In this video I share with my Best Friend how much I love her gift to me. The Darling Magazine continues to bless my life.
Character Development is what motivates me in my writing, reading and watching of film and television.
I am sure it has driven my close people a bit nuts to listen to me poke holes in plots as I watch/read them, and even more so when I see a character that doesn't hold up.
People are complex and layered. Showing that through the written and performance mediums is easier said then done and I will be the first to say that the art form of character development is a craft I am still learning.
Over the past few months I have been working alongside Kirstin Howell to develop strong female characters for a television series. I am consistently challenged by her edits to develop these women to be multi-dimentional.
As a society we like stereotypes because they are easier to understand and quick to put together. Thats the problem, people are not easy to understand and there are layers upon layers of life that create a person to be who they are and to do the things they do. No one is just one stereotype. We may be born to have certain personality traits and certain ways of doing life, but that doesn't mean we can't divert from that. In fact, more often than not, we do.
Through this process I am learning to challenge what I think of my characters and admit that as a writer I don't know everything that informs their decision yet and I may never will. Writers are not God, they are conduits for a story that the characters speak from. I think anyone who has written for the integrity of the story realizes that they are there to serve the characters and their story.
The writer serves the characters, the characters don't serve the writer.
The fun part of my work is that this all applies to real life. I can only assume that I will never know the whole of a person, but I can be present with them and with myself. I can allow myself to believe that we are more complex than an 'assumption'. Life isn't as simple as a statement or a stereotype. Life goes deep and we'd better be ready to get dirty in the process.
Strong Characters I Adore:
Jane Eyre - Jane Eyre by Charlotte Brontë
Christina Yang - Greys Anatomy by Shonda Rhymes
Aibileen Clark - The Help by Kathryn Stockett
Phillip Jennings - The Americans by Joe Weisberg
Sansa Stark - Game of Thrones by George R.R. Martin
Inhale. Exhale.
There is beauty in the breathing. In the being still and letting the heart do it's work.
Hearts. We all beat and ache. To live is to feel and to feel is to live.
I have often found that when I listen to my heart beating, I want to be in the open air. I want to feel the wind. And wind is like stringed instruments that match our beats. Calling us into something deeper.
In the past, when my heart ached in ways I couldn't fathom, I would drive to the ocean.
I would scream the guttural depths of myself into the air. I would lose my breath.
And now, as the aches come and go, I find I am left wanting to whisper.
The heavens can hear our ache before it has been uttered.
I trust that as we breathe that the Heart will do it's work.
I'll trust we'll thrive.
Inhale. Exhale.
In this video I dish on my t-shirt dress from The Gap Canada and getting my locket fixed.
Making things a little more personal around here with a monthly newsletter.
Enjoying the Public Gardens in Halifax N.S. - Captured by Nicole Payzant
Creating a balanced weekend has become my little piece of heaven in what can be stressful or busy seasons. The more busy I am, the more protective I am about how I spend my weekends. Down time is essential to pour out during the weeks into our jobs, our families, our friends and our passions.
Five strong elements to a successful weekend lifestyle.
1. Plan for the week to come.
I do this to stay sane and I preferably do most of it Friday night. It can be as simple or as complex as it needs to be. My personal week prep is somewhere in the middle. Figuring out the next weeks wants, needs, and musts as soon as possible leaves me free to enjoy my time over the weekend.
2. Quiet time.
Reading, napping, journaling. A bath. Anything quiet.
3. Quality time with family.
This can be complex for us, as we have a fair amount of family members who want to see our toddler on a regular basis. We do our best and try to share the time. The most complicated is during a holiday weekend or weekend of birthdays. For some reason our families all have birthdays in pairs. Our fathers share the same birthday week, Our mothers the same birthday month only a week after mothers day, both close cousins share the same birthday week, grandparents etc. It means that outside of the typical holiday weekends we spend 4 other weekends trying to split our time. Sometimes this means we don't see them on their birthdays because we have our own personal commitments. This is just how it is sometimes. Quality weekend visits are better than rushed ones.
