Finding myself in the role of docu journalism was not something I would have articulated a handful of years ago for myself.

And yet,

not surprising.

As a sign language interpreter, I was trained to know a little about a lot. Always factor in prep work for an assignment and always arrive early and prepared. This aspect of my training put me in the headspace to be curious and open. Always looking for what I may not be understanding fully and ready to hear what is being said. Not just through the overt but also the subliminal.

Shifting into writing, I found myself writing interviews, first on my own blog, then for a multi-media platform I co-founded, then onto our platforms short film and then for a local film and television associations newsletter. I interviewed professionals in the media industry, artists, academics, industry leaders, business owners, friends and sometimes family.

All of this was a training ground.

I have been privileged so far to have found mentors and colleagues who have not only given me opportunities to grow but also encouraged me into the skills and capabilities that have always been there.

Reflecting on the women I have looked up to and revered over the years, I am amused at the apparent nature and theme.

Lisa Ling, Oprah Winfrey, Maya Angelou, Brene Brown, Sarah Polley, Elizabeth Gilbert and Shonda Rhimes.

Writers.
Storytellers.
Researchers.
Journalists.

The common theme I come back to again and again, and the lesson each of these pillars of their industries has taught me,

is the value of holding space for the fullness of themselves, which allows them to cultivate and hold space for the fullness of others.

And this is a value I work to hold for myself.

That I honour and push for the fullness within me so that I can deeply see and meet the fullness and wholeness of another.

It Starts With Us | Colleen Hoover

A sequel to Colleens ‘It Ends With Us’. This addition brings a full circle moment of what it means to grapple with choices and the emotional processing that can occur post an abusive relationship.

The Club | Ellery Lloyd

Being a Reese Witherspoon pick, I assumed I would find this a rapid read, but not so. Be it the wrong timing for me or just simply not enjoying the writing style….
although read it - It was a struggle. I like the idea of a ‘who dun it’ set in a high society club / island retreat, but the execution of this read was hard to follow for me.

To Sir Phillip With Love | Julia Quinn

Another book in the Bridgerton series with perhaps my favourite character in the family. Eloise. Quippy, sassy, independent and gutsy we get to see her fumble her way through a relationship. I loved every page. A great indulgent ‘just for fun’ summer read.

TV / FILMS OF NOTE

Barbie - because not only is it the perfect summer film, but it also flips everything upside down in the most beautiful side wink way.
The Incredibles - because every eight year old needs to see this animation.
Jury Duty S01 - a social experiment done right. Although shocking in it’s premise, it is a heartwarming and beautiful work of art that has an uplifting outcome.

Being a self-professed type 'A' personality, I have a lot of routines, habits and methods of madness I have collected over the years to keep myself on track.

These routines and habits have been anchor points when life feels out of control, confusing or dull. For better or worse, I have been mostly good at sticking to my guns and following through with things as simple as a daily walk, reaching out to friends, scheduling the week ahead…’

Until last year.

Last year I began the slow unwinding of trying to keep all the balls in the air, specifically with relationships.

I stopped over planning and I just stopped being a leader in correspondence. I was still actively responding and communicating, but my energy to continue being the leader in all my interactions shifted. Rather than taking charge and seeking discourse, I was listening. Rather than holding space for others, I was holding space for myself.

This year I have continued to build upon that more profound and grounded state of being.

And to do that?

I have been breaking many of the routines, habits and methods of madness that kept me in control for years.

And in doing so, I have uncovered the new, re-found the old ways and delight in discovery.

So far, I have

• re-found my love for Hot Yoga and the Modo Yoga Community

• tried out 12-hour fasting.

• Asked for more in my work.

• solidified new and old friendships

• discovered my true love for a more urban lifestyle

• explored academia and its options

• fully embraced the reality and fun lifestyle choice of being parents to ‘one’ child.

These seemingly small things have impacted how I look at life, and I plan to continue breaking habits to find the new and re-meet the old.

