Change is inevitable yet at times it can throw us off guard.  Even when change is good how do we deal with it?

This is how I do change:

1) Identify initial reaction and embrace it.  

Knowing how I feel about something is empowering and imperative for me to work through what 'it' all means.  Wether I need to yell, cry or take my own 'time out', I do it.   Often times when change happens we can react our own fears and confusion of emotions on others.  I try my best to react in a safe and appropriate environment.

2) Grieve the loss/change.  

When things change on me, it often means there was something else I thought would happen.  We can't ignore that part of ourselves, but we can't let it rule us either.  Take a moment to feel those emotions, light a candle, blow it out and move on.

3) Make a game plan.

Nothing makes me feel out of control than not having a plan.  Plans can alter and change, but ultimately I thrive by putting a plan for the change in place as soon as possible.  Wether it's making a daily schedule, or a few fun goals, I thrive by challenging myself with new ideas, goals, routines etc.

4) Celebrate!  

Change is always good if we embrace it fully.  Just because something isn't as you thought it would be doesn't mean that our original expectations are better than the reality.  Reality is what you make it.  If something is different than I thought, I make use of the different.

5) Declare it!  

When something changes and I am walking in the change, I have learned that shouting it from the rooftops is an amazing way for me to walk in positivity and enthusiasm. 

Spiritual Wellness

Our souls need time.

They need space.

They need focus.

We can't juggle the endless balls forever.  At some point a ball will be in mid-flight and will be dropped.  It's not at fault of the performer, but a mere human thing.  We weren't made to be jugglers for more than a short period of time.

We need to sleep.

To eat.

To drive.

To...exist.

Simply put, we need be able to focus on one thing at one time.

Are there things we do in our day to day that enforce a juggling that stresses us out more than calms us?  Is there a juggling vortex that we find ourself falling into?

Let's begin to focus solidly on what we do.

One thing, at one time.

Emotional Wellness

The thing that blew us out of the water was not the wee baby we brought into the world this May, but the everything else.

The tiny wee one we love so much just made life brighter ... yet somehow life got clouded.  Clouded by all the work, decisions, expectations and misunderstandings.

We started watching the days we thought would be family bliss become days of rushing from this to that.

No time.

No breathing room.

Barely able to meet up for groceries.

And in all that rush, all that work there is a band that can only stretch so far before it snaps.

Where is that snap?

Is it in the necessary moments of groceries, gas and budgeting?  Or the extra moments of birthdays, parties and visits?

Either way we need to breath.  We need to let life flow through us so we can continue walking, moving and dancing.  

Identifying our limitations are key to being able to breath free, breath proper and breath with purpose.

What are your limitations?  What is stopping you from breathing?

Financial/Physical Wellness

Tracking.  We are always tracking.  Our social media accounts track our posts, our work tracks our performance and our cars track their milage.

Tracking is a way we keep tabs on what we need to know. 

And what is it that we so easily loose track of?

Spending.  The dollars in our pockets.

Diet.  The food on our plates.

Keeping track of our finances is a great way to begin to respect the money that has blessed and is filtering through us.  We need to and should be good stewards of the funds we find ourselves with.  So often it can be easy to let it slip through our fingers without a second thought.

So many pro tips on staying healthy attest to a food log and or calorie counter giving insight to a diet.  We go through out our days fuelling our bodies but rarely taking the moment to truly consider everything and the 'weight' of what it is we are putting inside it.

What happens when we take the time to record our spending?  What happens when we write down everything we are eating?

Insight, awareness and empowerment.

Tracking what we so easily can loose control of empowers us to make decisions based off of knowledge instead of ignorance.

What do you need to start tracking?  Is there something in your life that is out of control?  

I love my smart phone.  It is one of the main things on my person at all times.  That being said, I am learning daily how to better balance my interaction with media, others and the outside world. I routinely turn airplane mode on my iPhone 6 when I am with my daughter, on a date, at home on the weekends and connecting to nature.  

Why?

1)  To be present in the moment with others, what I am doing and the world around me.  

