‘a feared & misunderstood creature of high intelligence, fierce loyalty and deep compassion’.
Not one for jewelry unless it carries meaning.
so many reasons for this necklace but the main one?
I’m claiming new territory in my life & it takes every ounce of energy to remember that this territory is already mine.
I have the stories.
I have the words.
I have the fierce wisdom.
I have the compassionate discernment.
Onwards I go.
Earlier this year I had a scene flash before my eyes.
It’s a famous scene. From a film called “Field of Dreams”.
In all honesty, it’s not a favourite film of mine.
For a myriad reasons and mostly because baseball and I have a heart breaking personal history.
But it’s this “Build it and they will come” concept.
The idea that to see a dream fulfilled, you need to build the space for it to be before it can live.
When this scene flashed in my minds eye, I was facing many decisions that I had the ability to make, but also felt overwhelmed at the making of them.
I felt selfish.
Who am I?
To act like I could have this?
So I pondered staying in that space, not having, not requesting, not working towards and not putting into motion.
And then that scene.
Of needing to make the investment before expecting the vision to occur.
I have the vision and I am in a season of pulling triggers, setting the stage and expecting.
Expectation is an otherworldly sentiment that us adults find a way to work out of our systems.
We remind ourselves of the letdowns, the reality, the way things usually turn out, our personal limitations and we decide at some point, that expectations are not safe.
But they can be the ingredient we have been missing.
So,
Investing in the visions and believing that the gift of a dream is the journey in creating it.
What triggers do you need pull?
Are their dreams that you have been sitting on and have been questioning wether you are worthy enough?
Because if you are, you are already exactly who you need to be to start putting your dreams in motion.
A fun lighthearted vacation rom-com speed read of an owner of a dating app and a woman in her thirties trying hard not to look for love. It’s exactly what you think with a hint of something ‘sci fi’.
It’s a small but impactful read that blew me away. Originally I picked it up from the library, but I will be buying this to re-read over the years while raising my daughter.
A collection of Diana’s filler ‘buldges’ as she refers to them of various characters from the outlander series.
Morgan Harper is one of my most favorite writers today. She has found a creative way to use words and imagery to heal herself, others, and anyone that comes across her work.
This book blew my mind in so many ways. I first heard these sisters in an interview and was rocked by their work behind laying out the hormonal release that occurs in the body during stress. Their explanation of stress and how it manifests was in direct correlation with my personal experiences. I knew I had to read this book. After returning it to the library I still felt that I hadn’t had enough time with it. I will definitely be picking up a copy for my own future reference.
TV Series / Films of Note
Gilmore Girls S01 - Because when the air turns crisp, it’s time for coffee and the Gilmores.
Good on Paper - Because Iliza tells this story off and on, and it’s even wilder to take in as a film.
Ted Lasso S02 - Because Ted is everything good, healing, and warm that this world lacks, with a healthy dose of real trauma shown amidst the smiles.
It is not an abrupt overnight happening but a slow and mindful appearance. A leaf here, a leaf there. Nights that end just a titch cooler than before, until….the evening's air kiss assures you that sweaters and thick blankets must be pulled out again.
The sun looks different in Autumn. It has a more warm gold hue when it dances on the walls. It doesn't burn, but it reminds you that it's still here. Still shining, despite the darkness that is creating shorter days.
With the arrival of Autumn and the 'back to school routine, I am rejoicing.
It means a recentering of my mind and spirit into work that I have been digging into.
Yes, there are the distractions of both good and practical things.
Friends visiting, approaching thanksgiving, and the Christmas season. Not to mention Halloween, extracurricular classes for the little, a pandemic to watch, and home projects before the winter months.
If I allow it.
Protect it.
Space to develop my filmmaking skills on a personal level with a new camera. Freedom to collaborate with a corporation I have been loving working with. Space to spin tales in the dark evenings, reflect on the year on weekend walks. Space to putter around the house while putting to order the project decisions I am being faced with.
But, it's genuinely, honestly, and quite realistically up to me to protect it.
