Painted Lady Butterflies appeared on our patio the week Autumn arrived.  They are spending every afternoon feeding on our flowers.

Hello Autumn!  

Welcome in and sit with me a bit.  Tell me what you have for me to learn and show me what I already know to be true.

Autumn is here.  It's brisk air teases me daily.  A bit of Summer and a bit of Autumn mixed together.  I'd like to think this is the time of year that nature plays a song the same as Spring.  It's a teasing and a tugging of the heart.

This Autumn in my life

- Exploring this whole 'Hygge' thing. (if you don't know this trend, look it up!)
- Continue embracing beverages of the season and maintaining water intake.  (Hot chocolate, Spice teas, red wines)
- Add to the book stacks (reading under blankets)
- Light the candles and start pursing the pitches and the 'Show Bible' (television pitching)
- Host more. 
- Eat like a queen.
- Autumn activities with the toddler.

It's no secret that I love seasons.  That idea of a season changing and bringing something new.  I love seeing what three months can bring and finding ways in which to celebrate them.

TO CELEBRATE:

We had a few friends in, ate a skillet of S'mores, BBQ sausages and other snacks.  We caught up, shared laughs and walked down to the water to light some sparklers.  It was simple really but in life, it's the simple things that count. 

Celebrating summer is more than just a reason to have a party, it's a reason to reflect and look forward on what is to come.

Here's to you Summer and every little lesson you gave me.

Inhale.  Exhale.

There is beauty in the breathing.  In the being still and letting the heart do it's work.  

Hearts.  We all beat and ache.  To live is to feel and to feel is to live.  

I have often found that when I listen to my heart beating, I want to be in the open air.  I want to feel the wind.  And wind is like stringed instruments that match our beats.  Calling us into something deeper.  

In the past, when my heart ached in ways I couldn't fathom, I would drive to the ocean.  
I would scream the guttural depths of myself into the air.  I would lose my breath.  

And now, as the aches come and go, I find I am left wanting to whisper.  
The heavens can hear our ache before it has been uttered.  

I trust that as we breathe that the Heart will do it's work.  
I'll trust we'll thrive.

Inhale.  Exhale.

Enjoying the Public Gardens in Halifax N.S. - Captured by Nicole Payzant 

Creating a balanced weekend has become my little piece of heaven in what can be stressful or busy seasons.  The more busy I am, the more protective I am about how I spend my weekends.  Down time is essential to pour out during the weeks into our jobs, our families, our friends and our passions.

Five strong elements to a successful weekend lifestyle.

1.  Plan for the week to come.  

I do this to stay sane and I preferably do most of it Friday night.  It can be as simple or as complex as it needs to be.  My personal week prep is somewhere in the middle.  Figuring out the next weeks wants, needs, and musts as soon as possible leaves me free to enjoy my time over the weekend.  

2. Quiet time.

Reading, napping, journaling.  A bath.  Anything quiet.

3. Quality time with family.

This can be complex for us, as we have a fair amount of family members who want to see our toddler on a regular basis.  We do our best and try to share the time.  The most complicated is during a holiday weekend or weekend of birthdays.  For some reason our families all have birthdays in pairs.  Our fathers share the same birthday week, Our mothers the same birthday month only a week after mothers day, both close cousins share the same birthday week, grandparents etc.  It means that outside of the typical holiday weekends we spend 4 other weekends trying to split our time.  Sometimes this means we don't see them on their birthdays because we have our own personal commitments.  This is just how it is sometimes.  Quality weekend visits are better than rushed ones.

4. A Seasonal Activity 

Recently it has been the beach, and we recently went to the public gardens after our Saturday  morning farmers market run.  Other times its winter walks, skating, etc.  Find a seasonal activity you love and incorporate it.  Fresh air is always best.

5. Enjoy your person.

When you live with someone, especially when you live together with children it can be easy to let the busy week mean that you don't get that time to see each other outside of "Wow, that was a rough day."  Generally speaking I mostly ache for those Saturday nights in, sipping wine and taking a bite out of food Jeremy made for us while we watch our favourite shows and talk in-between.  It's our most bonding time and we often end up falling into some sort of laughter or revelation after our Saturday nights together.

