Recently a handful of my laptop keys stopped working on my 2017 MacBook Pro.

This would be the second time that important keys have stopped working and the second time that the whole keyboard has been replaced.

Thankfully we have found a way to take care of this, and it hasn’t impeded my life as much as it could have.

That being said,

All the creatives in the house know-how jarring it can be when that one tool breaks or that one time you had set aside for your craft is hindered by something.

Angst. Panic, and perhaps some swear words.

This is life.

When best-laid plans for a moment in time are interrupted by something, someone or some force.

How can the creative person move past this and make it work to their benefit?

UNPLUG

If you use technology as your craft and are forced to put the most essential tools in the shop or wait for replacements, let your clients and colleagues know the time frame of your absence while you wait, what you will be working on in the meantime and unplug.

There is nothing more freeing than not seeing every new event, opportunity, pop culture update, text, email etc.

A creative mind is renewed by the silence and space of a day uninterrupted by other alerts.

PROFESSIONAL DEVELOPMENT

Don’t overthink this. It doesn’t need to be high brow or anything overt. For me, it can be as simple as watching a documentary, listening to a podcast, playing around with my camera or reading good fiction.

WALK

When last forced to go without my laptop (you’d be surprised how much of my professional and personal life exists on it), my almost daily walk was chock-full of ideas for new and continued projects. Walks and showers are where I find my clear thoughts, but this was different. This was with the peace knowing I couldn’t immediately do anything about these ideas and possible work moves once I arrived home.

SHARE

Know who your creative support is and have a good catch-up on allllll those feels. As much as we’d like to think that everyone has it all together, knowing exactly what they are doing at all hours of the day and year. They don’t. They are just as clueless, frustrated and questioning themselves from time to time as you.

And lastly,

Give yourself a pat on the back.

Your creativity is already in who you are.

You are enough.

You bring more than enough to the table

and sometimes

an exhale, followed by an inhale

even if forced

is the exact right thing before you break a new wave onto the shore.

This season I invested in a camera.

With the help of a colleague, I settled on the Canon E0S to replace my second-hand Sony A7, which, let's be honest, was frustrating at best.

Although I still would like to get my hands on a few more elements for this sweet babe, an attachable microphone and a macro lens, to name a few, I am delighted with this compact and portable camera.

With this, I am not seeking to become the world's best cinematographer or photographer, but that I can practice capturing moments in a way that elevates my projects and my own understanding of storytelling.
I can see it would be advantageous if I made a creative challenge in 2022 to keep me learning the craft and what it can do.

I have a few ideas for something concise and fun I can do.

We shall see what 2022 leads us to.

I often say:

I have many projects up my sleeve.

It’s true.

At any given moment, I am shuffling between a handful of projects.

Not counting the many I have tidied up and shelved or as I like to think about the ‘they are on the back burner simmering.’
I had heard that this was a thing, but I hadn’t truly figured out how to embrace it until I realized I was doing it.

For any writer who dabbles in more than just one medium and one main project, there are many projects in various states.

Some are whims that grow long legs and start running off without me leaving me winded trying to keep up.

These are the ones you often end up seeing relatively as quick as they arrive into existence.
They are concise and already complete ideas that had been quietly processed for a long time without knowing it. Upon arrival, they land all ready to go and quickly set off.
These are fun, quick and often light-hearted meaningful ones.
Some are deep questions of the soul that slowly emerge and grow, allowing me to work on it over a long period.
These are the therapy-like ones where I often find myself weeping over them in both joy and sorrow. They are my teachers, and sometimes I think they exist for only just that, although don’t tell them I said that, for they would be sorely wounded and make a fuss.
Some are riveting and full worlds that grow legs and start running but are not marathoners and not yet sure about which way they are going.
These are the long-suffering heartbeat ones where I tend to overtime and keep hoping they will reveal something in which I may leverage it better.

No matter which one they tend to be, they exist and are in constant motion around and within me.

Projects, stories, concepts, documentaries, commentaries, essays, plays, they whir around me speaking about themselves and keeping them in their place is a bit of a job. I often find that I do more organizing of them than I’d like.

I tell them to sit still, and I’ll be back just as soon as I finish this application- and sure enough, one of them has wriggled free and having a complete meltdown because I hadn’t added this new revelation stumbled upon only yesterday.
Impatient toddlers, they all seem to me at times.

Yet,

this is the way of a writer of many mediums.

