I am coming into the realization that in order for me to focus on writing strong narratives and empowering scripts, means I have to humble the voice inside my own head, dream big and enjoy the journey. 

CONFESSIONAL
I am never not talking to myself.  I have an unending voice that rarely, if ever, quiets.  I chalk it up to being trained in simultaneous and consecutive interpreting.  Interpreters are taught to process all aspects of information, visual and audible in the moment it is being made, and also, retain that information for it's relevancy later within the same communication time frame.  

THIS MEANS
I am highly aware of my own and others emotions, perspective, and insights.  I am constantly struggling to let go of what I understood of others, myself and the world around me.  I am quick to be weighed down by myself and others and I find being in settings where I am unable to take a break from people extremely exhausting on my body, mind and soul.  

AS A WRITER
Embracing these sides of myself is what is going to push me forward into this next stage of my work.  I need to protect my work hours.  To follow my instinct on what will bring me focus.  To let go of trying to be all things to all people.  To have space enough to let my own personality fall to the floor as I write.  To let the fears of what others think of my work / life choices be just background noise to my main thinking process.

AT THE END OF THE DAY
This is my life.  My legacy.  My Joy.  Writing is my calling and if all I ever do is write scripts and have only a small audience for my work, than I believe I will have not only filled the calling, but will have lived a life that overflowed with joy for me and those who live with me. 

Two questions that will bring clarity to everyday and overall life.  
What are my individual values?  What are our collective values?

For individual life, partnership, family, work, team, projects, the importance is the same.
 

Knowing them, declaring them and keeping them at the forefront of ones mind as one makes decisions will be not only empowering, but keep the focus on what truly matters.

I enjoy the simplicity of summing up values in three points:

For Myself Individually:

- To have a balanced variety in life.
- To nourish my mind, body and soul.
- To be surrounded by what brings out the best in me.  (empowering women, ocean air, simple living, space to write.)

For Us Collectively:

- To be active in our lifestyle at home and outdoors. (cooking, creating, exploring, community eventing)
- To intentionally interact with books, music, and other story telling methods.
- To create a creative and enjoyable home atmosphere.

Coming back to these points again and again remind me how to keep it simple, honest, joy-filled and fulfilling of where I/We are supposed to be.

Part of my project this summer is to interview relevant people.  Mostly I am interviewing family, but I also am seeking out the relative persons who have a different perspective on this specific topic.  

It's a bit daunting to approach people, even family members.  Asking them questions.  Questions I know that for them may be personal or even hard to discuss.  For me, it's not about the dirt or the messy complexities that are inevitable.  For me, it's about that gold you get when you look at all sides of something.  Someone. 

To do my work properly I need to be brave enough to probe, respectful enough to relinquish control and perceptive enough to see the angles and depth.  It's a multi dimensional thing.  This thing we call writing.  Creating.  

Making something.  Out of nothing. 

Looking at the surface and not just admiring it's beauty but wanting to get to the depth of where it came from.  I think we were all created to ask questions, doubt, praise and get thrills from the unknown.  We were never made to know everything.  But we were made to reach. 

So I will be reaching for that little bit of Gold we couldn't see beneath the surface. 

Clockwise from Centre:  Key Rock made by Jasmine Alexander, Light Flower Long Sleeve - Carters from Mimi & Yeye, Pink Cat Heart T-Shirt - Joe Fresh, Heart & Sailboat Rocks painted by Jasmine Alexander, Blue Bird Rock painted by Amy Grace, Blue Jogging Pants - Carters, Jean Shorts - Carters, Rainbow pants - Children's Place, In My Heart: A Book of Feelings - by Jo Witeck & Christine Roussey - Indigo - , Red Hooded jacket - From my childhood, Green Pants - Carters, Pink Dress - H&M, Magnetic Doll - Melissa & Doug from Grandma & Grandpa, Whale Panamas - Carters, Tea Set - Hape From Mimi & Yeye , Grey and White Baseball T - Carters, Caterday Sweater - Joe Fresh, Yoga T-Shirt - Carters

