Malasana Pose / As I like to call it : the natural birthing pose. 

I often get asked 'Why yoga?' when I describe my thirty minute one woman comedy/drama show is me on a yoga mat, doing yoga and using yoga as a platform to share my work.

I wrote The Mom Show or The Most Boring Show Ever at first, as a cathartic exercise.  The only thing coming out after having a baby was 'about having a baby'.  It was natural for me to let the words flow from a true and honest place.  I hope all women believe that what they have to share in their evolution into motherhood is valued and has a place in this world.  We need to hear more from them.

Woman. Mother.
Mother. Woman.

For me, they are one.  Intertwined and equally as valuable.  From my womanhood I am mother, and from my mother I am woman.  
 
Learning how to move my body again post birth by using my daily yoga practice was a healing journey.  My identity had been drastically altered and I was adrift with my own spirit and calling.  We'd all like to be those tough women who say "Motherhood didn't change me!"  But it does!  Anyone who says that it doesn't either has never had a child, been parents for years and blocked that stage of life out, or are trying to sell you something. 

Yoga is the ultimate mind, body, spirit workout.  By practicing it everyday that first month after my daughter was born I was giving myself permission to connect with my breath, my heartbeat, my true core questions and thoughts.  

So when I sat down with all of my thoughts on Mother. Woman.  Woman. Mother.  And began to edit each draft, I was seeing how clearly it all ebbed and flowed.  I could feel the inhale and the exhale in my words and the most natural thing in that moment was to pair them with yoga.

I chose yoga because it doesn't hide the truth about you.  If you are anxious or unsettled it shows, if you are strong and confident, it also shows.  There is a raw and deeply spiritual physical representation of oneself when you move your body and this is why I chose Yoga to be the platform for a one woman show about womanhood and motherhood intertwined.

Easter Weekend.

For me, Easter is a time to reflect on why Grace and Love is so important.  I take my faith intentionally, and the practice of Communion is more than just drinking a sip of fruit juice or wine and chewing a cracker like its a habit.  The true practice of Communion is the practice of Grace and Love every single day.

We need to be passing Grace like we pass the bread.  Passing Love like we pass the wine.   Because we are always close to either communing with Gods people at the table or critiquing Gods people.  And that critiquing?  That critiquing spills the wine through the cracks of the table, onto the floor where we miss out.  We miss out on passing and receiving and end up getting lost in what could have been a beautiful Grace Communion.

We break the bread and drink the wine because of Love.  Because of Grace.

Clock-wise From Top Centre: White Winter Hat | H&M, White Shirt with Skates on it | The GAP, Folded Pink Pyjamas | Joe Fresh, 'Everything's S'more Fun With You' Folded Pink Shirt | Carters, Blue Whale | Christmas gift from Auntie Nicole, Wodden Teddy Cut Outs | Melissa & Doug Gift from Grandma & Grandpa, White Heart Sweater | Carters, Red Nordic Pyjamas | Joe Fresh, Jeans | Second hand, Snowflake Pants | The Gap, Pink Nordic Pants | Joe Fresh, Stella Doll Diaper Bag & Accessories | Various Gifts from Grandma & Grandpa, Stella Doll | Indigo, Winter Boots | Joe Fresh, Pink Snow Suit Pants & Coat Set | Joe Fresh, Yellow Bird | Japan - Gift From Auntie Jasmine, 'Baby Roo I Love You' Book | Indigo - Valentines Day Gift from Mama & Dada, Little People Girl & Teddy | Gift from Grandma & Grandpa

After documenting my own wardrobe I thought I had recorded Zoës at the same time.  Come to find out, I had not.  During her lunch today I scoured the boxes for things I had packed away, items she had outgrown (pants) and pulled it together in a bit of a rush.  Either way, here we are.

The big stand outs are highlighted in this capture and although there are other items she wore this past winter season, none as often as these.  What is missing from this is the blue jogging pants from Carters she currently is wearing today.  ;)

Our favourites are without a doubt the cozy pink shirt 'Everything's S'more Fun With You ' from Carters , that White Winter Hat we bought her for her first winter, which she will definitely not fit next year, and that adorable winter jacket.  

Included in this capture are the toys and articles which have become her most favourite and most used this season.  Blue Whale is a must for every cuddle session and the Stella Doll "Dolly" is becoming the everyday "Dolly-does-what-I-do" friend.  The two "Little People" by Fisher Price were given to her as a pair on Dedication Day at Church and as a pair they must stay.  She only plays with them together.  

