Sweater weather is here!!

We got to the beach so many times this summer and it’s only enforced our full enjoyment of getting out and enjoying the best of what each season has to offer.

Autumn Goals:

Crisp Walks

As the weather get’s colder and rains more in Halifax, Nova Scotia, it’s easy to want to stay inside, but that is a total cop out. There are still plenty of sunny and or overcast days that can be enjoyed. Getting out for those crisp Autumnal walks are a must. Hot coffee or hot chocolate for the walk didn't hurt anyone either.

Dancing

Autumn is the season where our city’s Swing Dance Society starts back up in ‘full swing’. As much as we can, we are going to try to attend events and get some of those beautiful dance opportunities in.

S’mores

Summer is not the end of S’mores. There are still plenty of nights where S’more dip or Traditional S’mores can be had.

Flannels / Blankets

Switch to flannels and pull out the cozies. We are in full blown cuddle mode over here.

Candles

Getting a few autumn scented candles and some plain ones are a great way to make Hygge happen in the home.

Top Centre - Clockwise: Blue tank top | Frenchies, Blue / White striped Dress | Banana Republic, China Rich Girlfriend by Kevin Kwan | Indigo, Blue T-Shirt Dress | The Gap, Blue dress | Second Hand from Jasmine Alexander, ‘Faux’ Lipstick | Mac, ‘There in Heartbeat Necklace’ | Bryan Anthonys from Jasmine Alexander, Blue Tank top | Modcloth.com , Folded up Black romper | The Gap, Sleep Aromatherapy Body Cream | Bath and Body Works, Can’t Stop Won’t Stop | Bench, White and Yellow Striped Scarf | Indigo, Starfish Keds | Softmoc, Nutragena SPF moisturizer | Shoppers Drug Mart, Joggers | Roots, Fresh Soy Face Cleanser | Sephora, Green Shorts | The Gap, Tribe Engraved bracelet | From the bestie Nicole Payzant, Jean Shorts | H&M, Off White Jersey Summer Dress | H&M, Lagom Book | Indigo, White silk Tank | Bootlegger

BLUE BLUE BLUE BLUE….

Can you tell what colours I like by now?

This summer I finally felt like I had a fully well developed capsule wardrobe to pull out for the summer.

What I Added

Banana Republic Blue Striped Dress : Bought for the purpose of wearing to the Wedding Shower I was hosting as a Maid of Honour, and for any future special summer events that happen in our coastal city / atmosphere.

Can’t Stop Won’t Stop Tank : I wear my two yoga tops on a weekly rotation and one is loosing it’s appeal, I thought adding something motivational and different for my ‘spring/summer’ workouts would be a great boost and also practical way to get me motivated.

Roots Joggers : I looked high and low. It could be that I was looking in the late spring into summer, but even still the joggers I found for women were either too cheap / thin in fabric or had insane detailing that ruined the look. I do not want ‘rips’ pre-made into my joggers thank-you….let’s leave those for the girlfriend / boyfriend jeans! Roots joggers although expensive on the outset, I imagine, will last me many years. They are plush, cozy, durable and make me feel attractive. There are many a rainy day or Sunday early writing morning that I don’t want to be in jeans or yoga pants. These are a great alternative, & admittedly, my husband is glad that I am not stealing his joggers to wear on a damp day!

H&M dress : insanely cheap. This jersey dress cost me about $18 give or take , has pockets and flows perfectly. Being short in stature with ample sized breasts, most dresses that hang without some sort of form to it make me look pregnant, but this one doesn’t! It has just the right shape to indicate my body shape underneath and also just enough flow to feel like I can be out and about with a more relaxed posture.

Bootlegger White silk Tank: I bought this knowing I wanted it for work occasions. Although it is a bit low in the cleavage area I have found that when I wear it, I only have to be aware when I am bending down and in awkward positions. Of course, being a mom, that seems like all the time, but wearing this to events has been a a confidence booster. White in the summer is such a breeze.

What I am thinking of letting go of

The blue dress that Jasmine has in my closet that we have shared through out the years has a slight rip near the top of the back. I am reticent to get rid of it, even though I know it is not fixable (The fabric is sheer there and just not worth my time to fix it, although this specific dress has certainly given Jasmine and I years of wear and memories.)

