to remain impactful I needed to remain ‘unplanned’.

& to a certain extent this remains true.

I still continue to have the most meaningful written and in person interactions when the words flow without much forethought. I write my speeches that way, my letters and cards that way …etc.

& yet, as life has evolved I need to learn the art of ‘batch work’ to give room for other things in my life.

Thus far I have been able to deduce this means:

Blog Writing

Setting aside half a day monthly to pre write the next months posts.

Interviewing

Interviewing at least 3 people a session rather than one at a time.

This will hopefully provide me with more time to play in my creative writing projects that aren’t seen here…and allow me some much needed breathing room in my personal / professional life.

*this post is vastly inspired by Jenna Kutcher’s Goal Digger podcast various ‘kicks in the butt’ regarding all things ‘batch work’.

Entering into 2019…

with more to balance and maintain has enforced the need for scheduling and I am working on embracing it in a more effective and succinct way.

What I am Using:

Moleskin Plain Pocket Size

I use these Moleskins to keep track of various aspects of my personal & professional life.
- Movement & Diet
- Inspirations (quotes, ideas etc)
- Seasons (Winter activities, recipes, etc)
- Work Log
- Home Maintenance & visions

Kate Spade Journal

There is a shortage of these journals as Kate Spade is releasing less of them yearly, but I make a point of buying them when I find them & I use a journal for each year for my personal notations / writing about life and thoughts.

Leuchtturmn1917 (A5)

I use Leuchtturmn journals for my yearly bullet journaling. I do not follow the ‘bujo’ method to a ‘t’ but I apply what works for my own methodology and it seems thats what Ryder Carroll was aiming for.

Fossil Watch

New to me this year, for less attachment to my iPhone when checking the time. Doesn’t hurt that I am addicted to metallic tone fashion statements.

Sharpie & Midliner Pens

Knowing that these are the pens I use simplifies the tools I reach for. Decision fatigue regarding finding a new pen: ‘be gone’.

WHAT I AM AIMING FOR & WHY:

Reducing my scheduling hours and methods is one of my main goals this year. As great as it can be to have time to sit down and schedule the week ahead it can severely stir up anxiety when given too much space to be dwelled on. It also can swallow up much needed rest and quality time with others.

I am giving myself a year to work on the craft of scheduling because I realize it’s a task that I am going to have to unlearn bad habits, try new methods & simplify again & again.

As I hone the craft of scheduling I am keeping these words close to me as a reminder:

Create. Cultivate. Curate. Centred.

Here we go…

Learning the craft of writing for film & television is a journey.
I still am in the process of attending workshops, studying up, and surrounding myself with like minded people. 

Let's be honest.  

I am doing all of this while being the primary caregiver of a three year old.  It's not as if this journey is going to be completed in a season or two.  

What I am learning so much of right now, is that giving myself grace and space to learn, grow and be inspired is of the upmost importance.  

Grace to not have it all figured out, and the space to take as much time as I need to get there. 

What I have accomplished so far :

- Written and continuing to work on various drafts of the pilot and series pitch of a television series that I alone created.  I have done this with the previous and continual help of various women who are also excited by the concept. (That in itself is amazing!!!!) 

- Written a short film that accurately displays the type of female characters that I am known for writing.  That displays my love of womanhood, friendship and humour. 

I think at this point, to get this far has been a considerable feat and I shouldn't downplay it no matter how I may feel when I look around at the various women slaying their hustle.

 I too, have been doing amazing things.

Here is to the continuation and development of much more!

Something clicked just over a month ago.  

I can and should have multiple different projects on the go in various stages of development at all times. 

This has been true for me at different times in my work, but never intentional.

It hit me while sitting and listening to women in the storytelling industry.

It is normal and in fact, part of the creative industry to be multitasking with various projects.

You see, that is not in my nature.  I am a multi-tasker in my day sure, but not in how I live my overall life.  If I want to do anything, I am guns blazing from start to finish.  I want to start at the beginning and get to the end, as fast as I possibly can.  

That is not how it works in the theatre, film and television industry.  

It takes Months.  Seasons.  YEARS even.

This realization is blowing my mind and still a challenge to comprehend.

At this point, all I can truly say, is that I am learning how to be more comfortable and capable with balancing this reality.  Having four projects this season seems daunting and overwhelming and yet, it also seems absolutely possible and motivating. 

As my awareness and understanding of how this works develops for me I will definitely be documenting and sharing my process and learning.  

Until then,

With various projects I go....

Thank-God for Spring!  Everything comes up new.

And that is exactly how it feels professionally for me right now.

Attending Women Making Waves 2018 was a reminder that my courage and ambition are rightly placed and well timed.  That my projects have merit and my stories have a voice.

Since that conference I have embraced what it looks like to be a professional writer in the performance industries.  It means a lot of hard and well though out solo work.  A lot of applications, a lot of socializing and finding those whom click with your own work ethic and values.  

It means patience, perseverance, and a lot of play time.