Sorting through the projects, adding a little bit here, a little bit there, sending one-off here and one-off there and realizing that one really does need a new wardrobe if it’s really to be taken out in public.

However you see your writing life and your ways of going about it all, I hope you see it.

It is a great and beautiful world full of emotions that I’d like to think we writers are the only ones who can honestly know it.

at my desk ‘21.

Maintaining motivation and energy for showing up to various ideas, projects, applications, and pitches does not happen without game planning.

In truth, it requires a hefty amount of margin in life to work through the bull shit that gets thrown ones way.

Expectations of oneself, from others and those bred through any industry create a complex air space for the creative mind.

What I have and continue to learn to put into practice is the art of finding fun amidst the chaos.

Protect your favourite work and create times.

For me, this is from 6am until about 1-2pm for administrative, editing, hard thinking work. This is where the craft is honed. For the creative side, I work best from 6pm - 10pm, as long as I've kept my day calm, paced out with not much going on. My energy builds up over the day, and everything pours out naturally.

I have learned that I become highly resentful when I cannot honour these times.

Find and cultivate a handful of routines that works for you.

I have learned that I work best breaking it up into four sections of four hours each on days that need the most structure (mostly Monday - Thursday). 6am-10am desk work, 10am-2pm exercise & shower etc. These sections can change in their intention but help me stay on task. Four hours of hard concentration can produce higher quality work than picking at something over a whole day.

That being said, I have also learned that there are days when I need to spread out the work for personal reasons (possibly having a child homesick that I need to attend to or, knowing that if I spread out editing, for example, I will see things with a clearer mind). On days like this, I usually lay out my tasks at my desk and on my laptop with a book or list of other things I can do in-between and allow myself to work through these things as I go about my day. In my head, this form of work and living is called "Creative Rounds."

Keep track of your musings, quotes, ideas, anything that inspires you.

Always have a notebook or list on your phone that you write things in. It sounds cliché or just plain obvious, but the truth is, inspiration hits at the oddest times, and I am learning to never discount a tiny small revelation. They can be the thread that leads to something bigger.

Don't judge your ideas.

You don't have to have it all sorted in your head at first. Odds are, if you have an idea, someone else would like that idea too. Let yourself mull it over, write about it, try it out. Over time it will form itself into something tangible.

Be okay having many projects/stories in various stages.

I was asked how many projects I have on the go or at least in fuller states in files. I was surprised to realize the number was higher than just a handful. In fact, if I was even more honest, I probably have about 15-20 well-thought ideas sitting around. That can seem daunting, lazy or even shocking, but the truth is, everything has its purpose and time. Some projects occur to teach you something, some occur to hone a craft, and others arise waiting for just the right moment and pop out and say, "Hey, it's time." let's do this.

Get comfortable revisiting your various ideas and projects every season and year to see which one needs to see more light or have more tended to.

The best books, movies, television series often have taken decades to make.

Find the incentive/challenge.

I am the queen of making a new game out of a goal. Games are best played if you want to play them. Find a goal that excites you, feels reasonable and has some challenge to it. If it excites you.

For me, this is Pitching / Applying once a month. This equals a total of twelve pitches/applications a year. In truth, this seems small to me. But in actuality, it pushes me to stay attentive, finding the next suitable opportunity, the next proper challenge and the next right exciting thing.

Treat Yourself

Always treat yourself. I have champagne in the house reserved for when I sell an idea or get a contract. Every time I get an agreement, we pop the champagne. I intentionally invest back into my business and work once a season (outside of memberships and maintenance purchases). One of those purchases this year was a screenwriting software of higher quality than the one I was using. This past season, it was a camera.

The truth is, the wind is not always going to be in your sails at any given moment, but how we position ourselves when it isn't is how successful we will be when it does hit.

Harness what works for you.

And celebrate the wins along the way.

Over the Summer, I worked alongside CBC Producer Natalie Dobbin and my good friend from high school playwright, director and writer Megan Piercey Monafu to create a three-episode series that discusses the mementos we make and carry with us.

This series is the outcome of what happens when you sit down with a good best friend from your past over video chat, catch up and discuss what is going on in each other's lives. It led us to reflect on the notes we have kept and created conversations that morphed into this beautiful three-episode series featuring not just ourselves but two other smart, intelligent, and deep women.

What We Carry With Us

Episode 1.

Episode 2.

