Spring Planning.  Bullet Journal. 2017

It's not a secret that this is my favorite time of year.  For me, Spring is reflective of a renewed mind, body and spirit.

Having expierenced two young deaths this winter in my own broader social circle, I realize that Spring may be painful to those around me.  It marks the continuation of living without.  It creates a point in time where everything alive is thriving and everything not alive, has passed.

But I'd like to think there is hope in spring.  Hope that there can be beauty after pain.  Hope that deep sorrow can be planted in this fresh soil and bring forth something, anything.  Anything to remind us that our grief is of value.

I am moved to deeply pray for those of us who know this pain, that we allow ourselves to be renewed again and again.  That we live as quiet reminders for those in the midst of the pain.

We need to be mindfully aware of what we are planting for those around us.  What will they see in our secret little garden? 

Spring's renewal in me:

MIND | Exploring the Film and Television Industry and claiming my value as a writer and creator has opened a 'Secret Garden' for me. I feel like Mary Lennox asking for her 'little bit of earth' and starting to see her garden grow.   I want to stay as hungry for learning, for inspiration and work as I feel now.

BODY | Enjoying the slow exploration of a beauty/hygiene routine.   Mindfully learning about products that I can use, or proper routines for skin care is becoming a meditation.  Slowly applying a hydrating night cream as I contemplate the days blessings and struggles.  

SOUL | Maintaining habits that are good for my overall wellness.  Sleep routines, healthy eating, quiet time, turning my phone off... simple daily check ins that are allowing me to thrive and strive in my life.  Underestimating the power of healthy habits is proving to be a misstep.  

In this episode I tell her about this robe and what I do to pamper myself after a typical week day.

*Note: camera lens was blurry*

Being accepted into the New Waves Program gave the opportunity to attend the Women Making Waves Conference.  Utterly inspiring.

This week I'll be joining eight other women in a five class workshop series through 'Women in Film and Television Atlantic' over the next five weeks.  I feel more than honoured to be chosen for this program and I am inspired to be standing alongside other women in the performing arts industry.

It's humbling to be in a position of learning. In any program here are five things to remember:

1) You Earned It.

It is easy to fall into doubt and comparison when in a position of growth.  It's important to remember that when you have gotten an opportunity to be involved with anything, there was something you did to get you there.  You earned it.  I'll be remembering that I have a seat at this table.  I deserve to sit with these women and learn about writing, directing and editing for film and television and my résumé proves that. 

2) Create space.  

When in a position of learning, learn.  Be open to letting it all in and  sift through it later.  Truthfully, I am not sure how these new skills / knowledge will influence my work.  I know that I want them and I know that this could just be the tip of the iceberg for me. What is important is to create space in your spirit and mind to take it all in.  This is your opportunity to learn something. 

3) See the Beauty.  

Learning is a process and it can be scary, but it can also be incredibly amazing.  I remember being a student in an eight month theatre program and being in complete awe of the atmosphere I was in, let alone the teaching I was being given.  Tall windows looked over the one of citys' main streets and mirrors lined one wall.  Eleven other people sat in various forms of stretching as we warmed up our bodies for a class in acting.  It was beautiful to me,  The whole thing.  Be aware that this process is beautiful. 

4) Be Present.  

Where do I go from here?  That is the hovering question.  You need to let it rest and percolate.  Applying what one learns will happen in it's time.  What is important is to be present in the learning and present in the being.  A watched pot never boils. 

5) Document

As soon as one can, document what you have expierenced/learned/walked away feeling thinking. Capturing these thoughts and processes in the moment is priceless.  To be able to look back even at a month and realize growth, awareness and clarity of questions.  It is an integral part of any process.  Documenting can be stream of consiousness, via a journal, scraps of paper in the written word.  It can be a video diary, a Blog, a Vlog.  Sketches, photos captured, any form of documentation will be incredibly valuable of this time. 

Lastly

Take yourself seriously and don't take yourself seriously.

Which means,

Honour your value and humble your ego.

Winter 2014.  A typical after party morning.

Over four years ago I was going through a transformation.  Personally and professionally.  I believe it was a defining season of time for me.  It was a time in my life I was at a crossroads of who I wanted to truly become.  I could go in many directions and I knew that whatever I did choose, would be a choice that defined me not just at that moment, but for the future.