Onwards,

Reward Systems

How well you perform under pressure determines how praised and holy you are.
Double points if you have a good memory and can navigate the Bible quickly.
Triple points if you bring a friend.
Quadruple points if you give your allowance at tithe time.

Attendance
Miss a Sunday?
Quietly judging you while slipping passive aggressive comments your way.

Dating
Does the leadership / youth pastor approve?

Involvement
Prerequisites
Must attend all of the following: morning service, evening service, meeting, practice, home group, study group, outreach, missions trip, ladies / mens breakfasts, special service, prayer night…etc.etc.

Seating placement
Closer to the front, the more serious about your faith you are.
Act accordingly and choose wisely

Personal Issues?
We will tell you what is best and you will accept our guidance.
Disagreeing is disagreeing with ‘truth’.

Mental Health Struggles?
Pray more.

Community?
Only happens in this building and in sanctioned home groups / events

Pop Culture
Will use references for quippy sermon slides and advertising.
Reserved rights to critique, snark and vilify any and all mainstream art and hot topic events.
****War films and the Lord of the Rings Franchise do not apply.****

Lights, Camera, Action
The higher the production value, the closer to God.

Giving
10% and all your time.
& then give more, it’s never enough.

How the North American Mega Church Movement Affected Me is a reflection on my upbringing in an evangelical mega church. It is not lost on me that the word ‘corporate’, a word predominately used in business settings was used routinely to remind members of the group ‘togetherness’ in any activity.
My personal experience growing up in a mega church felt sterile, systematic, tiered, controlled, cold and unattainable.

Since leaving this model of faith practice at age 17 I have experienced different and more positive expressions of faith and spiritual community. Although I still carry a faith and spiritual practice, how I practice and express that today looks and feels different.

I Never Promised I Would Stay Quiet About It… is a series of revelations, observations and citations on the topics and concepts often considered taboo.

Already in full bloom, the muggy, overcast and sometimes sunny days of a Nova Scotia summer are here.

This summer, I am approaching like summer rain.

Sporadic, unannounced and magical.

If you have danced in a summer rain, you know how it smells and tastes.
It’s something different and unique.

My approach this season is to push myself in my thinking and doing.
Rather than keeping the typical schedule, I am asking myself what makes sense today? What needs to be done? What project needs attention? What am I missing?
What am I needing?

It can be vulnerable to be without work, but it is also an invitation.

An invitation to discover and delight in the creativity that has brought me here today.

Onwards I go into these full magical summer moments discussing work, life and learning with family, friends and colleagues while dancing in the summer rain when it graces us with its presence.

A short radio documentary with CBC Mainstreet Nova Scotia, on the co-owners Maria Radelich and Shannon Platt of Pelivco Health Centre along with their clients to learn about pelvic health and why taking the needs of all gender-specific dysfunctions is important.

Listen: Here

My Body | Emily Ratajkowski

This read hit a thousand nerves. Those I knew about and those I didn’t. I would tingle at the end of each segment, knowing that Emily was laying bare the truths so many of us women walk around with, no matter our physical classification. Her obvious ‘hinting’ at various people makes me slightly unsettled. I would much rather her say their names outright since it was so obvious with her descriptions, but perhaps this was changed in edits for legal reasons.

Illogical | Emmanuel Acho

I have admired Emmanuel and his grace-filled way of addressing life and society's circumstances. This book is the same. He so puts, without elevating himself, how he has been able to push beyond the logical limits of his life. There is no trick, simply a way of thought that has helped propel him forward. I enjoyed the reflections at the end of each chapter to help put his ideas into personal perspective.

Home | Julie Andrews

Julie writes and talks in a way that reminds me of my late paternal grandmother. In that classic British way yet with the colour and grit of someone who is not above a dirty joke or can’t see the humour in tragedy. Reading Julie’s reflections on her life makes me feel slightly connected to that crass classy side of my grandmother and to the beautiful makings of who I would say is one of my childhood and adult icons. I admire that Julie has kept onward and upwards in every aspect of her life.

The Awakened Family | Shefali Tsabary, Ph.D.