Over the Summer, I worked alongside CBC Producer Natalie Dobbin and my good friend from high school playwright, director and writer Megan Piercey Monafu to create a three-episode series that discusses the mementos we make and carry with us.

This series is the outcome of what happens when you sit down with a good best friend from your past over video chat, catch up and discuss what is going on in each other's lives. It led us to reflect on the notes we have kept and created conversations that morphed into this beautiful three-episode series featuring not just ourselves but two other smart, intelligent, and deep women.

What We Carry With Us

Episode 1.

Earlier this year I had a scene flash before my eyes.

It’s a famous scene. From a film called “Field of Dreams”.
In all honesty, it’s not a favourite film of mine.
For a myriad reasons and mostly because baseball and I have a heart breaking personal history.

But it’s this “Build it and they will come” concept.
The idea that to see a dream fulfilled, you need to build the space for it to be before it can live.

When this scene flashed in my minds eye, I was facing many decisions that I had the ability to make, but also felt overwhelmed at the making of them.

I felt selfish.
Who am I?
To act like I could have this?

So I pondered staying in that space, not having, not requesting, not working towards and not putting into motion.

And then that scene.

Of needing to make the investment before expecting the vision to occur.

This is where I am.

I have the vision and I am in a season of pulling triggers, setting the stage and expecting.

Expectation is an otherworldly sentiment that us adults find a way to work out of our systems.

We remind ourselves of the letdowns, the reality, the way things usually turn out, our personal limitations and we decide at some point, that expectations are not safe.

But they can be the ingredient we have been missing.

So,

I’m pulling triggers.

Investing in the visions and believing that the gift of a dream is the journey in creating it.

And you?

What triggers do you need pull?

Are their dreams that you have been sitting on and have been questioning wether you are worthy enough?

Because if you are, you are already exactly who you need to be to start putting your dreams in motion.

I adore the way Autumn arrives in Nova Scotia.

It is not an abrupt overnight happening but a slow and mindful appearance. A leaf here, a leaf there. Nights that end just a titch cooler than before, until….the evening's air kiss assures you that sweaters and thick blankets must be pulled out again.

The sun looks different in Autumn. It has a more warm gold hue when it dances on the walls. It doesn't burn, but it reminds you that it's still here. Still shining, despite the darkness that is creating shorter days.

With the arrival of Autumn and the 'back to school routine, I am rejoicing.

It means a recentering of my mind and spirit into work that I have been digging into.

Yes, there are the distractions of both good and practical things.

Friends visiting, approaching thanksgiving, and the Christmas season. Not to mention Halloween, extracurricular classes for the little, a pandemic to watch, and home projects before the winter months.

But there is also open space.

If I allow it.

Protect it.

Space to develop my filmmaking skills on a personal level with a new camera. Freedom to collaborate with a corporation I have been loving working with. Space to spin tales in the dark evenings, reflect on the year on weekend walks. Space to putter around the house while putting to order the project decisions I am being faced with.

The space is there.

But, it's genuinely, honestly, and quite realistically up to me to protect it.

There will always be someone who lays an expectation down at your feet. A circumstance to attend to, a phone call to answer, a text to reply, day to schedule, medical appointment to show up to, a chore to complete.

And the beautiful and often anxious-inducing truth is that you get to take a deep breath and decide what needs to get attended to and what is not going to serve you in the things you have to show up for.

This is an exercise in trust that there is just enough time for the things you are called for today. And for what you need to let go of in the process...there is grace for that too.

Touch the ground in the business of Autumn and say “There there, there is space and grace for you to do what you are called for in this season.”

Over the summer I have been breaking a pilot episode of a new series.

The process has been equally grueling and surprising.

What started out as a simple limited series single character scope has turned into a dark and twisty tale with hooks and cliffhangers I never saw coming.

Personally, I’d like to blame my best friend.
She dangled an observation in front of me one night that had me reeling.

In fact, it had me reeling so much that the story took a 180-degree turn and has me going in a totally different direction with it.

What happens when everything you thought wasn’t what you thought at all?

A story for the ages and a story that may in fact rock my perspective for years to come.

For these write nights this coming season, I will be lighting a ‘candle’, pouring red, and letting a playlist move me into this tale.
Sometimes I may need to work from the couch, other nights I may need the privacy of my own writing room, either way…

it’s a delicious and equally nerve-wracking journey into a tale I was not expecting on weaving.

I found a leaf on the ground that had fallen last week. Red, bold and proud. It was the first of its kind in the path I had chosen.