There will always be someone who lays an expectation down at your feet. A circumstance to attend to, a phone call to answer, a text to reply, day to schedule, medical appointment to show up to, a chore to complete.
And the beautiful and often anxious-inducing truth is that you get to take a deep breath and decide what needs to get attended to and what is not going to serve you in the things you have to show up for.
This is an exercise in trust that there is just enough time for the things you are called for today. And for what you need to let go of in the process...there is grace for that too.
Touch the ground in the business of Autumn and say “There there, there is space and grace for you to do what you are called for in this season.”
Considering my love for Figure Skating, I’m not sure why it took me this long to pick up roller skating. Albeit there is a learning curve to skating on wheels verses a blade, I am absolutely loving the challenge and getting such a joy out of these beautiful skates. During the pandemic I have missed skating on ice, which I am hoping to do more of this autumn/winter season, but knowing that I have a pair of rollers I can practice with during the winter months in my basement is giving me so much joy.
After celebrating our first honeymoon, baby moon, reunion after time apart, our 10th anniversary and booking yet another family at this resort it only made sense that we would bring home mugs to remind ourselves at our desks of the moments we continue to share as a family at this beautiful place. We are head over heels for the days we spend at this place.
I walked by this sweater on the outside sale rack and my heart instantly leapt. I rarely make impulse purchases, but when I do, it’s because something spoke to every part of me. This sweater sums me up in a nut shell.
This beautiful necklace came into my awareness through a best friend who has come to know my ins and outs sometimes even better than myself. I had been eyeing her necklaces for months wondering about them and their meaning. A simple shy question turned into a huge deep dive into the Pyrrha website and finding one that was symbolic to me. Heart of the Wolf is symbolic of all that has been misunderstood about my own intelligence over the years and how much I have stepped into my own confidence of who I am and that my own strength does not mean I loose any part of my deep compassion and tenderness for those around me. I love that Pyrrha is a sustainable Canadian company and that their foundations is that from collective inspiration.
Every summer an avid reader generally hopes to land a good ‘summer/beach read’. Malibu Rising delievers in every single way.
I thoroughly enjoy the descriptions of this novel along with the generational stories that get developed.
Over the summer I have been breaking a pilot episode of a new series.
The process has been equally grueling and surprising.
What started out as a simple limited series single character scope has turned into a dark and twisty tale with hooks and cliffhangers I never saw coming.
Personally, I’d like to blame my best friend.
She dangled an observation in front of me one night that had me reeling.
In fact, it had me reeling so much that the story took a 180-degree turn and has me going in a totally different direction with it.
A story for the ages and a story that may in fact rock my perspective for years to come.
For these write nights this coming season, I will be lighting a ‘candle’, pouring red, and letting a playlist move me into this tale.
Sometimes I may need to work from the couch, other nights I may need the privacy of my own writing room, either way…
it’s a delicious and equally nerve-wracking journey into a tale I was not expecting on weaving.
Centre - Clockwise: Elephant | Ikea, Snooze pyjamas | Joe Fresh, Explore Magazines | Kiwi Co, Sneakers | Softmoc, Blue Dress | Old Navy, Strawberry Dress | Second Hand find from Auntie Nicole, Brave sweater | H&M, Jean Shorts | Old Navy, Wild - T Shirt | Joe Fresh, Rainy Day Activity Book | Chapters, Colored Pencils | From various family members over the years, Bunny Sharperner | Easter Gift from Mimi, Eloise | Chapters, SwimSuit | H&M, Sandals | Joe Fresh
Having a slower start to the summer due to the whip lash from the third wave of the COVID-19 pandemic, it meant as a family we were still catching up with delayed spring celebrations and appointments during July. Yet, once August hit, not only was the weather full of sunshine, but also full of beautiful summer moments.
Elephant
On a whim when at IKEA without her in tow, we picked up this elephant and it absolutely made her day. We try our best not to clutter her life with toys that will become meaningless and opt to give her things through out the year she will need and keep the fun new toys for birthdays etc. But we are not above a rare whim purchase to surprise her with. Carefully placed on her bed to greet her when she arrived back home, this IKEA elephant was instantly named “Jhombo” and has become a staple in all of our lives.