4. A Seasonal Activity
Recently it has been the beach, and we recently went to the public gardens after our Saturday morning farmers market run. Other times its winter walks, skating, etc. Find a seasonal activity you love and incorporate it. Fresh air is always best.
5. Enjoy your person.
When you live with someone, especially when you live together with children it can be easy to let the busy week mean that you don't get that time to see each other outside of "Wow, that was a rough day." Generally speaking I mostly ache for those Saturday nights in, sipping wine and taking a bite out of food Jeremy made for us while we watch our favourite shows and talk in-between. It's our most bonding time and we often end up falling into some sort of laughter or revelation after our Saturday nights together.
A typical weekend for us
Friday Night : Prep for the week to come.
Saturday: Farmers market / chore morning, Quiet time, Seasonal activity, Quality time alone together.
Sunday: Church, Quiet time, Family time, Detox night / Dancing (blues dance).
Click the link for what I have been listening to this summer.
Less than a month left of summer!
Gillian has been a powerful presence in my life. Her integrity, her joy, her desire to go deep and her insatiable eye for beauty in nature and in fashion has a way of captivating anyone who knows her.
How would you describe yourself?
I would describe myself as a designer, a grower, a writer, a beauty seeker, and an adventurer.
What role does creativity play in your life?
Creativity gives me freedom and joy. It’s what brings me life. It gives a voice, a visual and a vessel to the things I feel led to communicate and share with others. I like to capture and create beauty and share it with others so that they might be inspired and reflexively be given the permission to pursue what is in their own hearts.
What are you currently working on?
I have come to realize I have a trio of creative outlets that are all supporting of one another to uphold my creative fulfillment. Fashion is a way for my creativity to express itself visually and sculpturally. I am currently working on a collection of women’s outerwear –coats specifically. Some are sculptural, others have clean lines. It’s been a lot of fun but a huge challenge as it’s the first time I am hoping to have the collection made into multiples to sell in the future. Fashion can be a very intimate art form as you are making something for someone to literally put on themselves to embody the art you have created. I want women to feel confident and inspired when they wear my designs.
I grow vegetable gardens, all through the year in the cold climate of Nova Scotia. Gardening has been my solace in times of creative blockage and self-doubt. Gardening gives me a peace that I do not get from my other work. In some ways it is a spiritual practice that teaches me to be joyful and thankful for the abundance in my life, and what I was able to co create with the earth! Last year I was harvesting cold tolerant lettuce varieties all winter long. These were grown underneath mini hoop tunnels that we built over my garden beds.
And finally in the last 3 years I have gotten into writing a lot. I write poetry, and I am looking to find an outlet to share it with others very soon. Writing is a way that I can communicate my ideas and feelings very directly and uninterrupted. It gives a voice to my creativity, and it also keeps mesane. With some of my other creative outlets that involve a much longer process to completion, there is not an immediate relief and encouragement that comes from the output of creative energy. For me, when it comes to writing, there is this immediate relief and satisfaction. I’ve come to realize I need this trio in order to feel positive and like there is a healthy flow and balance to my creative expression.
What was the last book/movie/podcast ect that left an impression on you?
The gifts of imperfections by Brene brown was the last book that left an impression on me. She researches shame and vulnerability, and how overcoming shame and living a life where we allow ourselves to live fully present and be vulnerable in relationships with others is what guides us toward living a more wholehearted life. What resonated with me most was how cultivating a sense of gratitude for the good things in our lives really positively shapes both our self-image and our relationships with others. Brene brown really outlined to me areas I could improve in to live a more healthy and positive creative life that is well balanced. She talks about cultivating authenticity, self-compassion, resilience, gratitude, faith, creativity, play, rest, meaningful work, and laughter. She talks about how cultivating these key positive traits and practices in our lives, help us to live in a way that engages with others from a place of worthiness.
What advice would you give to other creatively driven people?