What isn’t pictured here:

Swim suit, flip flips, runners, workout shorts, pyjamas.

Top Centre - Clockwise: We Are Better Together Book | Gift from Great Aunt Linda & Great Uncle Keith, Rose Gold Pineapple Cat Ear Hat | Carters, Kitty Pyjamas | | Carters, Red / White Striped T-Shirt | Carters, Octupus Charm Bracelet | From Tai Ma in Hong Kong, Pink Dress | H&M, Jean Shorts | Carters, Green Sunglasses | Carters, Colourful Tank top | Carters & Second Hand find from Auntie Nicole, Swimmer T-Shirt | Carters & Second hand find from Auntie Nicole, Sneakers | Zara, Flower Romper | Joe Fresh, Christopher Robin Adventures Poems | 1932 Book given to my paternal Grandmother when she was a child, Chalk | SuperStore, Teddy Bear Sticker Book | Indigo, Beach Cover Up | Carters, Swim Suit | Carters.

NEW:

Swimsuit

I try when buying new items to buy what I believe fits my little’s specific taste and personality. So many swimsuits for toddler/pre school girls are either bikini style or super girly. This was a beautiful middle ground while also offering more sun protection than a toddler bikini.

Red Striped T & Jean Shorts

Believe it or not, these jean shorts are size 18 months and still baggy on her. That’s just the way her body is, long and petite, but I did love how this red striped T was a sweet weekend combo.

LAST YEAR:

Pink Dress

We bought this dress for her child dedication at church in early Spring 2017. This summer it’s become the perfect little linen dress for post beach or on an extremely hot day.

Romper

Originally bought last summer, we were thankful to see this romper still fit.

HEAT WAVE

This capsule is very minimal for many reasons. One of them being, as much as we could this summer, we let her go as ‘raw’ as we could. It was so hot that often we skipped pyjamas and let her play around the house in just her underwear.

This was the hottest summer in Nova Scotia ever recorded and I was amazed at how the heat never let up. Sitting at 30/32, sometimes 35 degrees on any given day, with humidity in the air pushing the temp closer to 40 was such a hard adjustment to us east coasters. We love our wind, rain and overcast days more than we realize.

All in all, this season was very minimal with re-using a lot of the lightest weight clothes and we are looking forward to seeing what sweaters, and shirts she still fits from last winter / Autumn wardrobe.

Succulent Terrarium

We made a terrarium a couple years back but (SOMEONE ...ahem... not me...) over watered it, so we had to dump it.  This late Spring early Summer we started anew with these beautiful new succulents from The Flower Shop.

Beach Towels

Since 2011 we have been using old Beach Towels of mine and Jeremy's parents.  This year I waited for a sale on these Luxurious oversized towels at Bed Bath and Beyond.  No regrets.

China Rich Girlfriend

#2 in the Crazy Rich Asians Series, this book lives up to it's expectations.  Funny, true and insightful.

Beach Rocks

Collecting beach rocks is a way of anchoring ones soul to the ocean.  Hopefully this year I will get around to painting these.

Starfish Keds

Walking everywhere in these shoes.

Morning Breeze by Juke Ross

Something about this song gets to me.

"Take all your things and take the past with you, Your selfish ways I cant wait to loose. I'm… With the morning Breeze, I was right by your side But your arms released me, now I'm flying high..."

Lagom

Reading this book during the summer months has been a sort of meditation.  Remember not to take life so seriously and take it one section at a time.

Yellow Striped Scarf

I have had this scarf since 2010 from Indigo, and it continues to inspire me in the summer months.

Aromatherapy Sleep Body Cream

This is an affective cream for calming the senses.

Other favourites:

The Good Place - For the extreme laughs & character development.
Mad Men - Re-watching this series is so much more impactful at age 29 then when we first watched it.  Let's be honest, 10 years ago we watched it for Don Draper (Jon Hamm), now, with new eyes we watch it for Peggy Olsen (Elisabeth Moss)
S'more Dip - For that seasonal snack
Nova 7 Wine -  This one in particular
 

With a family wedding up and coming and being the Maid of Honour, it's a privilege to be able to help celebrate the traditional wedding events & have fun while doing it! 