Blue Dress
Purchased for a family photo shoot, this blue dress from Old Navy is the perfect staple for a young girl who loves dresses.
Sandals
Growing like a weed we opted to pick up a less expensive pair of sandals from Joe Fresh for her summer. They are practical, glittery and don’t break the bank.
Brave Sweater
This sweater was a great addition to her wardrobe and is the perfect warmth for cool days, yet also just as loose fitting and easy for warm days that start off chilly.
WILD Graphic T
Various Graphic T’s. Pictured here is one graphic t, but there are a handful (about 4) others that are standing strong, still in good shape and still fitting. (I assume they didn’t make it in this pic because they were in the wash rotation.)
Swim Suit
The swim suit pictured here had its unfortunate last few wears over the summer. It’s in great shape, but our little spirit is growing like a weed. Time for a new one.
Various Socks
Not pictured here are the multitude of socks that got worn out, out grown or just lost in the mayhem over the last season. Seen here are the replacements for what was a very dwindling sock collection.
I found a leaf on the ground that had fallen last week. Red, bold and proud. It was the first of its kind in the path I had chosen.
It was brilliant, daring and a warning sign.
Autumn is coming.
A shiver went up my arms as I let it go and continued on my way.
A brilliant bright small sign that the ground is shifting, preparing and reading itself for a different type of growth.
Much happens beneath the soil after leaves have fallen. Healing, preparation and recovery occurs. Observations and space is made for the next round of growth.
This September I have been preparing space in my life, at my desk and in my soul for a new kind of work and lifestyle.
Space for creative exploration in dance, doodles and in the quiet moments of creating a life with the space I inhabit.
Space for intentional project development.
Working carefully on many smaller projects over the year has taught me that intentional meaningful work can happen when it is given the care, thought and space for discernment it needs.
It’s easy to skim over our whims, ideas and passing thoughts, but there is something precious in the careful and slow honing in on what won’t leave the heart, mind and soul.
In many ways I am speeding up. Grabbing my seat belt and rushing to click it in place before everything starts revving up around me.
Yet,
Something I am learning is that when things are picking up pace,
that is the exact time to put ones hand on ones heart, plant one’s feet to the ground and close ones eyes to keep pace with the rhythm of what it means to be human.
I am not a machine.
I am a person.
I will stay grounded as I create, connect and commune.
I will stay paced with my heart beat despite the rush of life that is bound to create beauty and chaos around me.
I will dig my feet into the ground and stay true.
And I will dig deep into every moment.
Top Centre - Clockwise: Striped Dress | Banana Republic, Lover Sweater | Poppy & Olive, Loose stripped T-Shirt | The Gap, Blue Bikini | La Vie En Rose, Grey Romper | RW&Co, Starfish Keds | Softmoc, Coral T-Shirt Sweater | The Gap, Brown Purse | Modcloth, Malibu Rising | Chapters, Tkees Flip Flops | The Bay, Jean Shorts | The Gap, Pink / Cream Camis | Ambercrombie & Fitch, Perscription Sunglasses | All About Eyeware, Bridgerton | Amazon
Although this summer started out slow for us after a third lockdown pushing various spring events, our August was everything we needed it to be. Having time for a family vacation, celebrating 10 years married along with friends visiting and beach days, we are alight with what that rest that sank into our bones.
Lover Sweater
This sweater is extremely thick, high quality and just altogether beautiful. I have always loved the word ‘lover’. I think it captures something I hold deeply inside myself and it has a way of propelling me forward.
Bikini Swimsuit
After 6 years of beach and pool days my tankini swimsuit bit the dust this summer and I was forced to do the dreaded task of finding another suit that I would like. I loved how my other set hugged my body in all the right spots. This Bikini gives me the coverage I want while also adding more style to my summers.
Flip Flops
I have been in desperate need of a pair of flipflops and was thankful for my moms birthday gift in these.
Coral Sweater T-Shirt
I am a bit lacking in clear ‘shirt’ options for the summer outings and this coral sweater t-shirt adds a fun option for beach days, or just around the house on a cool summer morning.