I have been picking away at this read for several years now. Mostly with my partner, but recently I decided to pick it back up to finish it. Although I found Dr.Sheflai's “Conscious Parenting” book more enlightening, I found nuggets of reflection in this read. It doesn’t read easily, but it is profound in its content.

FILM/TV SHOWS OF NOTE

Ted Lasso S03 - This show has carried us through the worst of the pandemic world, and hopefully, with its end, we will also see a little more light. The type of light it has given us in every uplifting episode where it subverts what our suspicious minds have so easily misread and misjudged.
The Little Mermaid Live Action - A memorable moment in the cinema with my favourite girls & a great elevation of the Disney classic. Prince Eric is now a three-dimensional character. Bravo Disney.
Julia S01 - Quite literally one of the most beautiful pieces of television I have watched. Based on Julia Child’s rise to become a famous television chef, this series was the warm French meal we didn’t know we needed. I shouldn’t have been surprised that the creator behind it was also on “The Marvellous Mrs.Maisel” team—elegance and depth in storytelling echo throughout these projects.
Encanto - Another deep tale centring around Mariable Madrigal and her big magical family and home. In case you missed it, this animation gives light on generational trauma and how it ripple effects into the next generations. It’s deeply compelling and musically excellent.

When I pick a word to walk with for a year, I never know exactly what will happen on that journey. I can only know that the word came to me during reflection and processing of what I wanted for the coming year.

Resonance

came to me out of a deep desire to sink deeper into a medium and craft of audio storytelling I hadn’t let myself consider or even believe was possible for me. And yet, as 2022 ended, I found a new side of myself. A shiny new side that was there all along.

As I have worked the past six months to align myself with those that would help me develop quality, deep and evocative work and life, I have found something else. Something I didn’t expect.

I wasn’t only finding the fullness of others and the projects but a fullness in myself.

A deepening and broadening of horizons and. The point that I have had a hard time swallowing it all because everything up until this point has told me

• There is not enough money for you.

• You don’t have what it takes.

• Your role is ‘this,’ not ‘that.’

• You thought you were good at this, but you are not.

Etc.

Over the past two months, I have started to implement the concept of seeing what aligns with my values as a whole person. Not just as the person who pitches stories… but also as the woman.

The Amy Grace.

What does she want?

What is she capable of?

*it seems so silly to admit to these things… Haven’t I been doing this all along?

Yes & No.

The revelation is that I have been trying to be myself in a box. A box I still desperately wanted to fit.

I was never supposed to fit that box.

With this new understanding, I take resonances hand and explore what is outside the box and what is possible with the me that I am and the me I continue to find out I can be.

Bug off Collection | Bloom Greenhouse & Garden Centre

This collection of plants was put in a shallow terra cotta bowl to ward off bugs. All plants that mosquitos and other pesky bugs don’t like. I liked the idea, and although I may buy these plants individually next year, I thought it made sense to give the collection a go.

White Leather Kids | Softmoc

Keds are my go-to shoes. Over spring, I picked up this pair for work days while in the house and using my standing desk.

Glossier You | Gift from the best friend

Sweetly given upon her arrival back to my province. On my first application, I was sent back to a time when the store JACOB used to be in Nova Scotia and how they would sell and give their fragrance. It was my favourite until the chain folded/moved out of every province. I remember being disappointed over it. This scent reminds me so much of that fragrance, and I love it.

Cannon 16 mm Lens | Birthday gift

The kit lens that came with my Cannon ER0S went with a 24 - 105 kit lens which, although significant, is a lot to tote around. This new lens captures a master-wide shot and gives a sense of intimacy. It provides a perspective that the other one can’t.

Jane Eyre by Charlotte Brontë | Chapters

Although I had a copy given to me years ago, it had baggage with the history of it. I decided this beautiful edition would be its replacement. I love the brush strokes and how it almost seems wet in appearance—art in its purest and raw form.

Anchor Paper Clip | Gift

A sweet gift from a friend away.

Motherhood

It was never supposed to be a one-size-fits-all but a unique role…like an individual fingerprint.