Advice I would give to other creatively driven people would be that I’d like to tell them not to compare themselves, and their accomplishments to others but I know they still will, because in today’s world it’s difficult not to. However, it is just not a fair thing to put yourself through. It’s so easy to stack everybody else’s accomplishments and lives so high and measure yourself as falling so far behind. It is not an accurate representation of the truth. Everybody feels the same way at some point in terms of not feeling good about where they are at. Everybody has different opportunity’s and advantages or disadvantages that make it easier or harder to end up where they are, so it’s never fair to measure your life next to someone else’s when all the variables are completely different. Instead try to remind yourself of the progress you have made, even if your progress is slow, because sometimes slow is the only manageable pace for the season you are in. seasons of progress and productivity come and go. The kinder and more gracious you are with yourself, the more confident you will be in what you have to offer the world creatively. I have found that seasons of productivity will come a lot easier when you are loving and respecting your inner artist in all its goodness as well as shortcomings. Another piece of advice would be If you feel stuck in some way, sometimes finding another creative outlet can support and jumpstart the area you felt stuck in.
Well over half way through 2017 it's time to take pause and reassess how the year and it's lifestyle goals have progressed.
"Carefully curate lifestyle choices to reflect who I am." - Winter 2017 Post.
In all things, there are some choices we/I have made that have boosted our living and others that have not.
Lifestyle Lessons So Far
- If your gut says something isn't for you. It is NOT for you. Nerves and gut are two different things. Discern the difference and act accordingly.
- Having a full fridge of produce will never be a bad thing.
- Invest in any kitchen tool that you will use for your health.
- Sleeping habits are different for everyone. Even kids. Plan travel around the habits. Everyone will be happier in the long run. (especially the main care giver of a child)
- It really does feel better to pay off a debt as soon as possible.
- Always go back to childhood loves. (for me, reading, music, film and television, the beach,)
- Let go of anyone willing to criticize you in front of others. Pass the Grace and move on.
- Know your top five values and keep them high in your mind.
- What you focus on, so do the little ones. (smoothie drinker, book worm, family cuddles, outdoor walks.)
In this video I talk about how I need to start incorporate the weather into my plans more.
Being in the throws of writing drafts of work can be dull, dreary and completely draining.
Truthfully, I don't have time for dull, dreary or draining anymore so I knew that somehow I had to find some gold in the draft making process.
Here is the Gold I have found thus far:
A collaborator who wants to come alongside the work, share in the creative process and challenge the work to become what it needs to be.
I should have realized this years ago, but it is always a tad scary to share an idea / concept you are beginning to work on for fear the sparkle will be shot down. Any creative person knows that an inspiration can be completely dissamated within it's infancy purely out of lack of protection from the wrong influences. The right influence however, can truly bloom the work and become a collaborative process that drives you and the work forward.
An absolute planned and allotted 'I-mean-buisness-and-this-is-happening-now' session for writing/editing.
I often find, that logistical edits are best made in the morning with coffee, creative edits/changes/nueances are made best in the evening with candle and wine, while scrolling through edits and notes are best made whenever the time presents itself and however you are wherever you are.
Setting the tone and wooing myself to the work.
Lighting a candle, pouring a beverage, playing music that fits the tone of the work, dressing to mean business, tidying the work space...all of it, brings an air of mystery into the process. A 'who knows what will happen here, but it is going to be epic' atmosphere.
When I step away, step away.
Truly enjoy the break of thinking when the work is not in front of me. Do other things amidst it all and allow the time of meeting the work to be like meeting with a lover after a long day.
Wedding Photography by Nicole Payzant Photography
We can't prepare for life and what it is going to bring.
If you would have told us ten years ago on our first date that we would have a little loft home off the water in Bedford, a two year old, a passion for making food, watching films and living minimally, we would have not known what to think. If you would have told us that we would fall into a deep despair only a year into marriage, spend another year working ourselves out of that darkness, that we would get 're-married' and end up struggling with long distance during the first year of our daughters life, we would have hardly been able to understand what that meant for us.
What did it mean?
Our ten years means that we have watched each other, from age eighteen to age twenty-eight, evolve.
We have decided that it's better to support our change, interests and differences than not enter into them. We have learned that when we align ourselves with each others desires and dreams, we end up aligning ourselves with a unified vision for our lives that is different from before.
We weren't always minimalists, we didn't always eat well balanced meals and we didn't always share in our love for creativity. We didn't always shower together every night, discussing our random thoughts and ideas before bed and we weren't always aligned with our lifestyle goals.