A typical weekend for us

Friday Night : Prep for the week to come.
Saturday: Farmers market / chore morning, Quiet time, Seasonal activity, Quality time alone together.
Sunday:  Church, Quiet time, Family time, Detox night / Dancing (blues dance).

I used to own a ton of movies.  Now, with Netflix, Amazon Prime etc. and living a minimal lifestyle it seems less necessary.  

I paired down my DVD film collection over the years and decided that for me, I only will pursue owning copies of musicals.

Musicals are not just a collectors item for me, but also a passion.  I adore the art form of musicals and I am in the practice of re-watching musicals more often than a non-musical film. 

With that as a disclaimer.  Here are my Summer Film recommendations from our small collection at home:

1. LALA LAND

New this year, a musical which is an absolute dream for anyone who grew up on 'Singing in the Rain' and everything 'old Hollywood'.  I adore Ryan Gosling and Emma Stone and was completely caught up in the tale of two people trying to make their dreams happen.  Set in the 'love it or hate it' L.A., the best time of year to watch it, is when you too, are sweating on your couch with the fan blowing.  Another day of sun anyone?

2. MAMA MIA

Another summer musical set in Greece with everything 'Summer Love' and hilarity in the mix.  It's the perfect mother / daughter summer evening date.  Lemonade anyone?

3. FATHER OF THE BRIDE

Classic rom-com with the focus on the fathers inability to relax and let live.  Martin Short and Steve Martin have a way of keeping me in stitches every time I watch it.  EVERYTIME.  Also... there are some tears to match the comedy.  Tissues anyone?

4. PIRATES OF THE CARIBBEAN

Maybe it's being set in the Caribbean that makes it perfect for summer or maybe it's my memories of watching this film with my cousin during summer sleepovers.  Our fingers covered in dorrito crumbs, burping from the insane amount of pop and gummy worms we inhaled.  Either way, this one is a summer movie of nostalgia for me.  Doritos anyone? 

5. ANNE OF GREEN GABLES

From childhood this series was always watched in the summer.  Being maritimers only a skip and a hop away from Prince Edward Island, our connection with Anne is deep in our veins and of course every single line of this Made for TV movie series has been memorized forwards and backwards.  Raspberry Cordial Anyone?

Films I don't own but would re-watch for summer time

- The Notebook
- The Parent Trap (1997)
- Singing in the Rain
- Then & Now
- Finding Nemo

From my Bookshelf.

It's no secret that I adore reading and I adore the changing seasons.  

Surrounding my home with little bits of seasonal decor / items keeps me feeling fresh and renewed daily.  It's a trick I play on my anxious spirit and I love how it grounds me.

For the Summer these reads already on my bookshelf are the perfect fit for hot days in a hammock, on a beach or even curled up on the couch while it rains. 

Anne of Green Gables - Lucy Maud Montgomery

Being a Canadian east coaster means this just comes with the territory for summertime.  Not only is summer the time of year we visit the Island but it is also the setting of most of this classic book. 

The Help - Kathryn Stockett

Not only is this a rapid read, but it is deep and comical.  I have a hard time with books about racism, the war etc.  Mainly because I find they leave me greatly affected and sad.  Which, of course is important and something I believe any piece of artistic work should aim to do.  Reveal truths and be raw.   But one isn't always in a place where being deeply saddened by literature is desired.  This book brings such a great literary addition to my library.

The Nest - Cynthia C'Aprix Sweeney

You either love it or hate it, and I LOVED it!  Maybe it's the way this writer makes everything feel classy and absolutely real at the same time, or maybe it was the ending.  Either way, family dramas are always a win for me.  I read this quickly.

Better Than Before - Gretchen Rubin

I read this last summer alongside my Aunt and underlined the heck out of it.  Reading about personality and characteristic tendencies is a great discussion tool and there was nothing like sitting on my Aunt and Uncles porch with white wine while my toddler napped discussing our own traits in the summer heat.  Reading this book and the conversation around it is one of my favorite summer memories. 

Making space.