Overview of the evening:

Wine Tasting at Obladee

Was informative as it was enjoyable.  The woman who walked us through the tasting was informed as she was pleasant to listen to.  It was fun to learn more about what rosé wines were available in our province and also a deeper red from out of town.  The Brides favourite was between the 'L'Acadie Vineyards Vintage Cuvée Rosé' and the 'Cherubino Pedestal Cabernet Merlot'.  My favourite, due to the hot summer and my yearning for Autumn, the 'Cherubino Pedestal Cabernet Merlot'.

Dinner at Lot Six

The Bride & I were both ravenous by then for their hamburger and a glass of red.  The combination was amazing.  Highly recommend their atmosphere and menu. 

Dancing

In-between dinner and dancing we went to a bridesmaids house in located in the city to primp some more before taxying downtown to dance.  (what better way to end the evening than to dance?)

We were planning on going to a newer more retro dance club called 'Vinyl' which plays all the older eighties music and has throwback eighties dance atmosphere, but in the lead up to this event we found out they closed for the duration of the summer.  We opted for the safe bet in The Pacifico.

I have always enjoyed the Pacifico for it's happy & safe atmosphere.  It allows for everyone to have fun while not permitting any rowdiness, which when hosting a bride is exactly what we want.  Safe & fun! 

Let the hair fly!!! 

or, as we found that warm night, put your hair up in a bun & continue dancing....

We tied the night up with late night pizza followed with a brunch the next morning.

It was so exciting to realize as we cheered our mimosas we were getting to the home stretch of celebrating this wedding. 

October is just around the corner!!!! 

I am a reader. 

A book dragon, as some might say. 

My biggest accomplishment in Jr.High was graduating one of my jr. high years with a certificate for being the student who read the most books along with a gift certificate from my English teacher to a book store in my city.  

Yeah... Book nerd! 

Looking back, I am proud of that.  I may not have been the popular kid but so much of that silly social school dynamics never truly mattered, even if I thought they did.  I was a reader, and this meant my view of the world was already wider than my peers by just opening myself up to various perspectives.  

As an Adult my reading life looks like this:
I make a point to read from these categories:

- Fiction
- Plays / Scripts
- Non Fiction
- Graphic Novels
- Memoirs / Biographies etc.
- Magazines
- Newspapers

This usually means I have various types of reading on the go.

Currently:

- China Rich Girlfriend by Kevin Kwan
- A Wrinkle in Time by Madeleine L'engle
- A Real Simple Magazine
- Ms.Marvel - Mecca - G.Willow Wilson
- An Illustrated History of Nova Scotia by Harry Bruce & Dan Soucoup

I would like to better document what I am reading in some artistic manner and am still grappling with how...until then, I thought a little post would do. 

This month it is our eleven year anniversary of being together and seven year anniversary of marriage.  

Over a decade together has changed us, 

drastically. 

We often half laugh and half cringe at how much we have changed over the years.  He is handsomer, more manly, more in tune and sensitive.  I am in his words: 'sexier, more driven, more confident and gutsy.'

We have traveled some dark roads together and we have also seen first hand what it means to start again.  

I love that about us.  We didn't have the easiest start to our life together as a married duo but we were young enough that as we did the hard work on ourselves we learned how to be stronger and better together. 

What I hope this next decade to be, is our celebration of this life we have re chosen again and again while finding ourselves in those simple moments as we grow and re-grow in new and deeper ways.  

One of our favourite summer time indulgences ...

S'more Dip

Oven safe bowls / skillets
Chocolate Chips
Grahm Crackers
Large Marshmallows

1. Heat the oven to 400 degrees

2. Butter the bottom of the oven dish & add enough chocolate chips that cover the bottom and add as much depth of chips as you would like.

3. Cover chocolate chips with marshmallows.

4.Put in 400 degree oven and let bake until marshmallows are turning light brown. 

5. Let cool for a few minutes and then begin dipping with crackers. 

ENJOY!