All in all, winter clothing is tough in toddler world with the constantly needing to be dressed and undressed.  As cute as all these items are, I won't complain when the only thing she has on is a loose romper or dress.  Plus... who can resist toddler arms, legs and bellies peeking out for a good romp outside.

Clockwise from top Left: Indigo Reading Socks , Pink Sparkle HeadBand | Winners, White Mittens | Bizou , Love Warrior by Glenneon Doyle Melton, Black Long Turtle Neck Quarter-length sleeves | Winners, Grey Hooded Button Sweater | Suzy Shiers, Folded Blue sweater | Passed on from Nicole, Pink Scarf | Suzy Shiers, Rose Gold Nail Polish | Essie, Simplicity Earrings | Modcloth.com , Champagne Toast | Bath and Body Works, Black gloves | Winners, A-line Grey Dress | modcloth.com, Grey Journal | Leuchtturm , Rose Gold Journal | Kate Spade, Ultra Repair Cream | First Aid Beauty, Grey Romper | From Jasmine Alexanders trip to Korea. Pink Sweater with White Ribbons / Aerie

Ultra Repair Cream recommendation from Beth Enman at Living While.  A true life savour during the harsh winds off the water during my winter walks.

As more seasons pass curating and developing a capsule wardrobe, I find the additions are becoming necessity or statement focused.  Winter season began, I took note of what needed to be replaced, added and eyed a statement item or two to complete the set, then I let it be.

For me, where I live, a four season wardrobe is not only enjoyable but necessary.  Halifax, NS is used to all kinds of weather, famous for it's fog and short summers.  From my perspective, it's more like our seasons have a bit of every mild version of a season inside them, but we do expierence every season fully.  Which means, things like winter gear, rain gear, beach gear, autumn jackets etc. are all things one needs.  We get frigid temps at times during the dead of winter, and absolutely sleepless heat temps late summer.

Along with the items pictured above I was also given another long grey/black sweater from Jasmine Alexander, purchased a pair of shorter brown boots to replace a pair I have been wearing for almost ten years and wore the Gap Dark Skinny Jeans and H&M Black Stretch Pants.

Winter, although cold inspired me this year.  It felt like a complete reset.  Maybe it was because I started the first day of the year standing in my best friends wedding in that grey dress.  Or maybe it's because I got to visioning and goal setting in that romper.  Or maybe, it's because I truly relaxed and enjoyed many cozy moments with my family in that cute warm pink sweater.

Either way, this capsule is my favourite so far.  

Cozy, Pretty & Me.

Polka Dot shirt From Hong Kong.  Seen many theatre and rehearsal days.  Completely stained in the arm pits and around the neck.  A sad but warm goodbye.

One of two winter house socks from Winners.  Didn't hold up well and bit the dust early. 

Winter 2014.  A typical after party morning.

Over four years ago I was going through a transformation.  Personally and professionally.  I believe it was a defining season of time for me.  It was a time in my life I was at a crossroads of who I wanted to truly become.  I could go in many directions and I knew that whatever I did choose, would be a choice that defined me not just at that moment, but for the future.

During that time I bonded with what I assume will be those life lasting friends that you know in every stage of life.  None of these specific friends were new to me at the time, but the journey I was traveling was a defining moment for the continuation of these friendships.

One of these precious friends sent me a song one night that she had been listening to.

She said: "This is for you.  This is how all of us feel for you and what we are doing with you."  I will never forget it.  

The song?  Rally by Allie Moss <--- Click to listen.

I hold that time of my life close because it did define me and my values.  It shaped me into the woman I am today and I am blessed and honoured by those who stood with me while I sifted through the confusion, the heart break and the pain.  

This week I have been faced with a few reminders of what it means to 'rally'.  I have been reminded of what it means to take action and rally around others.  Whether it is at a distance of someone or some cause, or close with someone or something.  

We are called to rally behind those we love, the causes that break us open and we are called to honour that which moves us.  To stay aware of the pain of others and to stay grounded in what we can truly give.  And when you give, give open, wide and free.  Give endless grace and endless love.

Rally.

"Comedy or tragedy, we'll write this one together.  I'll be there for you....We'll rally, rally, around you." - Allie Moss

A late upload due to busyness and colds.   

All we need is love. 

Having not yet read on everything "Hygge" yet, knowing if I did, I would not stop.  I have captured five ways I have been using the quiet moments of Winter.