It was brilliant, daring and a warning sign.

Autumn is coming.

A shiver went up my arms as I let it go and continued on my way.

This is the way Septembers often hit me.

A brilliant bright small sign that the ground is shifting, preparing and reading itself for a different type of growth.

Much happens beneath the soil after leaves have fallen. Healing, preparation and recovery occurs. Observations and space is made for the next round of growth.

This September I have been preparing space in my life, at my desk and in my soul for a new kind of work and lifestyle.

Space for creative exploration in dance, doodles and in the quiet moments of creating a life with the space I inhabit.

Space for intentional project development.

Working carefully on many smaller projects over the year has taught me that intentional meaningful work can happen when it is given the care, thought and space for discernment it needs.

I have been lit up like a candle with what it means to create connection, conversation, insight and moments for learning in the work I create and I am ready for more.

It’s easy to skim over our whims, ideas and passing thoughts, but there is something precious in the careful and slow honing in on what won’t leave the heart, mind and soul.

In many ways I am speeding up. Grabbing my seat belt and rushing to click it in place before everything starts revving up around me.

Yet,

Something I am learning is that when things are picking up pace,

that is the exact time to put ones hand on ones heart, plant one’s feet to the ground and close ones eyes to keep pace with the rhythm of what it means to be human.

I am not a machine.

I am a person.

I will stay grounded as I create, connect and commune.

I will stay paced with my heart beat despite the rush of life that is bound to create beauty and chaos around me.

I will dig my feet into the ground and stay true.

And I will dig deep into every moment.

In no specific order:

Anne Lamott

Anne has this raw, real and compassionate way of putting words down for the reader to rest in. She has written books for writers and has also written books on all sorts of aspects of life.

12 Truths I learned from Life and Writing - Ted Talk

Books

Maya Angelou

Maya, although passed has words that echos beyond her lifetime. I read her book “I Know Why the Cagebird Sings” at a young age. Somewhere between the ages of 14-16 and I remember clearly how it changed my perspectives of the stories of others. After that I remembered to listen deeply whenever she appeared on the Oprah show or else where in the world.

Super Soul Sunday - Interview

I Know Why the Cagebird Sings - Book

Morgan Harper Nicols

Morgan’s words caught my attention years ago. Somewhere online, most likely on Pinterest I was saving her words as reminders during the darker times.

Art, Creativity & the Viral Poem - Interview

All Along You Were Blooming - Book

Mari Madrid

Mari and her husband dance. They dance differently than others. They create pieces that wreck me from the inside out in the best of ways.

She (freestyle) - Dance

Ethan Hawke

Ethan has been on his own personal creative journey for years and the maturity, growth and depth of creative insight that he speaks is something I greatly admire, want to hold onto and remember. He is also very clear in his reasons for focuses on what inspires him, rather than the ‘next shiny thing’ and all the struggles of personal thoughts that come with that.

Give Yourself Permission to Be Creative - Ted Talk

Don’t Fear the Struggle - Interview

Kalyn Nicholson

A Canadian Vlogger who has worked hard to create her own brand, community and content online while also finding ways to pivot and become more real, authentic and challenge herself to stay true to where she is at in the moment. I appreciate the shifts she allows herself to take and the documenting fun she still finds along the way.

Vlogs - Youtube

Amy Sherman Pallidino

Amy (along with her writing partner & husband Daniel) has delivered two shows that are beloved to me. Gilmore Girls & The Marvellous Mrs.Maisel. Amy is a vibrant style focused writer who has her own voice and style that creates multi-dimensional characters, worlds that are fun and finds ways to honour herself in the industry.

Don’t Be Afraid to Be Fired! - Interview

Comedy is Headed to a Very Dangerous Place - RoundTable

Brene Brown

Brene is by far one of the most impactful writers and researchers of our time. This woman takes all the aspects of what it means to be a human and helps breaks it down to show us how we can develop a healthier relationship with ourselves and with others.

The Power of Vulnerability - Brene Brown

Shame is Lethal - Interview

Jonna Jinton

This Scandinavian woman caught my eye a couple of years ago and I am just in awe of her creativity, spirit and ability to press on and find ways to honour herself and her work.

Vidoes - Youtube

The Life of an Artist - Vlog

Have you ever considered that the best of you has yet to be discovered?

We like to think that we can dress ourselves up with our experiences, education and accolades.

That who we are is the sum of our success and ability to dust ourselves off after a string of errors and mischief.