During that time I bonded with what I assume will be those life lasting friends that you know in every stage of life.  None of these specific friends were new to me at the time, but the journey I was traveling was a defining moment for the continuation of these friendships.

One of these precious friends sent me a song one night that she had been listening to.

She said: "This is for you.  This is how all of us feel for you and what we are doing with you."  I will never forget it.  

The song?  Rally by Allie Moss <--- Click to listen.

I hold that time of my life close because it did define me and my values.  It shaped me into the woman I am today and I am blessed and honoured by those who stood with me while I sifted through the confusion, the heart break and the pain.  

This week I have been faced with a few reminders of what it means to 'rally'.  I have been reminded of what it means to take action and rally around others.  Whether it is at a distance of someone or some cause, or close with someone or something.  

We are called to rally behind those we love, the causes that break us open and we are called to honour that which moves us.  To stay aware of the pain of others and to stay grounded in what we can truly give.  And when you give, give open, wide and free.  Give endless grace and endless love.

Rally.

"Comedy or tragedy, we'll write this one together.  I'll be there for you....We'll rally, rally, around you." - Allie Moss

In this video I talk to my best friend and highlight my favourite winter accessories and get joined by Kitty at the end.  

The Creatives 2014

We evolve.  We know this.

At least, we should be evolving.  Evolving shows growth, adapting to the life around us and depth inside us.  

Over the past year I have been sensing a change and a needed shift for The Creatives.  I have struggled to identify how to create that appropriate change.  We still need each other, that never changes.  And yet, how we interact and communicate needs to change.

Most of the women who began this group with me were students.  Together we faced our lack of knowledge and we levelled up in education, projects and facing fears.  Then we graduated and began the journey of 'now what'.  We rallied, we traveled, we moved, we life shifted and then we were left with those who were still in the area to meet.
The truth.

We have evolved.  I have evolved.

It's time to acknowledge this.

The Creatives has a place in the now and I have to admit that it's place is not in the same format.  It's time for a new and fresh place for this project.  How?  I am not sure yet.

And thats okay.  It's a bit exciting.  To know that the world is wide open for the creatives again.  That in truth there is a wide open space and there is a corner out there for it.  

I need to raise my glass to the women who came around me for this in the beginning.  Jasmine Alexander, Nicole Payzant, Tasia Craig, Breanne Bandur and Danielle Doiron just to name a few.  And those that joined along the way and graced my home and tinkled wine glasses as we encouraged eacother through the fears, the unknowns.  I honour them.  I respect them.  I am in awe of them.  I truly believe that it was those friday nights at the end of every month that allowed me to gain awareness of myself and my craft.  

And to the next phase?  I raise a new glass and pray that I will be able to stay humble, grounded and sensitive to those who will journey alongside with me yet again.  

Stay shiny, stay vibrant and stay tuned.  

For there is always more where this came from.  

 

A late upload due to busyness and colds.   

All we need is love. 

Lindsay and I met almost two years ago through her sister who taught me how to Swing Dance many years ago now.  Lindsay and I share the same passion for a balanced and whole lifestyle and featuring her this month is a pleasure! Her passion and joy is infectious. Catch more of her here:  http://lindsayumlahrhn.ca

1. How would you describe yourself? 

It's always so strange to try and describe yourself, but I find as a creative, and especially as en entrepreneur it's a constant request, and something that I've had to get quite good at. I'm a fiercely driven, wildly passionate, wholeheartedly authentic, and fiery woman on an empowerment mission. I live life freely, boldly and unapologetically in a constant desire to inspire others to do the same. I'm deeply rooted in my core desires, which can result in me coming on quite strong and confident. I've spent a lifetime building a relationship with myself, which gives me a firm foundation to stand upon, as I connect and reach others through my work.

I'm a wild hearted warrior, natural leader, freedom seeker, magic believer, badass mama, nutrition geek, and yoga goddess. 