These are:  

1. Reviewing unfinished or old piano pieces along with the new to maintain skill and enjoyment.  
Having a baby stopped me from using my instrument fully for over a year.  Getting back into it with new goals and reasons is bringing joy.
What is a skill that you've let slide or could renew?

2. Skate / Winter walks.  
Being outdoors for a walk or skate refreshes me even on the bitter days.  The concept that it is 'too cold' to enjoy moving outdoors is so often, not true.
What is a time of day or activity you could enjoy outside?

3. Bullet Journaling.  
Spending the Winter weeks getting used to a full on bullet journal and all it can offer me, not only feeds my 'plan-happy-soul', but gives me a creative outlet that I enjoy.
What is an activity that would boost productivity but also be a source of enjoyment?

4. Reading.  
Taking the time to read a stack of books not only is rewarding and stimulating for the brain but it is absolutely fun to take the time to choose a group of titles and get to say you read them and share with others how you felt about each of them.  More table talk options.
What are a few titles that would be great to take off of your check list?  Or better yet, wheres your nearest library?  Peruse there.

5.  Podcasts.  
I am burning through my podcast list these days.  Maybe it is all the time indoors or having them on while I work to motivate me through maundane tasks, but I love them.  Right now I am fascinated with : "Missing Richard Simmons" , "The Goal Digger Podcast" , "Someone Knows Something" and "The Minimalists",  just to name a few.
Scroll through the topics on iTunes or other podcast platforms and you are bound to find something in your interests.

Other activities keeping me all 'winter-slap-happy' : renewing my hygiene routine, baths, finding new TV Shows, dreaming on pinterest, curating my Instagram, meal planning for the week and Using Oh She Glows cookbooks.

Relax, Renew, and Refine this Winter.

Spring is only a month away.

Self Care: Bath Time

Self-care isn't just for the single young twenty somethings who are still in university with student loans to coast on.  Self-care isn't just for the yogis and the wellness coaches.  Self care is for the every person.

The every you and me.

Self care is a bit of honesty.

For me?

Right now, it's lighting a candle in the shower/bath.  A simple reminder that my quiet time is worth a bit of ceremonial due diligence.   It's reminding myself that my dreams matter, I have worthiness to share and that feeling responsible for everyones happiness does not mean that I truly am.

In truth, I doubt my dreams validity, I feel unworthy on what I have to share and feel utterly responsible that those in my life are happy with me and how I do my life.

But Grace.

When we allow some Grace into our lives, it's like that candle I light.  It's quiet, small and peaceful.  Its the peace I am missing when I am busy trying to solve my problems as if I could truly fix it.  Peace can't come while you toss and turn.  Peace comes when you forgive yourself of what you believed you could control and let yourself off the hook.  Peace comes when you start to understand that your worthiness doesn't come from anyone or anything, but from the very being you were made to be.  You are a delight as you are wholly and completely you.  With every flaw and beauty mark.  You were made to be complex and intricate and when we allow ourselves to be as complicated, messy and as whole as we are, there is the Grace that we often forget.  We forgot it one day in our insecurities and our doubts , but it's always been there.  Waiting for us to allow it in again.  And when we do?

Peace.

Light candles, play a song, nap under a luxurious blanket, indulge in a heavenly moment.

Clockwise from the top left:  Stuffed Monkey became this seasons favourite.  (He was a stuffy of mine that I was willing to get rid of and my mother, Zoës Grandma, did not want to see go.  She slyly let Zoë take it home with her on a day she came down with a fever...sneaky grandmothers...), Blue/Grey light jacket | A gift from Auntie from Korea, Grey hair band | Carters, Grey hoodie sweater | Kids Gap, Flower Baseball Shirt | Carters , Duckie/Chick Halloween Costume | Winners, The Secret Life of Squirrels Book | Gift from Great Aunt & Uncle during a visit, it makes us all laugh.  Slip on Shoes | Joe Fresh, Jeans | Second hand from a boy at Church (they are girl jeans).  Girlfriend Jeans | Carters (they did not fit this season due to the width), Plaid Shirt | Carters, Polka Dot Pants | Gift from Auntie from Korea, Grey Flower Dress | Carters, Blue Romper | Joe Fresh, gift from Grandma.

I am finding more and more that no matter how many clothes my child has, it is those few favourites along with the few that work and fit so perfectly that end up being worn over and over again.  