That we possibly can just forge ahead and put the mess of our past behind us.

No burial service, no atonement, no rectification.

Just walking away from the mess and letting the scabs form where they are as we stagger on.

If this is you dear one, then I must urge you… sit down. You are leaving bodies in your wake, and the next one might be yours.

Here’s the thing,

We humans have so much to learn from the digging into our failures, our past and our wounds.

We will repeat what we don’t heal and we will find a new way to ripple affect the damage we haven’t dealt with.

Success is not how many times you are able to walk away from failure and press on.

Success is found within the healing process. How deep you go to find the cause of the wounds of your past and how you carve out time and space for new and more healing ways to continue on.

We like to act like we are above brokenness. That our ability to damage ourselves and others along the way by our own inability to see the next bump in the road is just a simple accident, but the truth is,

without your own self reflection, healing and ability to see that you are just as faulty as the next broken and lonely soul…

you will always pass judgement and assume to know the depths of another person’s pain.

You will continue to walk away from the messes you make, shrug your shoulders and suggest that there is nothing more you can do.

But there is.

Always.

More healing to be found in the cracks of you.

And maybe,

just maybe,

working on healing your own broken pieces will create the safe place for new healing somewhere else instead of the shards you leave in your wake that people will walk on.

In the creative industries, I would argue, there is a game we like to play in the grand scheme of life where we make assessments, judgments, and calls to figure out where we land amongst the others.

It happens quietly.

It happens in the moments of scrolling, connecting, colliding, watching…

It happens so quickly that we are not aware of how firmly it is embedded into our thinking.

Recently I have been trying to unearth the roots of comparison from my life.

I would like to say that I am good at it.

Good at keeping my eyes in my own lane and appreciating the lanes of others without the twinge, the raise of heartbeat and the critical disdain.

But that would be a lie.

I am human.

We are all apt to want to join the game that has been lain out for us.

Pick up your token and roll the dice. See where you land.

I’m throwing the dice in the trash.

I’m playing a different game.

I’m playing a game that only I can play. I am the only me on this board, and I can only truly battle with my own inner demons.

Industries, society, cultures will all have their norms, their way of life and rule book.

I just happen to be a bit of a maverick, and I think that’s okay.

I think it’s okay to come into your work and life recognizing that your calling may not be aligning with everyone else. It might be okay that you come into your position with a different background, different passion and angle.

Sure,

I’d love to be the next Elizabeth Gilbert, Glennon Doyle or even...Maya Angelou… but the truth is. I’m not.

I’m Amy Grace, born, raised and deeply anchored in Halifax, Nova Scotia. I think deeply and see movies and words in my head. I arrive at storytelling and writing with the angle of a trained interpreter with a passion for communication and psychology. I spend a lot of my time shooting the breeze with my closest people, listening to podcasts, stopping at random to lay on the floor and cuddle and wrestle my daughter. I get ideas in the shower or while I am moving my body in cardio or dance. I write them down with either water or sweat dripping down my face. I value quality time with others and would always prefer to either being quietly reflecting or deeply discussing.

I feel deeply called to develop projects that move people. Make people think, ponder and mull over things in their heads.

Sometimes this means…I create less than I want to. Other times this means I am neck deep in ideas, projects and meetings I don’t know what to do with myself.

But the point of this is.

I cannot and should not be the next Shonda Rhimes, Marie Forleo, Sarah Polley or Chriselle Lim.

What I can do,

is be me.

Who are you?

What are you about?

What is that thing that makes you arresting to yourself and those around you?

Because you are. You make me weak in the knees when you show up as yourself.

I want more of you.

All of you.

We all do.

Despite the games we all habitually find ourselves playing from time to time, we are all our best and highest selves when playing for ourselves and ultimately the One who gave us all these thoughts, ideas and dreams to begin with..

recording session for a CBC radio series.

Any podcaster knows the complexities of recording in-house, but I have done a healthy amount of recording, for podcasts, radio etc not needing to handle my own equipment or even handle all the ins and outs of setup.

Until now.

There is nothing like a pandemic to force one to get over their fear of tech, muddle through the necessities and learn a thing or two along the way.

Thankfully, being married to an electrical engineer, I have the advantage of in-house tech support. If everything goes ‘to hell in a hand-basket’ so to speak, I can yell bloody murder from my office and he will trundle in, all nonchalant, while sorting through the latest glitch.