2. What role does creativity play in your life?

Creativity not only allows me to be in constant connection with myself, through play, work and life, but it also provides me opportunities to deeply connect to the world and those around me. As an entrepreneur I have to rely heavily on my creativity, it's the bread and butter of my business. From creating daily content that can meaningfully connect with my audience, to speaking engagements, class and workshop development, to writing content for programs. It's intertwined in each aspect of my business, and it allows me the freedom to show up in this beautifully authentic and true way, that speaks profoundly to who I am and what I have to offer.

I also find myself flexing my creative muscles daily when it comes to my daughter. Having a little mind that's being shaped before your eyes encourages you to bring out your inner wild child and tap into your creative genius. Be it coming up with new games or ways to play, exploring arts and crafts, or tactfully coming up with creative ways to navigate the fast approaching terrible twos, it's always coming in handy.

3. What are you currently working on?

I'm working on heaps of things right now, from piecing together exciting workshops and collaborations, speaking and education events with my Healthy Halifax Tribe, continuously creating fun and exciting new yoga flows, and a few new freebies for my Instagram crew, I'm definitely not at a lack of creative projects. That being said the thing that I'm most excited about is the work that I'm currently creating and piecing together for my Loving Myself Loudly Yoga Retreat. This has been a longtime dream of mine, and I vibrate with excitement even just thinking about it. Crafting the most impactful, magical, soul nourishing week, for a group of 15 people ready to make massive changes towards developing a loving relationship with self. Seriously my life's work right here. Also who doesn't love an excuse to travel to exotic places? 

4. What was the last book/movie/podcast etc that left an impression on you? 

This will probably be a strange answer, and I could easily dive into the traditional nuggets like Danielle LaPorte, or Gabrielle Bernstein, which are always soul nourishing and life altering, but the latest thing that I watched that left a massive impression was actually A Chefs Table. 

It's no secret that I'm a total food addict, and I adore watching anything and everything to do with food, but this particular documentary series takes it to a whole new level. It's not only wildly fascinating as they introduce you to a chef, their story and how/why they've pieced together the menu that they have, but it's some of the most beautifully shot film I've ever seen. There's something so captivating about slipping into the mind and passion of a chef, and watching them put that raw passion and heart into a dish. Seeing and hearing the stories of what they've overcome to get where they are, and how the truer they were to themselves the more impact they've been able to make. I just find the whole series wildly inspiring, and definitely drool worthy. 

5. What advice would you give to other creatively driven people? 

Stop thinking and start feeling your way through it! I find so many of us get caught up in the logistics that we can lose sight of why we do what we do. The more rooted and connected we can be with why we choose to create, and allow ourselves to flow from that, the more magic we can create in this world.

Having not yet read on everything "Hygge" yet, knowing if I did, I would not stop.  I have captured five ways I have been using the quiet moments of Winter.

These are:  

1. Reviewing unfinished or old piano pieces along with the new to maintain skill and enjoyment.  
Having a baby stopped me from using my instrument fully for over a year.  Getting back into it with new goals and reasons is bringing joy.
What is a skill that you've let slide or could renew?

2. Skate / Winter walks.  
Being outdoors for a walk or skate refreshes me even on the bitter days.  The concept that it is 'too cold' to enjoy moving outdoors is so often, not true.
What is a time of day or activity you could enjoy outside?

3. Bullet Journaling.  
Spending the Winter weeks getting used to a full on bullet journal and all it can offer me, not only feeds my 'plan-happy-soul', but gives me a creative outlet that I enjoy.
What is an activity that would boost productivity but also be a source of enjoyment?

4. Reading.  
Taking the time to read a stack of books not only is rewarding and stimulating for the brain but it is absolutely fun to take the time to choose a group of titles and get to say you read them and share with others how you felt about each of them.  More table talk options.
What are a few titles that would be great to take off of your check list?  Or better yet, wheres your nearest library?  Peruse there.

5.  Podcasts.  
I am burning through my podcast list these days.  Maybe it is all the time indoors or having them on while I work to motivate me through maundane tasks, but I love them.  Right now I am fascinated with : "Missing Richard Simmons" , "The Goal Digger Podcast" , "Someone Knows Something" and "The Minimalists",  just to name a few.
Scroll through the topics on iTunes or other podcast platforms and you are bound to find something in your interests.

