A new location by the water.

Connected and reconnected.

We began the night by gathering in the kitchen and sharing in introductions, catching up and getting comfortable.  It's the way of gatherings.  First, you gather.  Then you can go deep.

"Why do we hermit?  Good or bad?"  I asked.  The night unfolded.

We've been hermits in our work or from the outside world for various reasons.  No matter the reasons, we often fall into prolonged hermitting due to the fear we have allowed in our lives.

The labels we have allowed and are working to scrub off.  We are actively choosing to be who we believe we are.  Who we were called to be.  And yet we walk everyday in atmospheres, clothes and maybe even relationships that feel old and stuffy.  

Questions swirl:

Where are my real friends?

What is my real job?

What is my 'thing' right now?

Does it matter?

???

In a way, yes, it matters very much.

In another way.  It doesn't.

Who we are in this moment, today, is what matters.

As one smart woman put it: "Confidence: if you are something, you just are.  This is what I am."

Taking the time and space to begin to connect with our spirits and hearts to find out who it is we feel called to be will create that confidence.  It's an inner knowing that surpasses any judgement, label or preconceived notion of who we are.

Creativity is all around us, and we want to go to the next level.

Join the Creatives in October to level up with us!

Intellectual Wellness

Sometimes the well is dry.  There is a drought and we are thirsty.  

Thirsty for a new move.  Thirsty for more than just a new episode of jeopardy to keep us lively.  A new episode of anything is the least of what we should be living for.

And yet.  Our land is dry.  We are the dry land.  Listless, bored and tired of seeing pictures of someone elses' life that we think we want.

We THINK we want.  Really...we want our life.

A life we have been given for a purpose.  A life full of what we were made for.

Let's dig into the earth around us and open our eyes to what can inspire us to dance again.  There is a reason why we are surrounded by these things, those people and live in that place.  Dig into it.  Maybe you'll be inspired to let your roots grow deep where you stand.  And maybe you'll be inspired to pick up your leaves and walk.  Either way....dig deep.

Go past the bottom of the well and into the damp rich soil around you.  It was put there for you.

Be inspired and let it spring you forth out of the chair and into living a life that was made for you.

What atmosphere can you sink into that will inspire you?  Where are you dry?  What excites you?  What habit have you let into your life that distracts you from being inspired with living?

Emotional / Relational Wellness

When life goes awry what do we reach for?

I was thrown into the thick of things the last few months.

Sometimes we need space.  Sometimes we need help.  And all of the time, we need a good dose of positivity.  

Surrounding ourselves with that and those who feed into a positive life is essential to maintaining balance during a turbulent time. 

On our own, we are enough negativity.   We hold all the worry, negative thought process, guilt and shame.  It's time for us to open our eyes and seek out that and those around us who will feed into us positively.  

Empathy and a listening ear are priceless, but our need to rehash and retell the negative to hear it is a selfish act.

We are caught in a vortex that speaks death over our lives and it feels good.  A catharses for our 'pride'.   "Look at me, see me, notice little me." 

We are called to be more.

We are called to : Speak real.  Speak truth.  Speak out of the pit.  

May we be that for those around us, and have the discernment to know when we should be reaching for the light in the dark.

Positivity doesn't mean ignoring the brokenness, it means hearing the broken and feeding into the life.

Where can we act in positive ways this week?  Who has spoken life into our lives?   

Speak out of the dark and into the light. 

Spiritual Wellness

Stale.  Bored.  Listless.  Apathetic.  

Day in.  Day out.

Is this what life should be?

When life becomes stale, we have compromised with our spirits.

We have said 

"This is just the way it is."

Life can pass us a mind numbing drug.  Be it a job to make ends meet, a relationship that keeps us from being alone, a new item to sit on our shelf.  Another episode of a TV show to entertain our emptiness.

I am saying no.

No to the emptiness and the apathy that we settle for. 

Say no to any action that takes us away from living a passion filled life.

What habits, routines, lifestyle choices keep you away from your passions?  What lies have you let yourself believe about life?

Stand up, wake up and shake it off.  

Live! 

We arrived into Barkton place with very little insight into what 'real life' was.  

I acted rashly in my new freedom of choice.

He stayed secluded.

We both...struggled.

Struggled in our early twenties to find some sort of balance in a life we had no idea about.