Things I Have Learned

Stuff yourself into a closet (it’s a plus if you have a walk-in)

In our new home, every room as an echo.
Mostly due to being slow to add pictures or rugs to rooms. I like taking my time with decor.

No matter how hard you try, a lawnmower is still a lawnmower.

Wait until all lawnmowers have retreated for the day…or at least rush in quickly and record.
Don’t get me started on this one. It’s not always easy to schedule a peaceful time to record, but you just have to adjust accordingly.

Plan interviews but leave room for spontaneity.

I get self conscious about my own physical voice in any project. It’s so much easier for me to build a spotlight and narrative around others, but lately my work has been more personal, leaving me little room to escape my own voice. Remembering that I can also follow an interesting lead in thought and question while trying to honour the project anchor points is a helpful way to stay loose.
It’s okay to go off book sometimes.

Don’t review material on the same day. Even if you have access to it.

This is something I have learned over a long time of doing interviews / recording film.
As exciting as it is to look over the material that same day, (not all projects is this possible, but for my work, it mostly has been) try to give yourself a day’s breather before reviewing the recordings. Space away from the experience will help you hear things you wouldn’t hear the day of.

feed·back| ˈfēdˌbak | noun 1 information about reactions to a product, a person's performance of a task, etc. which is used as a basis for improvement: throughout this process we have obtained valuable feedback | customer feedback suggested that the design flaws were severe.

Feedback

is a term toted as a necessary and valuable component to creating and developing high-quality work for those in professional and creative industries. This tool is practiced in the education system and is often brought into the assignment process. Learning how to give and receive feedback is of high value to the work and the individual who grows through the work they produce.

There is also a dark side to this.

Something I believe that many of us would prefer not to look at. To look at it means that we might have to re-evaluate the foundations of our own emerging professional selves and those around us.

Let's break it down:

When we enforce the concept of giving and receiving feedback as necessary in all components, we assume that you must share your own opinion/perspective with every opportunity, despite the value of what you are adding to the work or the conversation. We are also assuming that voicing your view is needed and always helpful to the 'work.'

Here is something groundbreaking:

Not every perspective, thought, feeling, and idea that you may have is what a person or project needs to grow and create better work.

In fact, the one thing that a person believes is essential might be the one thing that tanks a project.

Things Said in Toxic Feedback Process / Structure

To be here and do this, you need to grow thick/thicker skin

The belief that a person needs to have a tough exterior to craft high-quality work breeds an atmosphere of individuals who are not in touch with themselves or their emotions. Asking your students/employees/co-workers to have thicker skin is antiquated and a form of emotional harassment. No amount of squashing down one's feelings will produce better work in the long run. The focus should be on cultivating an awareness of one's strengths and weaknesses to harness the best possible outcome. Tenderness and emotional awareness is a strength and an asset to any work/project.

I'm going to give you a shit sandwich. (a.k.a. Two goods, one bad about your work.)

This one was introduced to me in my interpreting days. Just the phrase alone speaks of an easily manipulated intention. It immediately projects that 'something you did is shit.' It introduces a shame element before the feedback has been delivered. Although this phrase can be used as a quirky, light-hearted way to joke about how one would like to hear their feedback, honouring this phrase assumes that anyone has two valuable positive things to say and one useful negative thing to say. Great feedback is about insight, discernment and questions. If you have just one question and nothing else, that should be enough.

In any given circumstance, less is always more.

Look to the left and to the right. The people beside you won't be there once this is over.

Although not related to feedback, this phrase is often used in educational settings (engineering, interpreting, med students, etc.) to project fear, seriousness, and the privilege of sitting in the seat. This statement is the foundation for the competition, harassment etc., that can arise in toxic feedback. When we introduce this atmosphere to our learning settings, we immediately tell those sitting that they are worthless. Those individuals will project that to their peers in both intentional and unintentional ways.

We are going to tear you down, and you will be a completely new person after this.

Another foundational statement in the early days of professional education that many professions espouse in first/second-year students. It suggests that no one is worthy and that the only way to be respected is to be initiated in this impossible next (insert number of years ). Only if you survive the following number of years will you be considered one of the privileged and enlightened few. It's no wonder that workplace harassment and bullying exist when these are the foundational phrases subconsciously developed. I have had calls from people who have dropped out of their educational journey for various reasons, and the one thing they struggle to shake is that feeling of inferiority. But the truth is, staying in an atmosphere where you are encouraged to loose yourself and compete to be seen can be more damaging than finishing the journey.