Other activities keeping me all 'winter-slap-happy' : renewing my hygiene routine, baths, finding new TV Shows, dreaming on pinterest, curating my Instagram, meal planning for the week and Using Oh She Glows cookbooks.

Relax, Renew, and Refine this Winter.

Spring is only a month away.

Self Care: Bath Time

Self-care isn't just for the single young twenty somethings who are still in university with student loans to coast on.  Self-care isn't just for the yogis and the wellness coaches.  Self care is for the every person.

The every you and me.

Self care is a bit of honesty.

For me?

Right now, it's lighting a candle in the shower/bath.  A simple reminder that my quiet time is worth a bit of ceremonial due diligence.   It's reminding myself that my dreams matter, I have worthiness to share and that feeling responsible for everyones happiness does not mean that I truly am.

In truth, I doubt my dreams validity, I feel unworthy on what I have to share and feel utterly responsible that those in my life are happy with me and how I do my life.

But Grace.

When we allow some Grace into our lives, it's like that candle I light.  It's quiet, small and peaceful.  Its the peace I am missing when I am busy trying to solve my problems as if I could truly fix it.  Peace can't come while you toss and turn.  Peace comes when you forgive yourself of what you believed you could control and let yourself off the hook.  Peace comes when you start to understand that your worthiness doesn't come from anyone or anything, but from the very being you were made to be.  You are a delight as you are wholly and completely you.  With every flaw and beauty mark.  You were made to be complex and intricate and when we allow ourselves to be as complicated, messy and as whole as we are, there is the Grace that we often forget.  We forgot it one day in our insecurities and our doubts , but it's always been there.  Waiting for us to allow it in again.  And when we do?

Peace.

Light candles, play a song, nap under a luxurious blanket, indulge in a heavenly moment.

This weeks "Best Friend in My Closet" to the best friend is a bit more of an up close and personal conversation about what has been breaking my heart, how I impliment self-care and what I use to empower and re centre myself in weeks that are heavy.

In all honesty, showing up to "The Creatives" is a rebellious act towards fear.  I see it on our faces as we gather around a table and silently admit to each other that our fear almost had us not here today, but something inside each of us said, 'showing up is worth more than what fear would have done to me tonight'.

That is what I aim to see cultivated with us even more this year.  It's a silent but 'actions-speak-louder-than-words' type of battle cry.  The battle cry of women.  Women who are creative.

Truly, that is all of us.  For those of us who show up, it is something we dare to embrace.

Hosting these events, I admittedly feel clumsy, awkward and an imposter.  It's the nature of the beast.  "Don't let them see my nervousness, because they might catch on I have no idea what I am doing." 

Thats the truth of it.  I don't know how to host the Creatives.  I rarely ever feel strong in this role.  But it's important.  It gives us life, and so I press on, and I believe and trust that what God puts in my heart to do, will have a place in this world.

And it does.  The joy we discussed this night was lovely to behold and the struggle to move past our fear was a beautiful part of us that needed us to be tender with it, to hold it gently and give it honour to the energy it takes to be fearless, even for just one minute of one day.

Out of anything for 2017, I sense those who attend The Creatives will deepen in their inidivudal awareness of their own creativity and in doing so we will discover another layer to The Creatives Collective that hasn't existed before.

Stepping into the territory that is ours one day at a time.
 

I have listened to Ellie on her podcast 'Atomic Moms' ever since I gave birth to my daughter almost two years ago.  This woman is the real deal.  She is everything real, raw and fun.  Ellie and I have been in touch off and on over the past two years and I have always enjoyed how she is consistently herself and a grounded human being.  Find Ellie and her work : on iTunes & the Atomic Moms Website

How would you describe yourself?

My toddler would describe me as her personal assistant, my husband would call me his "manic pixie" pain in the butt, and I would describe myself as a sloppy perfectionist.  (But hey, aren't there studies out there saying that messy types are more creative?) I have to admit I spend a lot of time in negotiations with my critical thoughts, or what I like to call the Tribunal of A**holes in my mind.  And as much as I struggle with self-judgment, I am extremely empathetic towards others.  I am learning to accept that I'm definitely at my worst when I'm "over-prepared" and at my best when all my ducks aren't in a row, when I just have to let my instincts kick in.  Also, I'm pretty goofy and I laugh a lot. 