Blue/White Striped Dress
This stunning dress keeps giving me life. It feels like it captures all of me.
Starfish Keds
This pair has that worn appearance yet still holding shape.
Purse
I adore this purse I invested in a couple years ago. It is easy to bring on shopping days or just out and about on the weekends.
Jean Shorts
Not pictured here is a pair of jean shorts I bought and used exclusively as my ‘jean shorts’ for the summers. They were quite honestly falling apart. Off they go.
Blue Second Hand tank
Not pictured here is a second hand tank top I have been wearing for 4-5 years in summer and autumn months. It was never 100% me, but it did the trick when doing life with a toddler in tow. I am not wearing it anymore, so it’s time to donate it. Someone will appreciate it more than I am right now.
In no specific order:
Anne has this raw, real and compassionate way of putting words down for the reader to rest in. She has written books for writers and has also written books on all sorts of aspects of life.
12 Truths I learned from Life and Writing - Ted Talk
Maya, although passed has words that echos beyond her lifetime. I read her book “I Know Why the Cagebird Sings” at a young age. Somewhere between the ages of 14-16 and I remember clearly how it changed my perspectives of the stories of others. After that I remembered to listen deeply whenever she appeared on the Oprah show or else where in the world.
I Know Why the Cagebird Sings - Book
Morgan’s words caught my attention years ago. Somewhere online, most likely on Pinterest I was saving her words as reminders during the darker times.
Art, Creativity & the Viral Poem - Interview
All Along You Were Blooming - Book
Mari and her husband dance. They dance differently than others. They create pieces that wreck me from the inside out in the best of ways.
Ethan has been on his own personal creative journey for years and the maturity, growth and depth of creative insight that he speaks is something I greatly admire, want to hold onto and remember. He is also very clear in his reasons for focuses on what inspires him, rather than the ‘next shiny thing’ and all the struggles of personal thoughts that come with that.
Give Yourself Permission to Be Creative - Ted Talk
Don’t Fear the Struggle - Interview
A Canadian Vlogger who has worked hard to create her own brand, community and content online while also finding ways to pivot and become more real, authentic and challenge herself to stay true to where she is at in the moment. I appreciate the shifts she allows herself to take and the documenting fun she still finds along the way.
Amy (along with her writing partner & husband Daniel) has delivered two shows that are beloved to me. Gilmore Girls & The Marvellous Mrs.Maisel. Amy is a vibrant style focused writer who has her own voice and style that creates multi-dimensional characters, worlds that are fun and finds ways to honour herself in the industry.
Don’t Be Afraid to Be Fired! - Interview
Comedy is Headed to a Very Dangerous Place - RoundTable
Brene is by far one of the most impactful writers and researchers of our time. This woman takes all the aspects of what it means to be a human and helps breaks it down to show us how we can develop a healthier relationship with ourselves and with others.
The Power of Vulnerability - Brene Brown
This Scandinavian woman caught my eye a couple of years ago and I am just in awe of her creativity, spirit and ability to press on and find ways to honour herself and her work.
White Point Beach Resort on a foggy morning.
To celebrate our 10th anniversary and to create memories, we spent the majority of a week at White Point Resort this summer. It was everything we needed and more.
The time as a couple to connect intentionally and romantically outside of the life we have been working hard for was healing and I am not unaware of what a huge privilege it is that we could set aside the time to make that happen.
It’s easy to think that we are capable of this endless wheel of meeting the needs of our jobs, our friends and family without those margin moments but it’s simply not true. If anything the pandemic has taught us, is that having ‘pause’ can create space for something altogether different.
Being alone, without the people, the hustle, the bustle is sometimes nerve wracking.
We have our lives so perfectly ordered to create the background noise just the way we like to hear it, but eventually that background noise becomes undelt with trauma, over worked, over wrought and simply a lack of peace soul with the way things are as they are.
I
CAN’T
DO
IT
ALL.
I
CAN’T
BE
THE
SOLUTION
TO
ANY
ONE
PERSONS
NEEDS.
I
WASN’T
MADE
TO
LIVE
OFF
OF
NOTHING
BUT
EXPECTATIONS
AND
SCHEDULES.