And there was one desperate prayer we made.  One desperate plea to a God we could barely believe existed after such trauma and degradation of our spirits

"Make this a place of life.  A place of thriving spirits.  Make us understand each other and bring healing here."

And over the months that two bedroom, one and a half bathroom apartment became a hub.

Our couches became worn with the bodies that stayed over night for comfort.  Our kitchen was filled with food, drink and conversation.  Our walls leaked music and dance.  

Dance partner came for practice, friends came for creative conversation, cousins came to stay overnight, words of affirmation and encouragement overflowed and our door '305' became a number referenced in conversations.  

Barkton Place blossomed into a haven and a safety net for our friends.  For us.

We grew.  We learned.  We were blessed.

Blessings overturning into blessings.

And now that Barkton Place has been left behind we embark on a new journey of setting up a new home.

"What kind of couple are we?" I asked the one girl who saw us through all of these changes.

"I don't need to answer this for you.  You already know." She responded.

"No I don't."  But really, I did.  My spirit knew, but I wanted to hear it aloud.

"You are makers...you are ... you both embody what home is.  You are East Coast Lifestylers."

And that is what we have become.  Jeremy and I.

We have been enriched by our home.  Our roots.  We are enriched by those who have passed through our doors.

May our new home off the shores of Halifax be as open as Barkton Place became.  May our daughter be blessed by the musicians, the food and the freedom that we have found in passing grace as easily as we pass the bread and the wine.  May we allow this new home to be transformed into a new chapter of abundance, discovery and discovery.  

Social/Relational Wellness

There begins a knot somewhere in our throat, or a deep indignation that wells up from the pit of us.  

What has happened?  Why are we failing these people? Why are these people failing us?

Expectation is a social/relational wellness pitfall.  It makes us think we know everything.  It makes us think we are in control of our surroundings and our relational interactions.

When we find ourselves feeling suppressed in our relational interactions it could very well be that we have not released ourselves or others from our expectations.

The expectations we have for ourselves.

The expectations we have for others.

They suffocate. 

Who do you need to release?  What can you release yourself from?  

Enjoy the freedom releasing gives.  

Change is inevitable yet at times it can throw us off guard.  Even when change is good how do we deal with it?

This is how I do change:

1) Identify initial reaction and embrace it.  

Knowing how I feel about something is empowering and imperative for me to work through what 'it' all means.  Wether I need to yell, cry or take my own 'time out', I do it.   Often times when change happens we can react our own fears and confusion of emotions on others.  I try my best to react in a safe and appropriate environment.

2) Grieve the loss/change.  

When things change on me, it often means there was something else I thought would happen.  We can't ignore that part of ourselves, but we can't let it rule us either.  Take a moment to feel those emotions, light a candle, blow it out and move on.

3) Make a game plan.

Nothing makes me feel out of control than not having a plan.  Plans can alter and change, but ultimately I thrive by putting a plan for the change in place as soon as possible.  Wether it's making a daily schedule, or a few fun goals, I thrive by challenging myself with new ideas, goals, routines etc.

4) Celebrate!  

Change is always good if we embrace it fully.  Just because something isn't as you thought it would be doesn't mean that our original expectations are better than the reality.  Reality is what you make it.  If something is different than I thought, I make use of the different.

5) Declare it!  

When something changes and I am walking in the change, I have learned that shouting it from the rooftops is an amazing way for me to walk in positivity and enthusiasm. 

Spiritual Wellness

Our souls need time.

They need space.

They need focus.

We can't juggle the endless balls forever.  At some point a ball will be in mid-flight and will be dropped.  It's not at fault of the performer, but a mere human thing.  We weren't made to be jugglers for more than a short period of time.

We need to sleep.

To eat.

To drive.

To...exist.

Simply put, we need be able to focus on one thing at one time.

Are there things we do in our day to day that enforce a juggling that stresses us out more than calms us?  Is there a juggling vortex that we find ourself falling into?

Let's begin to focus solidly on what we do.

One thing, at one time.

Emotional Wellness

The thing that blew us out of the water was not the wee baby we brought into the world this May, but the everything else.

The tiny wee one we love so much just made life brighter ... yet somehow life got clouded.  Clouded by all the work, decisions, expectations and misunderstandings.

We started watching the days we thought would be family bliss become days of rushing from this to that.

No time.

No breathing room.