Spring was a great season to watch Zoë explore the getting dressed and undressed process.  She's beginning to show preference and have favourites.  She loves anything that has a cat on it, and absolutely ADORES her whale pyjamas that match perfectly with the whale she was given for Christmas by an Auntie.  Zoë also fell in love with this red hoodie jacket that her Grandma put on her one windy spring day (that I wore for a short time as a toddler.  Apparently I outgrew it quickly) fortunately it not only fits Zoë perfectly, but it is a staple item that would never go out of style or loose its quality appeal.  

Littered about this capsule are a few story rocks which Jasmine and I made for Zoë over the past 2 years.   We are into a stage where she not only enjoys putting them in and out of a bucket, but is able to identify the images and make scenes with them.  

Also worth mentioning now that we are in a new stage of toddlerhood with Zoë, the 'In My Heart Book' is a perfect story time read that captures what each emotion feels like.  As an adult I relate so well to the descriptions and often find myself appreciating the reminder of how valid our feelings really are. 

With this Spring Capsule I know that the life of her t-shirts and blue joggers will soon be outgrown and so they will continue to be around this Summer for as long as we can wear them!

In this video I tell my best friend what is going to be on my feet all summer.  
And I also share my love of KEDS! 

Stephanie Hayes - Clark is Salon owner and Hair Stylist of Urban Hair and was introduced to me by my dearest friend Jasmine.  Not only do I absolutely love the atmosphere of Urban Hair, I love Stephanies presence and genuine heart.  No matter where I am at, Stephanie has a way of creating space for connecting and being oneself.  

How would you describe yourself?

I'm an optimist ... that's all I can say, every day , all day, I find good in everything. Being anything but is just a waste of time and energy. Life is to short not to be. Don't get me wrong I do have my cranky days, but they don't last long!

What role does creativity play in your life?

I would not be where I am today if I wasn't creative. My job and business depend on me being creative. Being a hair stylist allows me to channel my artistic side through every client that I do whether It be a simple haircut to a total transformation. Being able to make someone beautiful and make them smile , is how I've learned to grow into the self confident woman I am today.

What are you currently working on?

Well my life is about to change drastically . My only daughter is graduating high school and moving away to go to college, so right now I'm working on not crying everyday ( just kidding). I watch a lot of webinars which help me learn and they offer me inspiration into my business. Right now I'm concentrating on helping my daughter prepare for a new chapter in her life and my life. It's a learning experience for both of us!

What was the last book/movie/podcast etc. that left an impression on you?

The Shack!!! I'm not a very religious person but this movie /book touched my heart in so many ways. To see how the character is so withdrawn and full of hate and then is guided by this woman to see the real meaning of his life and how a tragedy can bring such a transformation is beyond inspirational.

What advice would you give to other creatively driven people?

Stay focused and stay on the path that you want to be on. Don't let anyone sway you from where you want to be in life. Learn from your mistakes, make frequent goals for yourself and learn how to achieve them. Don't be afraid to ask For help, but remember they are your goals and only you can turn them into reality ! Oh and one more thing , take pride in what you do, learn to be self confident and never give up on your journey through life.

Top Left - Clockwise: Second hand shirt - from bestie, Darling Magazine Issue #19 - Darling Magazine, White Yoga T - Bavhana Yoga Boutique Halifax, Black pants - H&M, Lace sleeve shirt - Amazon, WE: A Manifesto for Women Everywhere - Indigo , Home is Where the Anchor Drops Pyjama set - La Vie En Rose, Homemade Painted Succulent planter by Nicole Payzant and my daughter, Giving Key : Claim - The Giving Keys, Jean Shorts - Bluenotes, Heels - Call it Spring, Striped long sleeve - Pseudio, 3 sockets - Psuedio, Felt Hat - Indigo

As the season began I realized I needed a few practical items. A long sleeve shirt for the chill that still hung in the air, a light weekend pyjama set that was warm but cool enough for the changing temperatures, and finally, a pair of black heels that I can truly wear and use.  Every woman who wants to add that touch of heels should have a black pair.   Although I do own a pair of black heels they are what theatre would call "Character Shoes".  My character shoes are thicker, with a strap and are perfect for performances but not the type of heels I want to throw on for a classy night downtown.  These new heels are the perfect size for me.  They are not very tall but still add a kick of 'sass and sexy' to my dark jeans or dresses.