I
WAS
MADE
TO
FLY
AND
LAUGH.
*spoiler alert: this is no new news.
No one was made to fully fulfill another person.
We are individually born as whole and solo beings.
We can be blessings to each other.
We can be the refreshing rain on the soil of another spirit.
We cannot be the sun.
We cannot be expected to exist simply to glorify anything but the One who made us.
What does this mean?
It means we do our best to honour and work to hone the life we are called into.
If you are privileged enough to carve out time and space for you to exhale somewhere quiet, I hope you find yourself a little corner of a moment to sit and listen to the lifeline rope you are holding on to and listen to what it is saying.
These are the things we hear loud and clear, yet need the time to fully see what it is we have been aching over.
We like to think that we can dress ourselves up with our experiences, education and accolades.
That who we are is the sum of our success and ability to dust ourselves off after a string of errors and mischief.
That we possibly can just forge ahead and put the mess of our past behind us.
No burial service, no atonement, no rectification.
Just walking away from the mess and letting the scabs form where they are as we stagger on.
If this is you dear one, then I must urge you… sit down. You are leaving bodies in your wake, and the next one might be yours.
Here’s the thing,
We humans have so much to learn from the digging into our failures, our past and our wounds.
We will repeat what we don’t heal and we will find a new way to ripple affect the damage we haven’t dealt with.
Success is found within the healing process. How deep you go to find the cause of the wounds of your past and how you carve out time and space for new and more healing ways to continue on.
We like to act like we are above brokenness. That our ability to damage ourselves and others along the way by our own inability to see the next bump in the road is just a simple accident, but the truth is,
without your own self reflection, healing and ability to see that you are just as faulty as the next broken and lonely soul…
you will always pass judgement and assume to know the depths of another person’s pain.
You will continue to walk away from the messes you make, shrug your shoulders and suggest that there is nothing more you can do.
But there is.
Always.
And maybe,
just maybe,
working on healing your own broken pieces will create the safe place for new healing somewhere else instead of the shards you leave in your wake that people will walk on.
A captivating and descriptive tale of a family that grew up in Malibu. Spanning the timeline of two generations we get to see the beginnings and the fall out of a family. This novel delivers the beautiful landscape of Malibu, while also revealing the destructive nature of what it means to put all your hopes and dreams into one solitary ‘element’. Be that a person, a place or a thing.
The perfect summer read.
I picked this up out of interest of wanting to read the novel before watching the Shonda Rhimes series. With adaptations I am always interested in what was chosen to be included or not. This novel although slightly different than its television series which is more ‘based on the characters of’ gives its own beautiful and romantic punch. I adore the society columnist giving her take at the beginning of each chapter (which Julie Andrews does such a great job at in the series with her voice over), and I love the strong female characters who are very much within the restraints of their era but yet remain three dimensional within their roles.
Beautifully done.
It’s safe to say I will be continuing on with this series both on Netflix and in books.
J.M Berry’s writing has always been an inspiration to me. I believe I first read Peter Pan as a late teen and re-fell in love with the tale. Of course, some of the depictions are outdated, but when you move past that dated stereotypes and focus on everything else, you can see how perfectly wonderful a storyteller the man was. He breathed creative genius in so many ways. Words weaving in and out of the narrative, giving the reader something to hold on to. It’s no surprise that Peter Pan was first a play before a book. It’s words depict a fully visual and beautiful world.
Emily has been a writer I have followed for years. Her podcast ‘The Next Right Thing’ a comfort during many a time, especially during the pandemic. That being said, it seemed sad that I had not yet read The Next Right Thing Book yet, so I have finally rectified that. If you are looking for a read that will give you permission to mindfully and intentionally process through your life and decisions, this is a perfect read.
In Film / Television
Dirty Dancing | because while in our cottage during vacation at night with our daughter asleep, this seemed like the perfect summer watch. It was. For me, summer air & dancing is the most delicious thing.
Bridgerton | because adaptations are my jam and this is no exception.
In the creative industries, I would argue, there is a game we like to play in the grand scheme of life where we make assessments, judgments, and calls to figure out where we land amongst the others.