We have gotten used to experiencing the world and others with a screen in front of us.  When we connect with the things around us we should be giving it our undivided attention.  How much do we truly miss when we are checking our likes, retweets, news feeds etc?  Being present with our friends, family, work and hobbies is irreplaceable.

2) To model to our children how to best use technology.  

Our children are now growing up with a different culture around them.  Screens are more than just 'entertainment' they have become everyday 'necessities' for many.  Keeping our screen usage in check will not only be healthy for ourselves as adults but will be a model to our children that playstations, TV's, iPads, iPhones, etc are a part of our lives but not our whole life. 

3) To take a break from demands.  

Having a smart phone with all it's notifications can be the equivalent of having a door bell rung in our homes every few minutes.  It is intrusive to our private lives and very easily becomes a source of pressure when we feel incapable to keep up with the 'most recent'.  

4) To use our technology as a tool.

When we put our phones on airplane mode we are enforcing the concept that the 24/7 feature of the device is not required.  We can use our phones as a tool to the life we want to lead instead of being lead by our phones.  

5) To force a break and focus on other things.

It's easy to get caught up in Facebook, Buzzfeed and other mind numbing apps that encourage us to decompress, but there are other ways our bodies, minds and souls need to decompress.  A walk outdoors, a conversation with a close friend, a drive to the ocean, playing an instrument, gardening, cooking, reading a book are all things that one can do to take a break from lifes' stresses and reconnect with other parts of ourselves.  

Emotional Wellness

It's so easy to get stuck.

Stuck in the place we are at, the thinking we carry and the lens we see through.

It's very ... limited.  To be a one-way-road thinker.

We do this.

'This is just the way I am'.

'This is just how I see things.'

We don't realize how jarring this is.  At least I didn't until that college professor of mine years back would catch me on it.  She would look at me frustrated.

"Amy, you have to get past explaining why you are doing these things, and start to own them."

But wasn't I owning them by explaining why?  

She would say in our communication classes:  "If you are finding yourself getting critical, you need to get curious."

And I would blah blah past it.  Thinking 'of course' but not really dwelling on what it meant.

But we grow.  We find we are capable of self reflection and overcoming personal barriers with the Grace we've been given.

It's time to get over being 'stuck'.  Stuck in our emotions, our ways of thinking, our personalities, our 'this-is-just-how-I-do-it' life.  We were made for more than our stumbling blocks.

What are your stumbling blocks?  What is so much 'you' that you end up explaining it away?  What can you work through daily to pull out the roots of these limitations?

We have not done a summer meet-up before, but now we have, and it was exactly what 'The Creatives' needed.

Everyone has been shaken up and around and somehow we are all landing in new places with new visions and aspirations.

All of it, a good thing.

The core of 'The Creatives' are moving on in many different ways.  They are growing, moulding, making and meditating on everything new.

Montreal 

Denmark

British Columbia

Asia?

...

Everyone has a timeline and a place they belong.

For the core, there have been changes and for the new there will be growth and more changes.

Connecting with the old and the new has created a new development of growth and change.

Autumn is bringing us to a new and different place.

For all the development and changes we give thanks.

May Autumn see us, shiny bright and new in ways we have ever imagined.  

Spiritual Wellness

I stare up at my new home.  The ocean across the street and the breeze lifts the sails of a boat across the way.  The seagulls cry and remind me that this was the home of my family.  My roots are here and I was made for 'here'.

I see the doors of the homes that line this street, some old and some new.  I laugh.

Everything in life that is meant to be is so 'unhinged'. 

I remember standing on a dock only months ago praying and asking for that abundance.  Not for the bigness, but for the smallness that my heart wanted to share.

Let me share the ocean and let me share the ocean air with my daughter and others.  "Is that too much to ask?"  I had prayed.

We walk in a world that likes to tell us no.  It's as simple as that.  

What we think is a world of 'we can be anything' is actually a world of nos.  

It's not a pessimistic take, it's just the way this universe turns.  

But it's upside down, so those no's are yes's and the yes's we receive may actually be no's. 

How topsy turvy.  How can we trust in anything bigger than us to guide us to the right place?