Coral has begun to creep into my wardrobe and I am enjoying that pop of colour when I desire to stand out a bit more. 

What isn't pictured here is 4 other sweaters that I have out year round along with 2 pairs of jeans (light and dark), tank tops for wearing underneath shirts and a few other t-shirts that tend to stick around from season to season.  

What I am loving the most lately about my capsule wardrobes is that with every season change I am seeing my needs lesson as I purchase items carefully and complete enjoyment with the clothes that I do wear.  Nothing makes a woman feel more of herself than a well curated wardrobe.  

In this video I share about what items from my closet won't be making the June - September cut. Halifax. Nova Scotia has temps of -20s in the Winter and +30 degrees C in the Summer. Although we fluctuate often in warm and cool, we need various clothing items to match our seasons.

This Summer I am minimizing distractions and focusing in on two specific projects.  This means a lot of time at my desk and a lot of time learning formatting programs and editing skills.  

Both of these projects are women centred and focus on highlighting women through story, history and project creation.

I will be updating on my progress here and starting in July, monthly newsletters.

I am aiming to develop two specific pieces that bring multi-dimensional women to the spotlight and in one project specifically, to give a voice to how personality stereotypes limit our understanding of ourselves and others.  

Women supporting women isn't just a hashtag, it's a force to be reckoned with and I hope that as I bring life to these two pieces I will be able to align this work and myself with women who will breathe life into it and me.  

Heres to the ones who dream.  

No longer teenagers spending a Friday night together, we are adults with careers, a child, two families, a loft condo and all the complexities that those life changes bring. 

We are each others everyday rhythms.  Weaving in and out of lists, expectations and events.  
How do we find each other within the calendar outside of the dailys?

We aim for twice a month.  A bi -weekly affair.  Sometimes its simple, sometimes its extravagant.  

This Spring some of our dates have been:

- Going to the cinema to see Wonder Woman
- Driving to Mahone Bay and walking along Queensland Beach
- An impromptu Lunch at Finbars for Burgers and Beer
- A Breakfast at Portland Street Creperie  

At home, we squeeze in little moments daily.  Nightly showers together before bed.  A TV show we are enjoying together, making dinner with wine and music on... anything to set the ambience and mood for passion and desire to linger with us as we do 'the normal'.

For us, its not about anything out of the ordinary, but those moments that tie us together closer.  
 

In this video I tell my best friend about what shirts I have in my Spring Capsule Wardrobe

I mention
MODCLOTH
PSEUDIO
H&M

In the world of female creative entrepreneurs it can be hard to find and create an atmosphere for coming together in work.  Be it working in different mediums, being in different life stages or how many projects each are balancing.  The struggle is often finding a way to create a space to honour each others work and skills in a productive manner.

I am in the process of learning how to embrace and honour the women around me whom I have fallen into, chosen to and seek out work relationships with.

Honour and grace are two themes I feel have taken root into my heart for these relationships.  I want to honour the skill set of these women.  I want to pass grace when I feel misunderstood or I have mis-stepped.  I want to enter into partnerships that are about depth, growth, building each other up and giving insight into the work we do on a creative and inspiring level.  

It can be a scary journey.  To begin to align yourself with others and combine your skills to make something collaborative or even just to support each others work, but I think thats where the real stuff lies.  Building each other up and not feeling intimidated by the intelligence and creativity of another.  That we all have room at the table together.  