In every feedback moment, you need to make sure to give one negative and one positive statement.

Similar to the shit sandwich approach, assuming that practicing this with every interaction breeds the idea that one must have something to say at any given moment. This means that people believe they must share their thoughts and opinions despite how thought out they may or may not be. How does this create excellent work?

What's the damage here?

We miss the mark. We are human. The idea that feedback is flawless in any setting is foolish. We all will bring our own toxic beliefs to the table and, unfortunately, put our foot in it, hurt someone unintentionally, abuse power through language and make ourselves feel better by telling ourselves that they 'really needed to hear that.

BUT,

the real and actual damage is if we continue this narrative intentionally.

Genuine feedback can be the most impactful and life-altering element of collaboration.

When we focus on honouring each other while making the work better, we take our egos out of our back pockets to safely keep them and set them aside to understand that the bigger picture is something we should make space for.

Brene Brown's words echo in my mind as I attempt to sum this up

"You're ready to give feedback when you're ready to sit next to the person, not across from them. You're ready to put the problem, not between you, but in front of both of you."

"Feedback should be as vulnerable for the person giving it as the person receiving it," Brown said. "You should have no idea what's gonna go down in that room."

For further reading on healthy feedback, Brene Brown provides this guide that truly hits a mark that so many of us have not been taught or encouraged in.

The engaged feedback checklist

For the past two years, I have been an executive board member of Women in Film and Television Atlantic. A board who has collectively, and tirelessly done their best to move the needle for women in film and television in our Atlantic provinces.

I am a proud board member and member of this organization.

As the end of my term approached and I realized I needed to take a step back in order to focus on other work I have reflected on what the time on this board has afforded me.

Take Aways

You Get What You Put In

When Kim McTaggart encouraged me to officially join the board she said over the phone “this is a role you get what you put in. It’s up to you the amount of work you want this to be.” That phrase not only had me instantly wanting to join, but I have carried it with me in all future situations since 2019.

It’s Okay to Listen First and Act Second

Although when new on a board you may be tempted to jump in and assert yourself. it is also helpful to take inventory of the atmosphere that is already present, discern where you best can contribute and find ways that you can bring something to the table.

You at the Table Has Value

It was easy to look at the women around me and be a bit flummoxed about how I ended up sitting with them. I can say without a shadow of a doubt that being on the board of WIFT-AT has not only brought me closer to the industry I have been working to grow in, but closer to myself. I have witnessed what I bring to the table in a fresh way, and I have also realized when I have over-shot. That’s a huge skill to see.

No One is Above Anyone Else

When we view one as bigger or louder than another, we limit the world we create. I felt valued by my board members both seasoned in their work and new.

I am not done volunteering, but now from a different seat.

Thank-you WIFT-AT for being a welcoming place for me to grow and embrace my professional voice.

Creativity is a lot like a path in the wilderness.

It leads into a dark and winding brush full of unknown twists and turns.

It weaves through thick weeds, roots of trees that bump up almost on purpose beneath your foot tread, ready to trip you up and throw you flat on your face into the dense leaves.

It winds through thickets of doubts and fears.

It unravels like never ending questions, thoughts and ideas.

It reveals a trail of intrigue, curiosity and mystery.

It turns like quick u-turns and slow meandering loop de loops.

And sometimes,

It leaves you breathless, enraptured and full of endless wonder.

If there was one thing I would want to remind you of, and remind myself of at the same time…

There is no telling where creativity leads…and that is the whole point.

You follow the path not because it’s supposed to be marvellous, but because the option not to seems more daunting than the former.

Embrace the journey.

Follow the leads.

When June arrives, it always has a way of shocking me.

“June? Already?” I think like clockwork every June 1st.

With just under six months of putting the concept of ‘Flow’ at work in both the personal and professional I have had a few revelations, some struggles and some meditative thoughts sprinkled in.

Flow has eased into my thinking

and attempted at reminding my busy mind to let what is happening ‘happen’. It has also challenged me to tune in to the chaos and distractions that abide and find new ways to navigate through them.

There will always be a family crisis, a pressing social engagement, a work deadline, a chore, a medical / personal appointment, etc to tend to.

There is also S P A C E to flow through these things, if we but let it.

Part of it, is giving ourselves permission not to be rushed by our own expectations and those of others.

I see it in how we are approaching Summer this year.

Summer’s are usually stuffed with people ‘coming back home’ for visits, special events, road trips, and networking events.