At the beginning of the summer I wrote down my three values this season.

Writing.  Beach.  Water

Three things.  

Somehow I keep finding ways to sabotage them.  Be it adding another responsibility to my list, saying yes to something I felt obliged to say yes to.  Make my weekends busy with to dos when I could have been at the beach, the list is endless.

Before I enter August, the mid way mark, I want to honour myself and these three values.  Because clearly I haven't done it yet.

How?

When I review the upcoming week ask myself, is what is filling my days and time reflective of these three values, writing, beach and water?

If not, then do what needs to be done to postpone, delegate, renegotiate but do this every Sunday.

Begin each week knowing that I am honouring these things.

Every season has it's needs and goals.  This summer I need to respect myself and these values long enough that they get heard. 

Rainbow Haven Beach, Nova Scotia, Canada.

The Ocean is an Anchor.  

I believe, that it is a place that we can be reminded of our purpose.  Some people say it makes them feel small, but for me, it has always made me feel important.  

That something so grand and so encompassing on the earth comes to lap up on the shores of my life.  That it's whole entirety reflects and interacts with the sky.  

It's a mirror to the heavens.  

Being a coaster by birth means the ocean is in my veins and I understand that for some, it's the mountains, woods, prairies or desert.  Every element that was made is for us to delight in, to see the glory in, and the absolute child-like wonder in.

So Go There
Whatever element in nature speaks to your spirit, I would reach into that.  I would go there and rest in it and find what was made for you there.  So often, we forget that outside our busy lives is the movement of earth.  The inhale and exhale of the heavens touching down to meet us.  

Why?
I come to the ocean not just because I live by it, but because I believe Deep calls to the deep, and that the Grace I seek is embodied in the action of the ocean.  

So I dance, run, play, weep and commune here and spend as much time as I can near the waves of Grace.

Two questions that will bring clarity to everyday and overall life.  
What are my individual values?  What are our collective values?

For individual life, partnership, family, work, team, projects, the importance is the same.
 

Knowing them, declaring them and keeping them at the forefront of ones mind as one makes decisions will be not only empowering, but keep the focus on what truly matters.

I enjoy the simplicity of summing up values in three points:

For Myself Individually:

- To have a balanced variety in life.
- To nourish my mind, body and soul.
- To be surrounded by what brings out the best in me.  (empowering women, ocean air, simple living, space to write.)

For Us Collectively:

- To be active in our lifestyle at home and outdoors. (cooking, creating, exploring, community eventing)
- To intentionally interact with books, music, and other story telling methods.
- To create a creative and enjoyable home atmosphere.

Coming back to these points again and again remind me how to keep it simple, honest, joy-filled and fulfilling of where I/We are supposed to be.

Clockwise from Centre:  Key Rock made by Jasmine Alexander, Light Flower Long Sleeve - Carters from Mimi & Yeye, Pink Cat Heart T-Shirt - Joe Fresh, Heart & Sailboat Rocks painted by Jasmine Alexander, Blue Bird Rock painted by Amy Grace, Blue Jogging Pants - Carters, Jean Shorts - Carters, Rainbow pants - Children's Place, In My Heart: A Book of Feelings - by Jo Witeck & Christine Roussey - Indigo - , Red Hooded jacket - From my childhood, Green Pants - Carters, Pink Dress - H&M, Magnetic Doll - Melissa & Doug from Grandma & Grandpa, Whale Panamas - Carters, Tea Set - Hape From Mimi & Yeye , Grey and White Baseball T - Carters, Caterday Sweater - Joe Fresh, Yoga T-Shirt - Carters

Spring was a great season to watch Zoë explore the getting dressed and undressed process.  She's beginning to show preference and have favourites.  She loves anything that has a cat on it, and absolutely ADORES her whale pyjamas that match perfectly with the whale she was given for Christmas by an Auntie.  Zoë also fell in love with this red hoodie jacket that her Grandma put on her one windy spring day (that I wore for a short time as a toddler.  Apparently I outgrew it quickly) fortunately it not only fits Zoë perfectly, but it is a staple item that would never go out of style or loose its quality appeal.  