What role does creativity play in your life?

Excuse me while I get melodramatic for a moment: without creativity, WHAT IS THE POINT?!!! Creativity is the magic of life.  I love creating my podcast every week but never have I ever had to be more creative than in my role as mother.  When you forget to bring diaper wipes on a cross-country flight, you've got to get creative.  When it's been raining for three days straight and you're home with a kid who can't read yet and who shouldn't watch hours of television, you've got to get creative.  When you realize that you've been so consumed by the other creative aspects of your life that you haven't gone to the grocery store and now you have to pack a school lunch at 11pm, you get creative.  

What are you currently working on?

I'm in the middle of researching, recording, and editing our upcoming episodes of Atomic Moms Podcast.  On the show, we explore the joys and complexities of caring for our children and ourselves.  I interview best-selling authors, parenting experts, and moms around the world.  It's really important to me that each show feels fresh and honest.  Celebrating the messiness of motherhood is a very big deal to me.  And our international tribe of mom listeners keep us accountable.  If it were just up to me, I'd spend my whole life writing and never showing anyone any of it.  It's imperative that I be accountable to others and have a deadline.  That's when I'm most creative.  

What was the last book/movie/podcast etc. that left an impression on you?

I have a New York Times magazine clipping taped to my desk that I'll slap on a vision board if I ever get around to making one.  Sarah Jessica Parker says: "I have always loved to read for the same reason I love to act, which is that other people's stories are more interesting than my own."  While I think there is enormous value in exploring one own's story, this quote always propels me forward when I'm feeling a bit self conscious about sharing on the podcast.  It reminds me that the process of creation is so much bigger than any one of us.  And it reminds me of the Meisner acting technique:  "Put your attention on the other person."  When we do that, in acting, or in conversation, we drop our self-consciousness and end up revealing a much more authentic part of ourselves in the process. 

What advice would you give to other creatively drive people? 

Fill your creative tank every single day.  Befriend artists in different creative fields.  Some of us "creatively driven" types are so damn serious.  Use every excuse you have to PLAY.  And take more showers than is good for the environment...That's where I get my best ideas. 

Clockwise from the top left:  Stuffed Monkey became this seasons favourite.  (He was a stuffy of mine that I was willing to get rid of and my mother, Zoës Grandma, did not want to see go.  She slyly let Zoë take it home with her on a day she came down with a fever...sneaky grandmothers...), Blue/Grey light jacket | A gift from Auntie from Korea, Grey hair band | Carters, Grey hoodie sweater | Kids Gap, Flower Baseball Shirt | Carters , Duckie/Chick Halloween Costume | Winners, The Secret Life of Squirrels Book | Gift from Great Aunt & Uncle during a visit, it makes us all laugh.  Slip on Shoes | Joe Fresh, Jeans | Second hand from a boy at Church (they are girl jeans).  Girlfriend Jeans | Carters (they did not fit this season due to the width), Plaid Shirt | Carters, Polka Dot Pants | Gift from Auntie from Korea, Grey Flower Dress | Carters, Blue Romper | Joe Fresh, gift from Grandma.

I am finding more and more that no matter how many clothes my child has, it is those few favourites along with the few that work and fit so perfectly that end up being worn over and over again.  

It was fun to go out and purchase a halloween costume for her this year and a few Autumn staples like the Plaid shirt and the baseball long sleeve shirt.  It was even fun to have her Auntie to return from Korea with a few clothing goodies.  Polka dots on a toddler girl is immense fun.

The biggest realization after Autumn was over was that it was time to go buy more socks.  Summer, the season of bare feet, is officially over.  After the first few colder weeks I realized four pairs of socks on rotation were not going to cut it.  So we went out and bought a few more pairs and of course are constantly loosing them...

Toddler socks are so so small.

I just love seeing her seasonal life come to a close like this.  

If anything, these are great memories. 

This video is about January motivation and I highlight two important factors into how to begin a new year.  Claiming your work and what you do and are without shame, and finding joy in the process.
Work and Life should never be too serious we can't find the joy.

Watch to hear more and see the new mug!