Have you come against a door that seems shut tight and won't budge?

We all have windows and doors.  What are they saying?

Are we trying to wedge them open when in fact they want to stay closed to protect us?  Are we passing open windows and doors without even knowing it?

This street that I am moving to...it's a street I spent my whole life on.  Yet I thought it wasn't for me.  And here we are walking to the ocean with our daughter in tow just as I used to run the street as a girl.  

Sometimes it's the doors we don't see that are unhinged and ready for us to walk through the door frames. 

Look for your unhinged doors.  They are all over the place.  

Social Wellness 

It was this image on a TV show that we saw.  An image of a family gathered around a table and the dynamics that occurred when they did.  Everyone so different yet there was a unity that survived around that table.

They had gathered.

Many of us long for this type of ease.  But is it ease?  How do we balance the high demands of real life with the desire to stay connected and respectful of each other?

Getting an extended family gathered routinely creates an opportunity for unity and understanding.

What keeps us from gathered?

Expectations, technology, schedule conflicts .... a myriad of life.  

How can we connect in an 'organic' way with our close and extended family?  Can it be a routine added or a sporadic moment?  A moment to unplug from our screens and share in an activity?  Or simply a weekly walk?

Whatever works for your family dynamic, gathering takes initiative and is a journey into wellness with each other.

Get creative.

What works for your family? 

Our little family made some changes right before Zoë was born.  We looked at our fridge and our finances and decided that it was time we focused on 'the fresh'.  Don't get us wrong, we had always focused on a certain element of healthy eating, but this was different.  This was a commitment to learning about fresh food and our body chemistry in tandem.  

Knowledge, as they say, is power.

1) Fresh fruits and vegetables is natures natural way to support your immune, digestive system and overall body chemistry.  

There is a deep science to how our bodies take in the food we eat.  Wether we eat (chemically) processed or unprocessed foods our body will reap the benefits/negatives. The boost received from fresh food encourages health and weight loss. 

2) Supporting local farms is one of the best gifts you can give to your community/citys' economy.  

Farmers and other crop growers are in constant competition with imported goods.  Buying what is fresh and in season in your area will not only be good for your lifestyle, but will benefit the community as a whole.

3) Eating fresh means buying in season.  

Even if not all the in season fruits and vegetables are our favourite, it really forces us to find creative ways to prepare, eat and enjoy those foods.

4) Consuming fresh fruits and vegetables encourages a lifestyle of 'full nutritious calories'. 

Fruits and Vegetables are high in calories but in all the right ways.  Eating fresh helps us avoid the 'empty calories' that other foods would provide.

5) It's pretty.  

Let's be honest.  For all those instagrammers, there is nothing more stunning than photos of fresh food.  Who knows exactly why, but eating fresh sure makes documenting mealtime more enjoyable!  ;)

Emotional & Spiritual Wellness

Sometimes it feels like we are in the quiet. The no nothing movement of life.  Everyone is rushing by us.  Swimming upstream and gaining momentum, and we, are stuck in a pool where everything is still and unmoving.  

But is it?

That is where the growing begins.  Tadpoles and baby fish are born here.  They start their lives in the quiet of the water.

And somehow, in some miraculous move of life, they are shoved back out into the rushing torrent of a stream.

This is what a friend relayed to me and this is how life can be.

Pools are the unmoving of soon to be miracles.

We love the rush and thriving of a busy thrumming exciting life.

It will come.

It will go.

There will always be pools.

And rapids. 

Emotional Wellness

It's a practice that is harder than it seems.

I sit with a best friend and every now and then we lift our phones to our faces and check on the neediness of the outside world.

We've talked about this before.  Neither of us are trying to be rude or even think much of when the other lifts a screen to a face, but, there is a difference.

We have worked harder to be more present and that is probably why there are rarely any instagram pictures of us doing life side by side in our different but bestie ways.  We don't pick up our phones the way we used to,.

And I practice when I am with my daughter to slide that airplane mode on my phone so that when I record how long she has fed, or take pictures of her I am not getting bombarded with messages at the same time.  

Trying to be present.