What does this leave us with?
Do the work of getting on the same page together. Find the passions that are shared and make a habit out of it. Surround yourself with people who get you both individually and as a unit. Cut off anything/anyone that doesn't support you individually and as a unit. Use each other for the strengths. Be okay saying no to people who compromise what you both need. Find your lifestyle theme together and as separate people. Make a daily habit that connects you. Above all, pass Grace to each other because that is the anchor in any storm.
Over the past two months I have been working on two scripts.
One is a pilot episode and the other is forming into a possible stage piece. Much of the beginning stages of writing, for me, is sitting with it. It sounds a bit lazy but in truth,
I need a lot of sitting time.
I close my door, listen to mood music, create vision boards for the projects and exist with it. I surround myself with as much inspiration as I can.
This is what I have been doing.
___
This week I attended a screen writing class to prep for an application for a short film. In truth, I am not sure if I have anything for that particular project, but placing myself in the atmosphere of other creaters is what I need to be doing more.
So I am.
Heres the thing.
I write.
I tell myself this everyday because I forget.
Other people help me forget by not treating me like a writer. Other times, I help myself forget by not treating myself as a writer.
But I am.
So that is that.
I write.
I write here.
I write plays.
I write screenplays.
I write short quotations on Instagram.
I write and I write.
I used to own a ton of movies. Now, with Netflix, Amazon Prime etc. and living a minimal lifestyle it seems less necessary.
I paired down my DVD film collection over the years and decided that for me, I only will pursue owning copies of musicals.
Musicals are not just a collectors item for me, but also a passion. I adore the art form of musicals and I am in the practice of re-watching musicals more often than a non-musical film.
With that as a disclaimer. Here are my Summer Film recommendations from our small collection at home:
1. LALA LAND
New this year, a musical which is an absolute dream for anyone who grew up on 'Singing in the Rain' and everything 'old Hollywood'. I adore Ryan Gosling and Emma Stone and was completely caught up in the tale of two people trying to make their dreams happen. Set in the 'love it or hate it' L.A., the best time of year to watch it, is when you too, are sweating on your couch with the fan blowing. Another day of sun anyone?
2. MAMA MIA
Another summer musical set in Greece with everything 'Summer Love' and hilarity in the mix. It's the perfect mother / daughter summer evening date. Lemonade anyone?
3. FATHER OF THE BRIDE
Classic rom-com with the focus on the fathers inability to relax and let live. Martin Short and Steve Martin have a way of keeping me in stitches every time I watch it. EVERYTIME. Also... there are some tears to match the comedy. Tissues anyone?
4. PIRATES OF THE CARIBBEAN
Maybe it's being set in the Caribbean that makes it perfect for summer or maybe it's my memories of watching this film with my cousin during summer sleepovers. Our fingers covered in dorrito crumbs, burping from the insane amount of pop and gummy worms we inhaled. Either way, this one is a summer movie of nostalgia for me. Doritos anyone?
5. ANNE OF GREEN GABLES
From childhood this series was always watched in the summer. Being maritimers only a skip and a hop away from Prince Edward Island, our connection with Anne is deep in our veins and of course every single line of this Made for TV movie series has been memorized forwards and backwards. Raspberry Cordial Anyone?
Films I don't own but would re-watch for summer time
- The Notebook
- The Parent Trap (1997)
- Singing in the Rain
- Then & Now
- Finding Nemo
We do so much to tell her that she should be thinking differently. How about meeting her where she is at?
A lost art.
1.How would you describe yourself?
In progress…. Constantly evolving creatively, professionally, as a parent, wife, woman and human being.
2.What role does creativity play in your life?
Creativity is a craving of honesty, truth. Being creative is when I feel closest to God and my true self.
3.What are you currently working on?
I am always writing poetry… interesting words or ideas on slips of paper, lines of a poem in whatever journal I am carrying around, complete poems in a folder on my iPad.
As a drama teacher, I often have some sort of production idea brewing… currently a piece using black and white makeup, to give the look of an old black and white film, as well as one on the history of Fultz House, a historic manor located in the town I teach in.