Last weekend we took four days and visited family.  The drive from Bedford, Nova Scotia to Montague P.E.I is a stunner.  It has a way of calming and relaxing me.  The ferry that runs during the warmer months breaks up the journey & gives us a chance to enjoy the fresh air. 

The Highlights of a Family Road Trip & Visit 

Reading

Tradition has evolved over the years that when we arrive to P.E.I. we begin to swap books out, debrief on the latest reads and make new reading / life goals. I have noticed that Jeremy enters into reading here and that now that our 'little' is older her car travel rides consist of her flipping through books for hours.

Games

Having an uncle who is a board game youtuber has it's benefits.  We are constantly learning new games when we visit and laughing along the way.  This time it was 'The Mind' & 'Gladiators in An Arena' (heh) that really stuck out to us!   (I LOVE 'THE MIND')

Naps/Rests

Having a three year old with a nap-time has a way of setting the 'quiet time' tone, but I think it's safe to say that when all of you but one have a book in your lap and your eyes closed , it's time to admit defeat.  

Being

Although PEI has it's touristy activities which I am sure as our toddler ages we will take advantage of, visiting this family has a source of peace to it.  We take each day as it comes and don't overload.

I am not really sure how to define or explain that ease and peace that we find together but it's there.  As the years go by I am recognizing that the peace in togetherness and time well spent is so much more valuable then the next crazy adventure or the next task on my to do list.  

I left feeling refreshed & ready for the next wave of events and work.

This Summer I have been slowly working through this book and enjoying the beautiful aspects of what it means to live a 'Lagom' life.  Being a minimalist at heart and desiring a balanced life makes me more than open to this concept of "Not too little, not too much".

What I have learned so far:

Limit Work

In Sweden and other nordic countries working yourself to the ground is not something to be proud of.  You show up to work on time and you leave work when your work hours are over or leave early to pick up your children.  You put your full energy into your work when you are there and maintain attention and productivity but it is seen as a concerning and unhealthy habit to be working past your allotted work hours. 

Enjoy food!

There is no shame in having a 'Fika' moment as they call it: Coffee & a sweet with a friend (usually a cinnamon bun or other pastry).  Food is seen as a way to connect with others and nourish your body.  Diet is not restricted but is mindfully assessed and they especially enjoy taking advantage of what food is in season.

Move with Mindfulness

Movement and exercise is worked into their lifestyle.  Big on bicycles and early morning dips (morgondopp) the Sweden lifestyle is no stranger to cold weather.  They don't let that stop them from enjoying every season and reasons to get out there.   I use their joy for movement by finding every excuse to walk to the errands / places I need to be.  I may not be big on cycling myself or going out of my way to have a 'morgondopp' but I can start the day with yoga and stay mindful of what my day has to offer in various aspect of movement and adjust accordingly.

Embrace each season

As a Nova Scotian I find a kinship with the Swedish / Nordic lifestyle.  We have short Summers and long winters.  (or at least, it can seem that way) Looking at life through their eyes makes you realize how much more we can enjoy and find useful in each month of the year and how snow, cold temperatures doesn't have to stop us from enjoying both in and out of doors.

Heidi Collins & Sean O'Briens Wedding Bridal Party Shower at The Stubborn Goat in Halifax, NS.

Being asked to host any event for people you love is a daunting task and it also a fun one.   You want to make sure that they have the experience and time they were hoping for and that the guests also enjoy themselves while being brought into the atmosphere.

We hosted this Wedding Shower event at The Stubborn Goat in Halifax, bought some balloons & an emoji pictionary game off of Etsy and let the atmosphere take care of itself. 

What I loved the most about this event was how easy it was to enjoy the company of those who came.  The Stubborn Goat put us in the centre of everything which may seem daunting but it also meant we could easily get up, and talk with others and access the bathrooms.  As the evening turned into night the natural lighting gave way to the star like lights hanging from the high ceilings.  A truly magical effect. 

It is an honour to walk through this journey with Heidi.  She may be Jeremy's cousin, but for all intents and purposes she really was and is his sister.  So having the honour as a 'sister-in-law' to put together an event for her is one of the most precious and honouring of tasks.