Only ‘you’ can hold that imprint.

It’s yours to design.

Report Cards

They were never a true reflection of my full intelligence,

merely a report on how well I assimilated into one mould of learning.

Gender Roles

The script about our roles and identity was a constructed play developed by culture.

What we do with our roles is entirely up to ourselves.

Scarcity

The high vigilance to protect ‘what is’

keeps us restrained from the abundance of ‘what can be’.

Fear

Its job was not to keep you frozen in place. 
Its job was to nudge you to move in the direction you need to move best for you.

Expectations

They were never going to be satisfied with how you fulfilled their hopes and ideals.
Inhale, exhale.
You are enough.

Limitations

They can be torn down; it just takes work.

Things I Am Learning to Unlearn was written after realizing how much I was processing through old belief systems. Everything from one’s childhood to one’s adulthood, we collect ‘so-called’ truths from our environments and ultimately, if we are privileged and aware enough, spend the entirety of our lives unlearning what we took on that was never ours to believe in the first place.

I Never Promised I Would Stay Quiet About It… is a series of revelations, observations and citations on the topics and concepts often considered taboo.

Romancing Mister Bridgerton | Julia Quinn

Despite the third season of Bridgerton not coming out until late 2023, I wanted to make sure I had read its ‘inspired by’ corresponding book. Bridgerton seasons are often different from the texts. Still, I enjoy reading how Julia wrote the characters and how Shonda Rhimes works magic to make a Regency-era series reflect a variety of cultures and tones of today. Shonda continues to break the ceilings in television and give us audience cultural nutrients in the guise of a dessert. In the fourth book, which will be the third season of the Netflix series, we get the story of Collin & Pen. I loved every delicious and sweet mishap. Any more, and I’ll spoil it, but let’s say it’s my second favourite book thus far in the series.

Dream More | Dolly Parton

Ms.Dolly constantly throws out truth bombs, and I loved this short, quirky little read.

Apples Never Fall | Liane Moriarty

Despite the somewhat slow start, this read is an excellent example of giving the reader just enough to want to continue reading and finding out ‘more.’ It is safe to say; I did not see the ending coming. Enough said.

TV/FILMS OF NOTE
Selena: My Mind & Me - I love how Selena lays out her mental health journey in a human way. It’s a normal human thing, and I hope our generation and those that follow can do it better. Open up our journeys and humanize them. They are not to be ashamed of. We learn so much from each other when we are honest.
Glass Onion: A Knives Out Mystery - A sister film to Knives Out featuring the detective from the first film. A classic, quirky and twisty ‘who dun it.’
Succession S04 - If Shakespeare was making television…you would get Succession. Every episode was intense and equally dark in the most thought-provoking ways.
The Marvellous Mrs. Maisel S05 - ripped apart that this was the last season. Saying goodbye to these characters was torture, yet every episode was a joy, intellectually stimulating and earth-shifting in delivery. True art. Amy Sherman Palladino OUTDID herself with these characters.

34 notations, lessons, observations and gold found.

*In no particular order.

1. Pursue the deep, the wonder and the voiceless…there is always gold in what has not yet been given light.

2. Anyone that leaves you behind has lost the plot. Their time in your story has passed and if they resurface, only you can say if they belong in the new pages of your story or not.

3. Resist the temptation to repeat old patterns / ways of connecting. You do it different.

4. No one wants to leave you. They simply haven’t healed themselves enough to stay.

5. You have the strongest ties to the ones that will be there for the worst of it all. Give those ties a tug when needed. They’ll be there.

6. Your bit of earth is rich and vibrant. Watch it grow and cultivate it during the quiet seasons. Quiet doesn’t mean fallow.

7. Everything that is inside you that tells you are unintelligent is a lie. Your intelligence moves mountains not only outwardly but on the insides of others. Don’t hide your processing and thoughts. It’s your calling to share.