Spring has kept me on my toes and amidst the weeks that have flown by I have found these items have brought joy into my life.  
Clockwise from Middle.

1. Darling Magazine Issue #19. - A gift from best friend Jasmine Alexander.  She knows how much I adore creatively driven work and this magazine does creative women to a whole new level.  

2. WE : A Manifesto for Women Everywhere by Gillian Anderson and Jennifer Nadel -  I purchased this book to read over the Spring months.  It is a beautiful ode to what the elements of living an intentional whole life would look like for any person.  It also specifies  what it means to also carry womanhood along with these values and is a perfect way to drive home how important values of 'honesty, kindness, grace etc' in life and with each other as women.  I will re-read this when I need a boost.

3. Succulent in Mini Planter  - The planter painted by my Best Friend Nicole Payzant and daughter Zoë for my birthday.  It was such a touching item to receive and filled me with joy to know that they both enjoy time together doing various activities.  The succulent is a perfect addition to my spring decor. 

4. White Life Factory Water Bottle - I had a light blue bottle that broke when I dropped it without the lid attached.  They have since come out with many designs and sizes, but I realized that white is just fine for me.  I adore this brand, due to the glass (I don't like metal made bottles that leave an aftertaste of the metal) , and shape.

5. Sephora Face Sheet Masks - A gift from my husband and daughter on Mothers Day.   These masks are fun and good to have around when I feel my skin needs a bit of self care.

6. Essie Nail Polish  - A new shade for every season is a fun thing to look forward to.

7. Fiction by L.A. Eyeworks Eye Glasses - As a first time eye glass wearer I didn't know what to think, but not that I have these I realize how blurred my vision had become for long distance and TV screens.  I love how this pair makes me feel more of myself.  I don't feel different.  Just more of me. 

8.  LA LA LAND Film - Growing up I loved collecting movies.  It's hard in a culture where media is becoming more and more stored electronically to collect copies.  I made the decision as I embraced a more minimalist/intentional life that I would commit to buying and collecting musicals.  Musicals are not only a childhood enjoyment for me, but my favourite art form.  Having a copy of a musical fills me with joy.  

This video is on the pyjamas that Zoë and I bought for this Spring.  Zoës love for whales continues and I couldn't help but follow suit with the coastal theme. Like daughter, like mother. 

PAST BLOG POSTS ON TODDLER WARDROBE

WINTER 2017
AUTUMN 2016
SUMMER 2016

"WRITERS ARE DANGEROUS PEOPLE
Never take a writer for granted.
They are snipers armed with words.
They know how to aim with sentences.
How to fire with paragraphs, and
how to immortalize their kills in verse."
- Nakita Gill

I am heading into a summer of writing and spending a lot of time in here.  

Currently, I am getting it ready so that my focus can be maintained in this space.  Minimizing clutter, reviewing notes and making sure that even the candle I light is exactly the type of scent that will inspire me.  

These may seem like simple silly things, but I am an atmospheric writer.  I write best when I set the stage.  Past posters of two of my plays above me to remind me that I have done a thing or two, pictures of two women who have seen me through the worst and the best, an ampersand ornamental to remind me that there is always more to come and a fluffy mat for my bare feet in the early morning or evening.

For my deep and fun loving toddler, I have an Ikea table and chairs, with various creative elements and toys at her disposal.  The IKEA cart with various supplies 'crayons, play dough, paints, colouring books, etc).  Daily we come in here and practice what it means to give your creative self a ponder.  

Next time, I will show you my desk at a closer look when I have the appropriate camera to capture it.  For now, this will do. 

Gallery wall in living room.

We used starting a family as a catalyst into analyzing our own excessiveness.  As we have progressed over the past two years we have found that a few things for us will always remain true.

We value quality over quantity in every aspect of our lives.

We often regret impulse buys or decisions.   We've never regretted taking our time.

We value fresh air, good food, in-depth story telling, a spacious atmosphere and quality time with those we love.