It was fun to go out and purchase a halloween costume for her this year and a few Autumn staples like the Plaid shirt and the baseball long sleeve shirt.  It was even fun to have her Auntie to return from Korea with a few clothing goodies.  Polka dots on a toddler girl is immense fun.

The biggest realization after Autumn was over was that it was time to go buy more socks.  Summer, the season of bare feet, is officially over.  After the first few colder weeks I realized four pairs of socks on rotation were not going to cut it.  So we went out and bought a few more pairs and of course are constantly loosing them...

Toddler socks are so so small.

I just love seeing her seasonal life come to a close like this.  

If anything, these are great memories. 

Clockwise from top centre :  Folded a second hand blue dress that has been featured before, Felt hat | Indigo, Cable Knit sweater | Suzie Shiers, Wine Dress | BCBGeneration, Socks | Bluenotes, Prestige Jeux Ginseng D'escargot | Korean Product from best friend, Second Hand Blue sweater | Given by another best friend, Folded Black shirt | H&M, Skinny Jeans | The Gap, Brown Faux leather Jacket | Bootlegger , Folded off white tank top | Forever21, Tufted Quarter Length Sleeve Shirt | Modcloth, Nautical Keds | Keds, Happier at Home by Gretchen Rubin (Because I started reading it first day of Autumn) | Chapters, & Grey Duffle Bag | Hershal

This Autumn I was able to enjoy the results of my capsule wardrobing labour and I loved every minute of it.  Some items are missing from this shot, due to being busy and not carefully gathering every piece but on a whole, these are the main articles from the last season.

Three items pictured here that I am sad to part with after this season:  

Nautical Keds : I wore those beauties everywhere and wore them clean apart.  One shoe is fine, but the right shoe came apart along the sole and sides.  

Leaf Earrings:  Left behind by a friend who said to keep them, I've had these earrings for about two years and have always enjoyed wearing them.  They were old and not in the best condition but I was still sad when I lost it's partner.

Faux Leather Jacket: Bought in 2011 from (I believe Bootlegger), this jacket has been fun to pair with dresses, jeans, black pants, skirts etc.  It was the go to for an outfit boost.  After six years, the faux leather began to flake badly around the sleeves and collar.  Sigh...another one bites the dust.

Three items I am thrilled to have as additions this year:

Hershel Novel Duffle Bag:  I have always wanted a trendy duffle bag since being a teenager.  Sleepovers have a way of making you notice these things. Finally, I felt the time was right and found this lovely grey bag.  I love the style of Hershel, especially the shoe compartment in the Novel design.

BCBGeneration Wine Dress:  Bought from a boutique for my good friends wedding, this dress is perfect for autumn with it's wine tone and ability to pair with black hosiery and boots.  It's an Autumn dream dress.

Eye Cream "Prestige, Beaux Ginseng D'escargot" : Given to me by my bestie from her year in Korea this eye cream is a dream.  It rolls on underneath your eyes and has the perfect cooling affect.  Who knew I'd enjoy putting snail stuff on my face.  Take it from me, the Koreans know what they are doing regarding skin care.

It's been just over a year since starting to curate and develop capsule wardrobes and I am starting to see the benefits and careful deliberation pay off.

When you have less choices it frees you to make choices that are truly and abundantly reflective of you.  Now when I get dressed, I feel as if I am meeting with my true self and love the artistry of getting ready.  Sure, I may lust over the endless wracks of clothes in the mall, but in the end, it is those carefully selected pieces that truly give me joy, a sense of self and of purpose.

So long...farewell....

So epically sad to see these go.... they saw me through postpartum and many blues dances.

This image thrills me.  Seeing my daughters most worn summer clothes displayed and curated as to capture that season of her life, melts my heart.  Many of these clothes won't fit her by next summer, maybe a few will.  It all depends on how her body develops.  Captured here are the clothes I will be packing away in case they either fit her next summer or another toddler appears in our life at some point.

I won't always store these clothes.  At some point I will narrow them down to most likely the yellow dress and those pink Bunny shoes.  A sentiment of her first toddler summer.  But until then these are the clothes that Zoë wore the most Summer 2016.