Here's to many more opportunities to celebrate their milestones together.  

When you grow up in a coastal city, the ocean becomes like the blood in your veins.  It is always there, like a heart beat.

Everything collapses on itself in the ocean.  Everything is stirred, pulled, mixed and churned. 

Everything is washed over.

We go to the ocean to be made new in some way.  

We are taking advantage of as many Beach Days as we can.  It doesn't take much.  Swimsuits, sunscreen, a few sand toys, towels, sandwiches, water, books & a healthy dose of a playful spirit.

Center - Right Clockwise : Fisher Price Doctor Kit | Walmart, Grey/white Lace Baseball shirt | Carters,  White/Pink Star sneakers | Zara, Maya | Indigo from Auntie Heidi,  Pink Tricycle | Second Hand on Kijiji, Jean Shorts | Carters, Blue and White polka dot Dress | Zara, Gaston/Antoinette books | Indigo, Purple Flower pants | Auntie Jasmine & Uncle Tyler, Blue and White Striped Pants | Carters, 'Sea Ya Later' T shirt | Joe Fresh from Grandma & Grandpa, Flower Pants | Carters from Mimi & Yeye, White botanical Shirt | Zara, Girl Power athletic shirt | Joe Fresh, Bicycles & Balloons T. | Carters, Green Pets Pyjamas | Carters, Purple Bunny | Gift from 'Cousin' Betty, Dollhouse accessories | From my 90's childhood stock pile. 

It seems the bulk of this season was from Carters or Zara.  

For Zoë's third Birthday we were able to find an almost new tricycle that usually goes for over $60 and we were able to find it for $40..  She is also at an age of intense imagination and getting her the doctor set this spring really helped her with her fears of doctors and the unknowns.  It empowered her. 

We adore this blue/white polka dot dress and it is big enough that it will grow with her over the next few years.  

Having a toddler/pre-schooler with long legs and a slim body makes finding pants difficult but hopefully with the warmer weather we won't have to think about pants for a few more months.

This season was a fun one, to see our three year old daughter grow in her intellect and her imagination.   It's always fun to see these little capsules and how they captured those few months of her life. 

Top Centre - Clockwise: Grey Sweater wrap | Bootlegger, Striped Hoodie sweater | Bluenotes, Zap Toner | Saje, Black Pleather Jacket | Suzie Shiers, Black Dress | Reitmens, Crazy Rich Asians by Kevin Kwan | Chapters, Blue tank top | Second hand on a road trip, Sail boat pyjamas | La Vie en Rose, Candle | Foxhound, Black Workout shorts | Winners, Sketcher Runners | Soft Moc, Light Ripped Jeans | H&M, Bamboo Sheet Masks | Innisfree , Pink socks | Winners (Lemon) , Graphic T | Threadless, Brown Leather Keds | Little Burgundy, Black Camisole | H&M, Four Leaf Clover Knic Knack | Chapters, Green Pants | RW&Co, Heart Beat necklace | a gift from a bestie , White Linen Shirt | Old Navy, White Yoga top | Local Yoga Store

What is that!?!?! Is that some green sneaking into my wardrobe!?!

With the purchase/find of these green RW&co pants I realized that I really do like this shade of green.  It's earthy and it adds another tone that matches so nicely with my greys, blues, whites and blacks.  I am thinking this is a tone in which I will continue to add more of into my various capsules.

I was able to add some much needed articles this season.  My parents thoughtfully gave me the leather jacket for my birthday (Which I had been aching for after my brown pleather jacket bit the dust after six years of wearing it all the time a couple years ago.)  A white linen shirt which is loose and yet feminine and gives me something relaxed to be in that still can be worn to work meetings or just around at home.   And that black cami, which is so much fun to pair with the pleather jacket, a knit sweater, or just a pair of jeans. 

Reading Crazy Rich Asians slowly has been a fun additive to my spring and that heart beat necklace from my bestie away was a great comfort reminder of her solidarity.  

Missing here is another gift of a bracelet with the word Tribe on it from another bestie, an extra yoga top , under tank tops, extra pyjamas and pair of jeans. 