8. Celebrate every win. Don’t shy away from being proud.

9. Listen to your gut. It has never steered you wrong.

10. If you thought ‘family’ was a word to pitch your tent to, think again. Learn. Connect and learn again.

11. Lean not on others, but stand upright on the two feet you were given.

12. Take up space and hold space in every room you walk into.

13. Reject every 'othering’ narrative that seeks to control a room.

14. Embrace the woman and mothering ways that only you uniquely inhabit.

15. Work on what you are aware of, stay learning and work some more.

16. Be the friend you need and want… but draw the line at being used and sucked dry.

17. Process every wound and give it air. Work to find it’s best healing and do not deny its presence and process.

18. Expect more from yourself. You are already capable of more than you realize.

19. If you were told to let someone else do it in your childhood / young adult years, give it a go alone. See if you are capable. (you probably are.)

20. Drive. Stay independant. Never let fear drive the car.

21. Dress to please you and how you want to present yourself. Not for anyone else.

22. When faced with misogyny / sexual misconduct, do not accept the blame. Call out the toxic patriarchy and let your words speak for themselves.

23. Stay courageous, vulnerable and open….and share when you feel safe.

24. Rather than letting them define you, define yourself.

25. Travel when it suits you. If it doesn’t, don’t. If it does, do.

26. You always know when it’s time for a change. Your restless heart beat will let you know.

27. Others won’t be ready for your changes, but you will be. Let that be enough.

28. Protect your independence and ability to stand on your own two feet. Question anyone who wants to make you dependant.

29. Question anyone who puts you on a pedestal.

30. “Just between us” is a death sentence.

31. Move your body. You will always feel better after.

32. Anyone you have loved has gotten a glimpse of heaven through your love…don’t discredit your heart and what you have given.

33. Stay witty. You are a firecracker and they love that about you. (& it keeps you alive for yourself)

34. Stay you. Stay Amy freaking Grace.

“They/Them vs. We/Us”
Elevating our perspectives, experiences and perceived knowledge by keeping anyone believed as ‘other’ in a category of ‘they/them.’

Identifying a human being with the identifier of ‘Clown / Fool / Idiot/use of a Clown Emoji’.
In the arena of supposed adult intellectual conversation, leveraging and permitting the art of playground name-calling.
A Special Note:
On a School playground, we call this bullying.
In the arena of adults: this is still called bullying.

“Must Be Nice”
Words said to make you feel unsettled in what you have, subsequently diminishing the struggles of what you don’t have.
A Special Note:
The Dictionary defines this as jealousy.

Use of “Hun/Hunny” and other pet names in conflict.
To degrade, dismiss and control the concerns/narratives of another.

“Are you sure this is the hill you want to die on?”
Because they took it and they think you should too.

“It’s okay."
Used to assure you that the rise of alarm bells within you doesn’t matter.

“Fake”
Diminishing a person with one word to control the narrative.

How We Dehumanize Others was written from a place of trauma and ache.
We walk on this earth in such a vulnerable state as humans, and yet we rarely take a minute to look around us. No comparison is needed, no dressing down required, and no mic drop moment desired to recognize we are all mere humans surviving on this earth.

A gradual conviction grew in me over the past decade where I recognized how I, those around me and anyone could so easily strip another person's human identity from them with mere words.

Our words can be as resounding as a gun.

& for this ‘I Never Promised,’ I specifically want to highlight the Evangelical Christians who raised me. The ones who spout words online as if it’s their right, yet how often do they pause and think about the words they use? The vitriol they are spilling all over the screens of others. For what?

Solidarity?

For Christians, there should be a higher standard in words, yet the lack of care, tenderness and compassion so often shakes me.

I have been dehumanized not just by people's callous statements but also by those who raised me. Who so easily strip me of my humanity with how they talk about my profession, friends, colleagues and life.

We must demand more from ourselves.

More from our humanity.

& especially more from the practice of a faith which claims Grace as its saviour.

I Never Promised I Would Stay Quiet About It… is a series of revelations, observations and citations on the topics and concepts that are often considered taboo.

The Further Tale of Peter Rabbit | Emma Thompson

Emma Thompson is not just an actor, she is also a beautiful story teller. I love her wit, her groundless and especially this special addition to a beloved character. If you come across this sweet children’s book, please give it a read.