More specifically, I am writing my first novel.
4.What was the last book/movie/podcast etc. that left an impression on you?
I recently finished reading “Love Warrior” by Glennon Melton Doyle. Wow! It is the most loving and compassionate feminist manifesto I’ve ever experienced. It confirmed many things I knew already and encouraged me to love myself even more profoundly.
5.What advice would you give to other creatively driven people?
Creativity takes time. You have to schedule it in. When I leave it to chance, the ideas get frustrated with me and they take off, but if I take the time to write them down as they make themselves known, I can do more, write more, create more.
Also, it’s important to book time in your schedule. For me, predominantly creative through writing, I am happiest when I have a regular time in my routine to read, write, walk, meditate and so on. I live a chaotic and loud life as a drama teacher and mom to two boys, so scheduled “me” time, reflective, quiet time and time to sit my ass in a chair and write is not just crucial, but where I find balance and peace.
From my Bookshelf.
It's no secret that I adore reading and I adore the changing seasons.
Surrounding my home with little bits of seasonal decor / items keeps me feeling fresh and renewed daily. It's a trick I play on my anxious spirit and I love how it grounds me.
For the Summer these reads already on my bookshelf are the perfect fit for hot days in a hammock, on a beach or even curled up on the couch while it rains.
Anne of Green Gables - Lucy Maud Montgomery
Being a Canadian east coaster means this just comes with the territory for summertime. Not only is summer the time of year we visit the Island but it is also the setting of most of this classic book.
The Help - Kathryn Stockett
Not only is this a rapid read, but it is deep and comical. I have a hard time with books about racism, the war etc. Mainly because I find they leave me greatly affected and sad. Which, of course is important and something I believe any piece of artistic work should aim to do. Reveal truths and be raw. But one isn't always in a place where being deeply saddened by literature is desired. This book brings such a great literary addition to my library.
The Nest - Cynthia C'Aprix Sweeney
You either love it or hate it, and I LOVED it! Maybe it's the way this writer makes everything feel classy and absolutely real at the same time, or maybe it was the ending. Either way, family dramas are always a win for me. I read this quickly.
Better Than Before - Gretchen Rubin
I read this last summer alongside my Aunt and underlined the heck out of it. Reading about personality and characteristic tendencies is a great discussion tool and there was nothing like sitting on my Aunt and Uncles porch with white wine while my toddler napped discussing our own traits in the summer heat. Reading this book and the conversation around it is one of my favorite summer memories.
Power hour.
An hour set aside to collectively, or solo work through items of a project / work to create movement and flow in a short period of time.
This is how one does it.
1. Show up.
The real struggle is in the first step. Show up. Just show up for yourself to do this.
2. Set the timer.
One solid hour. Sixty Minutes of focus. It's a thing.
3. Take no more than 2 minutes to make a list.
Seriously, don't think hard about it, write down everything you can think of and the moment you have to stop to think about 'one more thing', Stop. The hour isn't worth anything that is not on the top of your mind.
4. Power through
Make the decisions, the calls, the scheduling and do don't let fear stop you. How? Accept that you may make the wrong decision, you may rush it or it might not be right. Decide that the task doesn't match your values and cross it off. Who cares. You did something.
5. Listen to the timer.
Once the sixty minutes is up. Stop. You did it.
Don't overthink this process.
Less is ALWAYS more.
Making space.
At the beginning of the summer I wrote down my three values this season.
Writing. Beach. Water
Three things.
Somehow I keep finding ways to sabotage them. Be it adding another responsibility to my list, saying yes to something I felt obliged to say yes to. Make my weekends busy with to dos when I could have been at the beach, the list is endless.
Before I enter August, the mid way mark, I want to honour myself and these three values. Because clearly I haven't done it yet.
How?
When I review the upcoming week ask myself, is what is filling my days and time reflective of these three values, writing, beach and water?
If not, then do what needs to be done to postpone, delegate, renegotiate but do this every Sunday.
Begin each week knowing that I am honouring these things.
Every season has it's needs and goals. This summer I need to respect myself and these values long enough that they get heard.