Despite the pandemic, this year looks very much the same as most.

‘Back home visits’, special events, road trips and networking events...you name it.

Depending on who you are in the work you do, depends on the amount of days in a summer you can take off.
For an Electrical Engineer who specializes in oceanography equipment and a writer / producer in the film and television industries…our prime output times are in the warmer months of the year.

Ya’ll, there are only eight weekends in summer the ‘official summer break’ calendar, yet we act like it’s a four month occasion with no work deadlines, medical appointments, home projects mixed in.
That’s about sixteen days to attend to all of those needs without taking time off work.
That could seem like a lot, but in reality.. it goes by like a flash.

But this year…

Although we are honouring the special events of our own, the need to refresh our souls by the ocean and re-connect with our peers after almost 2 years of constant distance, we are letting ‘flow’ rule our calendar.

Setting down the plan book, the dates, the constant need to fit in ‘just one more visit’, and seeing what happens in the beauty of one day and one week at a time.

Having the the space enough to ask ourselves, ‘what do we need this weekend? How can we show up for what we have to do, what we need to do and also what we can do?

Although we may not always be able to have the weekend / summer schedule that we would wish, letting our personal family unit’s flow dictate the schedule and not the surrounding pressure of ‘summertime’ madness is one way we are learning from embracing what it means to honour momentum of now.

This year I was privileged to join Lynn Matheson with a project in development stage to Cynthia Knights five day crash course on creating a pitch document and a stellar logline through the PEI Screenwriters Bootcamp.

Both Lynn and I were tipped upside down with the approach Cynthia uses to the early development stages of a project.

In many ways, the information wasn’t new, and yet, that back to the basics approach that Cynthia gave us was was a game changer.

The Takeaways

• Courses with a writing/creative partner are always more fun. (built in support system)

• Spending the time reworking and truly honing a logline is a key that seemingly fundamentally simple will unlock the real story.

• Never underestimate what is beneath your ideas. You have to mine for gold.

PSA

If you have’t heard Cynthia describe the goals and intention of a logline, I highly suggest you find a way to get it straight from her.

As I have been working this year on various projects, I have been reminded of this vital concept again and again.

Holding Space is an incredible act.

It takes more grace and humbling than one can genuinely wrap one's head around.

Even when I find myself saying, "ahh, there we are, we are doing it. I am sitting in this moment holding Space for this." I am highly aware of how it is attempting to slip and change through my fingers at any time. Our egos and sense of self-importance are at constant war with the act of holding Space.

I am not sure that I am excellent at it.

But I know that I can walk away from moments with an incredible sense of wonder when I attempt it.

"Wow…what was that?"

"What went on there?"

"Something just happened, and somehow we all survived."

If I could communicate anything through this incredibly abstract concept, is this:

Holding Space is simply that. You exist at the moment you are in, and you have that moment. You look around you, feel inward, and feel outward, but your output stops or is slowed.

Instead of worrying about what to say next, how to act, or how to be, or how to react at all, you get comfortable with what is happening in front of you.

Often times this is very apparent to me when it's obvious someone is spinning out emotionally.

And let me be clear,

I recognize this because I can be this.

It's easier to recognize something in someone else that we have already been or done.

Holding Space for someone who is not acting appropriately, not comprehending their own possibly toxic behaviour (my own included) is a way to honour the hurt that is occurring in front of you, but it is also honouring the 'you' inside. To hold Space means that you can see the depth and layers of it all and recognize that although you may have triggered something and have something to learn here, the behaviour isn't about or a reflection of you.

Holding Space is the practice of taking your own self-importance and placing it on the shelf to bear witness to what is happening.

Does it mean you let abuse occur?

No.

Does it mean you relinquish your own humanity and allow someone to treat you inappropriately?

No.

Does it mean you table your own healing to stay in the pit with someone else?

No.

It means holding Space for yourself first.

If you can learn to hold Space for yourself in a holistic way, you will hold Space for others.

Hold Space for what is still broken in you.

Hold Space for the learning you still have yet to learn.

Hold Space for the dreams you are dreaming.

Hold Space for the body that you are caring for.

Hold Space for the history that made you.

Hold Space for the healing that you are working on.

Hold Space for the you that is you.

When we do this, turning it outward and holding Space for others becomes not just something we can begin to understand but a practice that we can fully take on holistically and healthily.

We bear witness to the pain and life of others because we have first bared witness to our own.