Overall, these were the tried and true articles of Spring.  The additions fulfilled a lot of my last needs.  The gaps of what I still need each season are getting smaller and smaller.  Very soon it will be just about replacing much loved but worn items along with a meaningful accessory or two. 

I LOVE THIS capsule wardrobe thing!!!

Can ya tell?!?!

1. Innisfree Masks 'bamboo'

Not crazy over mothers day, so these masks from Innis free fit the bill for me.  Some simple pleasures to enjoy during busy weeks. 

2. Crazy Rich Asians by Kevin Kwan

I am savouring this book.  Knowing it was coming out as a film this year, I wanted to make sure I had read it before going to see the film.  Crazy Rich Asians is a deep dive into the various dynamics of the modern Chinese culture around the world.  It is deliciously descriptive, hilarious in it's delivery and so relatable to anyone who is remotely near or in the asian culture.  Cannot wait to see the film adaption!

3. Life Factory Water Bottle

Getting my H2O is more enjoyable when I am drinking through my 'bubbles'.  Easier to keep track.

4. Champagne Bubbles DW Home Candle

I typically enjoy having a small candle on my desk to light when I am working.  I replaced one that was emitting too much scent with this little one from Winners Homescense.  What I love most about it , is that it literally is amazing in the dark, showing lots of different bubbles.

5. Essie Coral Nail Polish

This colour added so much fun to my wardrobe this season.

6. Loreal Boho Babe Nail Polish

As much as I like a good shade, this nude colour is great for anything. 

7. Saje Zap Toner

Never having toner I thought I would add this acne fighting toner to my repertoire.  Ever since stopping breast feeding last summer I have noticed my monthly hormones are less predictable.  

8. White linen button shirt from Old Navy

This cheap linen shirt was all I needed to complete many outfits.  This is a staple I will always maintain in my wardrobe. 

Also enjoying 

- The Americans : for the history, intrigue & incredible actors
- Chardonnay: for that refreshing warmer weather beverage
- Gourmet Burgers : for the thick patty with cheese, and interesting condiments
- Wildewoman by Lucius : for the swing in my step
- Having a fan on while we sleep : for the deeper sleep

Forever singing over each other.  'We are diamonds, rising up out of the dust'. 

The past month has been full of challenges.  I have been and still am processing the weight that comes with wanting to 'go through it', instead of around it.  How do I journey this healthy?  How do I use these broken pieces of me and others and stitch them into something that could be healing?

Amidst the pain, a new life is born.  Our best friends are now parents and everything that is raw, tender, new and reborn has happened.  They are absolutely beautiful in their newness and the love is expanding.  We get to open our arms to more of them.  More of who they are.  Our little is witnessing what 'new' truly is.  

Amidst the pain another best friend visits.  He brings with him that grace and peace that has been hard to anchor and we are again reminded that healing is not a solo job.  Healing is a collective agreement.  Healing is a raising up of eachother. 

I woke up the next morning after his visit with those song lyrics "You Make Me Brave" in my mind.  

We are called to embolden each other.  We are called to enter into each others pain and questions.  We are called to hash it out in the safety of acceptance of one another.  Without that safety, we cannot heal.  

I had so easily forgotten.

This was my calling too.  

Over any of the doubts I carry personally and professionally. 

That I seek to create a safe place for collective healing.  For myself.  For others.

& it's in that healing that courage and bravery is found. 

Tender moments with Uncle and this new little life.  

"Do it when you're ready." 

Simple words sent in an email.  

Simple.  

Empowering.

This isn't a few words on 'self-care'.

This is just a simple quiet moment recognizing that maybe it's not that simple.

Maybe, 
a few more intimate conversations with people who want to hold you.
a few more lonely days working through the pain.
a few more empty conversations of meaningless pleasantries.
a few more journal entries.
a few more deep breathes.
a few more rallying nights wrestling with deep thoughts.

To get to where you need to be.

To do what you need to do.

To say what you need to say.

To be who you need to become.

because the simple truth has always been:

Everything within it's own time.
 

A very small market haul in May.  A flat of eggs, jar of honey & sausages.