When we focus more on our values and less on what we can show off of our lives, we have realized that we are able to truly be enjoying and at peace with the lives we lead. 

Your values and life goals may be different than ours and that is okay.   Honouring those values and goals is a sure way to find direction, peace and insight into the life that will bring you stability.  

*Other lifestyle priorities - capsule wardrobes, buying local, reading books, family time, healthy eating, walking and bed time routines.

This video was made for my Best Friend to share with her my new Giving Key and why I chose the word "Claim".

You can Get a Giving Key and find out about their work here

GIVING KEY POSTS FROM THE PAST

2016

2015

2014

I first met Annika while we were co-teaching theatre to a group of children through Neptune Theatre.  We crossed paths again during Women in Film & Television - Atlantic New Waves workshop series.  Annika has always struck me with her insightful questions, presence and depth.  She has a wicked sense of humour that is complimented with a beautiful tenderness.

How would you describe yourself?

I have two speeds. Total neat freak or complete slob; health obsessed or sitting around for days eating nachos; that kind of thing. I've rarely been in a happy medium between the two and that's something I'm trying to work on. 

What role does creativity play in your life?

I believe that as humans, creativity is our life blood. I can't imagine a world in which I can't play and that is what creativity is; it's playing, it's exploring, it's discovering. All of these elements are important as an actor, to allow yourself to be vulnerable and let your imagination run free. 

What are you currently working on?

After being an on again/off again actor for the past several years I have decided to give it 100 percent and see what happens. It's been thrilling, yet so grounding to feel this renewed sense of focus and self-awareness that I don't think I've ever felt quite as strongly in my whole life. It's so exciting to see this part of myself and I'm looking forward to seeing where it takes me.

What was the last book/movie/podcast that left an impression on you?

The Girls by Emma Cline. It's a thinly veiled fictional retelling of the Manson Family from the perspective of a young girl, Evie, who is welcomed into the inner circle. It's beautifully written and though I have no personal experience with cults of any kind, Evie's tale is incredibly relatable to any woman who was ever been a teenager. Cline articulates Evie's experiences and emotions in a way that adds depth to an otherwise trivialized time in a woman's life. Would recommend to all.

What advice would you give to other creatively driven people?

Try, try, try and suck. This has been a tough one for me to learn and I still struggle with it daily. To start writing the answers to these questions I had to stop censoring myself before I even began to type! When I remember that I don't have to be spectacular when performing, I just have to do my best, it really takes the pressure off. I've heard it so many times, perfectionism kills creativity. When we put these crazy, unrealistic expectations on ourselves to be something that really nobody is, it doesn't allow for the wonderful, unexpected discoveries that we can make about ourselves and our art.

Once you get to 'Two Years Old', experiences become not just a moment in time, but a tangible experience that you get to turn over and over again.  Like a smooth rock in your hand, you let the experience rest inside you.  Pondering its shape, texture, edges and feelings.  

This is what thrills me about the new stage we are in.  We get to curate, cultivate and choose moments for each other.  

We've created little moments as we go and now we are getting into new things.

This time:

Our provincial wildlife park.  A place to celebrate local and national wildlife while supporting the rehibiltation of those injured, and in the some cases, give them a perminate home after being badly injured.  While many of these animals have been born into captivity from zoological institutions around North America, what we love about this park is how it enforces to the public that these are animals we are to learn about, respect, rehabilitate and give the appropriate habitats to.  

Introducing Zoë  to and reminding ourselves, how important our wildlife is, the responsibility that we have to conserve their habitats, their safety and their future is a beautiful experience and one we want to continue exploring.   

This was a fun way to spend our Victoria Day and one we'll be revisiting as we grow.

*Special moments: 
Seeing a Canadian Goose all wrapped up.  Maybe warming a nest or just sleeping.  Either way, just as majestic as if it was flying.
Zoës reaction to the Arctic Wolves.  Pure enthralment.