Littered about this capsule are a few story rocks which Jasmine and I made for Zoë over the past 2 years.   We are into a stage where she not only enjoys putting them in and out of a bucket, but is able to identify the images and make scenes with them.  

Also worth mentioning now that we are in a new stage of toddlerhood with Zoë, the 'In My Heart Book' is a perfect story time read that captures what each emotion feels like.  As an adult I relate so well to the descriptions and often find myself appreciating the reminder of how valid our feelings really are. 

With this Spring Capsule I know that the life of her t-shirts and blue joggers will soon be outgrown and so they will continue to be around this Summer for as long as we can wear them!

Top Left - Clockwise: Second hand shirt - from bestie, Darling Magazine Issue #19 - Darling Magazine, White Yoga T - Bavhana Yoga Boutique Halifax, Black pants - H&M, Lace sleeve shirt - Amazon, WE: A Manifesto for Women Everywhere - Indigo , Home is Where the Anchor Drops Pyjama set - La Vie En Rose, Homemade Painted Succulent planter by Nicole Payzant and my daughter, Giving Key : Claim - The Giving Keys, Jean Shorts - Bluenotes, Heels - Call it Spring, Striped long sleeve - Pseudio, 3 sockets - Psuedio, Felt Hat - Indigo

As the season began I realized I needed a few practical items. A long sleeve shirt for the chill that still hung in the air, a light weekend pyjama set that was warm but cool enough for the changing temperatures, and finally, a pair of black heels that I can truly wear and use.  Every woman who wants to add that touch of heels should have a black pair.   Although I do own a pair of black heels they are what theatre would call "Character Shoes".  My character shoes are thicker, with a strap and are perfect for performances but not the type of heels I want to throw on for a classy night downtown.  These new heels are the perfect size for me.  They are not very tall but still add a kick of 'sass and sexy' to my dark jeans or dresses.

Coral has begun to creep into my wardrobe and I am enjoying that pop of colour when I desire to stand out a bit more. 

What isn't pictured here is 4 other sweaters that I have out year round along with 2 pairs of jeans (light and dark), tank tops for wearing underneath shirts and a few other t-shirts that tend to stick around from season to season.  

What I am loving the most lately about my capsule wardrobes is that with every season change I am seeing my needs lesson as I purchase items carefully and complete enjoyment with the clothes that I do wear.  Nothing makes a woman feel more of herself than a well curated wardrobe.  

No longer teenagers spending a Friday night together, we are adults with careers, a child, two families, a loft condo and all the complexities that those life changes bring. 

We are each others everyday rhythms.  Weaving in and out of lists, expectations and events.  
How do we find each other within the calendar outside of the dailys?

We aim for twice a month.  A bi -weekly affair.  Sometimes its simple, sometimes its extravagant.  

This Spring some of our dates have been:

- Going to the cinema to see Wonder Woman
- Driving to Mahone Bay and walking along Queensland Beach
- An impromptu Lunch at Finbars for Burgers and Beer
- A Breakfast at Portland Street Creperie  

At home, we squeeze in little moments daily.  Nightly showers together before bed.  A TV show we are enjoying together, making dinner with wine and music on... anything to set the ambience and mood for passion and desire to linger with us as we do 'the normal'.

For us, its not about anything out of the ordinary, but those moments that tie us together closer.  
 

Spring has kept me on my toes and amidst the weeks that have flown by I have found these items have brought joy into my life.  
Clockwise from Middle.

1. Darling Magazine Issue #19. - A gift from best friend Jasmine Alexander.  She knows how much I adore creatively driven work and this magazine does creative women to a whole new level.  

2. WE : A Manifesto for Women Everywhere by Gillian Anderson and Jennifer Nadel -  I purchased this book to read over the Spring months.  It is a beautiful ode to what the elements of living an intentional whole life would look like for any person.  It also specifies  what it means to also carry womanhood along with these values and is a perfect way to drive home how important values of 'honesty, kindness, grace etc' in life and with each other as women.  I will re-read this when I need a boost.