For anyone who knows us well, they know we adore going to the Seaport Farmers Market as much as we can.  Normally, this looks like every second weekend, but not always can we make it that often. 

Why do we love it?

It's local.

Their are many markets in HRM.  For us, the Seaport Market became a habit, and we love knowing we are buying from local vendors to improve our own local economy.  It means we have a relationship with the woman who sells us our eggs and we know that guy who sells Susie's Cupcakes (a local bakery)  while we drool over them every time. 

It's culture

We are exposed to the many cultures our port city is blessed to have within it's core.  The German bakers, the asian cuisine and the Indian spices are just a few.  Mixed with that all to well known maritime food and music. 

It's fresh

Knowing I am buying from farms that bring their produce in from various places over Nova Scotia gives me a peace of mind and also an amazement over how differently they taste in comparison with the grocery stores imports.  Even something as simple as an egg from a local free range farm tastes completely different than from super store. 

It's community

Even though many of the people we knew who lived in the downtown core have since moved away , we still find it amazing the people from our lives we bump into.  The market has a way of creating enjoyment for everyone's tastes buds and ultimately, I love how connected I feel to my city every time we go. 

VARIOUS CAPTURES at the Market.

Very much pregnant. 

Winter/Spring Haul 2017

Winter 2017

No one tells you that the older you get the more you love yourself and the better life can be. Sure, there are always battles, trials and heavy situations to journey... but just having the opportunity to wake up and inhale a new day and get at life is an incredible honour. To live and breathe in fresh air is the biggest gift. 

If anything, I am journeying this last year in my twenties with a deeper sense of awareness of how much I have changed and become since turning 20. Amy then in many ways is foreign to me, and yet, the Amy now still has that core within her. I am still addicted to stories, musicals, raw emotional music and driving solo with the windows down and the volume turned on the loudest notch. I still dance and organize every inch of my life. 

Yet. 

I have shifted and learned more about what it means to be Amy. All of her. As she is. Without approval, affection, adoration. 

I have learned what it’s like to walk alone and yet not feel alone. I have learned to breathe and I have learned what my middle name really and truly means.  

Here’s to this last year of my twenties and whatever else they have left for me. 

Three Years.

For three years Zoë has been changing the atmosphere around her and it was this past year that she took her expression and communication to the next level.  One day she was saying only a handful of words and still in diapers and the next she was retelling stories with description and using the bathroom like it was no big deal.  

As a parent each of these stages can feel like a lifetime.  Patiently being there for a little spirit with the right balance of encouragement, comfort, presence and peace.

We have always sensed that she held a lot inside and processed internally.  It wasn't until this year that we were able to truly see how beautiful it all was.  Zoë's ability to connect deeply with the world around her goes into a place that humbles me.

She is the spirit that deeply sees.

She is the spirit that deeply hears.

She is the spirit that deeply feels.

I am not sure what this all means as she grows, but what I do know it means in part, is that as parents Jeremy and I are called to be more vigilant with our actions and communication with each other and the world around us.  

To model what it means to feel all emotions with acceptance, presence and the knowledge that to live a deep and whole life, one must accept every layer of emotion.

Sometimes, I want to be selfish, have my own pity party and temper tantrum.  Believe you and me...there are days that I have a bubbling up of emotions that need to be dealt with and yet that is where she teaches me.  Her presence is teaching me that I cannot just let my own emotions and issues bubble over onto her, for that would do more harm than good, but that I seek a healthy and true processing release that allows her to witness these emotions in ways that models to her it is okay.

It is okay to be sad.

It is okay to be confused.

It is okay to be angry.

It is okay to be hurt.

It's how we process them, feel them, act on them and experience them within our lives and project them out to others that matters.

In our home I have put words on a wall, tucked quietly beside a light switch a reminder for us and anyone else who feels deeply.

"We have room for all of your emotions here."

I want that to be true for my daughter as she grows.  That her home is her safe place.  That her parents are people who feel lot's of things and who are not scared to process and journey through those feelings.

Three years seems like such a short time, but in three years, she has taught me more about how I express myself than any of the twenty-six years before.