This Spring:

I anticipate announcing a few new and exciting projects.

Introducing new and inspiring women via Spotlight posts.

Continuing to share my learned experiencing in life and work.

"My mission in life is not merely to survive but to thrive, and to do so some passion, some compassion, some humour and some style." - Maya Angelou

It's no secret I spend many a week night at my desk. I have forever been an 'early morning' or 'evening' creative.  My thoughts are clearest after a workout or when the sun begins to set.  It's the way I have always been.  Naturally, as a writer, I capitalize on knowing this about myself.  

Five years ago I began what I call "Write Nights".  It started when I wrote my first play.  "The Chronicles of the Dramatics Society".  I knew I wanted to pursue the project and so I chose a few nights a week (At that specific time, I would go to 'Obladee' downtown) and write all evening.  That process was magical to me and really helped me understand the process of writing which worked best for me.  

My next project didn't get past the editing stage, but I began to enforce these "Write Nights" with any project onward that I would work on.  

Write Nights can start as early as 5pm but no later than 7:30pm and always end no earlier than 10pm.  If I am truly on a roll it edges close to 11pm.  But so often I find that even if I am on a roll I want to end on a high note and feel that creative surge in my veins when I leave the desk.  

They also always must consist of a beverage even if only water, but I adore it when wine or coffee is a possibility.  I light my 'writing candle' during the times I write and use a string of battery operated string lights from time to time.  

The sound track is essential.  Generally, the music I play must be in theme of my projects.  Currently that would mean a '1920s-1940s' Jazz playlist or a 'femme fatale' playlist.

Write Nights are my version of creative bliss and I however one finds their creative bliss / time, always elaborate on it and make it as alluring for your spirit as possible.  
 

Character Development is what motivates me in my writing, reading and watching of film and television.

I am sure it has driven my close people a bit nuts to listen to me poke holes in plots as I watch/read them, and even more so when I see a character that doesn't hold up.

People are complex and layered.  Showing that through the written and performance mediums is easier said then done and I will be the first to say that the art form of character development is a craft I am still learning.

Over the past few months I have been working alongside Kirstin Howell to develop strong female characters for a television series.  I am consistently challenged by her edits to develop these women to be multi-dimentional.  

As a society we like stereotypes because they are easier to understand and quick to put together.  Thats the problem, people are not easy to understand and there are layers upon layers of life that create a person to be who they are and to do the things they do.  No one is just one stereotype.  We may be born to have certain personality traits and certain ways of doing life, but that doesn't mean we can't divert from that.  In fact, more often than not, we do.  

Through this process I am learning to challenge what I think of my characters and admit that as a writer I don't know everything that informs their decision yet and I may never will.  Writers are not God, they are conduits for a story that the characters speak from.  I think anyone who has written for the integrity of the story realizes that they are there to serve the characters and their story.  
 

The writer serves the characters, the characters don't serve the writer. 

The fun part of my work is that this all applies to real life.  I can only assume that I will never know the whole of a person, but I can be present with them and with myself.  I can allow myself to believe that we are more complex than an 'assumption'.  Life isn't as simple as a statement or a stereotype.  Life goes deep and we'd better be ready to get dirty in the process.  

Strong Characters I Adore:
 

Jane Eyre - Jane Eyre by Charlotte Brontë
Christina Yang - Greys Anatomy by Shonda Rhymes
Aibileen Clark - The Help by Kathryn Stockett
Phillip Jennings - The Americans by Joe Weisberg
Sansa Stark - Game of Thrones by George R.R. Martin

Being in the throws of writing drafts of work can be dull, dreary and completely draining. 

Truthfully, I don't have time for dull, dreary or draining anymore so I knew that somehow I had to find some gold in the draft making process.  

Here is the Gold I have found thus far:

A collaborator who wants to come alongside the work, share in the creative process and challenge the work to become what it needs to be.

I should have realized this years ago, but it is always a tad scary to share an idea / concept you are beginning to work on for fear the sparkle will be shot down.  Any creative person knows that an inspiration can be completely dissamated within it's infancy purely out of lack of protection from the wrong influences.  The right influence however, can truly bloom the work and become a collaborative process that drives you and the work forward.

An absolute planned and allotted 'I-mean-buisness-and-this-is-happening-now' session for writing/editing.  

I often find, that logistical edits are best made in the morning with coffee, creative edits/changes/nueances are made best in the evening with candle and wine, while scrolling through edits and notes are best made whenever the time presents itself and however you are wherever you are.

Setting the tone and wooing myself to the work.  

Lighting a candle, pouring a beverage, playing music that fits the tone of the work, dressing to mean business, tidying the work space...all of it, brings an air of mystery into the process.  A 'who knows what will happen here, but it is going to be epic' atmosphere.

When I step away, step away.  

Truly enjoy the break of thinking when the work is not in front of me.  Do other things amidst it all and allow the time of meeting the work to be like meeting with a lover after a long day.