3. Succulent in Mini Planter  - The planter painted by my Best Friend Nicole Payzant and daughter Zoë for my birthday.  It was such a touching item to receive and filled me with joy to know that they both enjoy time together doing various activities.  The succulent is a perfect addition to my spring decor. 

4. White Life Factory Water Bottle - I had a light blue bottle that broke when I dropped it without the lid attached.  They have since come out with many designs and sizes, but I realized that white is just fine for me.  I adore this brand, due to the glass (I don't like metal made bottles that leave an aftertaste of the metal) , and shape.

5. Sephora Face Sheet Masks - A gift from my husband and daughter on Mothers Day.   These masks are fun and good to have around when I feel my skin needs a bit of self care.

6. Essie Nail Polish  - A new shade for every season is a fun thing to look forward to.

7. Fiction by L.A. Eyeworks Eye Glasses - As a first time eye glass wearer I didn't know what to think, but not that I have these I realize how blurred my vision had become for long distance and TV screens.  I love how this pair makes me feel more of myself.  I don't feel different.  Just more of me. 

8.  LA LA LAND Film - Growing up I loved collecting movies.  It's hard in a culture where media is becoming more and more stored electronically to collect copies.  I made the decision as I embraced a more minimalist/intentional life that I would commit to buying and collecting musicals.  Musicals are not only a childhood enjoyment for me, but my favourite art form.  Having a copy of a musical fills me with joy.  

Gallery wall in living room.

We used starting a family as a catalyst into analyzing our own excessiveness.  As we have progressed over the past two years we have found that a few things for us will always remain true.

We value quality over quantity in every aspect of our lives.

We often regret impulse buys or decisions.   We've never regretted taking our time.

We value fresh air, good food, in-depth story telling, a spacious atmosphere and quality time with those we love.

When we focus more on our values and less on what we can show off of our lives, we have realized that we are able to truly be enjoying and at peace with the lives we lead. 

Your values and life goals may be different than ours and that is okay.   Honouring those values and goals is a sure way to find direction, peace and insight into the life that will bring you stability.  

*Other lifestyle priorities - capsule wardrobes, buying local, reading books, family time, healthy eating, walking and bed time routines.

Once you get to 'Two Years Old', experiences become not just a moment in time, but a tangible experience that you get to turn over and over again.  Like a smooth rock in your hand, you let the experience rest inside you.  Pondering its shape, texture, edges and feelings.  

This is what thrills me about the new stage we are in.  We get to curate, cultivate and choose moments for each other.  

We've created little moments as we go and now we are getting into new things.

This time:

Our provincial wildlife park.  A place to celebrate local and national wildlife while supporting the rehibiltation of those injured, and in the some cases, give them a perminate home after being badly injured.  While many of these animals have been born into captivity from zoological institutions around North America, what we love about this park is how it enforces to the public that these are animals we are to learn about, respect, rehabilitate and give the appropriate habitats to.  

Introducing Zoë  to and reminding ourselves, how important our wildlife is, the responsibility that we have to conserve their habitats, their safety and their future is a beautiful experience and one we want to continue exploring.   

This was a fun way to spend our Victoria Day and one we'll be revisiting as we grow.

*Special moments: 
Seeing a Canadian Goose all wrapped up.  Maybe warming a nest or just sleeping.  Either way, just as majestic as if it was flying.
Zoës reaction to the Arctic Wolves.  Pure enthralment. 
 

Birthday Rosé

Clarity.

There is something about this birthday, this year, this moment in time where I am stepping into a new clarity.  A clarity I haven't been able to grasp onto before.  This is different.

If anything 27 taught me, it was to make.  Make with abandon and without reason.  Good things come from making and clarity comes while one is in absolute abandon to their own inhibitions.  Deciding to write and produce 'The Mom Show' has delivered me into a new comprehension of my own skills, worth and passions.

28.  It's a year I feel called to be incredulous with my work and my reach.  I can clearly see the time in which I need to set aside to pour into projects and I can clearly see how my focus will not only bleed into my own joy and peace but also into the atmosphere around me.  