It happens in the moments of scrolling, connecting, colliding, watching…
It happens so quickly that we are not aware of how firmly it is embedded into our thinking.
Recently I have been trying to unearth the roots of comparison from my life.
I would like to say that I am good at it.
Good at keeping my eyes in my own lane and appreciating the lanes of others without the twinge, the raise of heartbeat and the critical disdain.
But that would be a lie.
I am human.
We are all apt to want to join the game that has been lain out for us.
Pick up your token and roll the dice. See where you land.
I’m playing a game that only I can play. I am the only me on this board, and I can only truly battle with my own inner demons.
Industries, society, cultures will all have their norms, their way of life and rule book.
I just happen to be a bit of a maverick, and I think that’s okay.
I think it’s okay to come into your work and life recognizing that your calling may not be aligning with everyone else. It might be okay that you come into your position with a different background, different passion and angle.
Sure,
I’d love to be the next Elizabeth Gilbert, Glennon Doyle or even...Maya Angelou… but the truth is. I’m not.
I’m Amy Grace, born, raised and deeply anchored in Halifax, Nova Scotia. I think deeply and see movies and words in my head. I arrive at storytelling and writing with the angle of a trained interpreter with a passion for communication and psychology. I spend a lot of my time shooting the breeze with my closest people, listening to podcasts, stopping at random to lay on the floor and cuddle and wrestle my daughter. I get ideas in the shower or while I am moving my body in cardio or dance. I write them down with either water or sweat dripping down my face. I value quality time with others and would always prefer to either being quietly reflecting or deeply discussing.
Sometimes this means…I create less than I want to. Other times this means I am neck deep in ideas, projects and meetings I don’t know what to do with myself.
But the point of this is.
I cannot and should not be the next Shonda Rhimes, Marie Forleo, Sarah Polley or Chriselle Lim.
What I can do,
is be me.
Who are you?
What are you about?
What is that thing that makes you arresting to yourself and those around you?
Because you are. You make me weak in the knees when you show up as yourself.
I want more of you.
All of you.
We all do.
Despite the games we all habitually find ourselves playing from time to time, we are all our best and highest selves when playing for ourselves and ultimately the One who gave us all these thoughts, ideas and dreams to begin with..
Written during the early 1950’s to mirror image the anti-communist era by rewinding the clock and looking at the 1700’s Salem Witch trials, this read is a huge reminder that history does repeat itself. We are so fickle to think there is not a repetitive nature to the human existence. The only true thing that can help curb history repeating itself is awareness. An awareness of ourselves and the world around us. So much of history is built on the foundations of fear, misunderstandings and lack of grace. This book couldn’t be more relevant today for all of the polarized societal shifts we are seeing.
Glad to have read the play, but even more interested in seeing it live.
A retelling of Disneys ‘Aladdin’. I have been following this series slowly where commissioned authors retell these classics / Disney tales in new and twisted ways. This adaption is no exception. If you like this sort of thing, these books are a fun read.
I have been reading this book for research on the grieving process. Especially now that David has expanded on this in a second book, it’s easy to see why this is a book that many recommend. It’s a staple for understanding what a person goes through in any sort of grief.
Toy Story 3 - for the family film night & because it is the best of the series.
The Handmaids Tale S04 - for the reminder that we are only ever one step away from becoming a society that would spiral out of control.
Back to the Future - for the summer nostalgia
recording session for a CBC radio series.
Any podcaster knows the complexities of recording in-house, but I have done a healthy amount of recording, for podcasts, radio etc not needing to handle my own equipment or even handle all the ins and outs of setup.
Until now.
There is nothing like a pandemic to force one to get over their fear of tech, muddle through the necessities and learn a thing or two along the way.
Thankfully, being married to an electrical engineer, I have the advantage of in-house tech support. If everything goes ‘to hell in a hand-basket’ so to speak, I can yell bloody murder from my office and he will trundle in, all nonchalant, while sorting through the latest glitch.
Stuff yourself into a closet (it’s a plus if you have a walk-in)
In our new home, every room as an echo.