Barely able to meet up for groceries.

And in all that rush, all that work there is a band that can only stretch so far before it snaps.

Where is that snap?

Is it in the necessary moments of groceries, gas and budgeting?  Or the extra moments of birthdays, parties and visits?

Either way we need to breath.  We need to let life flow through us so we can continue walking, moving and dancing.  

Identifying our limitations are key to being able to breath free, breath proper and breath with purpose.

What are your limitations?  What is stopping you from breathing?

Financial/Physical Wellness

Tracking.  We are always tracking.  Our social media accounts track our posts, our work tracks our performance and our cars track their milage.

Tracking is a way we keep tabs on what we need to know. 

And what is it that we so easily loose track of?

Spending.  The dollars in our pockets.

Diet.  The food on our plates.

Keeping track of our finances is a great way to begin to respect the money that has blessed and is filtering through us.  We need to and should be good stewards of the funds we find ourselves with.  So often it can be easy to let it slip through our fingers without a second thought.

So many pro tips on staying healthy attest to a food log and or calorie counter giving insight to a diet.  We go through out our days fuelling our bodies but rarely taking the moment to truly consider everything and the 'weight' of what it is we are putting inside it.

What happens when we take the time to record our spending?  What happens when we write down everything we are eating?

Insight, awareness and empowerment.

Tracking what we so easily can loose control of empowers us to make decisions based off of knowledge instead of ignorance.

What do you need to start tracking?  Is there something in your life that is out of control?  

I love my smart phone.  It is one of the main things on my person at all times.  That being said, I am learning daily how to better balance my interaction with media, others and the outside world. I routinely turn airplane mode on my iPhone 6 when I am with my daughter, on a date, at home on the weekends and connecting to nature.  

Why?

1)  To be present in the moment with others, what I am doing and the world around me.  

We have gotten used to experiencing the world and others with a screen in front of us.  When we connect with the things around us we should be giving it our undivided attention.  How much do we truly miss when we are checking our likes, retweets, news feeds etc?  Being present with our friends, family, work and hobbies is irreplaceable.

2) To model to our children how to best use technology.  

Our children are now growing up with a different culture around them.  Screens are more than just 'entertainment' they have become everyday 'necessities' for many.  Keeping our screen usage in check will not only be healthy for ourselves as adults but will be a model to our children that playstations, TV's, iPads, iPhones, etc are a part of our lives but not our whole life. 

3) To take a break from demands.  

Having a smart phone with all it's notifications can be the equivalent of having a door bell rung in our homes every few minutes.  It is intrusive to our private lives and very easily becomes a source of pressure when we feel incapable to keep up with the 'most recent'.  

4) To use our technology as a tool.

When we put our phones on airplane mode we are enforcing the concept that the 24/7 feature of the device is not required.  We can use our phones as a tool to the life we want to lead instead of being lead by our phones.  

5) To force a break and focus on other things.

It's easy to get caught up in Facebook, Buzzfeed and other mind numbing apps that encourage us to decompress, but there are other ways our bodies, minds and souls need to decompress.  A walk outdoors, a conversation with a close friend, a drive to the ocean, playing an instrument, gardening, cooking, reading a book are all things that one can do to take a break from lifes' stresses and reconnect with other parts of ourselves.  

Emotional Wellness

It's so easy to get stuck.

Stuck in the place we are at, the thinking we carry and the lens we see through.

It's very ... limited.  To be a one-way-road thinker.

We do this.

'This is just the way I am'.

'This is just how I see things.'

We don't realize how jarring this is.  At least I didn't until that college professor of mine years back would catch me on it.  She would look at me frustrated.

"Amy, you have to get past explaining why you are doing these things, and start to own them."

But wasn't I owning them by explaining why?  

She would say in our communication classes:  "If you are finding yourself getting critical, you need to get curious."

And I would blah blah past it.  Thinking 'of course' but not really dwelling on what it meant.

But we grow.  We find we are capable of self reflection and overcoming personal barriers with the Grace we've been given.

It's time to get over being 'stuck'.  Stuck in our emotions, our ways of thinking, our personalities, our 'this-is-just-how-I-do-it' life.  We were made for more than our stumbling blocks.

What are your stumbling blocks?  What is so much 'you' that you end up explaining it away?  What can you work through daily to pull out the roots of these limitations?