The Penderwicks on Graham Street | Jeanne Birdsall

Another children’s book in the form of a group of sisters who are despairing their fathers potential courtships years after their mothers death. Each character gives a sweet image of girlhood, sisterhood and all that makes childhood entertaining, despairing and utterly dramatic.

A Court of Mist and Fury | Sarah J. Maas

The second in A Court of Thorns and Roses series. Being an avid studier in storytelling and all that makes a series work, this second novel didn’t disappoint. I could see the reveals that were coming and yet even still they were expertly places and beautifully executed. It’s no wonder it will be turned into a television series adaptation. And if anyone is wondering, the heroine remains as riveting as ever.

Films / TV Series of Note

CODA - Because he needed to see it, and the second re watch was just as moving. Makes me miss the friendships and connections made through my first career as an American Sign Language Interpreter…. I don’t think I’ve ever seen my partner cry as hard during a film as he did in this one.
Game Night - Anytime I thought the twists were done, there was another. Impressive.
Succession S04 - For the incredible Shakespearian style storytelling paired next to modern day ridiculous behaviour that… unfortunately is more relatable than we’d like to admit.
The Marvellous Mrs.Maisel S05 - Drawing out each and EVERY episode.

Flatlay of three books: The Further Tale of Peter Rabbit, The Penderwicks on Graham Street, A Court of Mist and Fury

Over the winter I worked alongside the Mainstreet Nova Scotia team to collect the voices of paramedics and produce their story.

Take a Listen via CBC

Releasing Expectations & Rejecting Scarcity - byamygrace

expectation | ˌekˌspekˈtāSH(ə)n | noun a strong belief that something will happen or be the case in the future: reality had not lived up to expectations | there is the expectation that some individuals will do better in the program than others | he drilled his men in expectation of a Prussian advance. • a belief that someone will or should achieve something: students had high expectations for their future. • (expectations) archaic one's prospects of inheritance.

scarcity | ˈskersədē | noun (plural scarcities) the state of being scarce or in short supply; shortage: a time of scarcity | the growing scarcity of resources.Last Year I made an active decision to step back from my own perception of ‘expectations’.

A year ago

I began letting go of the expectations and uncovering the root of scarcity as a belief system. Be it perceived expectations by myself or real expectations from outside myself; I had been carrying a weight I identified would not allow me to grow further.

I have been actively letting go of:

• Being the sole organizer and leader for family and friendships.

• The belief system in the traditional path into media and creative writing is the only true path.

• Our small family and personal life choices will match those we interact with.

• The belief in exactly who would/will be in my corner when the chips were down, and real life was crashing in.

• Our ability to enjoy ourselves is limited.

• Certainty.

Since actively working daily on letting go of expectations from myself and society/others, I have realized that so much of my pain is self-induced and has also been permitted by me.

I am actively embracing:

• Engaging in in-depth and connective family and friendships that go deep.

• Sinking into a documentary journalism career that I love, am excellent at and continue to thrive and grow in.

• Celebrating our unique choices and options as a small family to engage with each other and the world around us.

• Enjoying deepening the small collective of friends, family and colleagues who continue to show up for me/us.

• Identifying the trauma and roots of scarcity within my family and society.

• Looking ahead to the future with curiosity and wonder rather than with fear and scarcity.

Releasing expectations and rejecting scarcity is not a practice I will be automatically able to step away from. This is a practice I will have to remain mindful of and continue the self-reflective work to find the roots of fear and continue pulling them out one at a time.

Onwards,

IMAGE DESCRIPTION: Tulips sprouting from garden earth. Text: Spring 2023 - byamygrace

When Spring arrived on March 20th, I was ill-prepared.

I felt the heaviness of the project I was working on (a project that highlighted the severe plight of paramedics in my Province) and the lack of connection to my faith, which usually feels closer during the Lent season. I felt the pressing in of my life and business partners' trip in early April coming all too fast.