Mostly due to being slow to add pictures or rugs to rooms. I like taking my time with decor.
No matter how hard you try, a lawnmower is still a lawnmower.
Wait until all lawnmowers have retreated for the day…or at least rush in quickly and record.
Don’t get me started on this one. It’s not always easy to schedule a peaceful time to record, but you just have to adjust accordingly.
Plan interviews but leave room for spontaneity.
I get self conscious about my own physical voice in any project. It’s so much easier for me to build a spotlight and narrative around others, but lately my work has been more personal, leaving me little room to escape my own voice. Remembering that I can also follow an interesting lead in thought and question while trying to honour the project anchor points is a helpful way to stay loose.
It’s okay to go off book sometimes.
Don’t review material on the same day. Even if you have access to it.
This is something I have learned over a long time of doing interviews / recording film.
As exciting as it is to look over the material that same day, (not all projects is this possible, but for my work, it mostly has been) try to give yourself a day’s breather before reviewing the recordings. Space away from the experience will help you hear things you wouldn’t hear the day of.
I say this a lot.
But sometimes, I say it with pain in my heart.
If anything has taught me more about grace… it's becoming a parent.
I'm not sure that I genuinely understood forgiveness and its complete process until working through the parenting journey.
I still am.
It's hard.
Hard to see that there are things I will need to be forgiven for. I will need to create healing space in my child's life and understand that there is no end to that cycle of needing to create space for a person and the grace to exist in the air between us.
Sometimes it's a beautiful journey, and other times it becomes dark and full of thorns.
I can feel weary in the journey of forgiveness.
Yet, the idea of turning back, of not continuing on and finding that next part of healing, albeit alluring, is not a place I want to go.
We get frozen in time without the path.
We need the path.
It's just… hard.
Painful and not always a fun feeling.
And sometimes, I want to stamp my foot and decide to stay where I am.
I don't need to go any further.
But then…
I am raising this little spirit and the path is for her to learn as much as I.
If I can't pass grace for the pain within myself and exist with it, I can't give grace for the pain within others.
It's hard to look at.
It's not fun.
Yet,
it's a path.
A journey.
And thus far, the path has provided me more grace, more healing and more compassion than not being on the path.
feed·back| ˈfēdˌbak | noun 1 information about reactions to a product, a person's performance of a task, etc. which is used as a basis for improvement: throughout this process we have obtained valuable feedback | customer feedback suggested that the design flaws were severe.
is a term toted as a necessary and valuable component to creating and developing high-quality work for those in professional and creative industries. This tool is practiced in the education system and is often brought into the assignment process. Learning how to give and receive feedback is of high value to the work and the individual who grows through the work they produce.
Something I believe that many of us would prefer not to look at. To look at it means that we might have to re-evaluate the foundations of our own emerging professional selves and those around us.
When we enforce the concept of giving and receiving feedback as necessary in all components, we assume that you must share your own opinion/perspective with every opportunity, despite the value of what you are adding to the work or the conversation. We are also assuming that voicing your view is needed and always helpful to the 'work.'
Not every perspective, thought, feeling, and idea that you may have is what a person or project needs to grow and create better work.
In fact, the one thing that a person believes is essential might be the one thing that tanks a project.
The belief that a person needs to have a tough exterior to craft high-quality work breeds an atmosphere of individuals who are not in touch with themselves or their emotions. Asking your students/employees/co-workers to have thicker skin is antiquated and a form of emotional harassment. No amount of squashing down one's feelings will produce better work in the long run. The focus should be on cultivating an awareness of one's strengths and weaknesses to harness the best possible outcome. Tenderness and emotional awareness is a strength and an asset to any work/project.
This one was introduced to me in my interpreting days. Just the phrase alone speaks of an easily manipulated intention. It immediately projects that 'something you did is shit.' It introduces a shame element before the feedback has been delivered. Although this phrase can be used as a quirky, light-hearted way to joke about how one would like to hear their feedback, honouring this phrase assumes that anyone has two valuable positive things to say and one useful negative thing to say. Great feedback is about insight, discernment and questions. If you have just one question and nothing else, that should be enough.