Clockwise from top centre :  Folded a second hand blue dress that has been featured before, Felt hat | Indigo, Cable Knit sweater | Suzie Shiers, Wine Dress | BCBGeneration, Socks | Bluenotes, Prestige Jeux Ginseng D'escargot | Korean Product from best friend, Second Hand Blue sweater | Given by another best friend, Folded Black shirt | H&M, Skinny Jeans | The Gap, Brown Faux leather Jacket | Bootlegger , Folded off white tank top | Forever21, Tufted Quarter Length Sleeve Shirt | Modcloth, Nautical Keds | Keds, Happier at Home by Gretchen Rubin (Because I started reading it first day of Autumn) | Chapters, & Grey Duffle Bag | Hershal

This Autumn I was able to enjoy the results of my capsule wardrobing labour and I loved every minute of it.  Some items are missing from this shot, due to being busy and not carefully gathering every piece but on a whole, these are the main articles from the last season.

Three items pictured here that I am sad to part with after this season:  

Nautical Keds : I wore those beauties everywhere and wore them clean apart.  One shoe is fine, but the right shoe came apart along the sole and sides.  

Leaf Earrings:  Left behind by a friend who said to keep them, I've had these earrings for about two years and have always enjoyed wearing them.  They were old and not in the best condition but I was still sad when I lost it's partner.

Faux Leather Jacket: Bought in 2011 from (I believe Bootlegger), this jacket has been fun to pair with dresses, jeans, black pants, skirts etc.  It was the go to for an outfit boost.  After six years, the faux leather began to flake badly around the sleeves and collar.  Sigh...another one bites the dust.

Three items I am thrilled to have as additions this year:

Hershel Novel Duffle Bag:  I have always wanted a trendy duffle bag since being a teenager.  Sleepovers have a way of making you notice these things. Finally, I felt the time was right and found this lovely grey bag.  I love the style of Hershel, especially the shoe compartment in the Novel design.

BCBGeneration Wine Dress:  Bought from a boutique for my good friends wedding, this dress is perfect for autumn with it's wine tone and ability to pair with black hosiery and boots.  It's an Autumn dream dress.

Eye Cream "Prestige, Beaux Ginseng D'escargot" : Given to me by my bestie from her year in Korea this eye cream is a dream.  It rolls on underneath your eyes and has the perfect cooling affect.  Who knew I'd enjoy putting snail stuff on my face.  Take it from me, the Koreans know what they are doing regarding skin care.

It's been just over a year since starting to curate and develop capsule wardrobes and I am starting to see the benefits and careful deliberation pay off.

When you have less choices it frees you to make choices that are truly and abundantly reflective of you.  Now when I get dressed, I feel as if I am meeting with my true self and love the artistry of getting ready.  Sure, I may lust over the endless wracks of clothes in the mall, but in the end, it is those carefully selected pieces that truly give me joy, a sense of self and of purpose.

So long...farewell....

So epically sad to see these go.... they saw me through postpartum and many blues dances.

A series on the types of conversations I have with my best friend about clothes & accessories.  Somewhat foolish, somewhat serious, but mostly a series for the joy of it.
This episode discusses Winter Dresses.

Winter Reflections - Amy Grace

In order for me to truly reflect, I have to set the stage.  The artistry of setting the atmosphere is half the process.  Don the attire, light the candle, crack open the new journal, play the music and surround myself with any tokens of meaning and symbolism.  

The stage has been set, the character (me) has arrived on mark and it's time to begin.

2016 I learned

• I can set in motion anything worthy of doing
• I love sharing work based off of real and relevant topics
• I crave likeminded individuals 
• I enjoy quality in food, clothes & media
• I am a natural at what I do

2017 I desire to

• Have a work practice that truly reflects my goals/visions
• Carefully curate lifestyle choices to reflect who I am
• Develop work relationships via sharing, collaborating and supporting
• Take myself out of my own box.  
• Claim my place as a creator, writer and woman

It seems I have been battling fear from the start and although those roots have been dug out, there are always remnants to weed out.  More and more I get that feeling I was made to be a bit of a fighter.  The timid girl who keeps getting pushed into fights she never wanted, and yet realizes it's the only way she'll get the chaos in order. 

This is my year to claim it.

Claim.