I decorated for Easter with lacklustre. I found agony in how other families gathered and celebrated bunnies, eggs and cute family photos in a way I have been unable to make happen again since childhood.

Yet as the sun begins its descent each evening, I have felt a promise of a world opening up. A new birth to a new version of the life we have been living.

And isn't that the promise of Easter in the first place?

New life, a rebirth.

The broken, the perceived dead could be risen out of the ground and made into something we couldn't have imagined.

This Spring, I am actively sourcing a new way, a new life, and the renewed soil ready for me; for us.

Enough of this life I thought would be.
Enough of this old narrative and the old way of doing things.
It is time to embrace the miracles. The right now moments are rich with potential and joy.

This Spring, I will leave behind

• Surface small talk to get me by

• Hesitating in scarcity mentality in my work

• Staying street bound in family movement

• Sinking into the weight of death.

This Spring, I will be

• Welcoming deep, intelligent connections and conversations

• Investing back into the work, I am driven to create

• Embracing collective family movement

• Celebrating life.

Virgin River | Robyn Carr

I picked this up on a whim, hoping it was as comforting a read as it appeared. It is precisely that. City Nurse Practitioner / Midwife looking for a new life in a small country town. It’s a story of the ages and delivers with every page.

Fall On Your Knees | Ann Marie MacDonald

I remember feeling jealous of the other High School English classes having this as required reading. My specific class did not. I am finally getting to it, and it did not disappoint. It’s heavy. It’s tragic. It’s complex. It’s deep. It’s real. I sincerely appreciate the work and craft behind this book.
I grew up in a white-washed culture and perspective. No one is to blame for that. It just was. Fall On Your Knees was a deep dive into multiple cultures, women coping with their circumstances and the nuance of immigrant families that have existed for decades in Canada.

Good Girls Lie | J.T.Ellison

A fun, mysterious rapid read ‘who done it’ with enough twists and turns to keep one intrigued and flipping the pages. Great for those who love a good ‘elite private school’ mystery.

TV / FILMS OF NOTE:

Why Women Kill S01 - For the mystery, the surprise and the fun.
Coco - A great cultural look at Mexican culture, family and identity.
Downton Abbey A New Era - The best Downton Film thus far. Fun and profoundly moving in its own right.

IMAGE DESCRIPTION: Text : How They Train You Out of Yourself - I Never Promised I Would Stay Quiet About It…

If you want to keep your averages up, you’ll have to take a lower-level class.
Genuine interest and passion cannot compete with test scores.

Look right, look left, one of you will be gone by the end of the year.
Fear-based training.

Our job is to tear you down to build you into something different.
Forced to leave yourself behind.

You need to grow thicker skin.
Emotion has no place in this world.

You haven’t lived long enough yet.
An introduction to ageism and how it decides your understanding of trauma.

“No one listens to skinny pretty women.”
Appearance decides relevancy.

How They Train You Out of Yourself is a small selection of moments from my educational journey. Looking back, I am mortified at what I accepted as normal, part of the process, and often direct minimization of my intelligence as a young woman.
At the outset, we train children to only lean into and use their natural skill set rather than support them as they explore the various interests they may hold, no matter their skill or lack thereof. From that place, we are sent out to be trained, often grasping at straws at our possible value.
The underlying motivator in most professional practice training is fear, and we allow that to drive the narrative in lectures, testing, mentorship and in-field training.
Supporting this narrative creates a breeding ground for bullying in the forms of 'power imbalance’, gender-based discrimination, and racism, to name a few.

My healing back to myself has not come from the training I have received but from the constant and persistent demand from myself that I prohibit anyone and anything from discrediting my value as a whole person, body, mind and soul. Any words or actions said or done in any way to devalue my humanity are unacceptable to me now.

From that place of healing and respect for my humanity, I have found the mentors, teachers, and colleagues that teach, collaborate, and work with me in solidarity and raise me into my highest, most capable self.

I Never Promised I Would Stay Quiet About It… is a series of revelations, observations and citations on the topics and concepts that are often considered taboo.