It is daunting to know that when I toasted 28 I was also welcoming in a new sense of 'limitlessness'.  The word of my 27th year has journeyed with me and now I have come to a new word.  

Claim.  Alongside Incredulous.  To believe that what I have been given, no matter how incredulous it may seem, has a life in this world.  Call it daring, call it wild, call it whatever you will.  

Whatever 'this' is, this is what I was made for. 

In this video I tell my bestie about the trench coat from Pseudio I just bought.  
xo

Zoë Wing Zhe Lai - Two Years Old.

Coming alongside this little spirit to raise her into her place in this world has created an evolution in us.  Finding more purpose, meaning and intention in the 'dailys'.  Letting go of the unnecessary, making time for what creates a whole, healthy and functioning family, and growing deeper in a sense of individuality within all of that.

Two years of life has uncovered her independent nature.  There is nothing more stunning than seeing a little woman assert herself and her discernment of her own readiness astounds us.  When she has decided she is ready to learn a new skill, word or game, nothing will stop her.  She has also the patience to wait for her own spirit and body to catch up.  She will not be rushed or pushed into anything.

Peanut Butter Cupcake Cones - Family Tradition

Two years of solidifying our little family and learning about each other.  Quiet moments before the days end, all of us in the bed, even the cat, snuggled in and we inhale that scent of togetherness.

Two years of uncovering her incredible personhood.  

Thankful for this little spirit full of life, for her health, her nature, her ups and her downs.  Every year with her is a blessing.

Childs Pose

I've been learning these past ten years that my vulnerability is what makes me not only stronger, but courageous and real.  Being vulnerable is a refining process and with every step out in bravery that I have taken has lead me here.  I wouldn't trade those risks, those times of despair, heart aches, disappointments or lessons learned for the comfort of staying in my seat.

I feel deeply, I live deeply and because of that, I believe I am called to be deeply vulnerable.  
Even when, I would rather not. 

As I cancelled an event I deeply wanted to see happen, I cracked open Brené Browns book "Rising Strong" and began to read her opening pages.  The timing of reading her words was inspired and I believe I was kept from reading this book until now.  Because now is when I needed it.

"I want to be in the arena.  I want to be brave with my life.  And when we make the choice to dare greatly, we sign up to get our asses kicked.  We can choose courage or we can choose comfort, but we can't have both.  Not at the same time.
Vulnerability is not winning or losing; it's having the courage to show up and be seen when we have no control over the outcome.  Vulnerability is not weakness; it's our greatest measure of courage." - Brené Brown  
 

So, I poured coffee this morning after doing yoga with my almost two year old, cracked open my journal and began to write about how I am still in this.  That being vulnerable and falling is part of this whole process.

I am here and working on these projects for a purpose and that purpose isn't defined or decided by a simple cancelation, or words of critique.  My job is stay grounded, stay on the surf board and ride the wave.  

I choose courage.  I choose vulnerability.  

Being a writer and a task oriented person planners, journals, notebooks, pads of paper... they make me drool.

My problem?  Too many options, layouts, designs, covers, sizes, brands, etc.

I came across the concept of bullet journaling either through youtube or Pinterest.  I am not sure how it happened, but when I did... I was hooked.

Heres the link to the main website.

Heres how I do it.

Every New Year:
1 Journal for Day Planner purposes (Dotted paper)
1 Journal for personal journaling (Lined paper)

Both journals must be of similar size and compliment each other.
For this year?

A Leuchtturm1917 Taupe
A Kate Spade Rose Gold

I peruse my Pinterest board for saved bullet journaling images for the formats I believe would work for me, and then I play.  I have fun and I end up getting a more refined idea of how I want my life to be and feel as I progress throughout the year.  

Here is how I have formatted my bullet journal for 2017:

Introduction Page with Word and Vision Quote of the Year.

Year 2017 Overview

Wellness Wheel Map with inspiring quote

Month to Month Layout 'Migration'

Spring Layout with Goals and Wardrobe Planning

Month of April Intro Page.

A typical day to day layout.

Week Vs. Weekend Lifestyle Goals/Habits

2017 Check in Goals

Book/TV Shows/Movies/Podcast Tracker