Clockwise:  Blue Summer hat: Carters, Tropical Short Overalls: Carters, Pink T-Shire onsie: Carters, Blue Birdie Patterned Romper : Joe Fresh, Jean Shorts : Carters (Size: 3 months, Zoë although long, is small in her mid section and still fit into the same shorts she wore as a 2-3 month old baby.)  Ice Cream Cone covered Swim Suit: Carters, White T-shirt with design: Gift from Grandparents from Hong Kong, Yellow Dress hand made from Great Aunt Shelley, Candy Striped pants also from Honk Kong, Yellow Shirt : Baby Gap, gift from Auntie Heidi, White Eyelet T-Shirt : Gift from Auntie Jasmine from Korea, Folded: Summer sleeve and pantless romper : Carters (Used as pyjamas) , Pink Bunny Shoes : Baby Gap.  In the Middle: Striped dress : Baby Gap.  On the side: Folded up Pink & White childs blanket gifted from Auntie Heidi from Kids Pottery Barn. (Given during the summer and dearly loved) 

In case you missed it...

I didn't write a play about new motherhood and yoga for kicks and giggles.  I wrote it because  I want to see new mamas well, happy and thriving.

1. Mama comes first.

In order to be the 'mama' you deeply desire to be, you have to feed yourself first.  Not just physically, but mentally, emotionally, spiritually etc. etc.  Fill your cup so that it can overflow first  to your child/children & then the others.  (If you have a spouse/partner, may your full cup overflow first, to create a healthy partnership, and then, into your child/children).

2. Hydrate with H2O & fill your plate with whole foods.

Give your body what it craves past the empty calories.  Bread looks great, but it doesn't give you full nutrient calories that will supply you with what you need to be strong, happy and healthy.  And water?  Water can only help your system.  What you give your body, it gives back.  

3. Unplug & write it out.

Take a break from the outside world.  Turn the phone etc. off and get real with who you deeply are.  It is easier to prioritize when there is silence.  Be it in the middle of the night, or stepping out to sit at a park and reflect.  Take that time.  No one but you will give it to you without strings attached.

4. Walk walk walk.  

When in doubt, walk.  Baby is fussy? Stroller & walk.  It's raining? Raincoats & walk.  Feeling anxious?  Walk.  Walking is your body's way of meditation, releasing stress, hormones and of course, nothing is better than a breath of fresh air.  Walk even when it feels like a chore.  No one ever feels fully tired from a walk.  It's a natural energy booster & is a great way to get out of the house.

5. Only wear clothes you love. 

Mamas havn't lost their womanhood.  So dress in however makes you feel like the most of you.  Get rid of EVERYTHING that doesn't feel thrilling to wear. (Donate clothing that is still in good condition.)  Curate your wardrobe to say exactly what you want to say to yourself.  For me?  "I am   alluring, I am a writer, I am athletic, I am relaxed, I am sophisticated, I am well-read."  For you?  You decide. 

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Of the many goals I set on January 2016, 'finding my squad' was at the top of the list.  You know, the #squadgoals that you see on instagram? I was drooling over 'young twenty-something-besties' rocking their 'free-life' with their bare legs in a hot tub, their wild hair flying behind them as they ran into nature.  I was scrolling and pumping breast-milk while falling in love with girls I hadn't met.  Scrolling and pumping.  Pumping and scrolling.  

I was not lacking in friends.  Truly, I had an abundance... but I was pumping and scrolling now.  It changes things.  Even just a bit...enough to notice.

Becoming pregnant, having besties move away, becoming the first mama of all my friends created an uncertainty within myself of these friendships.

Here is what I have learned:

1.  Becoming a 'mom' does not mean you need mom friends.

Make bonds with those that inspire, thrill and enlighten you.  Authentic friendships based on true connection will last a lifetime.  Mom friends will come when they come.

2. Your squad is closer than you think.

When you go through tough or life-changing times, your women will arise from the rubble.  They won't give you everything you need, but they won't criticize your journey and your current status.  They will challenge you, support you and not let you wallow too long.

3. Friendships are all about grace, and if grace isn't there...it's not a true friendship.

Being in committed friendships means we are given freedom to say it like it is and in the same breath also take the other as they are.  What has kept a lot of my squad friendships alive has been the 'come as you are' attitude that is also graced with a healthy 'say it like it is'. 

I am deeply in love with my women.  Each and every one has changed me, lifted me up and brought me into deeper connection with God, my spirit and the ground beneath me.

Know your squad, and if you don't... watch who comes into the rubble with you.  They are the golden ones.

In alphabetical order, because there is no real order | Beth | Christie | Gillian | Heidi | Jasmine | Nicole | Tasia