Being present means we embrace the airplane mode, we slow down and we look another in the eyes.

It's a work in progress.

How are you at being present?  Does your smart phone become a filler when you have nothing else to add.  Are you using a screen as a crutch?  How much more would you enjoy or not enjoy life by being more present in your dailys?

Nursing on the Halifax Waterfront

DISCLAIMER:  I never want to assume that what I have expierenced would be helpful or needed by another new mama.  I know all too well, that becoming a new mom is a journey that is uniquely yours and how you want to journey it, is precious and sacred.  May this never be read as a "For All" but for "those who ask and need it."

This is my list:

1) Positive or negative, this is your journey.  

However you look at pregnancy, birth, motherhood, the choice is yours.  You can embrace the changes or gripe about them.  Surround yourself with those who want to journey alongside you in the way that feeds your spirit. 

2) People say the worst things, find a vent buddy.  

Humans say things.  Be it 'how big you look', how 'you must be carrying a boy', 'enjoy your life now, you'll never get it back', or the constant questions on 'how you are going to decorate the nursery'... if I didn't have a few friends to vent to I would have gone bonkers.  

3) Find What Feels Good (@yogawithadriene reference) How you want to labour is your decision.  

Tub, squatting, standing...don't let anyone convince you of anything other than what is natural to you in that moment.  You are the expert on you and your baby, trust in the process.  

4) Embrace the poop, blood, and gunk.  

Birthing is a messy and stunning process.  Being able to laugh and not feel ashamed of your labour and body is an amazing thing.  

5) Own your unique birth story.  

Birthing is a process we should prepare for physically, mentally spiritually and emotionally, yet YOUR story is an unpredictable one.  However your wee one enters this world, it's the story that you both share.  Let it empower you.   

6) Embrace skin to skin with your newborn.  

Even though I was prepared to want to do skin to skin with my daughter I had no idea how amazing it was.  It works wonders for your emotions, processing and to the understanding of the new role as mama to your baby.

7) Bring your own food to the hospital.

My husband and I did a lot of research of what food my body would need after birthing our daughter.  We are so thankful we had done this. Even though the hospital food was 'okay', having my own oatmeal, prunes, protein shakes, electrolyte drinks, fruit bars, etc,  gave me the boosts I needed during those first three days.  

8) The hospital is not a relaxing place.  Limit visitors. 

By the time you have birthed your baby you have probably been awake for more than twenty-four hours.  If you had a natural labour with no drugs, you probably will be on an adrenaline high. All of which is normal, natural and is the hormones your body needs to bond with your new bundle.  If you have torn during delivery, you will probably be in the birthing room for an extra hour after the placenta is delivered.  By the time you get to your room (HIGHLY RECOMMEND PRIVATE) it will be much later.  Paper work and processing take time.  Depending on how progressive the hospital is, they will discourage vistors and encourage you to bond and rest with your baby as much as you can.  I didn't realize how important quiet time was until after that first day.  A new mama doesn't just have to adjust with the needs of her new baby, but she is also dealing with the (WARNING TMI --------> ) lochia a.k.a. postnatal bleeding, hormone dips, exhaustion, soreness, stitches, nutrition intake, bowel movements, peeing, showering, nurses checking on mom and baby every 15 minutes to an hour, blood tests and maybe even more.   The last thing a new mama needs, no matter how picture worthy, the first few days of a baby's life are, is to have 'people' around while she figures out recovery and her new baby.   

9) Never feel guilty for saying no.  

Making decisions based off of your needs for health and wellness is a priority.  Saying no to attending events, a certain energy in a conversation, things for you or baby, visitors, or any expectation are decisions that only you can make.  Feel confident in standing up for yourself.   

And lastly....

10) Don't apologize for putting yourself first.  

Putting yourself first, especially during the last month and the first two months post partum helps to not only recover faster, but in a way that is balanced.  Your health and wellness is more important than satisfying visitors and those that want to 'be' with your baby.  You need to be at your top so you can be bonded and give your baby the round the clock care no one else will be able to give.  ORDER OF IMPORTANCE:  Mama first, baby second, partner third and everyone else last.