In any given circumstance, less is always more.
Although not related to feedback, this phrase is often used in educational settings (engineering, interpreting, med students, etc.) to project fear, seriousness, and the privilege of sitting in the seat. This statement is the foundation for the competition, harassment etc., that can arise in toxic feedback. When we introduce this atmosphere to our learning settings, we immediately tell those sitting that they are worthless. Those individuals will project that to their peers in both intentional and unintentional ways.
Another foundational statement in the early days of professional education that many professions espouse in first/second-year students. It suggests that no one is worthy and that the only way to be respected is to be initiated in this impossible next (insert number of years ). Only if you survive the following number of years will you be considered one of the privileged and enlightened few. It's no wonder that workplace harassment and bullying exist when these are the foundational phrases subconsciously developed. I have had calls from people who have dropped out of their educational journey for various reasons, and the one thing they struggle to shake is that feeling of inferiority. But the truth is, staying in an atmosphere where you are encouraged to loose yourself and compete to be seen can be more damaging than finishing the journey.
Similar to the shit sandwich approach, assuming that practicing this with every interaction breeds the idea that one must have something to say at any given moment. This means that people believe they must share their thoughts and opinions despite how thought out they may or may not be. How does this create excellent work?
We miss the mark. We are human. The idea that feedback is flawless in any setting is foolish. We all will bring our own toxic beliefs to the table and, unfortunately, put our foot in it, hurt someone unintentionally, abuse power through language and make ourselves feel better by telling ourselves that they 'really needed to hear that.
the real and actual damage is if we continue this narrative intentionally.
Genuine feedback can be the most impactful and life-altering element of collaboration.
When we focus on honouring each other while making the work better, we take our egos out of our back pockets to safely keep them and set them aside to understand that the bigger picture is something we should make space for.
Brene Brown's words echo in my mind as I attempt to sum this up
"You're ready to give feedback when you're ready to sit next to the person, not across from them. You're ready to put the problem, not between you, but in front of both of you."
"Feedback should be as vulnerable for the person giving it as the person receiving it," Brown said. "You should have no idea what's gonna go down in that room."
For further reading on healthy feedback, Brene Brown provides this guide that truly hits a mark that so many of us have not been taught or encouraged in.
Here is the playlist for this summer 2021
Around 1:22 this song picks up in a way that gets me in my inner core. There is something about a nostalgic song regarding summertime that adds to those reflective moments. Roll down the windows and turn up the volume on this baby.
This tune makes me think of every good feeling that a couple could experience rolled up into one tune. Bare feet, two mugs, sitting on countertops late at night while cooking, deep talks and the sounds of good music in the background.
Blame it on the 98’ remake of The Parent Trap, but this song for me says summer. I would binge this film during my childhood summers. The end credits rolled to this track. The opening chords get me every time.
I love this thankful prayer. Sometimes words are best said heavenwards.
For the past two years, I have been an executive board member of Women in Film and Television Atlantic. A board who has collectively, and tirelessly done their best to move the needle for women in film and television in our Atlantic provinces.
As the end of my term approached and I realized I needed to take a step back in order to focus on other work I have reflected on what the time on this board has afforded me.
When Kim McTaggart encouraged me to officially join the board she said over the phone “this is a role you get what you put in. It’s up to you the amount of work you want this to be.” That phrase not only had me instantly wanting to join, but I have carried it with me in all future situations since 2019.
Although when new on a board you may be tempted to jump in and assert yourself. it is also helpful to take inventory of the atmosphere that is already present, discern where you best can contribute and find ways that you can bring something to the table.
It was easy to look at the women around me and be a bit flummoxed about how I ended up sitting with them. I can say without a shadow of a doubt that being on the board of WIFT-AT has not only brought me closer to the industry I have been working to grow in, but closer to myself. I have witnessed what I bring to the table in a fresh way, and I have also realized when I have over-shot. That’s a huge skill to see.
When we view one as bigger or louder than another, we limit the world we create. I felt valued by my board members both seasoned in their work and new.
I am not done volunteering, but now from a different seat.
